Techy

Flavor

Thanks to Lindsey for a fun quiz.

You embody the perfect blend of sweetness and seduction. You personality is just as luscious and irresistible as chocolate ice cream. You have a flirty, melty attitude that’s easygoing and delicious. You appreciate luxurious, extravagant things, like the way ultra-soft fabrics feel against your skin.(this is pretty much the only part I agree with) Some people want to hog you all to themselves, but you find ways to make everyone feel special.

The more you *art

As I have told you before, we weren’t allowed to say the far* word while growing up. That is why I called my writing contest a stinkin’ contest, and not a *art contest. (That is just for you mom, now don’t read ahead because I am about to offend you)

I have managed to get out from under the control (and manners) of my parents, so I can now say fart. And, I can say that I was so happy to read all of your fart stories. Passing gas is indeed a funny thing, even if only a few of you entered my contest.

Many of you, misunderstood the contest rules (I will forgive you this first time, since a lot of you are new bloggers, but next time I will only consider those who actually post the story on their own blog AND leave me a comment with the link) I feel like I am forgetting an entry, but because everyone didn’t leave me a comment on my post, I may have inadvertently missed your link here. – Sorry, if that is you – please let me know and I will update)

A HUGE THANKS to all of you participants: (I so enjoyed reading your funny stories)

Renee with her Oliver/Nanny story. (just in a comment)

Chrys with her first fart while dating story. (also in a comment)

I really enjoyed everyone’s stories, but I chose the winner by who made me laugh out loud the hardest and longest.

And the winner is SHEILA.

Why? Because her story so could be something that would happen to me. If you wonder what I am talking about, you will have to read her story. (And, not to discourage future participants, but I have to admit that I can be biased towards the blogger who is the most faithful commenter)

The runner up is Jarrett. His story made me laugh the 2nd hardest. But, even if I did laugh the hardest on his story, I must admit I just can’t pick Jarrett the winner. I have a HUGE conscience that makes me feel really bad for that poor kid on the bus that he let take the wrath for his own flatulent fuel…poor guy, he is probably still in therapy to this day! Nonetheless, it’s a funny story.

So, congratulations Sheila. I guess I will be mailing a whoopy cushion to your friend who inspired your story. And, I am sure it will be one of the most proud moments of her life! You know, besides the time that she pooped her pants at the store while trying to out fart her hubby.
Sheila – e-mail me at alice.w.gold@gmail.com with her name and address and I promise to get her prize out within the next week.

Little People
And look and what I won from the greatest crafty blog out there!
Cally is a mad woman. She made this one REALLY hard.
I am proud to announce that I guessed her 7 Brides for 7 Brothers correctly.

And, even though, my stinkin contest prize is so, well, stinky
compared to Cally’s handcrafted little people,
I will shortly declare one of you the winner….stay tuned…I am still working on the post.

Thou Shalt Not Murmur
When no matter what, I can’t force myself to write, I shall post church signs.
(And when you people out West have bad blogging days,
I would really like to see what you come up with for interesting church signs)


So, my life is out of control.
Living the gospel consumed every waking moment and
even many of the sleeping ones last week.
After the weekend, I thought I would be rested….
And, I admit that I was mad that my husband and I didn’t get (nor still haven’t gotten) 2 minutes to ourselves to celebrate the good bar news.
(I mean you think after 10 years of married college life and still succeeding at having three children , we would have figured out how to steal away 2 darn minutes?)
So, what did I do in response to our craziness?
I had a weak moment and murmured to a friend this morning.
So, what did God do in response to my murmuring?
He took away those protective “your car is 10 years old angels” and he let my minivan die!
Man, I should have read these church signs more carefully last week
and been happy with our lives of service and not angry and resentful.
So, yes, I am going to learn from my mistake.
Instead of saying, “Holy CRAP what am I going to do this week without my car?”
I am going to choose to say, “Wow, God is so good to me. I am so grateful to have one car that both my husband and I can share this week. What would I do without that one car to carpool my kiddies, my hubby, and myself to ALL the places I need to go in preparation for the Ward Picnic I am in charge of on Friday?…Oh, I am so blessed to have that one little car.”

Only six words

If you only had six words to describe your life what would they be? I loved Yvonne’s memoir post. I had to play along even though I wasn’t tagged. (You see everyone, this is how tags really should be..no pressure)

A life of laughter and repentance.

Yeah, that is the best I could come up with. I guess I really am not funny and my blog will never be famous…oh well. But seriously, I do repent all of the time, and I laugh all of the time. Do you think that those have some correlation?

Do I have to stop blogging and thinking?

I am sorry to Sheila. (who is my only reader who missed my post this morning) I am sorry to any of the rest of you who really did miss me but just didn’t mention it…yeah right.

Two things at our house.

First, LG had his monthly interviews with the kids last night. As we were going to bed, he told me that separately each of the girls complained of my blogging. (It is so the life of a mother to find something that you really enjoy to have it ripped from your fingers…why is it that a man can go to work all day and not be forced to feel guilty, but if I blog for 2,3, 4 hours a day, I am a horrible mother – that was said sarcastically – I know my blogging has been out of control, but it isn’t as if I entirely ignore the kids) I know I need to find a blogging balance in my life. I do not plan to give up completely, I will just try to blog when no one is watching. HA!

Second, we are awaiting the second round of bar results that will be out this Friday. Things are a little hectic at our house at the moment. Even though we try to forget about it, it seems we are counting down every second.

So in honor of hopeful positive bar results, here is a link to a great news story. When and if LG ever gets a job beyond legal clerk, it will be nice to know that he can sue his boss, and not be fired for doing so. HA HA!

Marketing 101 for the Blogging World

Here is LG and I at work on our computers at the same time. This seems to have become our nightly entertainment. We are like an old retired couple. After we get the kids to bed and have a second to relax, I go to my computer to blog, and he goes to his to read my blog! ! (yeah right)

After getting linked on Instapundit a while back, I told LG sarcastically that I had made it in the blogging world. He laughed and said, “Alice the only way you really make it in the blogging world is when all of your friends tell all of their friends to read and the cycle continues for a few years.” Who knew?

So my question is this: All of you friends, are you telling all of your friends? (just kidding) As you read from my last post, you know I don’t have to MAKE it, I love to blog and just plan to keep on writing, even when my comment count gets low. (which is seems to have done lately – hint hint)

So in honor of making it in the blogging world, here is something funny for you all.

A while ago I read this explanation of Marketing. It was originally written about a woman bragging about her sexy skills. (if you know what I mean) I cleaned it up, and made it apply to those of us with blogging addiction.

Perhaps the following examples will help us all learn something today about Marketing:

You see another blog. You open it and leave a comment, “I’m the best blogger around.” That’s Direct Marketing.

Your blogging friend goes to another blog and says, “Check this out” and links to your blog saying “She’s the best blogger around”. That’s Advertising.

You go back to the blog after they’ve left you a comment. You get their e-mail address and send an e-mail to them along with links to all of your best work…”Check out my blog, I’m the best blogger around” That’s Telemarketing.

You write a post that somehow compliments every other blogger that you know. You offer free prizes and excessive linkage to everyone you know with a “P.S. message”, “I’m the best blogger in the world.” That’s Public Relations.

Somebody just comes to your blog out of the blue and they leave you a comment, “I hear you have the best blog in the world” That’s Brand Recognition.

You have the best blog in the world, and you use your power to convince other people to visit other people and places. Now you are a Sales Rep.

Your mother-in-law starts her own blog, and calls you to help her figure stuff out. She knows that you are the best blogger in the world. That’s Tech Support.

You leave over a thousand comments on blogs that you have never visited or never intend to revisit, you leave the comment “I am the best blogger!” with a link that says, “Come and see for yourself”. That’s Spam.

Top Mommy Blogger

Here is my response to The Wall Street Journal Article. I actually used to read her, but I could not stand her foul mouth and her hatred towards Mormons. I quit reading when she started messing with my emotions, not that she noticed me missing. I think I even sent her an e-mail once years ago, not to have it answered. Not that she cared about not responding. Read this article, the woman is making bank!

My only solace comes in knowing that my hubby will soon make plenty of money and so I don’t need to make money on my blog. I also have to repeatedly remind myself that my blog is for me…I don’t think I would ever sell out to advertisers. (not that I plan on being given that chance) I just would never want advertisers to rule my life. Selling out to advertisers is the blogging equivalent to bad politics. (But, I reserve the right to change my mind about that if I ever make it BIG!)

I do not like Dooce.com.
I hate it when she throws the bomb.

She does not make me feel calm,
more like a bad night at a prom.

I do not like dooce.com.
Even though they says she’s worthy of a sitcom.

I wish her blog would die in Guam.
Hanging people out to dry, she has no qualm.

Mormon hater, she writes our psalm.
Yet, she’s the most money making blogging mom.

I do not like dooce.com,
But I would like to be like dooce.com.
But, just a blogging version of becalm.

So, now that you know how I feel about Dooce, I will tell you that I only include one of the Top10 blogging parents on my list: Scribbit And, I gladly link her for you, but I refuse to link Dooce.com – Don’t worry none of you would like it anyway. I am probably the raciest blogger you read, and trust me when I say that hers is SO much worse. I do plan to check out the rest of the Top 10. I will let you know what I think.

Rear View Mirror

While on the road to pick up Sophia from school today, I noticed that Bella has picked up my love for rock and roll. It is hard to tell from the video, but she is a head boppin’ fool. (I have to apologize to my mother in law here who hates it when I drive and operate anything other than the car at the same time) Bella’s rock out session was much better before she realized that I was trying to catch her in the act. I resorted to videoing her through the rear view window so she would act naturally. I think that she still kind of knew what I was doing because she isn’t half as zealous as before in this video. When I got done and put my camera in my purse Bella said, “Mommy are you going to put me on your blog?” She didn’t want me to, but I hope she’ll forgive me someday. She is kind of blog shy.

I am always happy when I can catch something entertaining while driving in my car. Have you noticed my new K-town label. K-town is label for the things I see around Knoxville; it’s amazing the things you notice from your car when looking for blog photos. (usually while driving in the car – because you all know that I am in my car a good two hours every day) So, I was trying to figure out how I was going to come up with an excuse to post this cute blurb of Bella. I don’t want this to my “kid” blog. I don’t like reading other people’s blog when all they blog about is their children. (I do like to read about their children, just not ALL the time)

Sheila, my new blogging friend, just gave me the best excuse ever, to post my rear view mirror catch. WOW! I only had to wait three hourse to find a good reason to justify posting about my children again. Anyway, read Sheila’s post with a rear view mirror analogy. I loved it. It is good advice for all of us who need to learn to let go of our mistakes.