Dear Sir South,
Do you think you could do me, your favorite Western transplant, a favor?
Can you please invite some of my favorite features of Western living
to come and visit from time to time?
I would be much obliged, sir.
I just can’t be taking 2,000 mile trips whenever I need a fixin’.
I know I ought not complain, but I so miss things from my native land.
I love the you with most of my heart now.
And, I surprised even myself that I missed some things about you while I was away.
But, there are just so many joys of life that are absent here.
I don’t think it would be a terrible crime to let some of those things in.
I know this Jack in the Box looks scary,
but what harm could he really do while he driving that convertible
and cooking me up some 2 tacos for 99 cents at the same time?
And, I know we have as many icees as we could ever want,
but don’t you think it is time they had a little competition?
I think that some slurpees from 7-11 would be the perfect threat/compliment
to our only two flavors: coke and cherry.
Besides I am a Mormon and I can’t even drink the coke flavor.
And that cherry stuff is getting a little old.
It’s as if you’ve never heard of the flavors pina colada or orange or grape or
Mountain Dew or Dr Pepper or berry or
…..well, I am sure that you are getting the picture.
This is called real Mexican food.
It is a slice of heaven.
You have not tasted the perfection of combined flavors
until you have tried this mix of pineapple and shrimp!
I know we have some Mexicans living here…
don’t you think we could sneak them some recipes
and give them a loan to help them open up shop?
This is called a covered bus stop.
I know I NEVER ride the bus, so this seems like an odd request, but
it just makes me feel better to see people have a nice comfortable shelter while they wait.
I’m not even going to mention the sidewalk
because you already know how I feel about its absence here.
A cactus. This is the one thing that I really don’t have to have.
I just thought that I would add it in for a good measure.
I know that we have a Waffle House,
but do you think that they could somehow hire my dad
and pay him enough to actually make him move out here.
I just love his fried eggs and toast.
Thank you sir.
You know where to find me.
I will anxiously be awaiting your reply.