It’s 4 days until Christmas. You’ve been gone for what feels like forever. I miss you so much, dad. You’ve been with me so much this month. In the Walgreen’s aisle with Almond Roca. In every bad dressed-up Santa. In the bicycle aisle at Wal-mart, and as I drove past the Harley store and heard your gut-busting laugh as I reminisced about running into the front door. With the Old Spice and the shaving cream I bought for Caroline’s slime. The rootbeer that I got just to think of you. In my feather pillow. In the measuring tape I needed at work and just happened to have in my car. When LG and I somehow managed to fix our own washing machine, the miracle belonged to you, and the moment wasn’t near what it could have been if I could have called you on the phone to hear your pride.
I wish I could see you just for a second. I want to see your smile. I want to feel your rough weathered hands. I want to smell you and feel the whiskers on your face when you try to give me a kiss and I turn my cheek to your greedy lips. One of the last things I said to you is that I don’t do kisses except for with LG and babies. I grew out of those a long time ago, but it never stopped you from trying. Ha. Unfortunately, as real as the memories are, because you aren’t actually here, I have to be satisfied with the memories making you alive in the sights, smells, and sounds that are here. When Mr. Bing Crosby whistles in “I’m Dreaming of a White Christmas,” I just pretend that you are right upstairs. And I know you are.
Last month I went to the temple. I prayed and pleaded with God that he would let me see you. I waited in the Celestial Room for a long time, but you never came. I didn’t understand. I forced myself to my feet and walked toward the door dejected and disappointed. Outside the Celestial Room, I threw my fifty tear-soaked tissues in the garbage and got a drink of water for my perched throat, and then I noticed a burly man in his prime wearing a white suit watching my every move from where he stood at the top of the stair-case across the breezeway.
As I walked straight toward him turning to ascend the stairs back to my stressful and crazy lifestyle, I felt a peace permeate me. The peace was a literal thing, and it pierced straight through my entire being. As I turned back to make sense of this feeling — this weapon of peace — that could entice me to do anything and everything to keep it, the man smiled and said “goodnight.” I returned with an automated “goodnight,” like a Walton’s episode, while also automatically turning back around to let the goodnight of peace propel me back to so much drudgery below. After two steps, I realized that this man (if it wasn’t you) represented you. You had chosen to offer me the greatest thing you had to offer — peace. And out of all the things you could say, you chose “goodnight.” As if you were really saying, “don’t fret, Alice. I’ll see you tomorrow.” Upon my recognition of what had transpired, I jolted my head back to catch you, dad, but all I got was the back of your suit headed back into God’s abyss. You had other stuff to do, and at that moment I knew you were just fine. Busy, but fine. You stole the moment for your grieving child. You stole it just for me because you are way more than fine. You are busy in a place of white. You will always be watching, but not necessarily 100% present except in memory. You didn’t even wait for me turn back because it would have been too hard to say goodbye instead of just a simple goodnight.
Oh dad, you are everywhere that I am. I take you with me wherever I go. I know you’re fine, but I sure wish I could feel that peace all of the time.
I survived my ten-day social-media-fast. I accepted the challenge by the prophet, but I wasn’t perfect. If you went to that linked article at Washington Post, you will see how many women were perfectly justified in delaying their own fasts. I didn’t start mine until last Sunday because I wanted to have an actual fast for the extra boost of help. I know it would be hard for me. I’m a junkie, and I’ve not just allowed but invited social media to penetrate my daily life. In many ways, it’s the only adult connection I get on a daily. Sad, but true. My husband works out of town, and my teenage kids are busy.
I was one of the women with my doubts and worries. As you can see:
As members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, we are unique from other world religions because we believe in a modern-day prophet. The current prophet is Russell M. Nelson. He challenged us all to fast (a lent of sorts) from social media for 10 days and to take inventory during the fast of how we can better use our time. My fast will happen from Sunday 10/14- Tuesday 10/23. I’m worried a bit because I rely on social media for so many forms of communication nowadays. If you need me, e-mail, call, text or snail mail. I have full faith that this difficult challenge will bless me in ways I don’t currently perceive. If it were Noah, I’d like to think I’d get in the ark, even if it seemed crazy before the rain started.
I had many friends tell me that they would love to hear my experiences with the fast once I got through. So, here they are.
It wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be, but I think that is basically because I’ve created my own boundaries with social media throughout the years. I’ve unfollowed everyone that is toxic to me. I rarely see any political posts, improve-your-body posts, and complaining-constantly/always looking for empathy posts.
I have a problem with driving and scrolling. This completely stopped in the last 10 days, and I hope to have totally broke the habit.
I really don’t waste that much time on social media even though I admit to checking my facebook/instagram many times a day. They are the only two platforms that I use consistently, and I think that helps me control my usage. I don’t use snapchat or MarcoPolo or many others. I rarely use Twitter unless I am trying to get a hold of JK Rowling. I usually only checked my linked in every month or two. I mostly check my insta and FB while in the bathroom or standing in lines, but I have wasted too much time hiding in the bathroom. I feel good about not wasting a lot of time, but bad about all the extra time I’ve been spending in the bathroom.
I will stop using my phone in bed. I have let social media steal my nightly reading time. I blame my nightly reading habits being broken on homework, but in honesty I could be doing some reading for pleasure if I wasn’t using social media as an escape.
There are some times that you just have to get on social media. I did some research for a local autistic group. I’ve been looking in to getting an adult diagnosis for someone I know. One of the first hits was an organization that helps adults and their facebook page was prime real estate for connecting with other locals who have been diagnosed. (That was cheat #1, but in my defense, I only sent one message. And, I have yet to read the response. Second, my daughter’s mother–in-law asked me to post about her dog so that she could win a year supply of dog food, and there was no way I wasn’t going to try and help. (Although most of my local friends weren’t on social media to see my post.) Fourth, I had to go back and look at an old message from a friend to recall a band name that I wanted to share with a co-worker. (Not vital, but what can I say? The flesh is weak, and in my old age I like to get things done when I think of them, so they won’t be forgotten. Lastly, I got an e-mail notification of a neighbor giving away a plastic filing system that I desperately need for my classroom next year. The photo was in my e-mail. I jumped on to snag that. Yes, I could have lived without all 4 of these cheats, and yes, once I jumped on for even a second, I felt the pull to stay there, but I resisted wasting any more time. That is a big takeaway for me. I need to be the ruler of the social media, not the other way around.
I missed chronicling my life in photos every day. I have a phone full of pictures from the last 10 days, and I will be sharing them. I love love love how easy it is for me to store family memories in this format.
I found it easier to connect with my family, as I had completely removed one really big distraction.
I also found it easier to read my scriptures in the mornings because I just did it at my first possible chance without being drawn away by cute pictures of my friends’ children/dogs.
I just re-added instagram to my phone (to add all the missed photos.) I will probably take some time to re-add facebook. I really don’t enjoy it as much as insta.
I really think I know a lot of women in-particular that have gotten stuck in the social media trap. They are more negative, whiny, impressionable, and don’t seem to be doing a whole lot but sitting on their sites all day. I think this is a really easy trap for stay-home moms and I’ve allowed it to influence myself way too much in the past. I’m grateful I’ve been able to identify that for myself and altered my own usage previous to the challenge.
That’s it for now, but I will probably be back to add some more (and edit my own typos and errors) when I have some more time.
This post is for my friends the belong to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Of course, if you aren’t one of those, feel free to play along. We watch eight hours of sermons here. Four hours Saturday and four hours on Sunday. Schedule is currently showing on the link and when it is going, live feed will be available at the same link.
It’s that time of the year, and because two new apostles were sustained in April, we needed a new printout for our treat schedule. {AND HOW EXCITED ARE WE TO SEE SOME ETHNIC APOSTLES!!!}
Feel free to use my print-out instead of taking the half of an hour to create your own. Here is a screenshot and a direct link to the printable google doc.
Happy conference weekend, y’all! They really are my two favorite weekends of the year.
There are a lot of different ways that desperate parents try to engage antsy children for this bi-yearly event, and I have tried many of them. However, I finally found my perfect system for the simplistic mom about a decade ago. It has stuck and is always looked forward to, so it must be a winner. It’s super low-maintenance. Here is a photo of it being put to use a few years back. Thank you insta for making a photo easy to find.
I write numbers (chronologically) in sharpie next to each of the members of the First Presidency and Quorum of the Twelve Apostles. I then go to the store and buy 15 snacks and write the correlating numbers on the snacks. The kids have a snack bingo all weekend long. Beef jerky is always the favorite and for some reason it often correlates with another favorite, Elder Jeffrey R. Holland.
I know, I know. It’s kind of gluttonous, but aren’t all the best times of the year about hanging with family and over-eating? At least on these two weekends we are also deeply fed spiritually.
Twenty miles south from my home, there is a raging forest fire occurring. The other day, a neighbor put out a call for some donations to take to the firefighters. As usual, I started to ponder on which items I could donate and which items I should donate. I thought of my budget taking another hit. We’ve had several weddings this month, a totaled car, a friend whose home burned down, school fees, etc. etc. There is never enough to go around. I started to worry because I wanted to help, but I didn’t think I could. I thought of the baby wipes up on the shelf and some beef jerkey that I had bought with a coupon a few weeks ago, and I determined that those would be my personal pledges for support. I prayed to God and told Him I would do more if I could and that it was on my heart to serve however He saw fit.
A message came back loud and clear. It rang in my mind, “Alice, this is not one that you need to do this time.” I didn’t understand. Didn’t the firefighting heroes deserve some clean socks, protein, and water? I prayed again. I got the same message. I decided to go on with my day, but it kept itching at me. I wanted to help where I could, but I was determined to follow the prompting I had received even though I didn’t understand it. This was on Friday.
Cannon also tweeted: “The American Red Cross is saying thanks to the generosity of local citizens they no longer need donations. There is a waiting list of people offering space in their home for evacuees. Thank you all.”
Utah Lt. Governor Spencer Cox also tweeted: “Update from the Red Cross noting a few problems: 1) Big waiting list…of people that want to HELP and provide shelter for others. 2) TOO MANY donations. Please stop for now. 3) 6,000 people evacuated and no one staying at the shelter. Well done Utah. Well done.”
You guys, God is real. He speaks to us if we listen. He speaks about things that may seem inconsequential. He knows all.
Oh, and people are amazing. I am so glad that so many stepped up to provide what was needed. They all beat me to it, but my budget is grateful.
“Thee world” is a term I just accidentally formed while writing a post over on facebook. I typoed an extra “e” on “the,” and then when I went back to delete it, I realized how much that extra “e” actually worked with what I was saying. You see, “thee” is a scriptural word reserved for when we want to reverently address deity in our prayers. I thought it a fun little play on words when describing the church-world problem of self-preservation that ofttimes shows its ugly face as self-righteousness. Here, you be the judge if it works:
I really wanted to include this in a blog post I am working on this morning, but it’s stuck in the FB interface, so here it is. I will direct my blog post this way. I believe strongly in this message. We all have stuff, and the people who talk about it, make “thee world” a better place by offering hope. The problem is that a lot of people won’t be brave because they are afraid of the backlash. If there is anyone out there who really needs to talk about any hard stuff in a safe place, I am here with judgement-free open arms. I believe that to be the pure gospel of Jesus Christ.
Here is Dan Workman’s original post (as my facebook is private), in case you’d like to watch the video I reference. If you don’t want to take the time right now, your loss. The essentials are that Dan Workman is a recovered heroine addict. He talks about this “perfection syndrome” that we’ve let grow out-of-control within the LDS church. He pleads with Utah to open up and be real because the “white picket fence syndrome” is “killing our kids.”
I would argue that “white picket fence syndrome” is not just happening with us in the LDS church, but that it’s a problem in every social construction out there. Anyhow, Dan’s a little brash (which I personally love about him), but I can see that he might turn off a lot of my “church friends.” I may get backlash from sharing his message here, but I must share it because I think it is so vitally important for everyone to hear. The change has to come from the inside and the only way we can make change happen is to first create awareness. I applaud you, Dan Workman. I hope you know that there are many of us, still inside the church, who are trying to fight the good fight with you. We don’t judge you for leaving, but we do wish you would come back and fight along side of us.
Many times, I fight the fight knowing the result will be my personal social ostracization, yet I still fight because I believe so strongly in the truth of what I speak. I love this meme below by Dwight. It explains me to the core. It takes special people to get past my brashness, but I keep at it because I know that the one person I have to answer to is not any mortal being but my Savior Jesus Christ. He loves people, and if we want to truly love people like he did, we need to first offer a safe space. A safe space cannot exist in a world where everyone can’t allow one weed to grow in their yard! And I can hear the argument now, it’s not like I am out to grow weeds on purpose, people, but weeds happen. People are not perfect. They will never be perfect, so how about we talk about that?
Right now, there is a culture within the church that is “killing our kids,” and “our kids” are really all of us. As Dan made mention to, Utah is #4 in the nation in drug overdoses. I think we need to honestly ask ourselves why so many people are falling into that terrible trap. What are they trying to escape? And why can’t they get help to escape once they realize they are in big trouble? On the uptake, why do so many people love Jeffrey R. Holland? I personally believe the reason that Jeffrey R. Holland is so powerful is because he “gets it.” He talks about his own struggles. He sets an example for the rest of us. However, we need to recognize that it’s a lot easier for Holland to talk about his struggle with depression (which is now generally socially acceptable) than it is for others to talk about their addictions, their marital issues, their apostate children, suicide, eating disorders, etc.
Whenever I am given the chance to speak in church, I always try to include a personal story of triumph over my own issues. It’s so funny because inevitably I get a handful of people that thank me profusely for my honesty, but in general most people seem awkward after I reveal something personal. They don’t know what to do with it. Why? Because it NEVER happens. When I was in the MTC, I was taught to “never reveal past transgressions.” I understand the reasoning behind this, but I wholeheartedly and adamantly disagree with what we’ve created using this harmful socially-constructed rule for decades. The Book of Mormon is replete with PROPHET after PROPHET who have repented. They are the true victors. They are the ones who applied the atonement and moved forward. When we don’t tell our own stories of triumph, we are creating a church for saints, not a church for sinners. Then we wonder why so many people leave the church. Why are so many sinners leaving the church? Because they feel like the only ones who belong there are the saints. How pathetically true this has become.
If only all of us could really be more like Jesus!
John 8:2-11
2 And early in the morning he came again into the temple, and all the people came unto him; and he sat down, and taught them.
3 And the scribes and Pharisees brought unto him a woman taken in adultery; and when they had set her in the midst,
4 They say unto him, Master, this woman was taken in adultery, in the very act.
5 Now Moses in the law commanded us, that such should be stoned: but what sayest thou?
6 This they said, tempting him, that they might have to accuse him. But Jesus stooped down, and with his finger wrote on the ground, as though he heard them not.
7 So when they continued asking him, he lifted up himself, and said unto them, He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.
8 And again he stooped down, and wrote on the ground.
9 And they which heard it, being convicted by their own conscience, went out one by one, beginning at the eldest, even unto the last: and Jesus was left alone, and the woman standing in the midst.
10 When Jesus had lifted up himself, and saw none but the woman, he said unto her, Woman, where are those thine accusers? hath no man condemned thee?
11 She said, No man, Lord. And Jesus said unto her, Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more.
Wow, I’m fired from my weekly writing duties. I don’t even want to apologize because it seems so trite. I know you don’t expect an apology anyhow. You, of anyone, have an understating of my time constraints.
I know I already told you this on the phone, but I just think it means something more to read a sentiment in words. I hope you know how much you are the highlight of my life. My conversations with you have become one of my Top 5 life joys. I’m so glad we battled our wills and differences out to get to this point. It is such a powerful place to be in a relationship where there is full honesty, yet no enmity. I hope and pray I can reach this same place of pure acceptance and love in all my relationships. I wish it didn’t have to be such a struggle.
Joy is the word of the month. I already posted on instagram and told you over the phone about my Christmas decorating epiphany, but I want to write it here as well. Please humor me again. For the record. I know you, like me, are a fan of the record. It’s probably ingrained in us to write things because of our lack of memory.
As I was decorating for Christmas, the word joy kept repeating. Over and over again. I started to suspect the universe was trying to send me a message. I then chuckled thinking of dad controlling the universe in his new elevated state. Immediately, I was dumbfounded. If dad was controlling the universe and its messages to me, why in the world was he exaggerating the idea of joy? That seemed so awful. Surely, he couldn’t expect me to be joyful this Christmas. Not when he isn’t around. He couldn’t be joyful either, could he ? Yet, it kept coming. In tree ornaments and on the new wall vinyl. Joy. Joy. Joy. It was shouting at me. I shouted back from the grieving recesses of my heart. NO JOY. NO JOY. Go away. I have no need for you this Christmas. I just want my dad back.
I had already decided that I wasn’t going to unpack my precious Willow Tree Nativity because I was sure Max would destroy it one crushed figurine at a time. But, something kept biting at me. Mom and dad wouldn’t care if it was broke. They don’t care about materialistic things. They wanted that unpacked. They wanted it to be enjoyed. So, I started unpacking. One box at a time. Abigail helped. We marveled again and again at each and every piece, and there was a palpable feeling of reverence as we placed each piece on my beautiful turquoise buffet. The buffet that is also a gift from you and dad. (It’s hard to remember that we all worked on it together just six months ago. Dad wrestled with the shoddy hardware and told me what to do in the future in case he wasn’t around. I thought he would always be around.) I especially love how Mary is cradling Jesus in this set. I pondered in my heart about the baby Jesus and how grateful I was for him and what he grew to do.
I got to the last box and immediately noticed one significant difference from the rest. Each box had my name written on it in black sharpie. With your signature angled cursive, you had labeled my boxes to be differentiated from the 6 identical ones meant for my siblings. But, the last box had my name, yet it wasn’t in your deliberate and feminine scroll, it was written in dad’s boxy and rushed block letters. It was as if he was in the room with me. My eyes welled with tears. “Oh dad, I wish you were here. I don’t want this box with the last remnants of your handwriting. I want your hands. I want your voice. I want you!” I hugged the box to my chest, and the name of the contents on the top of the box slowly focused upward through my tears. One tear dropped on the spacing of the letters. S-O-N-G O-F J-O-Y A-N-G- E-L. The universe whispered. “Hey it’s your dad here. I’m right here. I’m an angel now. And angels only declare one thing. JOY. Glad tidings of great joy.”
I placed the angel among the other figures in her place of honor. Looking down on mortality. I quietly thought about her singing with dad – the glad tidings of great joy. What exactly were those tidings? Why should I be joyful when my dad and I were separated? The answer came powerfully. The joy is that because of Jesus, you will see your dad again. Jesus paved the way. Jesus opened the way. Jesus made it all possible. I alarmed Abigail as a loud weeping escaped my mouth. I sat on the couch. She stared, not knowing what to do. I told her I was okay. I was just thinking about my dad. She’s gotten used to the sudden outbursts. I showed her his handwriting on the box. I told her how he used to write me letters from Alaska and how he always included a smiley face and an X and an O. Max climbed up on the couch beside me. He pointed to our family picture. He was listening to the message from the universe. His chubby finger announced, “Families are forever. Because of Jesus.”
Thank you for teaching me, mom. Thank you, dad, for indulging mom’s wishes to get all of her kids a nice nativity. It was your last Christmas gift to us. And it is everything. Literally everything. You are both so wise. You always had your priorities straight. You weren’t perfect. No one is, but you had perfect perspective. You still do.
I love you, mom. Merry Christmas. I hope you will feel the joy that dad is shouting from the heavens. It rings crystal clear.
I know you can’t watch the video I am including here. It shows dad as he talks to all of us at Erick’s house in 2014. (I’ll show it to you next time I see you.) It was the very last time we were all together. You and dad had just handed out all of our Christmas nativities.
I quote dad: “Most of all, I want to thank you all for staying close to the gospel, and bringing it to a setting like this today. You cannot imagine what it means to grandparents to know that all of our children are close to the gospel. And are being taken care of by Him. I don’t have anything else to say except I love you.” I love you too, dad.
Pull up your socks, and tie your shoelaces tight because this question was answered in an overabundance. I believe this is a testament that we are living under God’s plan of happiness. He wants us to be happy!
Revelation Two 2015(2)
How can I be happier?
Elder Jeffrey R. Holland said, “Don’t give up. … Don’t you quit. You keep walking. You keep trying. There is help and happiness ahead. … It will be all right in the end. Trust God and believe in good things to come.”10Wixom
[Boyd K Packer taught],”Our happiness in mortal life, our joy and exaltation are dependent upon how we respond to these persistent, compelling physical desires… The Atonement, which can reclaim each one of us, bears no scars…There are so many of us who are thrashing around … with feelings of guilt, not knowing quite how to escape. You escape by accepting the Atonement of Christ, and all that was heartache can turn to beauty and love and eternity…It is not the time to receive all of our blessings. And they all lived happily ever after’ is never written into the second act. That line belongs in the third act, when the mysteries are solved and everything is put right.”9 However, a vision of our Father’s incredible promised blessings must be the central focus before our eyes every day—as well as an awareness “of the multitude of his tender mercies”10 that we experience on a daily basis.”What will it matter, dear sisters, what we suffered here if, in the end, those trials are the very things which qualify us for eternal life and exaltation in the kingdom of God with our Father and Savior? Reeves
“Aunt Rose, why are you so happy?” Eva was silent, so Great-Aunt Rose continued: “There is enough that doesn’t go right in life, so anyone can work themselves into a puddle of pessimism and a mess of melancholy. But I know people who, even when things don’t work out, focus on the wonders and miracles of life. These folks are the happiest people I know. “But,” Eva said, “you can’t just flip a switch and go from sad to happy.” “No, perhaps not,” Aunt Rose smiled gently, “but God didn’t design us to be sad. He created us to have joy!3 So if we trust Him, He will help us to notice the good, bright, hopeful things of life. And sure enough, the world will become brighter. No, it doesn’t happen instantly, but honestly, how many good things do? Seems to me that the best things, like homemade bread or orange marmalade, take patience and work…“There were so many things I wished for in my life.” As she spoke, a sadness entered her voice that Eva had never heard before. “Most of them never happened. It was one heartbreak after another. One day I realized that it would never be the way I had hoped for. That was a depressing day. I was ready to give up and be miserable.” “So what did you do?” “Nothing for a time. I was just angry. I was an absolute monster to be around.” “‘It’s not fair’ was the song I sang over and over in my head. But eventually I discovered something that turned my whole life around.”
“What was it?” “Faith,” Aunt Rose smiled. “I discovered faith. And faith led to hope. And faith and hope gave me confidence that one day everything would make sense, that because of the Savior, all the wrongs would be made right. After that, I saw that the path before me wasn’t as dreary and dusty as I had thought. I began to notice the bright blues, the verdant greens, and the fiery reds, and I decided I had a choice—I could hang my head and drag my feet on the dusty road of self-pity, or I could have a little faith, put on a bright dress, slip on my dancing shoes, and skip down the path of life, singing as I went….“It is love—the pure love of Christ,” Rose said. “You see, everything else in the gospel—all the shoulds and the musts and the thou shalts —lead to love. When we love God, we want to serve Him. We want to be like Him. When we love our neighbors, we stop thinking so much about our own problems and help others to solve theirs.”7“And that is what makes us happy?” Eva asked. Great-Aunt Rose nodded and smiled, her eyes filling with tears. “Yes, my dear. That is what makes us happy.” Uchtdorf
And all of us, as members of the Church, we need to make a conscientious effort to devote our energy and time to the things that truly matter, while uplifting our fellowmen and building the kingdom of God…My dear brothers and sisters, if we look at ourselves only through our mortal eyes, we may not see ourselves as good enough. But our Heavenly Father sees us as who we truly are and who we can become. He sees us as His sons and daughters, as beings of eternal light with everlasting potential and with a divine destinyUchtdorf
Now, as we ponder just these few truths that exist within the Old Ship Zion, let us stay on board and remember that, by definition, a ship is a vehicle, and the purpose of a vehicle is to take us to a destination. [My note: We have not arrived.] Ballard
The joy we experience in this life will be in direct proportion to how well our lives are centered on the teachings, example, and atoning sacrifice of Jesus Christ….“The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field, which a man found and covered up; then in his joy he goes and sells all that he has and buys that field.”Matthew 13:44..What follows is a reflection from Sister Maynes on her experience:
“As a young adult in my early 20s, I was at a point in my life when I knew I needed to change something in order to be a happier person. I felt like I was adrift with no real purpose and direction, and I didn’t know where to go to find it. I had always known that Heavenly Father existed and occasionally throughout my life had said prayers, feeling that He listened. As I began my search, I attended several different churches but would always fall back into the same feelings and discouragement. I feel very blessed because my prayer for direction and purpose in life was ultimately answered, and the fulness of the gospel of Jesus Christ was brought into my life. For the first time I felt like I had a purpose, and the plan of happiness brought real joy into my life.”…At this point in time, some 30 years after Lehi and his family left Jerusalem, Nephi makes a well-documented and somewhat surprising statement, especially after recording in the scriptures the many afflictions and tribulations they had faced for so long. These are his words: “And it came to pass that we [did live] after the manner of happiness.”5 Despite their hardships, they were able to live after the manner of happiness because they were centered in Christ and His gospel. Maynes
Our family motto doesn’t say, “It will all work out now.” It speaks of our hope in the eternal outcome—not necessarily of present results. Scripture says, “Search diligently, pray always, and be believing, and all things shall work together for your good.”5 This doesn’t mean all things are good, but for the meek and faithful, things—both positive and negative—work together for good, and the timing is the Lord’s. We wait on Him, sometimes like Job in his suffering, knowing that God “maketh sore, and bindeth up: he woundeth, and his hands make whole.”6 A meek heart accepts the trial and the waiting for that time of healing and wholeness to come. Marriott
Through our experience in life, we learn that joy in this world is not full, but in Jesus Christ our joy is full (see D&C 101:36). He will give us strength so we will not have to suffer any manner of afflictions save they are swallowed up in His joy (see Alma 31:38). President Marion G. Romney taught: “The suffering and distress endured by people of this earth is the result of unrepented and unremitted sin. … Just as suffering and sorrow attend sin, so happiness and joy attend forgiveness of sins”..With the influence of the Holy Ghost, we will not be offended, nor will we offend others; we will feel happier, and our minds will be cleaner. Vinas
The adversary has been successful in planting a great myth in the minds of many people. He and his emissaries declare that the real choice we have is between happiness and pleasure now in this life and happiness in a life to come (which the adversary asserts may not exist). This myth is a false choice, but it is very seductive.2The ultimate noble purpose of God’s plan of happiness is for righteous disciples and covenant families to be united in love, harmony, and peace in this life3 and attain celestial glory in the eternities with God the Father, our Creator; and His Beloved Son, Jesus Christ, our Savior…and from Ezekiel, that the Sabbath “shall be a sign between me and you, that ye may know that I am the Lord your God.”24For members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, honoring the Sabbath is a form of righteousness that will bless and strengthen families, connect us with our Creator, and increase happiness. Cook
Recently, a young filmmaker said he felt he was part of a “generation of prodigals”—a generation “looking for hope and joy and fulfillment, but looking in all the wrong places and in the wrong ways.”18Hales
A few days after this trip, I visited this stake and asked the president if I could talk with some of the members who were unable to attend the temple that day. One of the brothers I visited told me: “Elder, do not worry. I was at the house of the Lord. I sat on a bench in the garden and pondered in my mind the ordinances. Then I was given the opportunity to enter, but instead I allowed another brother, who had come to the temple for the first time to be sealed to his wife, to take my place. They then had the opportunity to attend two sessions that day. The Lord knows me, and He has blessed me, and we are fine.”…Smile. This small action can help those who are overwhelmed or burdened. Montoya
Our Heavenly Father loves us enough to say: Thou shalt not lie; thou shalt not steal; thou shalt not commit adultery; thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself; and so on.2We know the commandments. He understands that when we keep the commandments, our lives will be happier, more fulfilling, and less complicated. Our challenges and problems will be easier to bear, and we will receive His promised blessings. But while He gives us laws and commandments, He also allows us to choose whether to accept them or to reject them. Our decisions in this regard will determine our destiny. Monson
The path of happiness is through the basic family unit as originally organized and revealed by our Heavenly Father. This is the familiar melody of the message that many can recognize because they have heard it from their premortal life. It is time for us, as Latter-day Saints, to stand up and testify. It is time for the notes of the melody of the gospel to rise above the noise of the world. I add my testimony to the message of the Savior and Redeemer of this world. He lives! His gospel is restored, and the blessings of happiness and peace can be secured in this life by living His commandments and walking in His path. Schwitzer
While a member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, George Q. Cannon urged that we make a constant quest for the Spirit to be with us. He promised, and I promise it as well, that if we pursue that course, we “will never lack for knowledge” of the truth, “never be in doubt or in darkness,” and our “faith will be strong, [our] joy … full.”2Eyring
provide an uplifting place for your thoughts to go—a place that keeps you close to the Spirit of the Lord. Durant
As we submit ourselves to His will, we increase in peace and happiness. King Benjamin taught that those who keep the commands of God are “blessed and happy … in all things, both temporal and spiritual.”6 God wants us to have joy. He wants us to have peace. He wants us to succeed. He wants us to be safe and to be protected from the worldly influences all around us. Keetch
I testify that as we trust God, our Eternal Father; trust His Son, Jesus Christ, and exercise faith in His Atonement; trust the whisperings of the Spirit; and trust the counsel of living prophets, we will find our way off the edge of the road and continue safely—not just enduring but finding joy in our journey home. Stephens
So, to summarize:
Keep trying, there is happiness ahead. They lived happily ever after is reserved for the third act. As Aunt Rose taught, happiness is a decision. A decision to love. We are beings of eternal light. The church is a vehicle that will get us to our final destination. “The joy we experience in this life will be in direct proportion to how well our lives are centered on the teachings, example, and atoning sacrifice of Jesus Christ.” Believe that the good and bad will work together for our good. We will be more happy as we are forgiven for our sins. Satan plants the lie that we have to choose between happiness now or happiness later – we have a generation of prodigals looking for joy and fulfillment in all the wrong places. “The Lord knows me, He has blessed me, and we are fine.” When we keep the commandments our lives will be happier, more fulfilling, and less complicated. The path of happiness is through the basic family unit. If we make a constant quest for the spirit to be with us, our joy will be full. Provide an uplifting place for our thoughts to go. (That is opposite of what I’ve wished. My mind provides the place, not the words changing my mind.) Submitting myself to His will will increase my happiness. We can get off the side of the road and find joy in our journey home. (Remember this life is just a journey home – as long as I am headed home, I’m okay.)
Note:
This series will be an undertaking of love. This post has taken over an hour to compile. I know it is too lengthy for a blog post, and I am pretty sure no one will ever read this, but this morning, happiness, my desire for it, and how to get there have been solidified in my mind again. And, isn’t that the main point of writing this all down?
I sat behind a friend’s family at church two weeks ago. She has A LOT of kids….just how many you will see in the poem I wrote below. Their family got to church before ours, and her kids were super well-behaved through the hour-long service. I was in awe. I wrote a poem.
For all you moms out there, especially you heavy-hitting ones with a bunch of kids, this is also for you. When you gather up all your kiddos and take them to church, so they can give their Heavenly Father proper respect, you are doing something that God can’t do himself. I’m pretty sure He is super happy with you, and He knows the struggle. It’s oh so real.
Happy Mother’s Day!
Some Sundays are not as ideal as others. I’m sure my friend Anjella has known many that didn’t go so smooth. Like probably every single Sunday when at least one of her kids can’t find the right shoe. Or when they didn’t make it on time because someone puked at the last minute. That maybe happened six weeks in a row. Or when the kids aren’t well-behaved, for an entire two years straight. But, I firmly believe that when we do our best, God takes care of the rest, and helps in every way He can. We are revered. We are partners with God in raising His children. He must be so grateful when we remember Him, and even more grateful when we teach our children to do the same. We are all poem-worthy.
Disclaimer: the dad in the poem had a name-tag on his binder under his chair that said, “Hello, my name is crazy.”
Revered
9 little heads of hair:
5 crew cuts, and
1 cascades to the chair.
Two bows,
and a fishtail braid
9 feet.
Each has a match
encased in the finest.
A closet-full of oxfords,
cowboy boots, and sandals.
9 bodies
outfitted pristinely.
4 dresses,
5 white shirts with vertical ties
and one horizontal striped.
9 pairs of hands
tiny to preteen,
turning the hymns,
clutched in contemplation,
and combing mama’s hair.
9 sets of eyes
look to mom,
glance at dad,
proliferate the chapel,
missing nothing.
9 hearts in need.
9 mouths to feed
9 sets of skin
to wake, wash, and love
over and over again.
9 children
with just one mother
and a dad named “crazy”.
They meet each need
before their own.
9 is monumental
more than possible
for just two sets of hands.
Oh wait!
There’s 2 more.
The 2 oldest
joined the rest
after serving
the Lord’s supper.
1 more week of power.
This is my first installment. I hope to keep it up.
I plan to start a series here called Revelation. You don’t have to read it. It’s more for myself than anyone, but I love having one place to put all my stuff. If you don’t like it, that’s fine. This is my blog, and I will do what I want with it. Oh, the power. I think this little blog is the only thing I actually have control over.
As many of you know, I am a believer. Specific to this series is the fact that I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Some of you will now automatically think you should stop reading because I belong to a cult. Some of you will think you should stop reading because I am not Christian. Some of you might stop reading because you’ve already “been there, done that”, and you don’t believe anymore. That’s fine. Once again, this is for myself.
As a member of my religion, I believe strongly in personal revelation. In fact, I shape my life and all of my decisions around it. Personal revelation is when you believe God talks to you. I think God talks to all of his children. I also think we have to believe He talks to us to hear his voice, and we have to listen to what He says or He will stop talking.
He communicates with us, as described here:
So, I seek revelation through prayer, scripture study, meditation, communing with nature, going to church, and attending the temple. One way I find the most success in receiving revelation in my own life is through something called General Conference. In the gospel of Jesus Christ we believe in a living prophet (like Moses) and twelve living apostles (like Peter, James,and John.) These mouthpieces for God speak to the world twice a year in an eight hour breakout meeting. It’s my favorite two weekends of the year. The spirit I feel during these meetings fills me with fire, gives me perspective, and brings me peace like I cannot feel anywhere else.
I started a pattern in my life many years back. Before conference weekend I write down questions for which I need answers. My techniques in capturing answers have evolved, and for the last several sessions I have dedicated a whole composition book to taking notes, cross-referencing, re-reading, and digging deeper. I index the question numbers at the front of the book, and annotate in reference to each numbered question as I go. It sounds complicated, but it is actually simple, and it provides amazing results. The results are what I plan to share here in this series.
So, sorry for the long explanation. In this post I will address question number one that I had before the October 2015 session. As referenced in the post title. Revelation One (referring to question 1) 2015 (correlating to the year of conference) and then (2) meaning the second session of October as opposed to (1) which I will use for April session.
Right now, my front page looks like this:
Thus, the reason for transferring it all to this here blog. I want to take all the indexed page numbered answers to each question and write them all in one place.
This may seem silly and even a little OCD, but I can’t wait to have one place to mull over the collective revelations I received for one topic. It is quite astounding what kind of very specific messages one can receive from God by listening to general talks from complete strangers. If you are still reading, and continue to do so, you might be really surprised as well.
So, with no further ado.
Revelation One 2015(2)
English Education or English major?
Rose had been a schoolteacher, and it wasn’t uncommon for former students—now grown up with children of their own—to stop and chat. They thanked her for being a good influence in their lives…’I went to school. I got an education. That led me to a career that I loved.’ Ucthdorf
Ask yourself, ‘If I make this choice, what is the worst thing that could happen?’ Your righteous choices will keep you from getting off course… Education prepares you for better employment opportunities. It puts you in a better position to serve and to bless those around you. It will set you on a path of lifelong learning. It will strengthen you to fight against ignorance and error. As Joseph Smith taught: ‘Knowledge does away with darkness, suspense and doubt; for these cannot exist where knowledge is. … In knowledge there is power.’9 ‘To be learned is good if they hearken unto the counsels of God.’…’I didn’t raise my children on money; I raised them on faith.’ There is a great truth to that. Begin exercising your faith in every area of your life…Prayerfully select mentors who have your spiritual well-being at heart. Be careful about taking advice from your peers. If you want more than you now have, reach up,not across!…Ask yourself: “What areas of my life do I want to strengthen so that I can strengthen others?Where do I want to be a year from now? two years from now? What choices do I need to make to get there?…As you follow Him, He will strengthen and uphold you. He will bring you up to your highest home. Hales
I can’t think of a better example of helping someone gain understanding than the story of Helen Keller. She was blind and deaf and lived in a world that was dark and quiet. A teacher named Anne Sullivan came to help her. How would you teach a child who can’t even see or hear you?… Helen Keller went on to earn a college degree and helped change the world for people who couldn’t see or hear.9 It was a miracle, and her teacher was the miracle worker, just like you will be Foster
I cheerfully accepted, feeling at the same time my great weakness and lack of experience…You can pray to know His will, and with the honest desire to do whatever He asks you to do, you will receive an answer Eyring
When firmly planted, our testimonies of the gospel, of the Savior, and of our Heavenly Father will influence all that we do. Monson
As I agonized over my inadequacies this week, I received a distinct impression which both chastened and comforted me: to focus not on what I can’t do but rather on what I can do. I can testify of the plain and precious truths of the gospel. Stevenson
Many of the personal rewards I have received in life have come as a result of someone inviting me to do a difficult task. Durrant
True disciples desire to inspire the hearts of men, not just impress them. Schwitzer
Whatever level of spirituality or faith or obedience we now have, it will not be sufficient for the work that lies ahead. We need greater spiritual light and power. We need eyes to see more clearly the Savior working in our lives and ears to hear His voice more deeply in our hearts. Clark
Show faith to reconcile your wishes with the will of God. Eyring
These last two are from studying The Book of Mormon along with Conference Talks:
2 Nephi 29:11 For I command all men, both in the east and in the west, and in the north, and in the south, and in the islands of the sea, that they shall write the words which I speak unto them; for out of the books which shall be written I will judge the world, every man according to their works, according to that which is written.
2 Nephi 26: 30-31 Behold, the Lord hath forbidden this thing; wherefore, the Lord God hath given a commandment that all men should have charity, which charity is love. And except they should have charity they were nothing. Wherefore, if they should have charity they would not suffer the laborer in Zion to perish.31 But the laborer in Zion shall labor for Zion; for if they labor for money they shall perish.
So, to summarize:
Going to school to “lead to a career that you love,” is a good thing. Education is awesome, will give me greater opportunity to serve, and will ultimately bring me to my “highest home.” I shouldn’t raise my kids or my writing or my teaching on money but “on faith.” I don’t need advice from my peers, and I should carefully select mentors. (This is really important when you are studying the liberal arts at a liberal institution.) Because of Helen Keller’s teacher she went on to be a teacher and help many people. It boils down to what “He wants me to do,” and I should seek his “influence.” “Focus not on what I can’t do, but what I can,” especially when plagued with my own inadequacies. Succeeding at a difficult task will lead to personal reward. “True disciples desire to inspire the hearts of men, not just impress them”: this can be achieved through writing and teaching or in just teaching or in just writing. I need greater faith for whatever lies ahead, either choice. I need to reconcile my wishes to God. I need to write the books of the world, and if I labor for money I will perish.
Pretty amazing, eh? I still haven’t decided if English Education is a “have to” in my life. I can teach with just a plain English degree with additional licencing work after I graduate. I will write either way. I would LOVE to teach. I would LOVE it. I will be good at it. It will give me an awesome opportunity to inspire the next generation. It will also fulfill a lifelong dream that I would enjoy achieving immensely. But, it may not be God’s ultimate goal for me. Either way I just need to seek Him out and He will direct me. For now, I am certain of two things. I will graduate, and I will write and teach. In what capacity may be answered in a following conference.
Change starts with one person at a time. Steve Harvey did a fantastic job of owning his mistake and apologizing recently at the Miss Universe pageant. He even made millions of people laugh when he showed he can laugh at himself. And his wife did a great job of showing her unconditional support. If the ripple effect takes control, then before you know it, we can all live in a better world where we support each other instead of killing each other emotionally.
On Christmas he posted this pic with the caption “Merry Easter y’all” on his facebook and twitter. Class act!
Steve Harvey screws up. I screw up. You screw up. Everyone screws up. The screw up doesn’t matter as much as if we are able to identify it, apologize, and better ourselves.
The following is my Christmas story this year.
Here’s a screw up of mine at FedEx a few weeks back.
You see, the clerk didn’t have the best customer service skills, and I reacted harshly when she told me I was forced to pay $5 for a shipping box because the one I brought didn’t have the FedEx logo on it. I was trying to ship back a textbook I had rented, and there was no way I was paying $5 for a box when mine would work perfectly fine. I insolently told her how I felt: I would go to UPS because I wasn’t paying $5 for a box! Then I stormed out.
I drove home to print the shipping label as I realized after-the-initial-trip that with the preprinted label the textbook company would foot for the shipping cost. As I drove home with full intentions of taking my business to UPS I evaluated my impatience and realized what I needed to do to make it right. Maybe because I was so abrupt I didn’t allow her to explain correctly? Maybe it would actually cost $5 for the box and the shipping? I printed the label and stopped at Chickfila and bought a $5 giftcard.
When I got back to FedEx the original clerk was busy with another customer. Another employee came to help. I showed him the box and the label. He explained that FedEx could ship my shoebox, but it couldn’t guarantee its safe arrival. It did indeed cost $5 to buy the box and have it packaged by them for total assurance. I explained I didn’t want to spend $5 on a box and we evaluated my other options. I decided to go home and get a box other than a shoebox. But, yes, the first clerk had been wrong about the FedEx logo necessity. Maybe if I would have let her properly explain I would have saved myself a trip. Or maybe not because she seemed to be learning this for the first time as I did.
Before I left I went up to the original clerk and apologized explaining, “I was rude to you, I’m sorry. I got this for you, so you will know of my remorse for acting impolitely.” She said, “It was fine.” I continued, “It wasn’t fine. I jumped to conclusions and was aggressive and these are things I am trying to work on personally, so I thought if I bought you lunch it would help me remember how I should act next time.” She took the giftcard and thanked me. All three Fedex employees were staring at me in disbelief.
I went home for the right kind of box, and returned to FedEx towing along for the third time my 37 pound one-year-old who was now ready for a nap. I grabbed a bag of Reese’s Peanut Butter cups at home for the second customer service rep. that was truly helpful, and thanked him profusely for his patience and competance as I handed him the candy and the correctly packaged book with the shipping label. While he handed me back my tracking information I realized that it had taken me all morning, but I ended up not spending a dime at FedEx.
Unless, of course, you count the gallon of gas, the $5 giftcard, and the bag of Reese’s Cups.
Lesson learned. I laughed at myself the remainder of the day, and when my husband got home from work and I told him of my whole morning spent going back and forth to FedEx he laughed too.
The thing is this….we’ve learned a lot in therapy. He gets what I was trying to do. Be a better person. He knows that I’ve learned that I am aggressive. I’ve learned that I am abrupt, and that those behaviors are keeping me from having the relationships I want with others. I am actively trying to change my bad behaviors. It’s hard to do. Old dogs like old bones, not new tricks.
However, we both understand, also, that no one is perfect. All we can hope for is improvement. All we can give is effort. We should be patient with ourselves and others. When we openly work on our stuff (like I did at FedEx) other people might be inspired to openly work on theirs. They may not work on their stuff because “working on stuff” has never been demonstrated. They may have never “worked on their stuff” because everyone around them is either in denial of their own stuff or critical and not allowing room for work.
So, even though I have a great desire for altruistic behavior all of the time, my actions fall short. Often. I am no saint. But, I still can be someone else’s inspiration when I say I’m sorry. I screwed up. And so can you.
And change is a beautiful message to ponder this Christmas season.
alice w. gold 