Motherhood

General Conference
It was a weekend of instruction at our house. For those of you that aren’t Mormon, General Conference happens twice a year (April and October). The modern-day Prophet, Apostles, all speak to the general membership of the church. Also, talks given by other church leaders are disbursed throughout the four two-hour sessions. (two on Saturday and two on Sunday)
Of course, the Conference doesn’t hail from TN, but it’s broadcasted throughout the world from Church Headquarters in Salt Lake City, UT. This is what our computer looks like while we are watching and listening online directly from the comfort of our own home.

Here is LG’s artistic presentation of me multi-tasking

I was scrubbing the bathroom and listening at the same time.

(I always strip down so that I won’t bleach my clothes)

Here’s the kids stash of food to tide them over –
notice the little loaf of homemade bread – YUM!
(Of course the food wasn’t fuel for them to actually listen,
but justification for mom and dad to listen and ignore them)

Abigail looks so glamorous as she stuffs her mouth.

We always go up and watch the satellite broadcast at the church for one session.
We want the kids to understand the importance of listening to our leaders.
Abigail really seemed to enjoy the talk given by Sister Susan Tanner.
I was proud the she recognized that she was being talked
about when Sister Tanner said:
“I never fail to be struck by the way that women,
young women, and even little girls seem to have an instinctive
interest and ability in nurturing.”
Abigail loves helping with babies.
And don’t you think her drawing is pretty accurate?
(I will post the actual picture of Sister Tanner,
as soon as they get it up on the church website)

And, by Sunday afternoon the kids were
pretty desperate for some entertainment.
Here is Bella gathering supplies for the fort building.

My favorite talk was probably the same for every Mormon mother out there.
Elder Ballard’s words about mothers was truly inspirational
(even if it guilted me into not wanting to spend so much time online.)
Me to LG, “I am not surfing the web, I am blogging….it’s totally different!

$5.25
We discovered the world’s best pediatric dentist a few years back. His name is Bo Townsend, but he allows his patients and their parents to affectionately call him Dr. Bo.

LG teases me that I have a crush on Dr. Bo, but we all know it is just a joke, and plain not true. I just love Dr. Bo because he is so good with the kids. Him and his office staff make going to the dentist a totally uplifting experience. (and that’s not just because of the monkey mask gas breathing)
Unfortunately, Dr. Bo has no webpage or decent online link, or I would give him some linklove. For locals who may be lookiong for the best pediatric dentist ever, here is his phone number: 865-522-5437
If I had a crush on Dr. Bo before, then I am now in love with the man….he turned my sweet Sophia from a four front tooth pirate into a beauty with a glowing smile. I can’t help but think of Laura Ingalls Wilder every time I see her now. Her new darling smile just makes me so happy.
Sophia posted about her recent tooth extraction experience, here.

Here is what Sophia’s teeth have looked like for the past 6 weeks.
And, then she just had to breathe some of the magic air that made her float in mid-air. This stuff is the true magic, Sophia didn’t even flinch when Dr. Bo was stabbing her with the longest numbing needle I have ever seen.
Can I please get some of that for home?
Nice monkey nose.

Dr. Bo yanked the teeth out while I had stepped out in the hall to talk to Bobbie.
I can’t believe I missed it! (I think that Bobbie was in on the motherly distraction)
Sophia didn’t even know that he had taken them out, now, that’s expertise.

Here are the leftover holes.

And, is this not the cutest smile you have ever seen?

Seriously, I don’t expect it to have the same effect on you, but it just makes me cry….so sweet.
And, we got through all of this without any tears, except for mine when I found out I missed all the action. And, also, I am not counting the tears that were shed while the last affects of the magic gas were wearing off. We were halfway home by this point, and a girl has no control over how that magic gas effects her hormones, does she?
And, the last part of the story. I (being the mom that I am) told that cheap toothfairy that he better pay up good. This girl deserved more than just $1.

Lookee Here

Look at the empty laundry baskets.

This one is for Chrys…No, I don’t think I can live up to your systematic way of life, (although I am impressed) but, I give you the highest kudos for your amazingness and for motivating me enough to catch up on my laundry this week! (If any of the rest of you have no idea what I am talking about, read this)

It has been a very long time that on Saturday night I am DONE with the laundry! And guess how I did it? I folded them while waiting for the pics and video to upload to my blog!

And, to all the rest of you that felt my pain: ladies, be of good cheer, I am now living proof that we can all still blog and keep up with our housework…as long as you’ve got four hours to give every Saturday.

No pile in front of my dryer. WOW!

27 Chicks

Every day between Sophia’s kindergarten pickup and Abigail’s pickup, I go over to the Aders, and Valerie and I walk while we let the kids play. We want to show up her hippy sons when we hike with them on the Appalachian trail for a couple of days. (they don’t think we can do it)

On Thursday, the Aders added 28 baby chicks to the 4 baby ducks that I already posted about. Abigail was heartbroken after hearing Sophia and Bella tell her all about the chicks, and so after school yesterday, we all went back to the Aders so that Abigail could get her turn to see the baby chicks.

I was heartbroken to hear that my runt (the first one that Valerie put in my hand – what a great first experience – it kind of convulsed and pooped on me) had died in the night…Valerie gave her a proper burial by chucking her over the back fence into the BEYOND at the beginning of our walk. Later, I realized that we should have at least given the runt a name before we disposed of her…as an afterthought I would like to affectionately call her Chicken Little.

As you heard in the video, as of yesterday at 3:00 the chickens had no names. Me, being the animal lover that I am, can not let any living thing go nameless. Valerie’s sister gave her the idea of painting the baby chicks toenails to help her differentiate them while they grew.

So, yesterday, every one of the chicks got their toenails polished (Abigail was a great help with this task) and a name….here they are:

1- Mary (she is calm and peaceful like the Mary’s in the scriptures)

2- Janice (she is loud and annoying, like Chandler’s ex-girlfriend on Friends)

3- Deeny (she was an escape artist just like Hoodini)

4-Henny Penny (she is a gold chicken with silver nail polish – she had to be named after money)

5- Strawberry (she is a sweet chick with red nail polish)

6- Diana (gold chick with purple nail polish – Purple and Gold were my HS colors and the Lancers were our mascots – we named her after royalty)

7- Big Momma (she is one big chick)

8- Angelina ( she had pink nail polish with feathers stuck to her toes, she is named for the ballerina)

9- Jo (she’s the little tomboy)

10- Shaniqua (she’s the black chick)

11- Frances (she’s got the French manicure)

12- FloJo (she is black, fast, and has fancy silver nails)

13- Whoopi (black and full of life)

14- Dora (the boys named her – she’s got a spot on her neck, totally irrelevant)

15- Jemima (another black chick)

16- Addie (she’s a crazy chick we added the I E to the A D D)

17 – Decrescendo (when you pick her up, she’s really loud, and then she quiets down)

18- AnnaBelle (she tried to eat Valerie’s hand)

19- Molly (she wanted to get back in the pack with all the other chicks real bad, we named her after all the other Molly Mormons that we know who are tryint to keep up)

20- Jane (she was just a plain old not exciting chick)

21- Ruby (the boys named this one)

22- Ginger (she pecked some red nail polish onto her beak and it made her look like she was wearing lipstick – we named her after the Gilligan’s Island star)

23- Fiona (she had bed head and was real grouchy- we just liked the name and thought her characteristics were in sync with an hogre)

24- Dorothy (she’s got a dot on her beak – we named her after my Grandma who hated to be called Dot for short)

25 & 26- MaryKate and Ashley (they’re identical twins)

27- Lucy (she got the sparkly nail polish, so we named her after a stripper – I wanted to name my Bella Lucy so badly, but my mother and another friend both told me that Lucy was a name for a stripper – I don’t agree but it ruined the name for me. But, HA, I showed them, I now have Bella and an adopted chicken named LUCY..and everyone LOVES LUCY)

Thanks for the memories Valerie! I cannot wait to keep painting toenails every Friday. And, I also can’t wait to get farm fresh eggs for real cheap!

Oh…the laundry!

To start a long post, and hopefully motivate you to keep reading, here is a joke I read recently:

Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, “What setting
do I use on the washing machine?”
“It depends,” I replied. “What does it say
on your shirt?”
He yelled back, “University of Oklahoma.”
And they say
blondes are dumb…

Warning this is a loooooong post…but it just had to be done all together, and if you want to know why, you must read the whole thing.

The laundry that a mother of 3 has to gather, treat, wash, (and sometimes rewash) fold, and put away is NEVER ENDING. My friend Tracy told me that if you ever want a glimpse of eternity, you should just compare it to laundry. Eternity will be different and hopefully a lot more fun than laundry, but the cycles will probably very similar. Clean, put away, wear, dirty…you get it.

I have posted about laundry before…here and here (for the more spiritual side of laundry). It shouldn’t surprise you that the subject has reared its ugly head again. I am a mother. And mothers are made of the stuff they learn while laundering. Some of us glean more lessons than others. That is why I like to take so long to do my laundry…I have the opportunity to learn so much more this way.

A couple of weeks ago, Faye and her mom, Grandma Henderson stopped by. They were on their way to go and help a very pregnant cousin, but some bad weather gave them a “wait out a Southern storm” pit stop at my house. They were greeted by my 10 loads of laundry waiting so patiently on family room floor to be folded. The pile had been growing for at least three days.

Grandma didn’t even try to contain her amazement, as I kept bringing her basket upon basket of clean and wrinkly clothes (the only way we fold laundry around here is wrinkly). I have to give Grandma credit though, she was so cute, as she just kept folding steadily and cheery.

Grandma grew up with 10 siblings in a log cabin in the hills of North Carolina. She also raised 4 children. In response to the hour of the 3 of us folding constantly (except when I stopped to snap photos) Grandma said with all seriousness, “I have never seen this much laundry in my life. It reminds me of when I was growing up and my mom didn’t do laundry between Christmas and Old Christmas, and even then we didn’t have this much.” (Grandma didn’t know what Old Christmas was, but you can read here for a good history lesson…so interesting)Yep, I can always amaze people; even when they are aged and think that they have experienced everything, they really just haven’t spent enough time with ME!

Well, I have to say that I was kind of embarrassed, and partially relieved…luckily, there was no lingerie in the pile. Faye also did my dishes; it was lucky for her that they had only been piling up since that morning. (did you know that I have NO dishwasher? – married for ten years and I have only had a dishwasher for a total of 10 months – and THAT is something to brag about – my hands are even still soft at times)

It was so nice of Faye and Grandma, especially considering they were only here a total of 2 hours. What can I say though, LG is a product of some of the best women in the world? I hollered out as they were leaving, “Any time you want to come and do my laundry or my dishes, just stop on by.”

It can probably go unsaid, but laundry is always something that I have NOT mastered. What can I do to make it less torturous…I have no answers…yet.

So, when I was out with some girls the other night, we sat and talked and talked. We had so much fun, even if The Olive Garden fed us “puke dip”(affectionately named by the one and only Cally) OG’s new Smoked Mozzarella Fonduta Dip is NOT good. That was an understatement..it was nasty (what a bummer) And, yes, I took a picture of it. (Keep reading this does have to do with laundry)

If you want to read from the girls I was with, go to Cally, Lori, and Mandy. Sorry, Rachel doesn’t have a blog (what is she thinking?) I had no idea that Cally and I shared an affinity for Black Tie Mousse Cake….YUMMY! But they changed the crust from Oreos to cake. I hope they go back, it used to be so much better; I was so disappointed.

Come to think of it, I was disappointed with the only two things I ordered that night, between the girls and the bread sticks, I didn’t even notice.

Anyhow, back to the laundry. Throughout the night, I was laughing so hard because it was as if we couldn’t start ONE sentence without the word blog in it. Here are examples of starter sentences. “On my blog”, “Oh your blog”, “Did you read that blog”, “That is some great blog material” or the best being “I have got to blog about that”.

On the way home, we were discussing how pathetically addicted we all are at the moment…and it only makes it worse that we feed off of each other.

To change the subject, I proposed the question, “Can anyone help me with my laundry dilemma?”

We had a great lengthy discussion of many great ideas that I am too lazy to try and have already ruled out. The discussion really led to my confession of forgetting to stay on top of my laundry because of my blog. The girls and I all decided that they should send me random “do your laundry” reminders in the my blog’s comments from time to time. This way I couldn’t conveniently forget. You can imagine my delight, when a week later, Cally posted this. (She has a way with surprise…she waited just long enough for me to forget the conversation…the Cruze’s are so good with the element of surprise)

This is what the boys did while we went out. ..

Maybe I should have taken over my laundry for them..surely we would have got home before 2 am if they were folding instead of warring….Man, I can’t remember the last time I stayed up until 2 when blogging wasn’t involved.

Bowling for a Break

I recently posted about LG’s desire to join a bowling league to escape the female hormones that are rampant at our house.

So, over Spring Break, we did the next best thing. We went bowling with all the female hormones in tow. Lucky for LG, we joined some of our friends from the testosterone family.
I have to say Matt is one fierce competitor when it comes to who has the most testosterone, and I am only saying that to get him to read my blog.
Here are some pictures in the form of how to have a successful time when bowling with children.
Tip #1: Kick back and try to enjoy the constant motion of the children. Try not to worry about the children throwing the bowling etiquette out the window. Hope that you don’t get people from the redneck bowling league on the lane next to you. (Man, I knew I should have taken their picture)

I know this is a picture of Rita’s backside, but you can’t really see it, and I wanted you to all see her knocking down ONE pin…and we all know that is the hardest thing to do when bowling. Unfortunately, the picture is too small here and you can’t see her blue ball knocking down the pin either.

But, Tip #2: Aim the best you can, and let the bumpers take care of the rest. And try not to worry about anyone taking a picture of your backside.

Tip #3: Demonstrated by Sophia. Dry your hands on the hand blower as often as possible. This seemed to be more fun for the kids than the actual bowling. That blower was never idle throughout the night.

Tip #4: Keep your eye on the ball.

Tip #5:

Try not to obsess about the score.

Tip #6: Say Cheese when your moms get out the cameras, and you will be duly rewarded.

Tip #7: Dig in, because when you said cheese,
your mothers responded with the Nachos. And everybody loves Nachos: big and small.

Tip #8: Take a nap before the final frame.
And the final tip of the night:
Go bowling on the night that games only cost $1.
No matter what goes wrong, everyone will be happy, even the dad’s leave happy.
$20 for our family of 5, and you know he couldn’t have bowled in a league that cheap.
And who wants to bowl with all the rednecks anyways?
They would never jump up and down for you when you get a strike.
And, they would have most definitely threw you out when you missed that split, instead of climbing up into your lap for a hug.
(not that you would want a hug from them anyway, and you certainly wouldn’t want them climbing in your lap)

The Sacrament That Spoke To Me
This may be the only Easter post that I find the time for this year.
I have just been so swamped.
I guess I am really playing catch up for blogging way too much for the past month or so.
Tonight, while deciding which post to do first,
I decided to start with the one that meant the most to me.
I hope that is o.k. with the rest of you.

On this Easter Sunday, as I took the Sacrament at church, I was reminded of a special experience I had a while back. This experience deepened my love for my Savior, Jesus Christ, and I hope it will do the same for the rest of you, even if you’re not a mother.

It was one of those moments in life; it was so minuscule, and especially so if compared to the vast eternities. Without the presence of the Holy Spirit it was a moment that could never be recalled. I was a new mother desperate for some quiet time in my life. I desired nothing more than a period of 5 minutes where I could just be close to God. This Sunday, during the Sacrament, I wanted my participation in the Lord’s Supper to find meaning again. For months, if not years, it had just seemed to be a jumble of trying to quiet my three small daughters. I needed to feel closer to my Savior, so that I could somehow find the strength to overcome my own weaknesses, particularly my impatience with my young children.

So, I sat with my children and tried my hardest to focus on Jesus Christ and all that He means to me. During the Sacrament prayer, I listened intently and as the words were uttered, “that they always do remember Him, that they may have His Spirit to be with them”, I was somehow filled with the Spirit. On that day, I succeeded at finding God’s realm. Reflecting back, I realize that nothing feels better than feeling the Spirit of the Lord. Nothing. In God’s realm, everything is peaceful, everything is right, and everything is love.

I prayed a fervent prayer that I would always remember Him, and that I could even do so during the week to come, especially when I was the least patient. I thought of my daily challenges and how sometimes it seemed as if a spilled glass of milk could just make me want to run away from home. Oh yes, my challenges were constant; there was the absence of my law student husband, the money that was always stretched to the limit, the never-ending needs of the children, the piles upon piles of laundry, and the mess made by a child and cleaned by their mom, only to be followed by another one which always seemed more extensive. How could I always remember Him?

With the presence of the Spirit, the physical messes somehow turned into the spiritual messes. In this minuscule moment, I felt that Christ was mending my spiritually broken heart. He was fixing the messes that I had in my heart. The Spirit whispered that it wasn’t about my children and their messes, it was about me and my mess. I wasn’t taking the time to realize who these children really were: they were God’s daughters and I was the mother privileged enough to clean up after them for a time. The wisdom was imparted: when I learned to be a mother with a cheerful heart, I would find the patience and the quiet that I desperately needed in my life. If I would mother with God’s wisdom I could be blessed with the Spirit always.

I prayed. What was God’s wisdom that I needed? I sat and I listened to the still small voice. The little noises from around me started gaining a volume in my ears. But instead of being annoyed by the noise I was being blessed with some reminders. Each child’s cry echoing from chapel was suddenly not annoying at all. Jesus Christ became even more sacred to me and loved by me as I remembered that he loved each of these children. God’s wisdom was that He loved them just as He loved me.

And then when the moment was almost over, I was blessed with a very special last reminder. I heard something that I had never noticed before. It was the sound of sacrament cups being dropped into the trays. Every plunk seemed to get louder and louder, and every other noise from the room became more and more faint. I closed my eyes to listen more intently. Those plunks seemed to be so frequent. It was as if I could hear them resonating from around the world, and throughout time. I could not contain the emotion, the tears began to flow. Jesus Christ suffered the infinite atonement for all of these people. And, I was just one of the fortunate. He died for me so that I could be forgiven as I participated in the sacrament for my impatience and whatever else I wanted to change in my life. I was a mother who wanted to be better. And, Jesus Christ would bless me with my pure desire. Jesus Christ loved us all, children and adults, and somehow that fact would give me the patience I needed.

She’s got the world at her feet.
This post should be read by mothers raising their first child,
it truly could save you some suffering in the long run!

I have to laugh whenever I see people boasting the talents of their toddlers. I am not laughing AT you my mother friends, just WITH you. (unless you aren’t laughing, and then I guess I am laughing at you) I so used to be the same way. I used to love to compare my little girl with other children. “Oh, yeah, she knows all of her alphabet, she can count to 100, and she has every Book of Mormon prophet memorized” and this was at the age of 2. (and this was the truth)

But, several years ago that child comparison game got very old for me. How did I get past it, you ask? I just birthed a few more kids that weren’t labeled as “prodigy material”. It only took me two seconds to realize that just because one child learns faster, it didn’t make her entitled to better success. My other two children are also very bright in their own ways, and they have every bit of a chance at success than Abigail does. (even if Bella is almost 5 and still doesn’t know how to write every letter)

I used to drill Abigail over and over again, and she loved it. My other two children, don’t love being drilled. And, I am happy to report that I have gladly accepted that they will learn most everything they need to know in school; I do not need to send them into school ready to pass kindergarten. (I did that with Abigail and all it did was lead to her own boredom)

Abigail could read at 3. She could do math by 4. She is extremely smart. In soccer, she can play a mean forward, but because she is even smart on the soccer field, she is put at midfield (she is smart enough to play offense and defense).

Abigail was labeled as “smart”, but what did that do for her? It hasn’t boosted her drive, it has only made it tainted. I recently read an article in the Reader’s Digest that says that a parent should not praise a child’s intellect, but their effort. We found this out the hard way.

Here’s the quote from the article, Inspire Your Kids:

Social psychologist Carol Dweck, PhD, tested the effects of overpraise on 400
fifth graders while she was at Columbia University. She found that kids praised
for “trying hard” did better on tests and were more likely to take on difficult
assignments than those lauded for being “smart.”

So, now that Abigail is 8, and still ingenious, what do we focus on? We focus on her motivation. We focus on the fact that just because she is smart it doesn’t mean that she can sluff.

It is a fine act of balancing. We want her to pave her own way, and not do things because we want it, but because she wants it. When I recently read this article I felt really good about not pushing her too hard. I knew there had to be a reason (besides our own laziness) that we shouldn’t have to stay on her case 24-7.

Little did I know, that Abigail has a great effect on other children. Do you remember Doogie Howser,? Well today, psychologists are calling The Doogie Howser effect good for competition. They say that because of overachieving children, normally developed children try harder. No wonder that Sophia and Bella are more driven, they are trying to keep up with Abigail. Abigail better watch it, or they will just pass her right by.

Consequently, I knew there was a reason that I recently have been learning not to compare myself to others. I just figured out that everyone has the world at their feet and everyone has a different role to play in that world. I don’t need to push myself because Doogie is a child doctor, I need to push myself towards the goals that I set for myself. Who cares what Doogie is doing?

And it is precisely for this new found knowledge: that of the Doogie Howser effect, that I am reminded again that LG is a genius and I am just one of those hamsters in the wheel trying to catch up. LG never pushes himself because someone else seems to be doing better than him. He truly doesn’t even pay attention to what other people are doing. When I used to ask him, “how did everyone else do on the final?” He would say, “I don’t know Alice, I really don’t care.” And he was serious…do you see how that can make a person emotionally healthier?

Why doesn’t he care, you ask, because he has always known that he is a genius. He was told so since he was a child. He was an oldest. And, as the oldest, what do you think that he is always working on? You got it, his motivation! (You see, this is just one big round cycle) Me, on the other hand, I was a middle child. I have always known that my intellect is average and that if I wanted to outdo others, (especially those people called my smart older siblings) it would come by pure effort alone. And, I am proud to say that I took that challenge head on.

Until recently, that is, when I learned that when you jump off the wheel, it means that you get automatic “smarter” status. Guess what, in the past few months, my IQ just jumped a good 20 points or so. Now, that’s what I call having the world at your feet.

Can moms succeed at blogging?

Yes, this used to describe my typical night before I started blogging…Now, you can just add blogging to the rest of the list!

WHY I LOVE BEING THE MOM

Mom and Dad were watching TV when Mom said, “I’m tired, and it’s getting late. I think I’ll go to bed.”

She went to the kitchen to make sandwiches for the next day’s lunches.. Rinsed out the popcorn bowls, took meat out of the freezer for supper the following evening, checked the cereal box levels, filled the sugar container, put spoons and bowls on the table and started the coffee pot for brewing the next morning. She then put some wet clothes in the dryer, put a load of clothes into the washer, ironed a shirt and secured a loose button She picked up the game pieces left on the table, put the phone back on the charger and put the telephone book into the drawer. She watered the plants, emptied a wastebasket and hung up a towel to dry.

She yawned and stretched and headed for the bedroom. She stopped by the desk and wrote a note to the teacher, counted out some cash for the field trip, and pulled a text book out from hiding under the chair.

She signed a birthday card for a friend, addressed and stamped the envelope and wrote a quick note for the grocery store.. She put both near her purse. Mom then washed her face with 3 in 1 cleanser, put on her Night solution & age fighting moisturizer, brushed and flossed her teeth and filed her nails.

Dad called out, “I thought you were going to bed.”

“I’m on my way,” she said.

She put some water into the dog’s dish and put the cat outside, then made sure the doors were locked and the patio light was on.

She looked in on each of the kids and turned out their bedside lamps and TV’s, hung up a shirt, threw some dirty socks into the hamper, and had a brief conversation with the one up still doing homework. In her own room, she set the alarm; laid out clothing for the next day, straightened up the shoe rack. She added three things to her 6 most important things to do list She said her prayers, and visualized the accomplishment of her goals.

About that time, Dad turned off the TV and announced to no one in particular. “I’m going to bed.”

And he did…without another thought.