Shopping Fav’s

Halloween by NutMom
November 1st has quickly become 
one of my favorite days of the year.
It used to be the 2nd of November 
as that’s my birthday,
but now it’s the first.
For sure.
No contest.
Why?
It’s the day after Fall Madness.
That’s the only reason.
I hate the pressure
of Halloween.
Detest.
The pressure.
Even without comparing
it’s horrendous
to be a mom
at Halloween.
Here’s a poem
to explain.
The teenager hollered
starting three weeks ago.
“Mom, I need black tulle.
I also need black tights.
Don’t forget the spray paint
Oh, and I need that special make-up,
don’t worry
I’ll make sure it is just right.
Why don’t you dress up mom?
Why don’t you?
You’re no fun.”
The two girls in the middle
say
“Mom, I don’t want something out of the box,
I want something new.
I don’t know if I like
that 70% off costume.”
Chili cook-off dinner,
make sure you do the award winner.
Do you have some table centerpieces
to bring?
Why of course.
I just have to go and find them
in the garage,
buried under all my
back to school bins.
Not really.
Make all the calls for school parties,
try to get it done before dinner.
Take three days
to go to the school
and paint pumpkins
with the kids
because the PTA
thought it would be a great
idea to have a huge
Pumpkin Walk
just weeks following the carnival.
Oh, and don’t forget all the stuff
you had to purchase to put
in the gift baskets.
“Oh, you don’t want to do the craft.
You don’t want to do the game.
You just want to come to the class party and enjoy.
No worries.
I’ll take care of it all.”
Google and pinterest
are my best friends.
Too bad they can’t come
over and party tend
for me
so I can have a nap.
Off to the dollar store.
They don’t have orange balloons.
Neither does Wal-Mart.
Ah- ha I got the last bag
at the specialty party store.
I don’t need 100,
only 32,
I convince the clerk
to open the bag,
and sell them individually
for a quarter a pop.
Yes, you, even more procrastinating mom,
you are very welcome
at 10 am tomorrow.
“Caroline,
do you like this one?”
No mom it’s scary.
I don’t want to dress up.
I want to be a butterfly.
No, I don’t want to be a butterfly.
I want the cheap plastic wand.
But, what will you be with that?
That wand will be broken before
tomorrow night.
I’ve been there, done that.
At least 50 times.
Oh, look Caroline,
look at this cute
cowgirl hat.
It will go perfect with your
boots.
Oh, yes mom.
I love it.
It’s pink.
Do you want to wear it
trick or treating?
No I want to stay home with dad.
Dad wrote off Halloween
years ago.
He hates trick-or-treating.
Can’t we all just stay home?
We try to bribe the kids every year,
so far only the three-year old
thinks it’s a good idea to stay home.
Maybe we are moving in the right direction?
Let’s not even get into 
pumpkin carving.
That’s a whole other poem,
with the guts,
and the seeds,
that have to be roasted,
and the candles that have to be
found.
tonight.
And the specialty tools
that all break before the night is over.
And then I sit down for two seconds
before I have to run to the school.
And I look at the blogs.
And her family is all themed.
And her costumes are all homemade.
In fact,
I saw them
all over Pinterest
just yesterday.
And
this lady had a party
with handmade masks.
Oh, and this friend
has an annual
Halloween dinner
with spooky food.
Check out the jello worms.
I asked her if my kids
could come next year.
Because I am too tired.
And I just have to wonder?
Are these all the moms
that didn’t want to do the craft
or the game
for the school party?
Did they say no?
Or are they all as crazy as me?
Did they take them self to the picture show
last night too?
Because they just had to get away
after accomplishing
500 things yesterday
and then working their 4 hour shift
at their part time job
so they can afford
the game, craft, treat,
costume, pumpkin,
and the regular groceries.
Did they go to the movie
to avoid putting the kids to bed
because one more mom moment
would set them over the edge?
On the way home did
they sing to themselves
“took myself to the picture show
sat myself in the very last row
(da da  da da da da da
da da da da da da da –
because I couldn’t remember how
it really goes)
I’m a nut.
I’m a nut.
I’m a nut.
I’m a nut.
I’m a nut.”
Somehow I’m doing something wrong.
Terribly wrong.
Every year.
And maybe
next year
I’ll get it right.
Or maybe I will just
keep holding my breathe
and try not to flip out
for the next 20 years,
and then I can be the grandma
like her
who takes the grandkids
for their photoshoot
every year on Halloween.
Maybe at that point,
my new 
favorite day of the year
will be Oct 1st
instead of Nov 1st.
Because I
won’t have to
worry about my sanity.
I don’t think it’s
a coincidence
that this song was written
about an acorn on the ground.
Probably in the Fall.
Like late October.
I’m a an acorn on the ground, 
Sitting under this here tree.
Everybody steps on me, 
That is why I’m cracked you see.

Chorus:
I’m a nut,
I’m a nut, 
I’m a nut, nut, nut-nut-nut.

Called myself on the telephone 
Just to see if I was home. 
Made a date for half past eight, 
Better hurry or I’ll be late! 
– Chorus 

Took myself to the picture show 
Sat myself in the very last row 
Wrapped my arms around my waist 
Got so fresh I slapped my face! 
– Chorus 

Bought some roses at the store.
Told myself I wanted more.
That’s why I broke up with me.
Now I am a nut that’s free!
– Chorus 

Gee, I miss me all the time.
Wonder if I’m doing fine.
Maybe I’ll stop by to see
If I have a chance with me.
– Chorus

Coca-Cola went to town, 
Pepsi-Cola shot him down.
Dr. Pepper fixed him up, 
Now we all drink 7-Up.
– Chorus


For those of you that don’t know the song.

 

 Oh and here’s another fun find.

Advertisement

Gyro Bowl
Look what we got in the mail.

No, not Piper.

Not the packing poppy paper.

It’s a gyrobowl.

And Caroline put it to the test.

Piper helped a bit.

A while back I got an e-mail
asking for a product review.

I happily obliged.
knowing that 
Caroline would love a chance to try and destroy it.


If you haven’t seen the GyroBowl at Target yet

when you were out by yourself 
on your latest Wednesday night survival trip,
let me explain.
It’s a revolutionary no spill bowl that promises to bring an end to messy child eating habits.

Gyro Bowl uses 360-degree technology to keep items inside the plastic sphere. It stays open-side up, no matter which way a child decides to twirl it, throw it or dump it; virtually indestructible and works just like a globe!

Parents can rejoice at the thought of never having to clean snacks off the carpet or out of the deep crevasses of a car seat (we’ve all been there) again.  Children will love taking this super snack contraption with them everywhere they go.



Go to Amazon and buy one for your baby or toddler.

It will give them hours of fun as they try their darndest to spill all over your kitchen or your living room, or your car, or if you are really brave in their bedroom behind a closed door.

You are going to have to buy your own though because I am not giving mine away. My mini-van has been begging me to buy one of these suckers. Its carpets have been screaming for equal rights for vans with or without children.




Do you think they will invent something that can keep a kid from spilling while pouring next?
It seems we need that every night at the dinner table.

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My love affair with THE Wal-Mart

How anyone living in the 21st century can avoid shopping at Wal-Mart is beyond me?

If you have found the secret, do tell.
Recently I have reconnected with the site
Oh my goodness. Oh my goodness.
There are some crazies out there.
It’s really sad to think I am one of them.
I just entered my self-check out story in their contest.
I can’t remember the offered prize,
but what do you want to bet
that it’s going to require more of my life
given to my local Wal-Mart?
Shoot, now I hope I lose.
Unless of course,
I won’t have to actually spend
my own money at the place.
Tristi had a hilarious tweet the other night.
It said, “I got an e-mail from Wal-Mart, they miss me,
uh, I was just there an hour ago.”
Truth is always the best humor.
I was shocked at myself today when 
I not only respected but admired some people 
over at Wal-Mart:

Please tell me all my shopping hasn’t tainted

the little bit of sanity I have left.
Whose with me?
Is this not the smartest way a man could wait for his wife
while she is shopping?
You know how I always get distracted
in those clearance sections.
I mean he could probably
sneak in a whole basketball game
when it’s back to school season.
The only thing that I would suggest
as improvement
are a few extra camping chairs
kiddie size.
If you get my drift.
Then mommy could really get her shopping on.
A set up like this would have really come in handy
Wow.
I really am confessing
all my love for Wal-Mart today
aren’t I?
I think next month my game
is going to be
who can tell the best Wal-Mart story?
I think my mother in law has one
about someone passing gas.
Go ahead, feel free to give us a teaser.

Oh yeah, and don’t forget this month’s contest.
I’ve only got six funny jokes to choose from so far.
You don’t want to disappoint my kids, do you?
Your chances of winning a $20 giftcard of your choice
are looking real good.
Who wants one to Wal-Mart?

I want this CD
Anyone out there wanna buy me something?
Hint hint: LG, Mother’s Day is coming.
Oh, and you could get me a CD player for my van too.
Check out the songs:
Saints Bound for Heaven
My Song in the Night
We’ll Shout and Give Him Glory
His Voice As the Sound
How Bright Is the Day
Death Shall Not Destroy My Comfort
My God, My Portion and My Love
Bound for the Promised Land
I Want Jesus to Walk with Me
Old Time Religion
The Battle of Jericho
Down to the River to Pray
Rock- A My Soul in the Bosom of Abraham
Softly and Tenderly
Amazing Grace
Come, Thou Fount of Every Blessing

It was red.

It was red. It was perfect. And the story goes something like this:

The anticipation of Mother’s Day was slowly putting my husband over the edge. How the man ever buys a satisfactory gift for me with all that intense pressure, I will never know.

On Saturday morning I chuckled inside as he begrudgingly announced that he had some business to tend to and would be home shortly. As he dragged himself out the door, I hollered out, for the twentieth time that week, my short list of things that he could buy for me. I try to help him out like that. That’s what mothers are supposed to do and I wouldn’t want to shirk my responsibility so close to the holiday, would I?

Less than ten minutes later, he walked in with a good size box under arm. It was all wrapped up. What in the world? He confessed; he had gone to work to pick up the gift that he had really purchased several weeks back. He had been acting worried for two weeks just to increase the surprise.

I gasped for air. Had he really bought me a gift two weeks in advance? I must be getting more special by the minute. Or was I just better looking when I was 8 months pregnant with number three? He never buys Christmas gifts until Christmas Eve; he learned quickly to put off the torture as long as possible. Wow. I couldn’t have been more speechless if I had won the Grammy for mothering.

I was in a trance. I sat and I unwrapped. I felt like the luckiest mother alive. And let’s keep this between me and you, I was taking my time because I was a bit worried about what he may have picked out all on his own. Ideas were flowing freely into my skeptical brain. What if it was horrid? How would I play it off? The worry lasted for just a second. The picture on the box stole away all of my spousal anxiety and mistrust.

My jaw dropped. If the box was correct, he had purchased my coveted Kitchen Aid mixer. I can’t even tell you how many times it was on the long list of gifts to buy! It was the gift at the bottom for another day when we had more funding. It was a gift of such magnitude that it was never on the list that I typically yelled to him while he stomped out the door. How could he have remembered?

When I started to tear up, it was a little more emotion than he was ready for. He quickly explained, “I hope this gift lasts you for the next three years because you probably won’t be getting anything else for a while.” We would all become law school orphans soon enough.

The gift couldn’t have been any more phenomenal. Except maybe if it was a new couch. That is still on the long list. I tore into the box; I couldn’t wait to make some homemade rolls; I would finally be free of the torturous duty of kneading. I made a vow, the man would never hear me complain again.

But, wait! What color is that? It’s not the same as the picture on the box? It’s not the plain old white model. Oh my goodness. Oh my goodness. My eyes did not deceive me. My man had given me the moon and the stars just as promised in those old fairytales. My new mixer was a mixer with a purpose; it made a statement as grand as mine.

My new mixer was the color of my personality. My new mixer was my favorite color that I had never dared to declare. It was red. It was perfect. It was the color that I always described like this, “I don’t have a favorite color. I love them all. How could anyone declare a favorite color? All of the colors are beautiful in their own way. Oh, if I had to choose one? Well, I really do love the color red. It would be at the top of my list.”

I am sure that LG has given me great Mother’s Day gifts over the last ten years, but I can’t for the life of me, think of one. How could he top perfection? And not because it was from the long list, but because it was red. He had chosen my favorite color. And it was beautiful. And if his 8 month pregnant wife wasn’t beautiful, you could have never convinced her of it. Her husband had reached perfection in the gift giving department. And he did it just for her.

And I am now proud to exclaim my favorite color. When people ask, “What’s your favorite color?” I proudly reply. “It’s red. My husband chose it for me. It was a mixer. It was red. It was perfect.”

Now honey, don’t be getting any crazy ideas. A red couch would simply not do the trick for my upcoming birthday. Please keep the couch at the bottom of the long list and don’t EVER try to pick me out a couch, o.k.? Really, I want a say in the couch department. I am serious.

Oh, and I love you. And, I love red. And, I love my red mixer. But, I won’t love a red couch. Got that?

I will be submitting this to Scribbit’s September Write Away Contest. Just for fun. And as my way of saying thanks for the topic.

I am loved

My mother in law is the BEST!
I got my mother’s day gift in the mail today.
I can die happy now. I can finally be like Cally, is some small way.
I am an owner of a Lisa Leanord “mommy necklace”
sporting the initials of the loveliest girls in the world.
A for Abigail, S for Sophia, and I for Isabella.
And E for me being Ecstatic!
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you very much.

lisa leonard…no way!

Look at what Cally got for her birthday…We are all so jealous!

Really, Cally, you should have let Lori get one first, she was the one to tell us about lisa leonard. But, I guess you can’t control the best sister ever. Can you ask her to share her love language with us on our next birthdays? (LG, I know you are reading…FYI…I just read this page and I think I would love any love language you want to give:) I’m not picky, I’ll take whatever it is you want to give….a gift of value, a date, a massage, words of affirmation, whatever, you are so good at all of them)

Speaking of lisaleanord, check out her latest post about her son…so sweet!

Does my man hate Mitt?

I bumped this post from 1/29 for my instapundit readers! – Thanks for the link, Mr. Reynolds.

Here is the stuff that I want from the Romney shop.

LG thinks that I am on some silly kick. I have been on the internet for a good part of the evening, joining Team Mitt, reading about the election, and sending a mass e-mail to all of my friends. I even gave a monetary donation to the campaign earlier. Surprisingly, LG isn’t as mad about the monetary donation (only because it was so small) as he is about the e-mail that I sent to his in box (just like I did for all of my gmail contacts) from The Mitt Romney page. He called me a spammer. He told me that I would get some backlash for sending out politically charged info. to EVERYONE in my outbox. I can’t wait to see what happens. I anticipate some drama people.

LG also warned me that if I kept talking about religion and politics so much I was going to lose all my blog readers. Well, as always, I do listen and process whatever LG tells me. And, right now, here on my blog, I want to tell LG that I love him and know that he is (sometimes) right. I don’t respect many people’s opinions more than I do LG’s.

But tonight, I respect Mitt Romney a whole lot! (not necessarily more than LG, but let’s just say that I don’t think I will ever have reason to campaign for LG to be the President of the United States.) This is not just some kick of mine. (I will admit that I tend to get obsessive about stuff sometimes) I take my blog seriously, and I am using it just this once to talk about something that I think is important. I didn’t just get on You Tube and watch the Romney Girl and get on some kick. I have been reading and researching for a week and I just want to share what I have concluded. My conclusion may not matter to any of you, but I am telling you anyway: Mitt is the man for change in America. I am sad that Mitt has lost the Florida primary, but hopeful that he will still prevail. We need Mitt so that we can stomp on Hillary Clinton. (How can anyone in this country vote for another Clinton to hold such a sacred office….didn’t Bill sacrilige it enough already?)

I am not afraid to blog about what I want, but I want you to all thank LG that I will try and contain my Mitt kick to my door to door Mitt knocking and not to my blog from here on out. Just in case you wondered, LG also supports Romney, but he isn’t the type to get in your face. Of course, you all know that opposites attract.

And, the main reason for this blog….LG, this is the stuff that I want for Valentine’s Day. As I have said before, I love the wishlist aspect of the blog. You can buy me the magnet bumper sticker (not the sticky one) the yard sign, and the buttons. And if you really want to splurge, I love this hoodie. And, once again, just so you all know, this is not a kick. I am serious. I am in for the long haul…all the way to The White House!