Bedtime and Parenting

Here are the girls. They are finally asleep. Notice that they all sleep on their stomachs. (they want to be like their Mom)

Bedtime is easy for us. The girls go to sleep pretty good most of the time. After watching Super Nanny, I have learned that this is not the case for many parents. I would like to give some really good parenting advice here (even if yougottawanna thinks that I don’t know what I am doing):

I read this yesterday in a book that my sister recommended. I wish that I could photocopy it and give it to some of the ladies at church. 🙂

Parenting Young Children
There are three main styles of parenting. The three that are most common are giving orders, giving in, and giving choices.

Giving Orders: This Style of parenting is often called authoritarian. The parents are strict. They set a lot of rules. The children are expected to obey the rules exactly. Often strict parents reward of punish children to keep them in line.Rewards lead the children to expect payment for ‘being good’. When children are punished for ‘being bad’, they may learn to fear and resent parents. Children need freedom to grow and learn. They also need the chance to make choices [all you homeschoolers who are afraid to let your kids out of your sight]. This lets them learn limits and responsibility.

Giving In: Giving in is also called permissive parenting. Permissive paretns set no limits. Children grow up without guidelines. The parents give in to whatever the children may want. We often say that these children are ‘spoiled’. Without limits, children will have trouble getting along with others. These children usually learn to do as they please. They don’t learn to care about the feelings and rights of others. Society sets limits. Children with no limits on their behavior will have difficulty learning how to behave in society. [so, all you parents who think that you are letting your children be creative and do whatever they want, you aren’t doing them any favors.]

Giving choices: ….the democratic method of giving choices is the most effective.Democratic parenting is based on equality and respect. We all have different abilities, responsibilites, and experiences. But we are still worthwhile as humans.Does this mean that your child has the same privileges as you do? No. It means that you recognize the importance of your child’s wishes. It also means that you involve your child in decision making when appropriate. Democratic parents give a child choices that fit the child’s age and development. Young children’s ablility to make choices is limited. They can’t yet depend on themselves to keep the rules. They need adults to set limits for them. When children go past the limits, they need parents to follow through with consequences. The democratic method helps children become responsible. It does this by giving choices within set limits.A democratic parenting style gives young children freedom within limits. Children learn that their choices count and carry responsibility. They learn respect.


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