FunnyBlog

Lemons

Do you want to know what I think is totally sour?
I hate it when my friends send me e-mails that ruin a very real enjoyable part of my life.

I always get a lemon in my water when I go out to a restaurant. I can’t stand the taste of old yucky pipes.

I won’t paste the forwarded e-mail here, but let’s just say that one of my friends decided it was necessary to tell me that restaurant lemons are full of germs.
Do you know how I am dealing with the news? Well, I am basically acting as if I never received the news. I have reasoned it away so that I can continue to enjoy my eating out experience.

How do I know those people are really scientists? And how can they say that just because the lemons are bacterial at Harvard area restaurants it means that it is the same scenario in Knoxville? Besides, I am never going to visit Harvard anyway, and I am sure that the waitresses’ fingernails in Knoxville are cleaner than those uppidity college students.

So, people, please think before you send me an e-mail. Some people are just trying to live every day anxiety free. I just don’t want to know these trivial things. I have never gotten sick from a restaurant lemon before. I dont want to worry every time I sit on a public toilet seat. I want to take my kids to McDonald’s to play in the balls syringe free. I want to check to see if someone left their change in a vending machine or public phone (haven’t seen one of those in a long time – are they still even around?)

You get the picture. No more sour e-mails, please!

I love Mitt and a good game.

SCATTERGORIES – it’s harder than it looks!

Use the first letter of your first name to answer each of the following. They have to be real places, names, things – nothing made up. Try to use different answers if the person in front of you had the same first initial – which by the way is hard if you already have read their answers! You cannot use your own name for the boy/girl names.

1. What is your name? Alice
2. A 4 letter word: apes
3. A vehicle: automobile
4. A city: Apple Valley
5. A boy’s name: Aden
6. A girl’s name: Abigail
7. Non-Alcoholic drink: apple juice
8. An occupation: arborist
9. Something you wear: ankle socks
10. A celebrity: Angelina Jolie
11. A food: apples
12. Something found in a bathroom: antibacterial soap
13. Reason for being late: Abigail couldn’t find her soccer ball
14. Something you shout: Ahhhhh!
15. An animal: anteater
16. A body part: adam’s apple
17. Word to describe yourself: annoying or attractive (depending on who you are)

The Real Mitt Romney

I also bumped this post from 1/29 for my instapundit readers. Thanks Glenn again for a very fun unexpected surprise.

You MUST read this blog entry entitled “The Real Mitt Romney” by Candace Selima in California. It shows Mitt Romney giving selfless service to a family that had a burned down tree from a California fire. Wow, this article completely change my way of thinking. I am convinced that Mitt makes a wonderful presidential candidate and that he will be a remarkable President. Mitt may be the only candidate who is actually capable of leaving a legacy that hasn’t been given to government since the 80’s. Mitt may be the only presidential candidate willing to give anonymous service, (by wielding a shovel of all things) just because he is a Christian. Don’t we need someone like this for president?

Reading this story just gave me the last nip in the you know what to jump on Mitt’s band wagon. I think I am even going to ask to be a part of his campaign?

I watched the State of the Union address last night, and really enjoyed Mitt’s comments during the aftershow. I have been getting more informed about the Presidential election lately. Every day I love Mitt more and more. I am convinced that he is the new Reagan to cure our very sick economy. I also know because of Mitt’s life accomplishments (in government and out) that he will be able to handle pretty much whatever comes his way with success.

And, the last reason he has my vote:


I hope I won’t offend Ann Romney or my husband , but LOOK at this man…he will be the best looking president since JFK. I mean really, he gives JFK a run for his money, and the man unlike JFK is a faithful husband, father, and grandfather.

Holy cow. Do we have a winner or what?

I was listening to Rush earlier today and there was a byte from a Florida poll voter.

To summarize what he said, “I am NOT a Mormon, but what a lot of people do not know about Mormons is that they take care of people. Mitt has my vote because he is a Mormon. I know he will care about the people and that his religion teaches him to honor all religions.”

You can vote for whoever you would like, but whatever you do, go and read this story. It will inspire you, I promise.

I don’t know about the rest of you, but I am going to stay up all night tonight to hear the results from the Florida.

Does my man hate Mitt?

I bumped this post from 1/29 for my instapundit readers! – Thanks for the link, Mr. Reynolds.

Here is the stuff that I want from the Romney shop.

LG thinks that I am on some silly kick. I have been on the internet for a good part of the evening, joining Team Mitt, reading about the election, and sending a mass e-mail to all of my friends. I even gave a monetary donation to the campaign earlier. Surprisingly, LG isn’t as mad about the monetary donation (only because it was so small) as he is about the e-mail that I sent to his in box (just like I did for all of my gmail contacts) from The Mitt Romney page. He called me a spammer. He told me that I would get some backlash for sending out politically charged info. to EVERYONE in my outbox. I can’t wait to see what happens. I anticipate some drama people.

LG also warned me that if I kept talking about religion and politics so much I was going to lose all my blog readers. Well, as always, I do listen and process whatever LG tells me. And, right now, here on my blog, I want to tell LG that I love him and know that he is (sometimes) right. I don’t respect many people’s opinions more than I do LG’s.

But tonight, I respect Mitt Romney a whole lot! (not necessarily more than LG, but let’s just say that I don’t think I will ever have reason to campaign for LG to be the President of the United States.) This is not just some kick of mine. (I will admit that I tend to get obsessive about stuff sometimes) I take my blog seriously, and I am using it just this once to talk about something that I think is important. I didn’t just get on You Tube and watch the Romney Girl and get on some kick. I have been reading and researching for a week and I just want to share what I have concluded. My conclusion may not matter to any of you, but I am telling you anyway: Mitt is the man for change in America. I am sad that Mitt has lost the Florida primary, but hopeful that he will still prevail. We need Mitt so that we can stomp on Hillary Clinton. (How can anyone in this country vote for another Clinton to hold such a sacred office….didn’t Bill sacrilige it enough already?)

I am not afraid to blog about what I want, but I want you to all thank LG that I will try and contain my Mitt kick to my door to door Mitt knocking and not to my blog from here on out. Just in case you wondered, LG also supports Romney, but he isn’t the type to get in your face. Of course, you all know that opposites attract.

And, the main reason for this blog….LG, this is the stuff that I want for Valentine’s Day. As I have said before, I love the wishlist aspect of the blog. You can buy me the magnet bumper sticker (not the sticky one) the yard sign, and the buttons. And if you really want to splurge, I love this hoodie. And, once again, just so you all know, this is not a kick. I am serious. I am in for the long haul…all the way to The White House!

Tired?

My friend and I have been walking every day for about an hour. We have made a makeshift 1/4mile track around her house and yard and we let the kids run around and play while we crank out a sad 2 miles in an hour.

Valerie’s dog insists on walking with us every day. It is so funny because she is about 12 years old and she limps the whole way. Poor thing. The other day while observing the poor dog, I said to Valerie, “Maybe when the dog has a noticable difference in her limp, there will be a noticable difference in my bum.”

Thanks to Valerie for another great e-mail forward.
Man, Valerie, you should really figure out how to blog this stuff!
This is the text that went with the picture:

An old, tired-looking dog wandered into the yard. I could tell from
his collar and well-fed belly that he had a home.He followed me into the house, down the hall, and fell asleep in a corner. An hour later, he went to the door, and I let him out.The next day he was back, resumed his position in the hall, and slept for an hour. This continued for several weeks. Curious, I pinned a note to his collar: “Every afternoon your dog comes to my house for a nap.”The next day he arrived with a different note pinned to his collar:”He lives in a home with ten children — he’s trying to catch up on his sleep. Can I come with him tomorrow?”

Got $1,000?

I am going to try and figure out how to get a better picture of this.

But for now, know that it is an invitation to go to a fundraising breakfast with Mitt Romney this Saturday in Nashville!

Man, it isn’t often that I covet, but I really wish I had a $1,000 to give to this man, not just to shake his hand, but to help him keep America strong!

To Mike HuckaBee Gone

Thank you to instapundit for the link.

So, this is not a post about Mitt Romney, but about someone I like to refer to as HucakaBEE Gone.

This is the personal e-mail I sent to the Huckabee campaign headquarters this morning. It probably won’t do any good, but it felt good to get if off my chest!

“I think that if Mike Huckabee would get rid of his religious bias Southern bigotry, he would drop out and back Mitt Romney. If he would like to keep our nation as one nation under God, he would see that it will be for the best under God to have a conservative in office. By staying in the race, it is evident that all Hucakbee wants to do is help defeat Romney. Huckabee has no chance to win and as a Republican I am ashamed that Huckabee is really so selfish and crooked that he can’t force himself to do what is best for our God created country. God help us all. “

I AM SO FRUSTRATED WITH THIS MAN! I think he is taking bribery money from the devil himself, in the form of Blue bills or greed infested selfishness.

English Food & Football

If you didn’t read my last entry about “english ed and et“, you can read about what I am doing at Saxon.

This really is going to be so much fun!

According to saxon, here are some more true English terms:

Rubbish bin or bin ( Trash can)
Rubbish ( trash)
Sweets ( candy)
Crisps (chips)
Chips (French fries)

I have to say, I love the word rubbish. I am going to try and add the word to my frequently used vocabulary.

Of course I also love all the food terms. In America, I love to eat sweets, crisps and chips. Because I love these bad fatty foods, I guess I will have to continue worrying about losing a “stone in weight”. (Saxon, losing a stone in weight is also very English) Not that Americans don’t have more weight to lose collectively, but we lose ours in pounds, not stones.

On Saxon’s above entry, Mike Ball made this comment: (I thought I would include these in conjunction with the upcoming US SuperBowl)

Well there’s a few (Americanisms) I’ve come across…
Cleats – in the US are like football boots [ok, I can’t resist leaving an American reaction to football boots…that is funny..football boots…i am picturing NFL players running around in workboots or hiking boots)
Football in the UK is soccer in the US
Football in the US is American Football.

Then Mike adds the question: (do you even use your feet in American Football?) – I have to answer: American football players do sometimes use their feet, but only to run. Kickers (who have a woosy or whimpy reputation in American football are the only players to really use their feet to kick)

Other words that we supposedly mispronounce:
aluminium
tomato
schedule
irrevocably

I found it interesting that these four words, can also be associated with the upcoming Superbowl:
You cook your frozen pizza on an aluminium-lined pan. You have tomato sauce on your pizza, or you can throw tomatoes at the ref. when you don’t agree with his call. All football teams have a schedule and all football fans can be found saying, “I irrevocably decree that my team will win this Sunday.”

I don’t know what else to say about these 4 words except that people in America also differ in opinion on their pronunciation. Maybe you Englishman could give me your pronunciation guide? I would like to pronounce them like an Englishman from now on, just for fun.