I am white trash and I can’t be burned.

I am white trash.

I have admitted it before.

I teach my kids about it.

I get all giddy inside when I find reasons to think I am not as white trash as I thought.

I have bragged about embracing it.
Thanks to all ya’ll in the South, who helped me get there.

However, being white trash does not make me void of feelings.
It does not make give me permission to not try and be a better wife.
It does not make me NOT want for more out of myself.
It certainly doesn’t make me unloved.

So, if I am white trash, so be it.

But, you, whoever you are, that loves to call me white trash,
because you think it’s the most hurtful thing you can say.

First of all, you have to do better than that.
And second, I just want you to know one thing.

I know that God knows what you do and you will one day have to answer to Him.
Therefore, I don’t have to worry about it.

And do you know what else?
I love it when I have a church sign that is perfect for the moment.
You can’t touch me because I have sonscreen,
therefore I cannot be burned.

When you sit at your computer and spew forth vial insults anonymously, do you know what it says about you? You are a coward and you have issues.
Why are you obsessing over me?
And why do you feel it justified to kick any of God’s children, even if they are Mormon.

I would be white trash any given day over mean and hateful.
White trash people are some of the best people I know.
It’s the people who don’t admit their trashy parts that I worry about.
And the people who go around pointing fingers at other people for being trashy are especially special.
I poke fun. I speak my mind. I have opinions, sometimes they are wrong. Gratefully, there are people out there who have the guts to take it up with me in person because when they correct me in love (often on my blog) I often find myself wanting to change. And I am grateful when I see the error in my ways because this life is really just one big chance to improve really.

Deep inside I love people, I really do.
And that is why people love me in return.
Let me talk to you for 5 minutes,
I will try my darndest to understand you and I will find a reason to love you.
I probably already have.

Sorry for the rant today, my readers who come over for some funny, but it was merited and anonymous put me in bad mood which reflects on my writing.

Go ahead everyone, feel free to stand with me and admit just one part of your trashy selves.
It’s so liberating.

Today’s admission for this not so fun blogger:

My baby is walking around in a onsie that is covered in brown make-up stains.
I put it on her after getting it out of her drawer that way.
Yesterday after Abigail’s load of laundry was covered in ink stains out of the dryer,
I told her to just go ahead and fold her bras and underwear as nobody is gonna see the stains on her underwear.
I hope I will remember to tell her to wear the unstained ones next time she has a doctor’s appointment.

Oh, and if you happened to miss all the excitement and are wondering why the heck I am freaking out, make sure you read each and every comment by anonymous on this popular post.



  1. It is two o'clock and I am sitting here with no bra on, unshowered and in pjs (as are my kids), with a heating pad on my pulled back muscles eating Captain Crunch out of a measuring cup with handle because all the cereal bowls are in the dishwasher. Now if that is not white trash, I don't know what is. Except I used organic non-fat milk so that cancels out a little bit of the white trashiness doesn't it?

  2. I haven't washed my hair in 2 days because I just don't wanna. I just got it cut a few days ago, and its pretty short, so in my mind… it doesn't need to be washed everyday. I came to work with it dirty, way dirty, and I just don't care. My pants are too small, because I bought them at a second hand store because even though I can probably afford to buy new ones, I LIKE shopping at thrift stores, it makes me happy. My children may have had 8 showers all summer, because well, its summer and we just don't find it necessary to waste all that water. This, though it may not be much is only part of my white trashiness, seeing as how I am at work and have to be at least a little classy. I live in TN, and I embrace my “white trashiness”! I wouldn't trade it for all the “perfect” in the world!!

  3. Look at what I miss when I don't return to see all the anonymous comments. Whoa girl! Check you out. More responses and to what exactly?

    I am sorry that people just can't live with each other accepting each other how they are… Wow!

    I find it interesting that people are very brave when they are anonymous. If you want to say something… at least sign your name to it for heavens sake.


  4. Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind.
    — Dr. Seuss

    You're awesome, Chica!

  5. You know, it's good to let your white trash side come out every once in a while. Why, I'm even brave enough to go to the Walmart on the first of the month!

    I live in a cracker box house that for some reason can not be kept clean! My furniture has covers over them to keep off the cat hair-and the major faux paus-I have pictures of my family on the wall, WITH DUST. (a big no-no with the HGTV people).

    And you know what? They do make some pretty fancy trailers these days-the thought has crossed my mind that when I retire I might have to sell my house, buy some land, and relocate with my fancy trailer….

  6. Alice, Holy cow, what a nightmare. I want you to know that you are awesome. I love your blog and we are all a little white trash.

    Anonymous is a chicken poo drop. Have some guts and say it with your name behind it. Reminds me of the comments on KSL stories. Some people just have to much time on their hands. Some people are just sick!

    BTW: Did you see the news about the lady that was asked to leave Whole Foods because she was nursing?

  7. Alice I think everything about you is wonderful!!! You are so full of love and so beautiful inside and out!!! I can remember being a kid and having no power (no like an outage it was more like a can't pay the bill outage) and we ran an extension cord from our fridge to your house so our food wouldnt go bad! If that's not white trash I can't tell you what is! haha 😉 The Wills were my saviors my safe house my “normal” in my crazy sad child hood life!!! I love you all like family and I can not believe that someone could be so nasty to someone so wonderful!!! I am sorry!!! Keep your chin up because you are AMAZING!!!! ❤

  8. Alice, we miss you in tn. I learned to love you a lot and I learned a lot from you in the short time I was at your ward. Don't let anonymous get to you. If it was anybody worthwhile, they would step forward and say who they are. Simple as that. I love your blog an I did see the humor. 🙂

  9. Thank you all. You are each a gem. Every one of you!!

    I am left to wonder if the anonymous person who quotes Dr Seuss is the same one who tied me to a tree to kick the crap out of me.

    If so, she/he definitely needs a psychiatric eval.

    I kind of hope it is the same person because that may mean that they are not just totally vile and some good medication might make them into a happy person again.

    Rock on white trash friends.

  10. Your mom called yesterday-so glad to hear from her. I told her of your boob blog entry-we had a great laugh. She told me of the lady that was asked to leave the store because of nursing her baby. Our society is whacko- you can run around town in scanty clothes that show, boob, butt, midriff, etc. but heaven forbid you nurse a child in public-whacko!

  11. So, I guess if my husband ever gets around to publishing his funny comments, he should probably not use anonymous as his pseudonym. 🙂

    Sorry that you were so badly attacked. I guess some people haven't figured out how to laugh.
    I feel sorry for them. And very happy that you have retained your sense of humor through the storm. 🙂

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