Month: April 2008

The more you *art

As I have told you before, we weren’t allowed to say the far* word while growing up. That is why I called my writing contest a stinkin’ contest, and not a *art contest. (That is just for you mom, now don’t read ahead because I am about to offend you)

I have managed to get out from under the control (and manners) of my parents, so I can now say fart. And, I can say that I was so happy to read all of your fart stories. Passing gas is indeed a funny thing, even if only a few of you entered my contest.

Many of you, misunderstood the contest rules (I will forgive you this first time, since a lot of you are new bloggers, but next time I will only consider those who actually post the story on their own blog AND leave me a comment with the link) I feel like I am forgetting an entry, but because everyone didn’t leave me a comment on my post, I may have inadvertently missed your link here. – Sorry, if that is you – please let me know and I will update)

A HUGE THANKS to all of you participants: (I so enjoyed reading your funny stories)

Renee with her Oliver/Nanny story. (just in a comment)

Chrys with her first fart while dating story. (also in a comment)

I really enjoyed everyone’s stories, but I chose the winner by who made me laugh out loud the hardest and longest.

And the winner is SHEILA.

Why? Because her story so could be something that would happen to me. If you wonder what I am talking about, you will have to read her story. (And, not to discourage future participants, but I have to admit that I can be biased towards the blogger who is the most faithful commenter)

The runner up is Jarrett. His story made me laugh the 2nd hardest. But, even if I did laugh the hardest on his story, I must admit I just can’t pick Jarrett the winner. I have a HUGE conscience that makes me feel really bad for that poor kid on the bus that he let take the wrath for his own flatulent fuel…poor guy, he is probably still in therapy to this day! Nonetheless, it’s a funny story.

So, congratulations Sheila. I guess I will be mailing a whoopy cushion to your friend who inspired your story. And, I am sure it will be one of the most proud moments of her life! You know, besides the time that she pooped her pants at the store while trying to out fart her hubby.
Sheila – e-mail me at alice.w.gold@gmail.com with her name and address and I promise to get her prize out within the next week.

Little People
And look and what I won from the greatest crafty blog out there!
Cally is a mad woman. She made this one REALLY hard.
I am proud to announce that I guessed her 7 Brides for 7 Brothers correctly.

And, even though, my stinkin contest prize is so, well, stinky
compared to Cally’s handcrafted little people,
I will shortly declare one of you the winner….stay tuned…I am still working on the post.

Thou Shalt Not Murmur
When no matter what, I can’t force myself to write, I shall post church signs.
(And when you people out West have bad blogging days,
I would really like to see what you come up with for interesting church signs)


So, my life is out of control.
Living the gospel consumed every waking moment and
even many of the sleeping ones last week.
After the weekend, I thought I would be rested….
And, I admit that I was mad that my husband and I didn’t get (nor still haven’t gotten) 2 minutes to ourselves to celebrate the good bar news.
(I mean you think after 10 years of married college life and still succeeding at having three children , we would have figured out how to steal away 2 darn minutes?)
So, what did I do in response to our craziness?
I had a weak moment and murmured to a friend this morning.
So, what did God do in response to my murmuring?
He took away those protective “your car is 10 years old angels” and he let my minivan die!
Man, I should have read these church signs more carefully last week
and been happy with our lives of service and not angry and resentful.
So, yes, I am going to learn from my mistake.
Instead of saying, “Holy CRAP what am I going to do this week without my car?”
I am going to choose to say, “Wow, God is so good to me. I am so grateful to have one car that both my husband and I can share this week. What would I do without that one car to carpool my kiddies, my hubby, and myself to ALL the places I need to go in preparation for the Ward Picnic I am in charge of on Friday?…Oh, I am so blessed to have that one little car.”

Walk and Walk and Walk

What do you need to feed your pets (or your kids for that matter) to ensure that they will always come home?

When I was in Kindergarten I walked home the 2 miles from school. I thought I could go and see my friend’s house and be back to catch the bus in time. So, when I got back to the school and discovered EVERYONE to be gone, I did what any reasonable 5 year old would do….I walked home. (I may have even been 4 at the time)

And there are advanatages to being part of a large family…it seemed that even though I arrived 3 hours late, no one even noticed. Talk about empowering…I learned at an early age that I could arrive wherever my feet would take me.

Tears of Joy
I now have a very intimate connection to this scripture:

John 16:20
Verily, verily, I say unto you, That ye shall weep and lament, but the world shall rejoice: and ye shall be sorrowful, but your sorrow shall be turned into joy.
Here is the name of my husband on the list of those who passed the TN Bar.
G
SHAHERYAR SHER GILL
JENNIFER LAUREN GILLIS
AUTUMN LYNNE GILLMORE
REBECCA BISSON GOBER
LEGRAND GOLD
ANTHONY BRADLEY GRAY
ANTHONY NICHOLAS GRECO
DOUGLAS SCOTT GRISWOLD
SAMANTHA KAY GROSLAND
JORDAN MITCHELL GWIAZDON

Here is the picture of me in the car, driving with my knee, talking on my cell phone, crying tears of relief and joy, while simulatenously capturing the moment for my blog.

P.S. I am seriously considering re-naming my blog to “My Life in My Minivan”

Only six words

If you only had six words to describe your life what would they be? I loved Yvonne’s memoir post. I had to play along even though I wasn’t tagged. (You see everyone, this is how tags really should be..no pressure)

A life of laughter and repentance.

Yeah, that is the best I could come up with. I guess I really am not funny and my blog will never be famous…oh well. But seriously, I do repent all of the time, and I laugh all of the time. Do you think that those have some correlation?

A Southern Sky
Here was my view on the way home last Saturday evening.
This pic was taken through my windshield, so sorry for the quality.
I tried to stick my head out the window, but because we were going down the
interstate it didn’t quite work. (Don’t worry Faye, for once, I wasn’t driving.)

When I see the sun descending through the clouds like this,
I can’t help but feel the love of my Father in Heaven.
It is as if the clouds parted just so that I would take notice.

I love the lyrics from the song “Anyone Up There Who Love Me?” by an LDS artist named Michael McClean. Listen if you must.
A mother declares, while climbing the stairs, “Anyone up there who loves me?”
Her kids are outside, so no one replies, unexpectedly tears well up inside.

The last time he called, he said to them all, “Anyone up there who loves me?”
“I hate it down here, this time of the year, but I promise I’ll be home soon.”

That was a lovers promise, Heaven could not allow,
but he’s found a way to be with her somehow.

She sits on the stair, and whispers a prayer, “Anyone up there who loves me?”

Then soft like the wind, His love rushes in, gently answering I love you.

A Korean Kid

No one but me was that entertained with LG’s version of Hey Jude, but everybody has got to love a Korean kid who can’t sing his l’s. Cute!

This video is in honor of meeting my new niece, Lily (or Riry, as they say it in Korea) for the first time. My sister in law Amy and her husband welcomed sweet Lily into all of our lives almost exactly a year ago. And, she is a fireball. It has been so fun to spend time with her in the past few days as her and Amy just arrived into the States.