Do you want to know what I think is totally sour?
I hate it when my friends send me e-mails that ruin a very real enjoyable part of my life.

I always get a lemon in my water when I go out to a restaurant. I can’t stand the taste of old yucky pipes.

I won’t paste the forwarded e-mail here, but let’s just say that one of my friends decided it was necessary to tell me that restaurant lemons are full of germs.
Do you know how I am dealing with the news? Well, I am basically acting as if I never received the news. I have reasoned it away so that I can continue to enjoy my eating out experience.

How do I know those people are really scientists? And how can they say that just because the lemons are bacterial at Harvard area restaurants it means that it is the same scenario in Knoxville? Besides, I am never going to visit Harvard anyway, and I am sure that the waitresses’ fingernails in Knoxville are cleaner than those uppidity college students.

So, people, please think before you send me an e-mail. Some people are just trying to live every day anxiety free. I just don’t want to know these trivial things. I have never gotten sick from a restaurant lemon before. I dont want to worry every time I sit on a public toilet seat. I want to take my kids to McDonald’s to play in the balls syringe free. I want to check to see if someone left their change in a vending machine or public phone (haven’t seen one of those in a long time – are they still even around?)

You get the picture. No more sour e-mails, please!



  1. When I was a kid, I can remember pulling hard gum out from under countertops or restaurant tables and chewing it until it got soft again. If it doesn’t kill you, it only makes you stronger. Germs aren’t so bad. Ask Missy!!!!

  2. Okay, that gum comment–EWW!!I hate those emails too! The make me so mad. How about the ones where they say be careful at gas stations at night because scary guys will hide under the car and grab you when you get back in, and then cut your chest off. (Gross, but i really did hear that one.) Thanks for making my gas getting experiences even worse!

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