USA

You’ve arrived at your destination.

A few weekends back, we went to visit George’s home away from home. George Karnes is our good friend and his family roots go way back in a place call Ten Mile, West Virginia.
Here are some pictures of our journey. For those of you not interested in our travelogue (including pictures of our children) you must ignore the next several posts.
We arrived in West VA without too many problems. We decided to make our journey a little more adventurous and let LG navigate while I drove. Mostly, he just HAD to do the navigating because George had let us borrow his GPS, and LG couldn’t wait to use it. Trusting a GPS 100% is not just a bad idea, but a completely stupid thing to do. We should have never had that darn little evil device. We would have been better off trying to follow George’s written directions and stopping and asking locals when we were unsure. We didn’t figure this out until we drove about our 50th mile. Yep, we most definitely missed that 10th mile our first time around.
After missing one interstate connection, we wasted about 30 miles. We knew we were finally getting close when we started to see license plates like this.
hmmm….cheat Mtn….sounds like a place Mormons should not visit.
And where would West Virginia be without the coal industry?
Probably in the dark, like the rest of the country.
George had warned us that the gas prices were higher up there.
It’s a good thing we filled up in Virginia.
This is when we started to be lulled into a false sense of security.
We had reached Buckhannon with only one wrong turn.
When we finally reached Ten Mile, we were approximately one hour later than expected.
We had called George from where we should have turned off the last road of true civilization.
He expected us 10 minutes later. Oh, but how George grossly underestimated our ability to sight see.
And for our three day stay, we would all try figure out where our GPS had taken us.
Using our best detective skills, we combed through my photos on my camera.
We would all be fired as Nancy Drew. We all missed this sign. LG and I had traveled up the civilized highway about 10 additional miles before we made one very wrong turn onto Sago Drive. (Maybe this is why they call the place ten mile – you have to drive 10 additional miles in every direction until you find the place) The wrong turn made for some very fun travel on crazy old mining roads.
My camera didn’t seem to mind.
What a nice place West Virginia is. They have these little red sheltered bus stops along the school bus route. (Don’t you think a kid could get into some trouble inside one of these? – They must really trust their kids, huh? – There is no way that I would let my kids hang out in one of these, at age 6 or 16…both ages could be very very dangerous for different reasons, if you know what I mean, it only takes two minutes – and those of you that read me often, know what I am implying here.)
Here is the coal mine. The first I have ever seen in real life.
It really brings home the stories that I have heard only on the news.
I guess this is the actual mine of the most recent mining tragedy.
West Virginia is also known for it’s lumber industry.
Between old mining and lumber roads, West Virginia is the perfect place for four wheeling.
This adventure will be in another post.
And, the cows.
All of the family was moaning and groaning because I just HAD to take their pictures.
These pictures would be a HUGE part in piecing the puzzle together of our GPS backwoods tour adventure.
Here was another piece of the puzzle.
Notice the reference to the”red man”.
There is something very liberating about visiting a place that hasn’t been forced to catch up to the rest of the politically correct world.
Sure tale sign that we were REALLY lost.
The wild life turns from domesticated cows to undomesticated dear.
The hubby and kids in the car are also turning into wild life at this point.
And, at some point, our GPS decided to tell us that we had “arrived at our destination”.
There was one problem, we saw nothing. I mean absolutely NOTHING but trees.
Could George and Lanette’s hideaway be THAT hid away?
We started asking locals where to go.
They were able to look at us crazily and question how we had gotten so far off track.
One very kind man was able to direct us back.
He read our directions and said,
“Oh honey, you are looking for ten mile. How did you get way up here?”
He said, “When you see the tunnel (well it’s kind of a culvert – note to self, look up culvert) you will be close.
This is the tunnel that George told us not to travel under on the way in.
We never saw it until our way back. We were so happy to drive through it.
Side note: a culvert is a drain or waterway under a road.
We should have just followed these tracks in.
Ten Mile got it’s name by being the tenth mile on the tracks.
Knowing our sense of direction, we would have followed the wrong set of tracks.
Oh, wow, look at this. The tracks do go RIGHT to George and Lanette’s front porch.
That’s our car. We had finally arrived.

Don’t you think the view alone was worth our hour long adventure in the back woods. (You can all sing along now….a one hour tour, a one hour tour.) Oh, wow, we could really take this Gilligan theme song through the whole story….

Just sit right back and you’ll hear a tale, a tale of a fateful trip
That started from this K-ville port, aboard this tiny Ship.
The mate was a GPS trusting man, a driver brave and sure

And, there is nothing like, joining up with the family at a campfire.
Of course, there was a campfire. It was dark outside, duh?

This picture was taken the next day.

George and Lanette wanted us to forgive them for that stupid GPS.

They sure know how to flatter.

Don’t you?…


…wish your kids
were this cute?
I mean, seriously.
You know
that they aren’t.
I am considering making an offer for surrogacy.

“What, Jada, did you say that you like french fries? How ’bout the whole bag? Donna, I want to give her the whole bag, is that ok? She deserves it. She makes America such a better place to live, just by being so beautiful.”

The Rest of Tennessee

During this past weekend, several of my in-laws took
the opportunity to tell me that
they think that I knock on the State of Tennessee too often.

And, they don’t appreciate it.
I guess they think that I never say anything good
about their beloved home state on my blog.

I thought that I would try to regain my grace in their presence.

I love Tennessee.

Trust me, if I didn’t love it here,
I think I could make my husband miserable enough to take me back where I came from.
There are a lot of other women who have done just that.

Sure, I know I show a lot of the quirky sides of Tennessee,
and natives don’t always appreciate it.

But it’s not because I want to demean people
or show the state in a negative light.
But, I do it because it’s funny.
I would do the same thing if I lived in Utah or California.
Two words: hippies and polygamists.
But, just because I would show the extremes
it wouldn’t mean that the rest of the state wasn’t somehow lovely.
So, I am repenting, and asking for forgiveness. (I am really good at this)
I have made a goal to show you all the REST of the State of Tennessee.
(not just the bad parts)
I thought it no better than to start with one really nice feature of the South.

The rest stops.
(or Rest Areas as they are officially called)

Seriously, you have never seen such deluxe rest stops, unless you have visited.
They are SO nice.

People actually plan their trips around which rest stop that would like to visit.

I am still trying to adjust to the notion.
You just don’t go to rest stops out West.

The only people that visit rest stops in the West are, well, the likes of polygamists and hippies.
In the rest of this country, rest stops are scary.

They are not a place you want to visit, much less, use their bathroom, especially with children.

So, if you are a Western transplant and you join the family for a picnic at a rest stop,

even if it is the Sabbath, and you are avoiding eating out, you feel dirty somehow.

Downright shameful.

So shameful that you just try to go unnoticed by snapping photos from the background.

Look, Michelle loved enjoying lunch at the rest stop on Sunday.


And, do you know what?

When you leave a Tennessee rest area, you actually feel rested.
And the rest that you get in a slower paced state like Tennessee is priceless.

And, it is the perfect place for a Western transplant to live.

P.S. In my defense, when just searching,

I found way more good posts about Tennessee than bad ones.

I think TN Natives can be a little sensitive and defensive at times.

But, that’s not an insult, just an observation.

And, I would like to say, in my defense,

that I know Californians and Utahans can be defensive too.

Supporting American Economy

Thanks to Valerie for a great e-mail forward.
If only my tax stimulus check didn’t have to be used for all of the necessary things listed.

As you may have heard, the Administration said each of us would
get a rebate check to stimulate the economy.
If we spend that money at Wal-Mart, all the money will go to China.
If we spend it on gasoline it will go to the Arabs.
If we purchase a computer it will go to India.
If we purchase fruit and vegetables it will go to Mexico, Honduras, and Guatemala.
If we purchase a good car it will go to Japan.
If we purchase useless junk it will go to Taiwan… …and none of it will help the American economy.
We need to keep that money here in America.
The only way to keep that money here at home is to spend it at garage sales;
since those are the only businesses still in the U.S

If every day were field day

If every day were field day,
we could sit outside and smile at each other.
Everyone would love themselves and wear fancy hats.

We could pop balloons with our butts just for fun.

We could let out all of our frustrations by pulling on eight kids on the end of a very large rope.

Everyone would get some kine of award, and be very happy and proud of their hard work.


Our teachers would cut us a break when they had to replace the paper that they told us to be very careful with. They would forget that they told us to place it in a very important place instead of losing it out of our pocket on the playground.

Even though they said they would not reproduce our list of events, they would.

Why?

Because it is field day, and no one can go home disappointed, even if they tend to misplace things because they are too busy thinking about more important things.

(The little genius Abigail is just like her father. He needs a field day every day too so that when he loses that fourth wedding band [which is not a matter of IF but WHEN], I, too, will cut him a break.)

We could just hug our friends.

We would not just cheer on our classmates but the opponents from the “other side” also.

And, we could run just for fun.

(Man, I really need an adult version of a field day.

I haven’t run for fun in approximately 15 years)

And, last but not least, if we could have a field day every day,

everyone would take a moment to enjoy the vastness of the sky.

And, like me, they would know God is up there somewhere.

And they would know that he’s watching over all of his children.

And on field day, everyone would be happy because God would be happy.

Why?

Because his children are all getting along, enjoying each other and encouraging each other.

And that is the most important reason that even if every day isn’t field day,

we should act like it is.

And, if you can’t be nice like it’s field day…

…go and pop a balloon with your butt.

It will put you in the mood.

The Golden Girls…

….we look as unlike a famous Rock Band since The Chipmunks.
But hey, if they can do it, so can we.
We absolutely cannot resist the chance to play a little Rock Band when we see it set up at Sams.
It does not matter how much shopping we have on our list or how close it is to bedtime.
We just know that those Sam’s Club employees set that equipment up for us.
We would not want to disappoint.

If only we could afford to bring one home.

But, of course, if we bought the game Rock Band,

we would then have to add a Nintendo 360,
and then we would need the big screen TV,

and then after we got it set up,

but before we could play,
we we would have to go back down to Sams
and get some onlookers to come home with us.
You just can’t be a Rock Band without some groupies.
(this is starting to sound like the book: If You Give A Mouse A Cookie)

And, everyone would come from far far away to see the Gold’s play.
They would not be able to resist our talent or our charm.

And, I don’t care if the game thinks that we are failures.
We all know that these electronic games come with programming glitches.

I found a blue man

For almost 6 months,
I have been in the fritz with a company called Allegiant Air.
To make a long story short,
we bought discounted plane tickets from Knoxville to Vegas.
We thought that we would visit my parents in St George in December.
Because LG had to retake his bar prep course, we had to prolong the trip.
would only give us an Allegiant Air credit,
but because they stopped their Vegas/Knoxville service,
this airline credit would do us no good.
I called, I wrote, I faxed…
nothing was working towards getting our money back.


Nothing worked, until I found a blue man.
A blue man is my way of associating this cool photo
with a guy who actually breathes and listens.
In my own weird logic,
my favorite man of today is a blue man.
Because he is an excellent human,
he must have blue blood running through his veins, right?
Who is the man?
The man is Mr. Gallagher, Allegiant Air, CEO.
Here is the e-mail I received over the weekend
because of Mr. Gallaher’s commitment to customer service:
Mrs. Gold:
I am in receipt of your letter dated May 11, 2008, to Mr. Gallagher and I apologize for the delay in responding to your inquiries. As a courtesy I have refunded back to the original form of payment $1171.50. Because we no longer fly into Las Vegas we took this into consideration when refunding. However, the $50.00 per person per segment ($100.00 per person) cancel fee does apply per our Terms and Conditions because you declined the Travel Protection.
Again I apologize for the delay in answering your letters.
Sincerely,
Joe Schrider Manager, Customer Relations
“Leadership is the art of accomplishing more than the science of management says is possible”
WOW! I was so impressed.
If I could go to Vegas and shake the man’s hand personally I would,
but because Allegiant doesn’t fly there from here any more, I can’t.
I guess this blog post will have to accomplish my deepest compliments.
Thank you, too, Joe Schrider.
Oh, and thanks to that Reader’s Digest article.
It taught me that if all else fails,
write the CEO,
sometimes they can make action happen faster.
And fast, was an understatement.
I just sent the guy a letter in the mail last week.
I am thrilled that I now have enough money
to drive to Utah this summer.
I don’t even plan to leave for a few more months,
and Mr. Gallagher was finally able to put my travel money back in my hand.
Yeah for Mr. Gallagher and Allegiant Air!
I am so glad that I waited to post about this situation until the happy ending.
I can now tell you all to go there and buy some tickets.
Just be sure to also buy that travel insurance,
so you don’t lose $500, like we did.
Oh, and you will have to go somewhere besides Vegas,
they don’t fly there from Knoxville any more.
But, hey, we finally have our $1171.50 back. I cannot complain. I won’t do it.

h2o woes

My sister Shannon, the family pro of soccer, recently gave me some great advice on surviving soccer season.

She used to drag me out to the BYU field to watch her then fiance, but now husband, Brett, play. (I won’t bore you with the details of Brett and I having the “is soccer or football the better sport” debate for eight hours straight one Thanksgiving)

Anyhow, Shannon’s simple advice truly made my life a lot easier during the past couple of months.

“Keep a case of bottled water in your van.”

Thank you Shannon. Because of not rummaging for water last minute, I was actually able to make it ON TIME to approximately 10 of the total 50 soccer practices this season? Wow.

Anyway, during this same conversation about bottled water, I asked Shannon if she knew anything about these new wave water bottles. (the ones that are supposed to keep you cancer free) I told Shannon that I had briefly read a blog post about somebody purchasing these really plush water bottles and replacing all the plain old plastic ones in the house. (I wish I could remember who posted about this, and I would link)

I had no idea that plastic water bottles were linked to causing cancer. Not that I care. I don’t trust scientists, and it truly seems that everything in this universe is out to kill you. My way of being happy in this life is choosing to ignore all the health reports.

Shannon and I talked about the days when we used to go out to the public ball fields to play Bobby Sox. Shannon recently asked my mom, “Mom, I don’t ever remember taking water bottles to the field back then, how did you get out of that responsibility?” Mom reminded Shannon, “Back then, everyone used the water fountains.”

Needless to say, I was thrilled when we traveled to Norris last week for one of Abigail’s games and found this quaint little community. I got to make a lesson out of this really cool old-school water fountain.

I sounded like a senior citizen, “Girls, when I was a kid, we didn’t have water bottles. Everyone would drink from public water fountains, just like this one.”

Seriously, are you with me on ignoring health reports? What really has the potential to be more harmful? The old school water fountains with all their public germs or water packaged in plastic?

Do you know what I say, “Who cares!” For all I know, by the time I am a true senior citizen they will be saying that it’s the water that causes cancer.

"God is in the wind"

I loved this faith promoting post about roses are red’s visit to the Columbine High School memorial.

I found this scripture to add to the post: Mark 4: 39 & 41

And he arose, and rebuked the wind, and said unto the sea, Peace, be still. And
the wind ceased, and there was a great calm …. And they feared exceedingly,
and said one to another, “What manner of man is this,
that even the wind and the sea obey him?”

I tried to capture the wind in photograph. Here is the best I could do for now.