I totally don’t get it. There are women out there who have dedicated whole blogs to their clothes. It’s so very strange to me.
I thought I should try it, to see if I could catch the bug.
I first give you two views. You always have to pose in every possible position you know.
Read more for the backside view.
The backside.
This is what I look like with
the things that matter most.
And it ain’t the clothes.
Just in case you were wondering.
I sure do love my beautiful Bella.
She is my best accessory.
And baptized.
Guess what? I paid $3 at Savers thriftstore for this fabulousness.
The outfit is $3, not the daughter, just in case you were confused.
And if you add the 10 months of pregnancy and 10 hours of labor, and 8 years of mothering to the complete package, I think I am coming out pretty much ahead of all the other ladies.
Check out I’m a thriftaholic. I do actually like looking at what people can put together for cheap or free.
But we all know my outfit wasn’t cheap. Having and raising babies costs more than all of our clothes combined.
On Sunday, my hubby, LG got up to give a talk. He was as cute as usual; I love hearing him speak. He never does it publicly unless he is assigned. Following, our three girls, me, and the ward’s Young Women’s choir, he got a little choked up as he said that good women are a theme in his life.
After all, he is the dad of four beautiful daughters and the husband of a pretty hard to handle wife.
He then told a funny story. Hit the read more. You don’t want to miss this one. It’s about the kid shown above. And football.
I never blogged this when it happened so I was glad for the reminder found in my hubby’s brain.
About a year ago, LG was serving as a Scout leader. Our time was always precious, and so LG took Bella with him to a Wednesday night activity. The boys played football and they were great to include Bella. She loved it and was talking up the game the whole way home.
She then begged for a football for her birthday. LG went out and got a football for her. Usually the gift buying is up to me, so it was a pretty big deal. Bella was so excited, tore into the package, and entreated her dad to “play now daddy.”
Before they could go out to the yard so that LG could show me that Bella has some pretty good throwing potential, Bella ran with the ball back to her room.
When she came bouncing back down the hall, I think LG had a taste of reality.
She handed LG the ball, which she had sprayed with adhesive glitter. “Look dad, I made it sparkle.”
I love that girl. And I am secretly jealous that I never played football. I didn’t want to be one of “those” girls, but I sure do love the sport. I think I could have been good at it.
It would be a dream come true to see Bella succeed with football. And I don’t care what you really think. If you ever see her, you better tell her how cool it is that we just signed her up to play in our local flag football league.
Let’s just keep her balls glittery. Just to be safe.
Recently, when pressed on the issue, I decided that magic is my favorite word.
Magic. It describes how I feel about the love I share with my husband. It perfectly defines anything that is too cool to be described. It is the noun that says how I feel about my kids. Magic. Is it one of those cool words that is not only a noun, but a verb too!
I magic’d on over to her house in two seconds flat. While playing basketball, he magic’d around the other player, all the way to the hoop
Months ago, two of my magical children decided that JK Rowling missed a few vital spells when she wrote her masterpiece Harry Potter. How she missed these in all seven books of her series I do not know. But without further delay, it is time for all the spells to be known.
And because I am so looking forward to my upcoming Harry Potter extravaganza I find it a perfect time to share:
Freeze a Thing Polka Dot A Kus Dogga Loc Us Go Away Kus Go To Sleep Us Throw Up Ist Zip Lips (You know with this mom, they need this one every day) Water Cause Fire Cause
Doggalocus is my favorite. Here is one of my kids’ favorite YouTube videos of all time:
Just now, while watching the video Me to Abigail: Why do you think Dumbledore is naked? Abigail: (laughing) I don’t know, because he is gay.
Yes, we are all about the magic around here. We know every bit of Harry Potter trivia known to mankind. And, we even make up our own.
Comebackacus. Readalottamore. Lovethisbloga.
What’s your best attempt at a vital spell? I was thinking laundrydonanow.
Oh, and I need your opinion? Should LG and I dress up like
Arthur and Molly Weasley?
or Vernon and Petunia Dursley?
Or maybe LG could be Vernon and I could Molly. Oh the scandal, we would be at the party.
There she is. It’s the best picture I could get with my little camera. Like I said, even though we arrived plenty early, the only spots left were in the back. Waaaaay back.
The kids loved the street vendors.
Caroline wanted a doll really bad.
Caroline can’t wait for the music to start.
She’s got her dance on.
Oh, and do you remember the people watching we did last time? And I told you that LG and I have a hard time understanding up to date fashion? Check out this guy’s butt. I have no idea why he thinks that skinny jeans can be worn like a gangster. We got shot after shot of his underwear throughout the night. I wonder if he would even care if he knew we were checking him out.
Glad we had something to make us laugh while we were waiting for the music to start.
So, on Saturday night at 10 pm, LG and I were walking out of the temple. Yes, this temple. How amazing is that?
From our view up on the hill, there were fireworks going off all over the valley. It was absolutely breathtaking.
LG informed me that The Stadium of Fire would be happening any moment. For some reason, in my mind, I thought that it was going to happen on the actual 4th.
I decided we should hurry home and find a spot to watch the fireworks.
To my dismay, when we got home, the kids had no interest whatsoever in breaking away from the TV.
I pried their bodies and eyes from the tube, and made them pile in the car. I was not about to miss the fireworks, especially after this post.
As we drove down State street (Utah Valley’s version of Knoxville’s Kingston Pike) I was overwhelmed by so many US flags lit up along the road. The patriotism of Utahns is not only efficacious but admirable. People either love America here or they display their stars and stripes to compete with all the other businesses. And by all, I mean ALL. Everyone has a flag. Everyone.
The kids were grumbling during the whole drive. Why do we have to do this? We don’t want to watch the fireworks. Let’s just go back home. wah wah wah.
I told them to keep their eyes on the flags and to sing along. I started loud and strong:
This land is your land, this land is my land….nothing but my voice. Oh beautiful, for spacious skies….again, nothing from the back seats. She’s a grand old flag, she’s a high flying flag….”Shut up, mom.” God bless America….”Really, Alice, do you have to sing so loud?” said quietly by LG so the kids wouldn’t hear; I’m assuming he didn’t want to totally stomp on my love for country. I’m proud to be an American….(even louder than before)
By this time the kids were all horrified and hating their mother and her motherland.
And guess what? By the time we got to Provo’s end of State from our northern end of Orem’s State, all we could see was traffic. The traffic was heading towards us, not with us.
Yes, I hate to tell you, Murphy’s Law is still in full effect, and has no respect for a nation’s holiday celebrated two days early or a very loud and song singing patriotic mother. We had missed the fireworks.
More grumbling, complaining, and whining ensued.
LG and I were not about to miss a good opportunity for teaching our kids.
Me: “Knock it off you guys, at least we still live in a country that has firework celebrations.” LG: “There are a lot of kids in this world that would die to be in this car right now.” Me: “Or to even have a car.” LG: “Or to have a mother.” Abigail: “Not if their mom sang like that.” Me: “Especially if their mom sang like that.” LG: “Yeah, think of all the kids out there that don’t live a country where they have mothers.” (O.k. I just made that up.) I think he really said, “You should be grateful for a mother who can sing, and cook, and do laundry.”
Abigail: “At least parents in other countries would be smart enough NOT to drive their family into the middle of the traffic jam, especially when their family missed the show.” Me: “Well, at least there are other Americans with cars.” LG: “And at least your mom can see in the dark and drive.” Bella: “Mom, STOP!” (I admit it I barely missed that car in front of me.)
Anyhow, the conversation went on for a bit. And there was no chance of it stopping. [In fact, it can still be happening if you want to comment what your best line would have been to the kids.]
Quietly, ever so quietly and with her Gold sense of perfect timing, Sophia chimes in. She must have looked up from reading Harry Potter for long enough to gather her sisters’ desperation for winning at the “Be glad you are American” game.
What does she say? Brace yourself.
“Man, I wished I lived in Canada.”
Seven words. That’s all it takes to make a total complete disaster of an evening all worth it. Good one Phia. Good one. Average Americans should really consider more than 2.5 kids; they make everything more fun.
I told the kids that if they would sing their favorite patriotic song at the top of their lungs, then I would indeed STOP.
Abigail was loud and proud. I wonder where she gets that from? “I’m a yankee doodle dandy. A yankee doodle, do or die.”
I am sure that all that traffic surrounding us was so grateful that they didn’t miss the real entertainment of the evening as I rolled all windows down.
And If I do say so myself those frostys from Wendy’s were the perfect consolation prize for everyone involved. Nothing like good old American food.
And when the song Firework came on the radio. I promise you, not just momma was singing. Even dad got in on the falsetto. Perfection, pure perfection.
We didn’t miss a thing. The fireworks had been going off in our car all night long.
And guess what? Utah loosened their firework laws this year. We can now shoot off 150 foot rockets from our very own neighborhoods. And on the real 4th of July, the sky was lit up in every direction we could turn. Our culdesac of fire was a billion times better than their Stadium of Fire. Fireworks in the sky on all four sides, coming from everywhere.
If you don’t feel like reading my lead up, just scroll to the bottom and hit the read more button to get the skinny on entering into the July contest for a $20 gift-card of your choice.
The neighbor girls keep telling this really lame joke about a Chinese man who gets to marry a princess because unlike the American or the Italian, he was able to keep his camel from pooping in the dessert voyage. “Me stick cork up camel’s bum.” Then all the kids roar in laughter. I remain dumbfounded.
When I was a kid we had a joke that we thought was HILARIOUS. It went something like this: A doctor, a police officer, and a lawyer were captured on a deserted island by savages. The savages tied them to a tree and told them that they would be dead by sundown. They said, “We’re savages, but we’re civilized savages, so before we kill you, we’ll tell you what we are going to do to you. We are going to drink all your blood. We are going to use your bones for jewelry. And we are going to use your skin to build canoes.” Then they granted all three one last wish. The doctor requested a knife and slit his wrists and bled to death. The police officer requested a rope and hung himself. The lawyer requested a fork. He proceeded to poke himself all over and resiliently proclaimed, “To heck with your canoes.”
Hundreds of times, this joke was retold and every joke teller was guaranteed a laugh by all listeners. Nothing like that to encourage a girl to grow up and write on a blog that tries to make people laugh.
So I got an idea. My contest for July is a joke sharing contest. It is up to you to share a joke that you think will make my husband and children laugh the hardest. You can take it off the internet or give me the best you had as a child, but whoever makes them laugh the loudest and longest, will be proclaimed my winner.
The one catch is that the joke must be about three people. The american, italian and german. Or the Bishop, Relief Society President, or primary kid. Or the mom, dad, and grandma….
And get this! If you win, you will receive a $20 gift-card of your choice from me.
You have the whole month to enter here. You can even tell your friends, if you don’t mind some healthy competition. Leave your joke in the comments. Make sure you think hard before you do, as you are only allowed one entry.You have until midnight July 31, 2011.
Come back here on August 1, 2011 and I will post all the jokes but the winning joke and it’s submitter will be featured.. I will also tell you what new contest there will be for August.
Bella just said, “I like this contest.”
Sophia said, “Yeah, it’s going to make us laugh.”
That’s my girls! I really hope you guys aren’t going to disappoint them.
We love Justin Beiber around here. Sophia especially loves it when we tease her about him. I am not really in a writing mood, so I am sharing with you things I find interesting on youtube. This female version of Justin Beiber rocks house. I believe her original song is only funny when she performs it.
I overheard another funny conversation at our house the other day. It has nothing to do with Justin Beiber. Unless showcasing that my kids are so beyond celebrity worship counts?
I was recently asked to work with the Cub Scout at church. Yes, the Lord and the church as a whole both have a great sense of humor. The mother of 4 girls is, of course, the perfect choice to be a Cub Scout Den Leader. Needless to say, I’ve been trying to psych myself up about it.
Abigail turned to me at church when they announced my newest calling and said, “Mom, it looks like you are finally going to get your boys.”
So, later that day, I hear this:
Abigail to Bella: Bella, you are gonna have an in with the boys your age now. Bella: Yeah, I know. Sweet. Sophia: It’s too bad mom doesn’t get to work with the boys your age Abigail. Abigail: No, I don’t want mom to work with the boys my age, I want her to work with the Eagle Scouts. Sophia: Why? Abigail: Those older boys are cuter. 14 and 15 year olds are just right. Sophia: But the Eagles Scouts are older than that. Abigail: Even better.
And I thought for a minute that Abigail was just vying for the more driven boys. She could care less about Eagle Scout status. She just wants those older boys.
I love eavesdropping on them.
I am predicting a day in the near future
that I will remind Abigail that she only wants an Eagle Scout.
Gotta keep that conversation at the top of my trick bag.
It may be very handy when LG and I don’t approve a certain somebody.
Back to the original story. I am happy to now understand more fully why exactly Justin Beiber is irrelevant at our house. Apparently my girls only want the Eagle Scouts.
I guess that’s why I have to work in Cub Scouts. Somebody has to start these boys on the right path. They have to earn the Eagle to be worthy of my girls. Or be 4 years older. Precisely why Justin Beiber would never stand a chance. How old is that kid? 8?
alice w. gold 