This is a great video for a society that is becoming more and more immoral.
And I’m not talking about breastfeeding. Sheesh.
It’s kind of funny that I had to switch my safety mode in youtube to “off”
to be able to watch this.
I guess we are already watching our step around here.
Whenever I want to quit blogging,
I watch this.
When hateful anonymous commenters
(who may or may not be mentally ill)
tell me I have no business on the internet,
I think of Lucille Ball, The Beatles, Ulysses S. Grant, Michael Jordan,
Thomas Edison, Walt Disney, and Abraham Lincoln.
You see they had haters too,
but they believed in themselves
and kept trying.
Who do you think about in times when you need to be reminded not to give up?
Besides his amazing patience with my blogging,
(somebody at his work was privvy to all the boob drama
and said how sorry he was – sorry LG – so sorry)
one thing I love about my husband is his love for music.
Not only can he quote every lyric written by any Beatle,
he can also tell you just about any artist
when asked to Name That Tune.
He’s amazing.
He plays the piano.
He plays the saxophone.
And he can play the harmonica.
Compared to this guy, LG doesn’t play at all,
but I don’t think he has any plans of going to Carnegie.
My hubby also plays a little google.
Come Come Ye Saints Part 1
Come Come Ye Saints Part 2
The ditties are totally compelling evidence
to support my claim that
LG is the master of random instruments.
He has a hollowed out gourd on the shelf that he can play.
In his first year of law school,
he tweeked up the Adam Sandler song
on a broken guitar with three strings.
It was called Property Law.
It was pretty entertaining.
Even for us legal dummies.
It’s recorded somewhere but
I think I humiliated the man enough for now.
Man, if you bloggers would have
just been a little nicer to the guy
you could have been the recipients of a great youtube video.
Sucks for you.
I don’t remember the song very well, but there were lines in there
about Mormons dividing up their stuff between all their wives
and who would get Sigfreid and Roy’s tigers.
Put something in front of him
and he turns it into a symphony.
Take me for instance.
back in ’95,
I was Mary Had a Little Lamb.
Because of my man,
I think by now
I have upgraded to
at least
Heart and Soul .
Can’t wait to see
what he will be playing on me
by the time we die.
I hope it’s his acclaimed
The Entertainer.
It’s my fav.
I love you LeGrand.
I know you know that.
I just want everyone else in the blogosphere to know it too.
Especially if they thought I was serious with the breastfeeding post.
Abigail thought she was being clever to shorten the name for LG’s manboobs to moobs.
Little did she know that the term is already in use everywhere.
Surely she hadn’t ever referenced the urban dictionary.
I guess it’s an easy combination to conclude.
Here is a funny story just for my sister in law Meagan
who has missed the old me while I was caught up in too much drama.
A while back we were having a talk about modesty.
I was telling Abigail to go and put a T-shirt on over her undershirt.
I said, “Cover up Abigail, nobody, including your family members want to see your bra all hanging out.”
Abigail said, “Nobody needs to see dad’s moobs through his sexy silky undershirt either.”
LG loves to taunt the girls when he wears his one silky top.
He also loves to taunt me when we go to sleep at night.
Oh Alice, you know I’m wearing my sexy silky right?
Uh huh, hun, why don’t you take it off? Take it all off baby.
And hurry, cause that see-through top kind of creeps me out.
Before I went into the whole Emma Watson routine,
LG kicked in.
“I find the whole concept of being ‘sexy’ embarrassing and confusing. If I do an interview with photographs people desperately want to change me – dye my hair blonder, pluck my eyebrows, give me a fringe. Then there’s the choice of clothes. I know everyone wants a picture of me in a mini-skirt. But that’s not me. I feel uncomfortable. I’d never go out in a mini-skirt. It’s nothing to do with protecting the Hermione image. I wouldn’t do that. Personally, I don’t actually think it’s even that sexy. What’s sexy about saying, ‘I’m here with my boobs out and a short skirt, have a look at everything I’ve got?’ My idea of sexy is that less is more. The less you reveal the more people can wonder. – Emma Watson
He said, “Girls, for every time you wear something that is too revealing,
I am going to take my shirt off and show my moobs to your friends.”
Oh the horror.
The girls screamed in unison…”NOOOO, not the moobs”.
“Oh, yes I will. I’ve got moobs and I know how to use them.”
He shot a wink my way.
I smiled.
And then had a good belly laugh.
Does that make me a pervert? Since I think that is absolutely hilarious, and if he ever did flash the moobs to scare our girls, I would most definitely take a look.
Don’t you hate it when your hubby comes home from work
and says
Wow, you’ve had a rough blogging day!
Do you want to know my opinion?
You are being petty and angry.
And today you acted to the antithesis of what you want your blog to be:
entertaining, light-hearted, and fun.
And you know he’s right.
I hate it when he’s right.
And then I don’t even want to let him give me that hug that I really want and need,
because somehow he has just become the enemy too.
Breathe Alice.
Breathe.
This too shall pass.
And I can’t be too upset that my husband is so smart.
Somehow that reflects good on me.
And let’s face it, I need all the kudos I can get right now.
I love you LeGrand,
just as soon as I get home from Pack Meeting,
I will be ready for that hug.
Boy, my life sucks right now.
Blogging smackdown and Pack meeting all in one day.
At least it is raining outside so I don’t have to water the lawn.
There’s always a silver lining.
And I am doing something right by teaching my kids that
because the other day when Abigail took out her load of lights with inkpen all over everything, do you know what she said?
At least it wasn’t my whites.
And she was right.
And she learned that from her mom.
Her mom that was too emotional today.
And too sensitive.
And yes she gets that from me too.
Thank goodness she also has the genius genes from dad.
Wow, there’s nothing like life tragedy to bring out the desire to write.
Anyone else have something to dish out?
I am not taking the advice of my good friends, and bowing out.
Thanks for a great post Wayne.
My brother told me to grow thicker skin or get a new hobby.
Will be contemplating which one will work best for me.
I am pretty certain I am not going to quit blogging.
So I will probably be googling how to grow thicker skin
At this point, I still don’t regret sticking up for myself, not one bit.
But ask me how I feel tomorrow.
Dear Big-Time Bloggers,
I just got done reading a post by a big-time blogger that was all about me. Of course, she never took the opportunity to tell her readers that she was talking about me, but the post was all about me. Heaven forbid she actually give a little blogger any positive feedback? She may lose some of her loyals.
You see, I was stupid. It won’t be the first or last time. I ignorantly shared a link with her about a silly little post I wrote about breastfeeding. I had no idea she was a big-time. I was just doing what I do…using the internet as my corridor to a world where there are other adults.
A few days ago, after my big no-no, (how dare I share a link on a big-time blogger’s site?) this big-time blogger then came over and gave me a non-committal comment, which I should be sooo grateful for since she is a big-time blogger and I am not. She then said something a little more rude about me on her own site, which is her prerogative as it’s her site. She went to her twitter and unleashed her forces on me, which one again I should be so happy about because a big-time blogger can’t even fathom the idea that I was just sharing something on the internet because I thought it would make her smile.
Of course the only reason I share anything on the internet is so that I can become famous, like her. Nope I haven’t been sharing things on the internet for the past seven years just because it’s what I love to do. I have only been sharing because I am just waiting for that big break. I am just dying over here to gain the power of Lord Voldemort so that I can command my minions to reek destruction on the little muggles of the world. Everyone knows a little-time blogger must not be worth anything. If they were, they would be at the top of the heap.
You see, I am not a big-time blogger. I don’t play with the big gals. I am just a nobody to them.
If I was a somebody then I would surely get some answered e-mails from time to time, but I am not a somebody. I am a nobody.
Being the nobody that I am, I should be worshiping the ground that these ladies walk on.
Well, guess what? I am not.
I learned early on in life that just because you aren’t in with the “in” crowd, it doesn’t mean that you are a nobody. And when you do get “in” with the crowd because you lost 50 pounds to do so and hung onto the coattails of your popular brother and sister as tight as you could, it doesn’t necessarily mean that is the place you want to be.
The popular ladies are not always the best ladies. They are not even the ladies that anyone really prefers to hang out with. Sometime people just want to be with them because they are big-time. That’s it. Once I am with them, they may just make me feel like a streetwalker. I may be in with the heathers, but if I have to be at the bottom of the pecking order, I will come to realize that I don’t want to be there at all. I may just prefer to go back to my own little bubble, where there may be only my family and friends(and a few hundred people who found me on the internet). I will realize that it’s the non-popular place that I want to be because that is where people truly love me for who I am. My own little bubble is a place that everyone matters and no one has to live their lives just to impress other people.
And that would make me smart. Very smart.
So, hey you big-time bloggers. I may be an idiot. I may have no business being on the internet, but guess what? That is the beauty of the internet. It’s a place where everyone belongs. Even you belonged before you were discovered.
I love the internet. I love blogging on the internet. I may never hit the big-time but the internet is the forum that I use to say screw you popular girls. I don’t have to kiss up to you or make you feel more special than me. I don’t even have to conform to your way of thinking.
I am who I am. I say what I want to say. I can leave comments where I want to leave comments. I can read other comments by the other nobodies. All the nobodies that make you the big-time blogger. But, me, I am just me. Take me or leave me.
And one of these days, there is going to be an uprising. The nobodies are going to say, “hey, we don’t like being treated like nobodies” and they are going to ban together to make their space on the internet more powerful than the big-times. (Or maybe I just live in a fantasy novel where good always conquers evil)
And Just like in Can’t By Me Love, I am going to fair alright, despite myself.
Even if it leaves me with just my husband on the back of his mower.
And that will be just fine, because I’ve been blogging long enough to know that he may be the only person who still stands with me at my worst. It’s such a koinky dink that my worst happened when I reached out to you, you big-time blogger. I hope you are ever so pleased with yourself. You have arrived. You are at the top. It must feel so incredible.
As for me, I am off to read all the posts on my blog reader, where I will be removing your blog. You see, I prefer the little time bloggers. I don’t think that they are as full of themselves.
And next time, if you want to attempt an apology, I have a simple word of advice. Of course you probably won’t read this, but I guess I will throw it out there for the enlightenment of my friends who already know common courtesy. The things you learn on little people blogs.
Love Yours truly,
Nobody @imsofunny
P.S. I think that Prairie Mama handled herself like a little time blogger. And I say that to be very complimentary. Really.
Google Plus. Everyone wants to know about it. Here’s what I think.
I am a bit nervous about technical writing. I am not techno-savvy, as evidenced by my Top 10 Commenter box to your left without any commenters in it. Every widget I found on the web just won’t work right. Does anyone know if this pipe place is just a scam? All the code I have found uses pipes and not a single one of them actually work.
I’m a bit worried that I may look this stupid in the techno department. (O.k. I don’t think I am that stupid thanks to my husband who just realized that I had the wrong link oops)
First I must enlighten you about google’s attempt at pinterest. It’s called What do you love? It can be found at wdyl.com. You type in something that you want to hear more about and it gives you these neat little boxes with lists of stuff from all over the internet. I actually think it’s like a mix of pinterest and bing.
I typed in LeGrand. It didn’t give me what I wanted. I was hoping the page would be plastered with my hubby, but even though I am a somewhat successful blogger who blogs a lot about my man with a very original name, he was nowhere to be found.
Google did give me a street in California named LeGrand that we could go and see. I can explore LeGrand in 3D. Been there, done that. It gave me a box to start a discussion about LeGrand, which I could totally use on most days. It gave me my man’s new logo. Surely brought to us by some company in Europe that sells things that are just grand.
I was really excited about the box called start a debate about LeGrand. Oh you know I did. Feel free to reply or add a question of your own. Unless you are one of my anonymous commenters who like to be mean. You guys aren’t invited to the party, although I am sure you won’t resist the opportunity to crash it…after all that does seem to be your forte. I feel so bad for party crashers; the only people who give them the time of day, are other people who are crashing a party. Must be a little miserable.
When I type Alice Gold into wdyl (you know I can’t resist searching for myself), all the photos on the front page are of the new up an coming British singer with whom I have the pleasure to share my name.
O.k. enough of the Gold’s.
On to my take on google plus.
What is google plus?
It’s a social network. I think it’s google’s attempt at combining twitter and facebook. They have done a pretty great job, if you care to hear the humble opinion of a technologically challenged blogger. I am terrified to switch over to wordpress. (Well, and I don’t want to lose all my google searches)
The things I like about google plus:
The twitter-like features. I have a lot of friends on facebook and not as many on twitter. I use both mediums for different reasons. I love the hashtags and the ability to just type in a friend’s name in the comment box of twitter and they automatically alert the person I am talking to. In facebook I have to go to each individual wall and that gets time consuming.
Circles. Circles are the big selling point for google plus. You can keep all of your people separate and easily share what you want to share with only who you want to share. It’s a bit of a pain setting it up at first, and I have a lot of circles so it’s extra horrible waiting for the page to move down to those bottom circles every time, but in the long run this feature alone could be a viable argument for using google over its counterparts.
Profile Google put together my profile for me and it even reflected my sense of humor.
A few years ago I received my first capped tooth. Joy.Do you think it’s just coincidence that at the time I was living in Tennessee.
Almost a little creepy how it can read my mind, but it was awesome to discover that google had once again done my work for me.
Plus 1 While I am out perusing the web, whenever I hit the google plus sign, they will all be added to my tab under my profile where it will feature everything I like, all in the same spot. Now, that’s genius. I may not even have to blog anymore.
Pictures Google automatically imported every single one of my photos from picasa web albums. You can’t see them until I go over and hit the share button, but this is a huge bonus for me. We are talking over 5,000 pictures at my fingertip and yours.
Chat/Hangout We have all been using google to chat forever, but now we can hang out. Remember those circles? I can invite all the people in a circle to hang out all at once. Hey book club gals in TN, we can now each use our own I-pads to have a book club from home, even when I live in Utah now. We will all be chatting and viewing each other in video. I don’t know about you, but the 15 year old girl in me feels like she just got invited to the best slumber party ever. (My techysavvy hubby just proofread this post for me so I don’t make a total idiot out of myself and he thinks that you can only hangout with 7 people at a time – I am contemplating which 6 of you would be the most entertaining to invite to my online book club)
What I dislike about google plus:
The learning curve I always hate the learning curve. My first try on google plus, I wanted to thank LG’s cousin who graciously sent me the invite. I couldn’t figure out how to go to her wall so I went back over to facebook to say my thanks. It wasn’t until my brother explained to me the twitter feature of just typing the name in the box that I understood that google plus was actually more convenient than facebook. Well, at least technology will always be good for one thing: let’s all give our technological training men a huge thankful shout out, right here and now.
Spammers use it. I’ve already been followed by almost as many spammers as friends. Even though I don’t have to add them to my circles, they are still following me and that creeps me out a bit. I feel the same way about the spammers on Twitter.
Nobody is there. Well, I shouldn’t say nobody because I do have about 20 friends who are actually using google plus, but that would still mean that I am missing over 800 people.
Why we should all be worried:
Mark Zuckerber is the google plus user with the most followers. Yes, that Mark Zuckerberg.
Only time will tell what google plus will do to our beloved facebook. And do you know what I love about that? The power lies with the users. It’s all up to us. The industry will listen to what we want and make it happen. All hail to the free market.
Oh, speaking of facebook, if you haven’t liked me there yet, please do. Go over to the box on the right of this very blog and hit the like button. It’s that simple and you hold the power of promotion.
And also, just so some of you who are like me and are still learning: at the bottom of every single one of my posts are little boxes you can hit to share my stuff on the likes of facebook and twitter. If you ever really enjoy any of my posts, I would be so honored if you would share it with others. I am anxiously awaiting my first post to go viral.
Thanks to all my loyal readers. Love you all to pieces…Except you anonymous. I don’t love you as much as I love my other people.
alice w. gold 
