Southern Living

Dear Sir South,
Dear Sir South,
Do you think you could do me, your favorite Western transplant, a favor?
Can you please invite some of my favorite features of Western living
to come and visit from time to time?
I would be much obliged, sir.
I just can’t be taking 2,000 mile trips whenever I need a fixin’.
I know I ought not complain, but I so miss things from my native land.
I love the you with most of my heart now.
And, I surprised even myself that I missed some things about you while I was away.
But, there are just so many joys of life that are absent here.
I don’t think it would be a terrible crime to let some of those things in.
For instance,

I know this Jack in the Box looks scary,
but what harm could he really do while he driving that convertible
and cooking me up some 2 tacos for 99 cents at the same time?

And, I know we have as many icees as we could ever want,
but don’t you think it is time they had a little competition?
I think that some slurpees from 7-11 would be the perfect threat/compliment
to our only two flavors: coke and cherry.
Besides I am a Mormon and I can’t even drink the coke flavor.
And that cherry stuff is getting a little old.
It’s as if you’ve never heard of the flavors pina colada or orange or grape or
Mountain Dew or Dr Pepper or berry or
…..well, I am sure that you are getting the picture.

This is called real Mexican food.
It is a slice of heaven.
You have not tasted the perfection of combined flavors
until you have tried this mix of pineapple and shrimp!
I know we have some Mexicans living here…
don’t you think we could sneak them some recipes
and give them a loan to help them open up shop?

Western Bacon Cheeseburgers….I guess they will have to stay in the West.
Boo hoo.
This is called a covered bus stop.

I know I NEVER ride the bus, so this seems like an odd request, but
it just makes me feel better to see people have a nice comfortable shelter while they wait.
I’m not even going to mention the sidewalk
because you already know how I feel about its absence here.

This is what we call red clay. It’s beautiful in its own way.
A cactus. This is the one thing that I really don’t have to have.

I just thought that I would add it in for a good measure.
I know that we have a Waffle House,

but do you think that they could somehow hire my dad
and pay him enough to actually make him move out here.
I just love his fried eggs and toast.
Thank you sir.
You know where to find me.
I will anxiously be awaiting your reply.
Alice Gold

NO HOT DOGS!!!
How in the world do they ever expect to make a profit?
Everyone wants a hot dog while they wait for their brake work.


On the other side of the sign, it reads:

No beer.
No lottery.
No hot dogs.
Being a good Christian, I understand the no beer and no lottery thing.
But hot dogs…isn’t that supposed to be safe for Christians?
Since when do we have to have a Kosher diet?

Native American Cuisine


In the West there is something called a Navajo Taco. For lack of a better description, it is kind of a mix between a taco, a Pita sandwich, and a scone. And even though I somehow just managed to make them sound very scary, Navajo Tacos are very good and filling. We are sad that we haven’t eaten one in years. We have only Petro’s in the south. I suppose that is as close as we get to a Native American Cuisine. I guess all the Confederates scared all the Natives away long ago.

Well, as part of our trip out west, it was our goal to eat every Western cuisine that we miss while living in the South. We hadn’t really mentioned a Navajo taco, but whenever we saw a place that offered anything we can only get out West we stopped. We were constantly on the lookout for our favorites. (remembered or not)

After spending a day at The Grand Canyon, we immediately got on the road. We were in a hurry to get to my mom and dads. We had not eaten lunch and were starving, but figured we would see something on the way and would save time by eating in the car. We wrongly suspected we could find food on the road cheaper than we could in the Canyon. We ended up bi passing the only little town that would have anything to eat, and gassed up in the middle of nowhere. The trip turned into hours and we were well into dinner time.
The only thing we passed on the road were these Navajo Shops where the Native American tribe members sell their jewelry, pottery and such. There was a new shop about every 10 miles. They all looked exactly the same and seemed to market and sell the exact same items.
Now I know you all already realize that LG has an MBA and is always looking for good business opportunities. We were all getting hungrier and crankier by the second. Finally LG turned to me and in desperation exclaimed, “You would think that some of these Navajos would start selling some tacos.”
And, that, ladies and gentlemen, gives you the quick wit I live with on a daily basis. LG needs to start his own blog that features his humor. He’s so much funnier than I could ever hope to be. I am so happy to have a husband that has never let me down on his promise to make me laugh every day.

Have It Your Way

Thanks to an old friend, Jen Guthrie, for a really funny piece of entertainment.

I was really happy to find Jen’s new blog.

I haven’t talked to her in years. And her and Paul are crazy funny.

I know that I am going to be in trouble for dissing on the South again, but I have to tell you something that I noticed on our vacation out west.

The customer service in Utah was just so much better than what we get here.

Do you think it’s because Mormons aim to please?

Or maybe because today’s kids just don’t really care?

Next time I am going to keep my order simple and see if I can get some service with a smile.

The Foundation for a Better Life
I love these billboards. They are brought to you from an organization called The Foundation for A Better Life. I can’t tell you how many accidents I have barely missed while cricking me neck on the interstate trying to read the fine print. Not to mention trying to photograph.
Love these….plan to try and get more for your view.
And, I plan to live by the lessons in them too. I love it when people are inspiring. I also love it when other people spend time and money and buy billboards to inspire others.



World Wide Wrestling
I have no idea who Eddie Guerrero is, but I just like to watch grown men cry.
(Happy Birthday to the only man that I don’t like to watch cry. LG is 33)

And, I really want to be in Eddie’s neighborhood in the next life, so that I can witness the embraces of all of the former wrestlers. I could be entertained forever.


Oh, and this video was such a better form of entertainment than the wrestling match that I passed in a parking lot on my way home from Wal-Mart the other night.

I left LG and the girls in the car and ventured into a whole new world of hillbilly.

I thought I had walked into some fictional novel.

And then my camera died.

The End.

Oh, you missed the front view, I am so sorry.

This is the best shot that I got. Notice the classy venue.

Check out the mc’s mullet curl!

Is there a haunted Smoky Mountain?

And, here is some wacky news from right down the street.
This tree art was found in Maryville.
About a twenty minute drive from our house.
It is claimed that it was found exactly as seen above, but I don’t know if I’m a believer.
We do have some of the highest rates of meth around these parts.
I wonder if Jeremy participated somehow. (not in the meth – geesh)
He’s pretty creative.
And who knows what he is capable after a few too many of his own brewed beers?

Threes

And this random picture has nothing to do with the post, but I don’t believe in posting without a picture and I don’t want to write a post for this picture. And, I have no idea what picture to use in correlation of this post.

This is the Smoky Mountains…taken a few weeks back while we went to see sychronized fireflies. Haven’t had time for the post.
The interesting thing about this picture is that it really is sooooo foggy in the Smoky Mountains. I had to wipe my lens before every shot. It was all fogged up.

Three is a lucky number for me.
3 brothers.
3 sisters.
3 kissed girls before my hubby found me.
3 months of dating via e-mail before I got married.
3 daughters.
3 hours of sleep every night for 3 years of my life.
3 years of law school.
3 months of bar study (lucky we only did this twice)
3 pills I take every night to stay sane.
3 dollars in my wallet right now.

yeah, you get the picture.
This is the way I choose to lead into my tag which I am sure none of you care to read.
But, I must cooperate or I may let down my lucky number.

How to play the game. Post these rules on your blog: List 3 Joys, 3 Fears, 3 Goals, 3 Current Obsessions/Collections, and 3 Random surprises about yourself. Tag five people at the end of your post by leaving their names. I will not tag…I don’t believe in tagging.

3 JOYS
1-family
2-enjoying nature
3-learning

3 FEARS
1-mice
2-abandonment
3-dying

3 GOALS (Sorry, left this out the first publish)
1-live happily ever after
2-write and publish something, anything
3-go on a honeymoon someday

3 CURRENT OBSESSIONS/COLLECTIONS
1-thinking about blogging (waiting for some time to actually do it right)
2-thinking about completed home repairs (waiting for the time and money)
3-thinking about the future when I will have more time to myself (while trying to stay sane babysitting all summer)

3 SURPRISES ABOUT ME
1-I google my exboyfriends from time to time, but never find any info on them. (I must say that I love my hubby A LOT and that I really am just a curious person)
2-I google myself all of the time and wonder if my exboyfriends ever google me and find my blog (try it Alice Wills….I come up on page one…yeah, that’s right…I’ve succeeded in life. None of my ex boyfriends have anything on their google search and I now have a different name yet still come up on page one by my maiden name!!)
3-I google the google searches that have come to my blog, just to make sure that I still come up! (Am I weird or what?)