LG

Thriftstore Fashion

I totally don’t get it.
There are women out there
who have dedicated whole blogs
to their clothes.
It’s so very strange to me.

I thought I should try it,
to see if I could catch the bug.

I first give you
two views.
You always have to pose
in every possible position
you know.

Waiting

I am waiting on a phone call

that will change my life.

I don’t know what it will be like to be a working mom

and I am nervous about it,

but I am also assured from mighty prayer

that God is watching over me

and will strengthen me.

I was just thinking about how much I hate waiting.

I’ve never been too good at waiting.

Give me my future NOW dangit.

Don’t make me wait.

And then instead of worrying about

whether or not the phone call is going to come,

I giggled some with Caroline,

and made her favorite treat.

A bottle of milk.

Yes, she is two and still gets a bottle.

Then I sat down to read some scripture online.

I need to do my dailies.

And what pops up?

LG’s pandora radio.

I guess he made it happen automatically.

And waiting became an all new experience,

as I listened intently to LG’s favorites.

I wondered how I can sing more like

Sarah McLachlan or Natalie Merchant.

And a broad smile conquers all

when I hear

Somewhere Over the Rainbow.

It is such a beautiful song.

And it played three times

while I was getting my root canal.

I imagined I was on the beach,

and made sure the dentist knew

that my husband hates that glitch in pandora.

Sometimes it plays the same songs over and over again.

The older I get, the better I get at waiting.

In fact, if you think about it,

all of the good things in my life

have happened while I was waiting on what’s next.

Waiting is the best place to be.

Toilet Time

Great.
My hubby is now going
to really have a great excuse
as to why he spends
so much time on the toilet.
Am I the only woman with this complaint?

Girls can play football too.

On Sunday, my hubby, LG got up to give a talk.
He was as cute as usual; I love hearing him speak.
He never does it publicly unless he is assigned.
Following, our three girls, me,
and the ward’s Young Women’s choir,
he got a little choked up as he said that good women are a theme in his life.

After all, he is the dad of four beautiful daughters
and the husband of a pretty hard to handle wife.

He then told a funny story.
Hit the read more. You don’t want to miss this one.
It’s about the kid shown above. And football.

I never blogged this when it happened so I was glad for the reminder found in my hubby’s brain.

About a year ago, LG was serving as a Scout leader.
Our time was always precious,
and so LG took Bella with him to a Wednesday night activity.
The boys played football and they were great to include Bella.
She loved it and was talking up the game the whole way home.

She then begged for a football for her birthday.
LG went out and got a football for her.
Usually the gift buying is up to me, so it was a pretty big deal.
Bella was so excited, tore into the package,
and entreated her dad to “play now daddy.”

Before they could go out to the yard
so that LG could show me that Bella
has some pretty good throwing potential,
Bella ran with the ball back to her room.

When she came bouncing back down the hall,
I think LG had a taste of reality.

She handed LG the ball,
which she had sprayed with adhesive glitter.
“Look dad, I made it sparkle.”

I love that girl.
And I am secretly jealous that I never played football.
I didn’t want to be one of “those” girls,
but I sure do love the sport.
I think I could have been good at it.

It would be a dream come true to see Bella succeed with football.
And I don’t care what you really think.
If you ever see her, you better tell her
how cool it is that we just signed her up
to play in our local flag football league.

Let’s just keep her balls glittery.
Just to be safe.

Sharing Fortune

LeGrand took me for the yummy Chinese lunch buffet today.

He ordered me an additional dish
of my favorite walnut shrimp.
On top of the all you can eat buffet.
Just because it’s my favorite
and it wasn’t part of the buffet.
Now, that’s true love.

When it came time to pick a fortune,

I felt equally drawn to both.

And when we opened and read, I realized why.

They applied universally.

We share.

Fortunes because they apply equally.

Moments because they are ours.

Secrets because we don’t want to share them with anyone else.

Intimacies because even being naked isn’t close enough.

Thoughts because we honor one another’s opinions.

Feelings because we want to be close.

Disappointments because they are easier

when you have a hand to hold.

Triumphs because we did it together.

Congratulations because we both deserve recognition.

Children because they are our greatest creation.

Love because there’s no other word.

Belief because we believe we are a small part of a great plan.

Money because you earn it and hand it over.

Clothes because sometimes your shirt is just more comfortable.

Toilets because we’ve got stories.

Cars because you let me drive and I change the oil.

Food because two entrees are better than one.

Pets because you bring them home and I feed them.

Parents because yours and mine are ours.

Music because we dance.

Beds because your always warm.

Traditions because we combined our pasts.

and

Futures because they are intertwined.

Sharing is best.

Sharing is fun.

Sharing is growth.

Sharing is double.

Sharing is joy.

Sharing is bliss.

Sharing is necessary.

Sharing is right.

Sharing is our great fortune.

I love you my better half and best friend.

14 more decades sounds still not long enough.

Happy Anniversary to the man with whom I share everything.

My man is the master.

Besides his amazing patience with my blogging,
(somebody at his work was privvy to all the boob drama
and said how sorry he was – sorry LG – so sorry)
one thing I love about my husband is his love for music.

Not only can he quote every lyric written by any Beatle,
he can also tell you just about any artist
when asked to Name That Tune.
He’s amazing.

He plays the piano.
He plays the saxophone.
And he can play the harmonica.

Compared to this guy, LG doesn’t play at all,
but I don’t think he has any plans of going to Carnegie.

My hubby also plays a little google.

Check it out.

Come Come Ye Saints Part 1
Come Come Ye Saints Part 2

The ditties are totally compelling evidence
to support my claim that
LG is the master of random instruments.

He has a hollowed out gourd on the shelf that he can play.
In his first year of law school,
he tweeked up the Adam Sandler song
on a broken guitar with three strings.
It was called Property Law.
It was pretty entertaining.
Even for us legal dummies.
It’s recorded somewhere but
I think I humiliated the man enough for now.
Man, if you bloggers would have
just been a little nicer to the guy
you could have been the recipients of a great youtube video.
Sucks for you.

I don’t remember the song very well, but there were lines in there
about Mormons dividing up their stuff between all their wives
and who would get Sigfreid and Roy’s tigers.

Put something in front of him
and he turns it into a symphony.

Take me for instance.
back in ’95,
I was Mary Had a Little Lamb.

Because of my man,
I think by now
I have upgraded to
at least
Heart and Soul .

Can’t wait to see
what he will be playing on me
by the time we die.

I hope it’s his acclaimed
The Entertainer.

It’s my fav.

I love you LeGrand.
I know you know that.
I just want everyone else in the blogosphere to know it too.
Especially if they thought I was serious with the breastfeeding post.

My husband loves his moobs.

Abigail thought she was being clever to shorten the name for LG’s manboobs to moobs.
Little did she know that the term is already in use everywhere.
Surely she hadn’t ever referenced the urban dictionary.
I guess it’s an easy combination to conclude.

Here is a funny story just for my sister in law Meagan
who has missed the old me while I was caught up in too much drama.

A while back we were having a talk about modesty.

I was telling Abigail to go and put a T-shirt on over her undershirt.

I said, “Cover up Abigail, nobody, including your family members want to see your bra all hanging out.”

Abigail said, “Nobody needs to see dad’s moobs through his sexy silky undershirt either.”
LG loves to taunt the girls when he wears his one silky top.
He also loves to taunt me when we go to sleep at night.
Oh Alice, you know I’m wearing my sexy silky right?
Uh huh, hun, why don’t you take it off? Take it all off baby.
And hurry, cause that see-through top kind of creeps me out.

Before I went into the whole Emma Watson routine,
LG kicked in.

“I find the whole concept of being ‘sexy’ embarrassing and confusing. If I do an interview with photographs people desperately want to change me – dye my hair blonder, pluck my eyebrows, give me a fringe. Then there’s the choice of clothes. I know everyone wants a picture of me in a mini-skirt. But that’s not me. I feel uncomfortable. I’d never go out in a mini-skirt. It’s nothing to do with protecting the Hermione image. I wouldn’t do that. Personally, I don’t actually think it’s even that sexy. What’s sexy about saying, ‘I’m here with my boobs out and a short skirt, have a look at everything I’ve got?’ My idea of sexy is that less is more. The less you reveal the more people can wonder. – Emma Watson

He said, “Girls, for every time you wear something that is too revealing,
I am going to take my shirt off and show my moobs to your friends.”

Oh the horror.

The girls screamed in unison…”NOOOO, not the moobs”.

“Oh, yes I will. I’ve got moobs and I know how to use them.”
He shot a wink my way.
I smiled.
And then had a good belly laugh.

Does that make me a pervert? Since I think that is absolutely hilarious, and if he ever did flash the moobs to scare our girls, I would most definitely take a look.

Hate it When

Don’t you hate it when your hubby comes home from work

and says

Wow, you’ve had a rough blogging day!
Do you want to know my opinion?

You are being petty and angry.

And today you acted to the antithesis of what you want your blog to be:
entertaining, light-hearted, and fun.

And you know he’s right.

I hate it when he’s right.

And then I don’t even want to let him give me that hug that I really want and need,
because somehow he has just become the enemy too.

Breathe Alice.
Breathe.

This too shall pass.

And I can’t be too upset that my husband is so smart.
Somehow that reflects good on me.
And let’s face it, I need all the kudos I can get right now.

I love you LeGrand,
just as soon as I get home from Pack Meeting,
I will be ready for that hug.

Boy, my life sucks right now.
Blogging smackdown and Pack meeting all in one day.

At least it is raining outside so I don’t have to water the lawn.

There’s always a silver lining.
And I am doing something right by teaching my kids that
because the other day when Abigail took out her load of lights with inkpen all over everything, do you know what she said?
At least it wasn’t my whites.

And she was right.
And she learned that from her mom.
Her mom that was too emotional today.
And too sensitive.

And yes she gets that from me too.
Thank goodness she also has the genius genes from dad.

Wow, there’s nothing like life tragedy to bring out the desire to write.
Anyone else have something to dish out?

Hole in One

Dear LeGrand,

I want you to know that I count every one of my memories with you as sacred.

I wouldn’t be whole without them

and I don’t ever want to live without you.

I swung the club
and off it sailed.
So far away,
it was hard to eye.

But it only took you
for me to see
that my shot
was off by a mile.

In the woods,
we went and searched,
and laughed
until we cried.

We suck,
we lamented.
My game was so bad.
Irrelevant.

Our par didn’t matter
we were intoxicated
just you and me
experiencing a first.

We shot ball after ball
and finally got one
over the river
instead of in it.

Years ago,
we were on that course
in St George
and I will never forget.

Your smile
and your laugh
and your patience
and your love.

When reflecting
I know for certain
I got the most important
hole in one.

I love you LeGrand. Happy Birthday.
I can’t wait to have many many more firsts with you.

Baby, You’re A Firebolt

If you love Harry Potter and funny videos.

This is a must see by BYU divine comedy.

It’s not quite as good as Harry and the Deathly Hollows Part II,

but it may give you just as many laughs.

Last night LG and I went to

Gracious Rain’s Premiere Party.

I was the evil witch and

he was the boring guy

who didn’t want to dress up.

“Baby, you’re still a firebolt,”

for indulging my lunacy last night.

As I finished getting dressed,

Caroline would have nothing to do with me

and LG turned to Sophia

and said,

“Oh man,

I am going to be so embarrassed.”

Love you too babe.

Later he tried to make up for it

by tweeting that I was the hottest witch in the room,

but it didn’t quite do it for me.

Because I literally was the hottest witch in the room.

I was wearing 4 layers.

Now for my review.
I know you’ve all been busting at the seems for it.

(If you’ve been living in a Hogwarts History book
and don’t know who is going to die in the movie,
you may want to read this
after your viewing)

First of all,
when Fred dies,
a piece of this funny girl died too.

Oh, you didn’t know that Fred died.
So sorry.
You have no right to watch the movies
if you haven’t read the book.
A part of this girl died
when Fred died in the book,
and when he died in the movie,
I just had a short revisit
to the moment I read about
this terrible misfortune
years ago
and sat up and cried all night.

Then when they show Remus and Tonks dead,
all I could think to myself was
shouldn’t Tonks hair be a brighter color
so that all the fools that didn’t read the books
would know that was her?

Then when Harry died,
I was like
“Is he really dead?”
No I wasn’t
because I read the book
and
I knew he wasn’t really dead,
but I still cried.

And then when Harry finally
defeated that horrible Voldermort
why was I the only one in the theatre
who cheered?
Why?
Why?
My husband even shooshed me.
C’mon people.
Ding Dong the dude is dead.

I didn’t cry when Voldemort died.
In the book or the movie.
Good riddance.
The only regret I had
was that the poor monster
never knew love.
But, isn’t that what JK Rowling
was trying to tell us all along?

Then
19 years later:
life went on,
in a profound way:
Harry had
a fatherly chat
with his nervous son,
Albus Severus Potter.
(The name was a trend on twitter
all night long)
“Son, the sorting hat,
takes your vote into account.”
Harry should know all about that.

At this point,
I had an epiphany:
love is life.
life is love.
Why not love life?
Even if it’s just the ordinary?

Or even if it’s magical
and fictional
it’s still worthy of our deep devotion,
isn’t it?

I think they made Ginny a little pudgier
which made me happy
because she’s a mom
and she’s still beautiful
with a few extra pounds.
And I am sorry to the actress who played Ginny
if they didn’t really make you
look chubbier
but I just thought that they did.
Ron was chubbier too.
It’s in the Weasley genes.
Apparently,
the Potter and Granger genes
are skinny to the end.

You know,
I dressed up like Bellatrix
to show outwardly
the love I have inwardly
for the magic we call Potter.

And people may have disagreed
with my choice of the dark side,
but without the dark side,
there would have been
no story in the first place.
Another good
and true
life lesson.

Favorite parts of the movie:
(Here are the spoilers
in no particular order)

Getting out of Gringots on the dragon.
Ron and Hermione kiss. (finally)
Ginny saying “I know” to Harry.
Professor McGonagall saying
“I always wanted to use that spell.”
Dumbledore talking about
not pitying the dead.
Harry viewing Snape’s memories
and finally understanding Snape’s actions.
Snape saying
“You have your mother’s eyes.”
Harry when he comes back to life
and jumps out of Hagrid’s arms.
Neville.
Everything about Neville.
From when he brings Harry into the castle,
to slaying Nagini,
and sitting by Luna awkwardly at the end.
Mrs. Weasley hollaring at Bellatrix and defeating her.
When Hermione calls Ron brilliant
and kind of shakes her head in surprise.
Professor McGonagall giving
the boys permission to blow up the bridge
and them being uncertain about whether or not
she is serious.
Harry conversing with his momma.