Sophia

July’s Game – Joke Contest

If you don’t feel like reading my lead up, just scroll to the bottom and hit the read more button to get the skinny on entering into the July contest for a $20 gift-card of your choice.

The neighbor girls keep telling this really lame joke about a Chinese man who gets to marry a princess because unlike the American or the Italian, he was able to keep his camel from pooping in the dessert voyage. “Me stick cork up camel’s bum.” Then all the kids roar in laughter. I remain dumbfounded.

When I was a kid we had a joke that we thought was HILARIOUS.
It went something like this:
A doctor, a police officer, and a lawyer were captured on a deserted island by savages.
The savages tied them to a tree and told them that they would be dead by sundown.
They said, “We’re savages, but we’re civilized savages, so before we kill you, we’ll tell you what we are going to do to you. We are going to drink all your blood. We are going to use your bones for jewelry. And we are going to use your skin to build canoes.” Then they granted all three one last wish.
The doctor requested a knife and slit his wrists and bled to death.
The police officer requested a rope and hung himself.
The lawyer requested a fork. He proceeded to poke himself all over and resiliently proclaimed,
“To heck with your canoes.”

Hundreds of times, this joke was retold and every joke teller was guaranteed a laugh by all listeners. Nothing like that to encourage a girl to grow up and write on a blog that tries to make people laugh.

So I got an idea.
My contest for July is a joke sharing contest.

It is up to you to share a joke that you think will make my husband and children laugh the hardest.
You can take it off the internet or give me the best you had as a child, but whoever makes them laugh the loudest and longest, will be proclaimed my winner.

The one catch is that the joke must be about three people. The american, italian and german. Or the Bishop, Relief Society President, or primary kid. Or the mom, dad, and grandma….

And get this! If you win, you will receive a $20 gift-card of your choice from me.

You have the whole month to enter here. You can even tell your friends, if you don’t mind some healthy competition. Leave your joke in the comments. Make sure you think hard before you do, as you are only allowed one entry.You have until midnight July 31, 2011.

Come back here on August 1, 2011 and I will post all the jokes but the winning joke and it’s submitter will be featured.. I will also tell you what new contest there will be for August.

Bella just said, “I like this contest.”
Sophia said, “Yeah, it’s going to make us laugh.”

That’s my girls!
I really hope you guys aren’t going to disappoint them.

Funny Beiber

Remember this old Justin Beiber post?

We love Justin Beiber around here.
Sophia especially loves it when we tease her about him.
I am not really in a writing mood,
so I am sharing with you things I find interesting on youtube.
This female version of Justin Beiber rocks house.
I believe her original song is only funny when she performs it.

I overheard another funny conversation at our house the other day.
It has nothing to do with Justin Beiber.
Unless showcasing that my kids are so beyond celebrity worship counts?

I was recently asked to work with the Cub Scout at church.
Yes, the Lord and the church as a whole both have a great sense of humor.
The mother of 4 girls is, of course, the perfect choice to be a Cub Scout Den Leader.
Needless to say, I’ve been trying to psych myself up about it.

Abigail turned to me at church when they announced my newest calling and said,
“Mom, it looks like you are finally going to get your boys.”

So, later that day, I hear this:

Abigail to Bella: Bella, you are gonna have an in with the boys your age now.
Bella: Yeah, I know. Sweet.
Sophia: It’s too bad mom doesn’t get to work with the boys your age
           Abigail.
Abigail: No, I don’t want mom to work with the boys my age,
            I want her to work with the Eagle Scouts.
Sophia: Why?
Abigail: Those older boys are cuter. 14 and 15 year olds are just
             right.
Sophia: But the Eagles Scouts are older than that.
Abigail: Even better.

And I thought for a minute that Abigail was just vying for the more driven boys.
She could care less about Eagle Scout status.
She just wants those older boys.

I love eavesdropping on them.
I am predicting a day in the near future
that I will remind Abigail that she only wants an Eagle Scout.
Gotta keep that conversation at the top of my trick bag.
It may be very handy when LG and I don’t approve a certain somebody.

Back to the original story.
I am happy to now understand more fully
why exactly Justin Beiber is irrelevant at our house.
Apparently my girls only want the Eagle Scouts.

I guess that’s why I have to work in Cub Scouts.
Somebody has to start these boys on the right path.
They have to earn the Eagle to be worthy of my girls.
Or be 4 years older.
Precisely why Justin Beiber would never stand a chance.
How old is that kid? 8?

Sure Signs of Summer
It’s officially summer!

Here is a haiku poem a wrote and memorized 
in the 5th grade.
School is out today.
Here the children scream
yeah yeah.
School must start again.

Pretty deep if you ask me.

I wonder if the kids want me to surprise them with an after-school slurpee again?
I think Caroline is a true Southern girl.
Slurpees are too sour for her tastes.
I think she might prefer icees.

I think we need this oversize chair for all the camping we plan to do.
Or I could just watch slip and slide time out my kitchen window.
Either way, it’s definitely summer.
School is out today.
Hear the mother scream
yeah yeah.
Lazy days I love.

My Little Monsters
Artistic Caroline presented by LG’s smartphone. Such a perfect depiction of her almost 2 year old attitude.
Sophia has been really sick.
And this mom has been really worried.
She didn’t have enough strength 
and was in too much pain 
and couldn’t go to school all last week.
They say she just has two really bad ear infections.
But I am not sure if that is right.
This girl has had A LOT of ear infections.
2 bouts of Swimmer’s ear.
Three sets of PE tubes.
And she has never been like this.
Her lymph nodes were huge on Friday night.
Visibly huge.
I also think she has a little whiplash from her cheer-leading class a few weeks ago.
Thankfully she looks a lot better today.
I am keeping my fingers crossed.
And praying more than crossing my fingers.
Especially since she just said her ear is hurting.
She already had one round of zithromax
and 3 shots of rocephin.
Sophia hasn’t been sleeping as much as she should. 
Her eyes were really really red and bloodshot yesterday.
Despite her lethargy, she was dying to go to church to be the reverence child.
(I looked for a link to an explanation for a reverent child, but I couldn’t find any –
a reverence child is the lucky kid who gets to stand in the front of the LDS sacrament meeting –
they stand with their arms folded and act as an example for the adults to remember reverence.)
Another side note: there is nothing like an assignment to be 10 minutes early for church to make a family 2 minutes late for church. We have been early for the past 6 weeks. Sorry Sophia.
After Sophia got dressed all pretty for church, Abigail voiced her observation:
“Look mom, Sophia looks like Rosalie (from Twilight).
Abigail was right. Sophia looked like she needed some blood bad. And fast!
Now I have two vampire children.
Just what I always wanted.
Thanks to all of our fallen soldiers who made it possible for me to raise a bunch of monsters.
We live in a wondrous country, despite the politicians.

Lessons from the Easter Eggs
Everyone starts with smiles.
Caroline has the best “cheese” ever.
Sophia is a close second.

And how quickly they turn on you.

And turn some more.

 O.k. Caroline, you can have a turn.

Now everybody is happy.

Some like to eat. Some like to show off.
I prefer eating.
And then showing off.

Sophia gave this awesome talk in primary on Easter. She wrote it all by herself.


We are all like Easter eggs.

We are all like Easter eggs because when a chicken lays an egg it is white, smooth, and good to be eaten and it is like Heavenly Father is the chicken and we are the eggs, when Heavenly Father sent us down to earth we were white, smooth, and whole.
When we come to earth it is like we are in a package and our parents keep us in the safe package until we are eight. When we are eight and get baptized, we have to take care of our own egg.
When we sin our egg gets dirty and gross. Sometimes people sin so bad that it’s like their egg breaks apart and splatters all over the kitchen floor.
For the egg to go back to Heavenly Father, it has to be white pure and how it was when you came to earth. But, when we mess up our eggs, we can’t fix the egg by ourselves. If we tried to clean up our eggs ourselves it would just get more and more broken and make a bigger mess.
The only one who can fix us or forgive us (or our egg) is Jesus Christ. So when we sin, we have to ask for Jesus Christ to use the Atonement to fix our egg. The only way Jesus Christ could make it possible to fix our eggs was for Him to atone for our sins in the Garden of Gethsemane and to die for us on the cross.
I want to keep my egg clean white and non-broken and I am very happy that Jesus Christ will fix my egg even when it gets dirty and disgusting and broken.


Jam Making
A few weeks back our family studied
The Family: A Proclamation to The World.
This was a timely declaration made by our living prophet.
It is filled with wisdom and truth.
We discussed with the kids this line:
“Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities.”
We came up with the best ways our family could work on living these principles.
This is what the kids came up with:

 
Faith – Read scriptures daily.
Prayer – Everyone pray more often.
Repentence – Admitting when were wrong and saying sorry.
Forgiveness – Not being upset, loving in return.
Respect – Listening /Put ups instead of Put Downs
Love –  I cannot hurt /Breathe/Support Each Other
Compassion – Include Everyone
Work – Everyone Pitch In
Wholesome Recreational Activities – Activity Jar
 
As I pondered how to implement these things into our home I felt inspired that I needed to take the lead. I have personally been wanting to work on being actively engaged with the kids. I want to lead by example. I want to be more kind. I want to be more respectful and quiet. I want to work hand in hand.
 
I found some strawberries on sale last week.
99 cents for 2 quarts. 
That’s a steal.
The fruit was bought and so was the Sure-Jel.
It was time for some jam making.
 
I felt a feeling that instead of making jam alone that I should include the whole family.
I decided that we would forgo our typical sit down Family Home Evening lesson
and work together.
 
This turned out to be one of the best evenings we’ve spent together as a family.
We worked on the jam, each taking turns with the different jobs.
When we got through the kids burst out into a impromptu jam session.
We never work without music around here.
There was such a feeling of love and cooperation and industry.
I was so happy. 
We had Strawberry Cake for dessert and sat down to
sing, pray, and read from the scriptures about work.
The girls made up a great song.
I am so grateful to a God who listens to my prayers
and answers them.
He answers when I take time to talk to Him honestly
and to listen to Him when he talks back to me
through the Holy Spirit.
I love my family.
They are the best.
I am so glad God has given us tools to learn together and grow closer.
And now, every member of my family knows how to make jam,
but I doubt they will ever want to do it without someone with who they can jam at the same time.
What a sweet evening.
Oh and inquiring minds want to know, I am sure.
The homemade freezer jam recipe is a piece of cake.

Buy a box of sure-jel, a couple quarts of strawberries, and a lot of sugar, and you are good to go.
Make sure you have a freezer safe container.
And did I mention A LOT of sugar.
There is NO better jam in the world.
So yummy.
I’m going to have some now.
All the sudden I am starving.

The Public Library
One of our first stops here in our new home was the Public Library.
for new library cards.
Of course.
The library is a poor man’s friend. It is the smart man’s friend and it’s my sanity.
I love public libraries.
And I love our new library.
It’s humongous! 
There is a whole basement of movies, books on tape and music.
There is also a whole wing of children’s book with a whole upstairs of more advanced readers for middle school age.
Just thought you might like some of the photos of the view from the front of the library.

This is where you go if you don’t turn your books back in time.
He he

And look, we have blossoms here almost as pretty as in Tennessee.

We live in a wonderful place where we not only have beautiful mountains but also a lot of people who think literacy is important.

We are really looking forward to the world-famous Timpanogas StoryTelling Festival.