Only in Utah

Let’s Party

In the past year, as I’ve delved into the facebook world, I have been amazed at the achievements of my high school classmates. (BTW – if you haven’t liked me on facebook yet, you can do it here, or on the sidebar.)

Joe Weirzbecki is a tea-party guru.

Alex and Chelsea are the founders of BreezyMama.

I already told you about Ted Johnson.

Jeff Keirns is a producer in the world of Reality TV.

Ty Gurney runs a successful surf school in Hawaii.

But some of the achievements that I have been the most impressed with are the ones I won’t reveal. They are the few classmates who have confided in me about their sobriety. I am so proud of them for realizing that they had a problem, and doing something about it. I am so grateful for Alcoholics Anonymous that helps so many people realize their dreams. I am such a huge believer in the 12 steps and have found great happiness in my life by following its principles with my codependency. Sometimes just living a normal healthy life is the best accomplishment of all. And really, we all have addictions to overcome. It takes a lot of courage to admit that.

My high school is a party school. Party party party all the time.

It’s no wonder to me that as young as high school, many of my classmates were forming an addiction to alcohol and marijuana. Their influences were everywhere. Many parents encouraged the partying. They were the cool ones back in the day. Maybe they still are.

I am anxious to go back to my high school reunion as the party scene is something I haven’t done in a very long time. Being around people who are drunk or high was something my husband never experienced in his life, until he became a juvenile attorney and a lot of his clients were addicts. He never knew what they are going to say or do. Here is a hilarious news story that all nursing mothers should read and laugh. They will then instantly lay off the booze. Unless they want to risk using breast-milk as a their weapon of choice against the law enforcement.

At my reunion there will be party before the parties. Parties after the parties. And parties the next day. Did I tell you that I attended a party school? Well, apparently the parties are still in full force.I hope my partying classmates will be respectful of the non-par-tiers. I hope they will realize that even if alcohol isn’t a problem in their life, that it has indeed stolen years from some of our classmates. I hope that they will applaud those who aren’t drinking, instead of naively pressuring them to party on dude. Surely, we are all old enough now to acknowledge the ill effects of drinking, especially for addicts. For those of my classmates that are sober (or Mormon), I just read today about a specialty drink called The Utah Sunset you can order.

It is such a different world being a Mormon. We went to my sister in law Jill’s birthday party last night. In attendance were a bunch of 20 somethings. There was no alcohol, but much laughter. They played ninja and whole body twister. And they laughed all night long. I believe they all went home with no regrets.

Now onto me.

All you loyal readers know how hard I’ve been working at sprucing up the blog so that I could monetize.

I am proud to announce today that I have a new lucky number.

I guess it’s now seven.

Today marks the day that I’ve had

1007 posts

5370 comments.

This month I’ve had 6,701 hits.

And the best of all:

I have earned my first 2.74 cents.

My old lucky number was 11.

It is now retired.

I have 211 spam comments in my spam box.

For some reason most of those tried to post naked pictures on Donna’s Birthing Story. Go figure. Trust me when I tell you that you should be very happy that blogger has advanced enough to know how to block the spam from publishing.

So,

I’m partying today.

Like it’s 1997.

The year I got married.

Not like, 1991, the year I graduated high school.

I don’t need alcohol for my happiness.

In fact, I believe my happiness is better when it can be achieved without alcohol.

Blogging Sabbatical

Hi everyone.
Wow I am late getting this post out today.
Sorry.
Kind of.

We went camping last night. So fun.
I decided that Utah is the perfect place for camping.
Gorgeous, everywhere you look.
We got to take the bike trail to Bridal Veil Falls.
Come and join us any time.
But please don’t expect us to ice climb.

Then I came home and cleaned out the garage.
And have been doing the after camping duties.
Laundry x6.
Cooler cleaning.
Car excavating.
etc.

Then I remembered that it was Kids’ Day
at our local Grocery Store, Macey’s.
We ran over for the last hour.
Hot dog, chips and a soda for 25 cents.
Free popcorn, ice-cream, and bounce houses.
25 cent cotton candy.
Yum yum.
To think we almost missed out.
I love Macey’s extra large flag.
It makes me want to shop no where else.
I will be showing you more photos real soon.
I can’t get enough of the blue skies, mountain ranges, and flying red white and blues.

At 3:00, I was in total awe at how much we had accomplished today.
We had also snuck in Bella’s baseball game and team pictures.
And don’t forget that we broke camp this morning.

Anyhow, I’ve been busy. And taking lots of pictures for future posts.
And I wanted you all to know that I haven’t been slacking.
Have you seen all the new changes on the blog?
I am liking them very much.
Notice the box at the top left. It shows my Top 5 Commenters.
It looks like Sheila and Holly are going to have to duke it out for that write up next month.
I can’t wait to see who pulls it off.

And I can’t wait to tell you about my new game to play next month.
I am using this creative brain of mine to try and come up with fun that you can experience no where else.
Funny needs to be fun too.

I also am featuring my very first ad from Deseret Book. Wahoo.

If you haven’t taken the time yet to like me on facebook, or become a google follower, please do take a minute. It will help me out a lot. And I will love you forever regardless.

Also, check out my new community on blogfrog. I am excited to make it grow. I have joined other blogging communities at blogfrog and it has introduced me to other bloggers I would have never met otherwise. I think blogfrog is great. You can also access my community through the tab up top. Pretty snazzy.

Hope you are all having a wonderful weekend.

Funny Beiber

Remember this old Justin Beiber post?

We love Justin Beiber around here.
Sophia especially loves it when we tease her about him.
I am not really in a writing mood,
so I am sharing with you things I find interesting on youtube.
This female version of Justin Beiber rocks house.
I believe her original song is only funny when she performs it.

I overheard another funny conversation at our house the other day.
It has nothing to do with Justin Beiber.
Unless showcasing that my kids are so beyond celebrity worship counts?

I was recently asked to work with the Cub Scout at church.
Yes, the Lord and the church as a whole both have a great sense of humor.
The mother of 4 girls is, of course, the perfect choice to be a Cub Scout Den Leader.
Needless to say, I’ve been trying to psych myself up about it.

Abigail turned to me at church when they announced my newest calling and said,
“Mom, it looks like you are finally going to get your boys.”

So, later that day, I hear this:

Abigail to Bella: Bella, you are gonna have an in with the boys your age now.
Bella: Yeah, I know. Sweet.
Sophia: It’s too bad mom doesn’t get to work with the boys your age
   Abigail.
Abigail: No, I don’t want mom to work with the boys my age,
   I want her to work with the Eagle Scouts.
Sophia: Why?
Abigail: Those older boys are cuter. 14 and 15 year olds are just
   right.
Sophia: But the Eagles Scouts are older than that.
Abigail: Even better.

And I thought for a minute that Abigail was just vying for the more driven boys.
She could care less about Eagle Scout status.
She just wants those older boys.

I love eavesdropping on them.

I am predicting a day in the near future

that I will remind Abigail that she only wants an Eagle Scout.

Gotta keep that conversation at the top of my trick bag.

It may be very handy when LG and I don’t approve a certain somebody.

Back to the original story.
I am happy to now understand more fully
why exactly Justin Beiber is irrelevant at our house.
Apparently my girls only want the Eagle Scouts.

I guess that’s why I have to work in Cub Scouts.
Somebody has to start these boys on the right path.
They have to earn the Eagle to be worthy of my girls.
Or be 4 years older.
Precisely why Justin Beiber would never stand a chance.
How old is that kid? 8?

C Jane’s Rooftop Concert

I have blogged several times about my new favorite blog.

CJane

I sent Courtney (who happens to be NieNie’s funny sister) an e-mail and asked her to guest post,

but I believe she has been so dang busy with

her rooftop concert series

that she hasn’t been able to respond.

I do give her the benefit of the doubt

because I really like her.

And decided I should keep reading her, even if she doesn’t read me.

And I really appreciate her sense of humor, her love for Provo and her efforts in the FREE rooftop series.

Did you hear the word FREE?

You all know how frugal I’ve become.

I jumped all over this opportunity.

I could satisfy my husband’s love for jazz AND maybe hopefully run into my favorite blogger.

One out of two ain’t bad.

We had a blast.

We got to listen to Mindy Gledhill, whom I really love.

And LG and I both got to check out a new Canadian artist that is all the rage: Meaghan Smith.

She was awesome. LG loved the souped up jazz form that is all her own.

I know crappy picture, but you all know my camera has been broken for a year.

I just thought you would like to have proof that we were actually there.

And, wow, what a view from the rooftop.

I love Utah.

I love my old workplace: NuSkin.

I love the mountains.

And I love our blue skies.

They just seem so much bluer than Knoxville’s.

These really sweet college co-eds let us squeeze in front of them.
The rooftop was packed, and we arrived late because I mistakenly thought that concert was at Provo Town Center, not Provo Town Square.

We thought it was so funny that one of our sweet concert friends was smack dab in the middle of our self pic.
She suggested we take one without her in it.
I told her I was going to do a before and after on the blog,
but she never asked for the blog address.
I guess it’s better that way.

Man, I need to color my hair desperately.
Wally world has been out of my color for weeks.

Here is another one of our newest friends, she is trying to hide from my behind the head shot.

I was trying to document how crowded the place was.

It was nervous making.

LG’s lawyer came out in him and he commented several times that we had to be breaking some fire-code and that if we had an earthquake we would all be done.

O.k maybe that wasn’t the lawyer in him, maybe it was the claustrophobia speaking.

One of the most fun things about attending a really crowded space, is people watching.
You got a picture yesterday of the chubby little boy next to us with chocolate all over his face.
I also tried to capture the family with 5 kids a few rows up. The dad was so cute wearing that baby backpack, but once again my crappy camera disappointed.

LG and I are always dumfounded at the new styles.
We are so behind the times.
We pegged this guy as gay for sure.
But, then he was all lovey with the lady.
Chalk another one up to old age.

Raising Boys

As you all know, I know nothing about raising boys. Well, I should give myself some credit. I do know a few things. Just from what I have heard from friends:

baby boys require vaseline and guaze.
the boys in kindergarten mark territory by spreading crayons, trash, and glue as far spread as possible (direct contrast to the girls who all keep their stuff neat and tidy) There has to be some kind of case study here between the hunting vs. gathering instincts.
boys are way less whiny but way more active.
boys are dirty and stinky and pee everywhere.
boys don’t require hair styling. (how lucky)
boys tear holes in their jeans twice as much as girls do.
boys hit.
boys love sand and dirt. (but so do my girls)
boys eat more.

What am I missing here mommas? Please do tell me. I can only live vicariously.

All I can think about right now is this old post.

10. boys have more butt crack.

Check out this chubby boy that was sitting next to us at this concert.
LG and I feel so cultured. We have attended 2 concerts in a month’s time. Utah is good for us, I think.
He was part of some of the best entertainment of the night for LG and I. How darling is he?
Hope his mom won’t mind the posted picture. She was busy on her phone allowing me to steal this gem without asking permission.

Check out this tagline contest I won today . It’s so great to have your creative juices recognized from time to time. And I really like the lesson the picture teaches. I know nothing of boys, but if a picture like this got taken, I know one thing only, dad was not around. Ladies, dress your boys macho. I want my girls to have some real manly men to marry someday.

Funny Dads are best

Check out the dad who dressed up every day of school last year to wave his son off.

He has entertained his son, all the kids on the bus, his neighbors, and a whole lot more via the world wide web.

I am so grateful his wife recorded every single outfit.

This is my kind of guy. Thanks to whoever you are that turned me on to the local Utah County phenomenon by sharing this news article on their facebook.

I looked and laughed at every single picture.

I wish I had ideas as good.

I wish more people in this world could turn away from the wicked stuff and just go back to having a good old time.

My Tennessee influence has to claim this get up the winner of all.

But now that I am in Utah again,

this is a very close second.

I wonder if they played missionary tag that day at school

in honor of the ultimate funny dad?

Right At Home

I was thrilled when I discovered this little Baptist church down the street.

It made me feel right at home.

I think the Western Baptist’s ingenuity may need some upgrading,

but I will take what I can get.

Do you think that this sign is saying I love you God three times?

Or is it God saying he loves us three times?

Either way I find it ironic

that

the sign

is the same sentiment

for the Mormons and the Baptists.

We all love God.

And He loves all of us.

Sure Signs of Summer

It’s officially summer!

Here is a haiku poem a wrote and memorized

in the 5th grade.

School is out today.

Here the children scream

yeah yeah.

School must start again.

Pretty deep if you ask me.

I wonder if the kids want me to surprise them with an after-school slurpee again?

I think Caroline is a true Southern girl.

Slurpees are too sour for her tastes.

I think she might prefer icees.

I think we need this oversize chair for all the camping we plan to do.

Or I could just watch slip and slide time out my kitchen window.

Either way, it’s definitely summer.

School is out today.

Hear the mother scream

yeah yeah.

Lazy days I love.

Missionary Tag

At dinner the other night Abigail started telling us about her experience at school with missionary tag. Not a missionary tag that you wear on your lapel, but a game that you play at school.

I was more than curious. The social influence of LDS culture astounds me, and I am now living through the eyes of my children. There was no missionary tag in Tennessee. I found the idea very entertaining, as I knew it had to be a game made up by some Mormon some time in the last 200 year history. I enquired further. So, how do you play missionary tag?

Abigail responded: “well everyone has a partner.”

Oh, yes indeed. Missionary tag was referring to Mormonism. You see, just like the animals in the ark, God sends Mormon missionaries out to testify two by two. Whenever you see a Mormon missionary preaching anywhere in the world, they will always be accompanied by a companion. When I was a Mormon missionary I had a companion in eye’s view every minute of 18 months, except when I was in the bathroom. You would think I would be a better wife after having that kind of training.

In the mouth of two or three witnesses shall every word be established, 2 Corinthians 13:1

Apparently that translates into a school playground game where everyone has a partner.

Before I let Abigail explain any further, I started heckling a bit. Just because that’s what we do.

me: So, you get a partner and then you go and find your bikes.

Abigail: No mom.

me: Oh yeah, that’s lame, not all missionaries have bikes, um, after you get a partner, you kneel down to pray?

Abigail: Mom, you are so lame sometimes.

me: After you get your partner, you run inside and whoever find a Book of Mormon first wins.

Abigail: Are you done yet?

me: After you get your partner, you sing Called to Serve.

Abigail: Mom, I am not going to tell you if you don’t stop.

me: So, you get a partner, and then….

LG: Alice, it’s not funny.

me: really?

LG and Abigail in unison: Really.

awww man. I was laughing. I thought I was hilarious.

Abigail went on to explain the rules of partner tag. But just so you know, in case you ever visit, in Utah, classic partner tag is called Missionary tag. Even a simple little schoolyard game has been inundated with Mormon doctrine…much like many other facets of living in this great state.

Of course I am loving it.

Rocky Mountain High

Here’s the view from my front window.
The mountain is called Timpanogos.
Timp is my newest best friend.
Her majesty is almost as good
as my old best friends
among the Smoky Mountains in Tennessee.
But not quite.

I do believe that I spend more of my time
with her
every day
than I ever did with my friends in Knoxville.

Sometimes I just wish that she could talk back.
But I think she is just trying to figure out if
I am Rocky Mountain High
or I am just plain crazy.
I don’t have the heart to tell her
it’s probably a little of both.

That’s not the kind of thing that you
tell your new friends right off the bat.
It takes years to build that kind of re pore.
No wonder why she can’t compete.
We’ve only known each other for a month.

I’ll let you know how the friendship evolves.
I hope she will eventually appreciate me
as much as I appreciate her.
Besides my family,
she is most definitely the highlight of my day.