FunnyBlog

Family Feud

Do you remember this post about my family’s appearance on The Family Feud?

Well, LG and I were at a Radio Shack the other day and it reminded me of my brother’s terrible answer in the final round. He will never live it down. What would you buy (other than a radio) at Radio Shack? A wire. I think one other person had actually picked that answer. So funny and fun.

We didn’t win the $20,000 but we did make some great memories.

Go to my brother Adam’s facebook page to watch the video.
And come back and tell me how terrible my hair was.

Girls can play football too.

On Sunday, my hubby, LG got up to give a talk.
He was as cute as usual; I love hearing him speak.
He never does it publicly unless he is assigned.
Following, our three girls, me,
and the ward’s Young Women’s choir,
he got a little choked up as he said that good women are a theme in his life.

After all, he is the dad of four beautiful daughters
and the husband of a pretty hard to handle wife.

He then told a funny story.
Hit the read more. You don’t want to miss this one.
It’s about the kid shown above. And football.


I never blogged this when it happened so I was glad for the reminder found in my hubby’s brain.

About a year ago, LG was serving as a Scout leader.
Our time was always precious,
and so LG took Bella with him to a Wednesday night activity.
The boys played football and they were great to include Bella.
She loved it and was talking up the game the whole way home.

She then begged for a football for her birthday.
LG went out and got a football for her.
Usually the gift buying is up to me, so it was a pretty big deal.
Bella was so excited, tore into the package,
and entreated her dad to “play now daddy.”

Before they could go out to the yard
so that LG could show me that Bella
has some pretty good throwing potential,
Bella ran with the ball back to her room.

When she came bouncing back down the hall,
I think LG had a taste of reality.

She handed LG the ball,
which she had sprayed with adhesive glitter.
“Look dad, I made it sparkle.”

I love that girl.
And I am secretly jealous that I never played football.
I didn’t want to be one of “those” girls,
but I sure do love the sport.
I think I could have been good at it.

It would be a dream come true to see Bella succeed with football.
And I don’t care what you really think.
If you ever see her, you better tell her
how cool it is that we just signed her up
to play in our local flag football league.

Let’s just keep her balls glittery.
Just to be safe.

If fashion can make me laugh: I’m in.

Fashion: I don’t get it.
I have a friend who runs this fashion blog.
Every day it astounds me that people
actually put clothes on and take pictures of themselves.
Sometimes multiple shots from different angles.
I guess it’s the wardrobe equivalent of me
blogging every detail about my life on this little thing we call the blog.

Well this morning Sheila turned me on to a post
that is funny and fashionable.
Go and check it out.
You will never look at your accessories the same.
Thanks Sheila.

Music to my ears.

This funny video came to me as an e-mail forward from a great friend.
Valerie Ader is old enough to be my mother
so naturally she is really good at e-mail forwards.
I miss you Valerie. I need a walking partner. Move to Utah.

Anyway, it’s good for a laugh and some inspiration simultaneously.
I am sure you are going to love it.
And thanks Val.
You always come through for me when I don’t feel like writing!

Remind me

Why do I blog?

I am over it today.
I haven’t been in a writing mood.
It’s quite possible I go through this very mood
every last week of summer.
The kids are going to be back in school very soon
and maybe I will have more of a regular schedule
and maybe I will get a real nap time
to sit at the computer without being interrupted.

Or maybe I will find the job that I need to get.
Either way, my blogging future isn’t looking so hot.
And I am sad.

I don’t want to give it up.
I love this outlet.
I love when people enjoy something that I wrote
or brought to their attention.
I love recording my kids’ lives through words and pictures.
I love embarrassing my husband.
I love chuckling at myself when I write something crazy.
I love reading comments that tell me how stupid I am.
I love making a resolve to change after reading the aforementioned comments.
I love the thrill of when I write something like this
thinking about whether or not I should really post it
and I know I will because it’s my mommy type of bungee jumping.

But today all I can think about is
how I really want to get up at 6 am and actually exercise,
but I rarely do.
I want to write a book.
I want to go back to school.
I want to find that perfect job.
But I really don’t want to put Caroline in daycare.
I’ve never left my kids to the care of another all day every day.
I have been home with each of them from the moment they were born.
I am bitter because I have to find a job to help pay for my husband’s schooling.
He’s a lawyer and I have to go and get a menial job to pay back his student loans.
It just seems wrong.
And I am bitter.
I want to spend my days hanging with Caroline and blogging.

LG has a great job.
Don’t take this as me not being grateful for what he does
because I am.
I just hate stupid law school.
It was the worst thing we ever did.
And yes, it was a joint effort.
You don’t move across the country with 3 kids under 4
to ever hear your husband even dare to say he did it by himself.

I find when I don’t want to write anything fancy,
it’s my best idea to just vent.
So there you have it.

I am in a bad mood today.
I think I am tired.
And I just need to go to bed early.

And I need to count my blessings.
And open my mind to new possibilities.
And reassure myself that me and this blog are a package deal.
Forever and ever.
I don’t need to be reminded that I must write.
It’s who I am.
It’s as much of me as the hair on my head.
Maybe on Thursday,
I’ll have something
wittier, or funnier, or even more entertaining to say.

Until then,
will you just remind me
why I do what I do?
I think you have a lot to do with it.
I need your love.
And I need you to remind me
to put on my big girl panties
and get over it.

July’s Contest Winner!



Valerie Shedley won for the funniest joke in July’s contest.

Sorry it has taken me so long to formerly announce it.
I’ve been enjoying our last few days of summer.

Valerie as soon as you tell me what kind of gift card you want
and you message me your address your $20 gift will be on its way.

Here is Valerie’s winning joke. She was right when she said that fart jokes are always funny. The girls, LG and I, and four of my grown-up in-laws were all cracking up. Even if we had heard it before.

Once there were 3 people in an airplane, one took a bite out of an apple. She thought it was too sweet so she threw it out of the plane. The second person took a bite out of a lemon and she
thought it was too sour so, she threw it out of the plane. Then
the last person took a bite out of a grenade and he thought it
was too crunchy so, he threw it out of the plane. Then they
landed and decided to go for a walk. They first passed a little
girl who was crying and they asked, “little girl, little girl,
why are you crying?” and the little girl said, “an apple came
down and killed my new kitty”. Next they passed a little boy
who was also crying. And they again asked, “little boy, little boy, why are you crying?” and the little boy said, “a lemon came
down and killed my new puppy.” Then they passed a blonde sitting on the side walk laughing her butt off. They asked, “why are you
laughing so hard?” and the blonde said, “I farted and the
building behind me blew up!!”



Deanna H and Nadelie were the runners up, but sorry, you two,
 you get nothing but kudos and thanks from my kids.
You’ll have to go back to the comments and read their entries along with all the others. They were all so funny.

I love you Val. I am thrilled that you were my winner
because you have made me laugh for all 37+ years of my life. Why stop now?

For those of you who want to win this month’s boggle contest, go here.
I might even write up nice stuff about you too.

Now a little more about Valerie Shedley (now Valerie Walker) who lived next door growing up. She was best friend’s with my little sister Renee. Therefore, she was like another annoying little sister to me. Valerie tolerated me, just as my birth sister did, but I think secretly Valerie really looked up to me. Ha!

Valerie and her brother Michael ate meals with us often. Valerie slept at our house often enough that she knew that she could always climb in a window if she needed a place to stay. Our windows were easy to climb. Our front door was also always unlocked, especially for Valerie. She was a Wills through and through. I am sure she even helped clean from time to time.

We played the shut up game. For some reason she and all the other neighbor kids thought it was fun. They had to “shut up” or I would hit them with a roll of newspaper. The next level was torture as a duntz in the corner, hat and all. The last and worst level, only ever attempted one time with my little brother David was a swirly in the toilet. I think they all wanted to play repeatedly because they were hoping to witness another swirly attempt. Wow. I had issues. But so did they! Seriously, they would beg for this game and no one would be satisfied until I forced their seating arrangements, sat in a chair in front of the fireplace, and stared them down daring them to make a peep. Crazy us. Good memories though. If only it was that fun when I wanted to get my kids to settle down.

Valerie has turned into a great lady. Against all odds, she has forged an awesome life with her hubby and three kids. Here is Val’s blip about herself from facebook. Don’t even try to tell me that she isn’t related.


I am awesome hahahaha I have 3 kids, yours mine and ours. Chloe is 13 (4 months older than Briana) Briana is 12 and Wyatt is 4 . I married my best friend and my soul mate. I am a simple girl, tom boy really, it doesn’t take much to make me happy it’s the little things really! I try REAL hard to see the good in everything but sometimes it’s harder than others. I like to have fun and laugh!
Food is one of my favorite things but I don’t like to cook, I just like to eat! Anything else you want to know just ask!

My favorite part of her info is her favorite quotation. “Do unto others as you would have done unto you.” I am pretty sure she got that from my mom, who got it from Jesus.

Valerie recently shared a touching story with me. It was about how much she loves my mom and and. They became her adopted parents. One time, Valerie recalled, they had no power. Her dad had nto paid the electricity bill. My dad ran an extension chord to the Shedley’s refrigerator so that their food wouldn’t go bad. That’s my mom and dad’s example to their children. It was not only nice but necessary to look out for one another. I wish neighbors were still as close as back in the day.

I really wish that Valerie could move next door. Oh my goodness Val, wouldn’t that be awesome. What would be even more awesome is if you bought your dad’s house and we bought my mom and dad’s house. I would totally let you use an extension chord whenever you needed it. Or visa versa.

Sharing Fortune

LeGrand took me for the yummy Chinese lunch buffet today.
He ordered me an additional dish
of my favorite walnut shrimp.
On top of the all you can eat buffet.
Just because it’s my favorite
and it wasn’t part of the buffet.
Now, that’s true love.
When it came time to pick a fortune, 
I felt equally drawn to both.
And when we opened and read, I realized why.
They applied universally.

We share.

Fortunes because they apply equally.
Moments because they are ours.
Secrets because we don’t want to share them with anyone else.
Intimacies because even being naked isn’t close enough.
Thoughts because we honor one another’s opinions.
Feelings because we want to be close.
Disappointments because they are easier 
when you have a hand to hold.
Triumphs because we did it together.
Congratulations because we both deserve recognition.
Children because they are our greatest creation.
Love because there’s no other word.
Belief because we believe we are a small part of a great plan.
Money because you earn it and hand it over.
Clothes because sometimes your shirt is just more comfortable.
Toilets because we’ve got stories.
Cars because you let me drive and I change the oil.
Food because two entrees are better than one.
Pets because you bring them home and I feed them.
Parents because yours and mine are ours.
Music because we dance.
Beds because your always warm.
Traditions because we combined our pasts.
and
Futures because they are intertwined.
Sharing is best.
Sharing is fun.
Sharing is growth.
Sharing is double.
Sharing is joy.
Sharing is bliss.
Sharing is necessary.
Sharing is right.
Sharing is our great fortune.
I love you my better half and best friend. 
14 more decades sounds still not long enough.
Happy Anniversary to the man with whom I share everything.

We are all Pioneers

Who is your favorite pioneer?
Mine is my mother,
who at 16 started searching for the true church.

She attended every church she could find.
It wasn’t until she attended
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints
that she finally felt at home.
She says that seeing the families

all sitting together

is what first touched her.
I don’t know why that touched her more
than the families in the other churches she attended,
but I believe it was her first step at
gaining a testimony.
God spoke peace to her heart
through the eternal truth of families
that she had finally found the right place of worship.
I am so grateful for the gospel of Jesus Christ.
And for my mom.

Cafe Rio Pork

Being back in Utah has reunited us

with a lot of our most loved foods.
Fry Sauce for one.
mmm mmm.
Cafe Rio for two.
I thought I would help those of you out that aren’t close to a Cafe Rio.
Here is a recipe that I recently tried and loved.
Homemade Cafe Rio Pork.
It is made in a crockpot, so it’s perfect for Sundays.

Cook the 5-6 lb. pork roast alone in a crock pot on low overnight.
In the morning add
1 Liter Dr Pepper
1 cup brown sugar
3/4 cup white sugar
2 clove minced garlic
6 oz red taco sauce
 7 oz can green chilis
1 tsp cumin
1/4 tsp cayenne pepper
After about 4 hours, shred the pork and let cook for another 2 hours.
You can serve this burrito style, enchillada style or over a yummy salad.
Just don’t forget the cilantro and lime.
Funny, I scheduled this post two weeks ago, but lately two of my friends have both posted a variation on this recipe. You know it’s good, if it’s all over the blogosphere. The slow cooker part makes it great for this hot time of the year.

Your Klout on Social Media

Recently I found myself writing up a ditty for a blog service.
The question was how can your readers connect with you?

I answered
Comment on my blog at  imsofunny.blogspot
Find me on my facebook  page, imsofunnyblog.
They can get me on my pinterest, imsofunny.
On my neglected twitter, imsofunnyblog,
On my blogfrog community, funny.
Are you following the funny theme?

Or they can e-mail me at alice.w.gold@gmail.com.
I thought I really should get an e-mail with the word funny in the address.
Oh well. Maybe later.

I got thinking about how much I use social media.

If I was honest with myself about how much time I spend on the computer connecting with others it may almost be embarrassing. Almost. Because I also connect with people in real life too. If I was only connecting online that would be embarrassing, but I am still good at regular face to face communication. Or at least I think so. phew.

Have you all heard of the new social media popularity contest? It’s called klout.
My score has been remaining strong between 50 – 60. Pretty good if you ask me.

Do you know what’s even more impressive?
I am now influential about three topics.
These topics are generated by klout and klout alone.
They analyze all my material on social media and determine my influence.
My first two spheres of influence: blogging and family.
Cool.

My third: heaven.
Breathtaking.

Heaven?
Heaven!

So, all you Mormon haters.
If you want to get to heaven, you better start listening to me.
Klout doesn’t lie.
And I am in- flu- en-tial.
In other words, I have an in.
An in with heaven.

What could be more cool than that?