Friendship

How to be loved.

Even skinny girls can be bribed with homemade bread.

It’s so nice to be thanked in such a worthy fashion as a blog entry. I have rarely been so flattered Ashley. I will make bread for you anytime. Especially if it means that you may gain a few pounds, so that I can feel justified in my dress size. he he

Sex education

Here is a conversation that recently occurred between Abigail and one of her church friend’s.

Abigail’s friend reported the conversation to her mother, who reported it to me. It’s a good thing that Abigail’s friend was already informed, if you know what I mean.

Abigail said pointing to the lingerie at the local Target: “Do you know what those little nighty things are for? They are for, you know, when, hmmm…hmmmm.hmmm. You can only dress immodestly like that for your husband when you get married.”

The un-named friend who will stay anonymous was silent and stunned.

Abigail continued, “Yeah, my mom and dad have done that at least 98 or 100 times.”
The friend’s jaw then dropped – with some force, I should add.

Abigail unaware of the friend’s shock, then made sure that her friend was informed completely, “If it would have worked every time, my mom and dad would have had 98 or 100 kids.”

This is me. I’m taking a bow. Don’t you think that our sex ed is getting through to our kids?

And, please don’t tell you children that they aren’t allowed to play with Abigail anymore. We have just taught her not to be embarassed about the topic.

I promise I will have a talk with her about what she is saying to other kids.

Or, if you are too scared to have the talk to your own children, feel free to send them Abigail’s way. I think that she could do a very thorough job, maybe even better then you could do yourself.

Un-scary monsters

Don’t you think your kids need some.

Check out Cally’s newest creation.

I think if I win, I will give one away on my blog to see if I can boost my readership with shameless freebies too.

Because you all know I ain’t makin anything near as good as Cally can.

A pig that flies

It’s weird news Saturday.

This link is for Cally.

Because we all love the flying pig over her mantle.

It’s the favorite choice of artwork for LG and all of his old friends. Who are….you guessed it…getting very old.

And I think that this is Conan on the right of Matt and Scott on the left of LG. Am I right?

Lori…Cally…do I win…do I win?

If I am, I deserve a prize.

How about a flying pig.

Because the day that I can tell the twins apart every time, pigs really will fly.

Playing games

We love to play games with our family and our friends.

Risk is one of my personal favorites. And, ask anyone in the family. I rule at risk. Why anyone thinks that a woman can’t be the head of the military is beyond me. I want to rule the world! Oh…hmm…I may have answered my own question there.

Anyhow, back to the post. In our family, we especially like to play cards.

The conversations and laughs that you can have while playing cards with friends are unparalleled.

We really thought it was funny when a new friend who had moved from out West was caught saying the great southern phrase “you is” during a card game a few months back. ie…You is up next. Translation…it’s your turn.

A couple of weeks ago we were again playing cards with some friends. I threatened LG that if he gave me that point I didn’t want that he would not be getting “any” that night.

He took mercy on me. Isn’t he so romantic?

Later as we were going to bed he reminded me that he had been kind. You know…in a hint hint kind of way. I said, “You have got to be kidding me. Your move in cards had nothing to do with my threat. We both know that the only reason you didn’t give me that point was because you had a heart and you had to play it.”

LG’s response: “So, I had a heart, doesn’t that count for something?”

“Yeah, I guess it would, if the heart was actually beating and not sitting in your hand having to be played.”

Calico strikes again.

Cally is having a giveaway.

Go and leave a comment, win a cute bag,

and help her surpass me at yet one more thing: blog readership.

It’s o.k. I’m secure.

Ten Virgins with Children

No, it wasn’t immaculate. It was a church play. It was fun.

Guess who was the one with the real Pashmina?

Yeah, that would be me.

A few years back, my sister, Shannon, brought it back for me from Italy.

I told her how beautiful it was and kindly thanked her.
I thought to myself, “When is simple old me ever going to wear something so elegant?”

“It’s a darn scarf. I am never going to wear a scarf!

Why couldn’t she bring me some wine?”

(not really, because you all know I can’t drink that)

So, I tucked the soft and pretty scarf away for a completely improbable day in the future when I would magically transform into a woman with some taste.

Shannon’s husband has schooled her in the ways of refinement.

I was not so lucky.

I had to teach my husband to match the color of his shoes to his belt.

And that there are some occasions besides church that it is appropriate to wear something other than jeans or basketball shorts, and a T-shirt.

I grew up in a beach town and LG grew up in a County school in Tennessee.

So, you can imagine that when it comes to the subject of fashion,

we are both somewhat challenged.

But, wow, last week,

I got to pretend that this mother of 3 was not only a virgin,

but that I was also the coolest woman in the play.

You see, I had a real Pashmina.

I felt like a million bucks as the other virgins salivated in envy.

On the way home, I promptly called my sister to give her the much delayed appropriate thanks. You know the kind where there is almost groveling involved.

I somehow had to make up for my lack of excitement from my first little thanks.
I told her, “There’s nothing like the jealousy of another woman to make you want to have a little more culture in your life.”

I have to tell you that, for me, the sense of belonging to the high life was fleeting.

As soon as I got home, the scarf went right back in the bottom of my drawer.

We wouldn’t want my kids to find it, would we?

It may somehow end up in their dress up box

with the fluffy elf costume and Styrofoam knight’s armor.

Now, all I can do is hope that our church Christmas party

will be the kind that we all dress up and go back to Jerusalem.

I would love to have a chance to NOT gloat.

Now that I know what a Pashmina is,

I may be able to sensor my pride and play it off,

instead of rubbing it in the face of commoners.

Crafty Friends…

…are the best!

Cally created this.

Go to her blog to see all of the other amazing things that she can do.

I almost died when there was something just for me on her blog.

Who knew blogging friends were so good at surprises?

I cannot wait to get my hands on the original.

Friends do get a good discount, right?

I must say that I am so happy to have finally found something that

really portrays just how cute my girls really are.

And, as if this wasn’t enough.

Look at what came in the mail today.

Kristen made up this sweetest piece of recreated children’s art.

She mentioned this medium on her blog in reference to my post about Bella’s art.

Kristen also has a crafty blog.

This is just so beautiful. It reminds me of something that I would find at Cally’s house.

Neener, neener. neener Cally, you will have to make your own.

I love being surprised. It doesn’t happen often.

Thanks for thinking of us girls.

You have both motivated me to decorate the girls’ room for the first time in their lives.

Now all I have to do is wait for Valerie to sew those bedspreads.

Would anyone like to offer to paint and/or make some curtains?

Really, thank you so much Cally and Kristen.

I am absolutely speechless. And you know that never happens to me.

Honorable, huh?

I don’t know if honorable is a word I would use to describe myself, but it feels good to get a prize.

Cally and I both received honorable mentions by the Scribbit July Write-Away contest.

It is awesome to share the honor with the creative master we call Calico. I think it makes my prize seem even greater; somebody has put me as an equal to the domestic queen.

So, thank you to the judge, Damelsfly at growingalife.

And, just a sidenote, my greatest honor was Michelle Mitchell telling me that she loved my post title, Earning My Underoos. I am all about the post title.