FunnyBlog

Be proud

Do you hate going out in public in your swimsuit?

Here is the only picture I could find on my hard drive of me in a swimsuit. Conveniently, most of my body is still covered.

I know that I look downright awful in a swimsuit, but I get in one anyway. Why? Because I love to swim and I love to have fun with my kids!

My mother would NEVER swim with us. I am not sure of the reasons.

Maybe she was too cheap to buy a swimsuit?

Or maybe she didn’t dare wear one from the DAV, where she bought ALL of her clothes? (Disabled Veterans Army or something was the name of my mom’s favorite thrift store in Oceanside, CA – I spent literal days there while growing up – I can still smell the place)

Or maybe mom used to swim but, she gave up trying to have fun at the beach after the 4th child, which just so happened to be me?

I really should ask her. I think she may be a little afraid of the water. I cannot recall her EVER getting in the water with us at a pool or a beach.

I do recall many water fights. I mean the woman knew how to have fun, but she just had to have her clothes on.

Well, if you are one of THOSE moms, I implore you to just get in the pool. Your kids don’t care. And, really nobody else does either. Let go of the gawking teenagers.

If you need a little extra motivation, read this. (you’re welcome to Mindi for the link love) If you haven’t read the link yet, go on, Mindi will make you laugh and give you some much needed confidence.

And if Mindi’s story doesn’t work, maybe mine will.

The other day while at the fountains with the kids, I took off my pants to go out in the water with Brayden, my niece Lily started to stare at me. She kept staring for about 15 minutes. I was starting to get a little uncomfortable, but kept reminding myself that she in only five.

I was relieved when Lily finally busted out with. “Emo, (this is what she calls me, it means Aunt in Korean) you have very strong legs. They are stronger than mine.” Her bust out made me bust out. Yeah, they are strong alright. They’ve got to be so they can provide a place for all that cellulite. Well, it was nice to have that over with. Once she said her peace, she ran off to play and I could finally get out from under a child’s scrutiny.

But, hey, I now know that my legs are strong, whereas before I just always thought that they were the place my body prefers to store my fat.

Trust

We’ve been married 10 years and 10 months.
It’s needless to say that I trust the man.
So, when the temptation was offered, I hopped on back.
Who wouldn’t trust a man with a face like that?
He lured me into a sense of false security.
It was a perfect day to enjoy the scenery on the back of a four wheeler.

A dare was given.

And no double dogs were necessary.

Somewhere in the middle of all this water,

LG and I are either affixed on top of the four wheeler, or catching air.

And then, the air became very very muddy.

And, yes, I still trust the man.

And I trust that George fixed the four wheeler’s damage.

And, this damage is also history.

As well as any of the other reasons
the man has given me not to trust him.
That’s the beauty of a marriage.
Next time there is an opportunity for four wheeling.
You know that silly old me will be the perfect back seat passenger.
Or maybe he should show his trust in me and let me drive?

Almost Heaven

West Virginia

Blue Ridge Mountains

Shanendoah River

Life is old there.

Older than the trees.

Younger than the mountains.

Growin like a breeze.

Country Roads.

Take me home.

To the place, I belong.

West Virginia.

Mountain Momma.

Take me home.

Country Roads.

All my memories.

Gather ’round her.

Miner’s lady.

Stranger to blue water.

Dark and dusty.

Painted on the sky.

Misty taste of moonshine (or hamburgers)

Teardrop in my eye.Country Roads.Take me home.To the place I belong.
West Virginia

Mountain Momma.
Take me home.
Country Roads.

I hear her voice.

In the morning hour she calls me.


The radio (or campfire songs) reminds me of my home far away.

And drivin down the road,

I get a feelin


that I should have been home


Yesterday.

Yesterday.


Country Roads.

Take me home.

To the place.


I belong.

West Virginia.

Father’s Day

I just read Katie’s post, and was thinking that I never got around to my Father’s Day post.

LG got a new video game. He is very happy.
He loves playing video games with his kids, as you can see.


Why didn’t I post about him like I sat down to do on Saturday night?

Well I was so tired from busily trying to be a good wife. We went and helped move furniture for LeGrand’s dad on Friday night. It was his father’s day gift to surprise him with a new office. (I am going to have to store that really good maneuver by LG’s mom for future reference.)

Then we got home and worked in the yard. I remembered that we had better do something for the dad’s at church. We had to go to Sam’s and buy candy bars, and then I had to go and play the piano for the Varnon’s so they could practice their father’s day song. I got home and got things ready for LG’s dinner of choice (taco salad, yuck!) Got everything ready for Sunday. Sat down to try and blog out my Father’s Day message while the iron was getting hot. LG was already asleep and I remembered that it would be a shame for him to have to iron his own shirt of Father’s Day.

The first post that I read, was this. Thanks for the reminder Cally. I had told myself on Monday that I would not go to church one more time without dying my hair. It needed to be done approximately two months ago.

So, LG, you know I love you. You know that all your girls adore you. I was and still am too tired to post a nice thing about you like Katie did. But, I hope you enjoyed your ironed shirt, sac mtg. musical number, taco salad, and candy bar. (I know I really do owe you a Snickers that wasn’t on sale for the tint of coconut that you hate)

And, I am so glad that you are enjoying your video game for family home evening. Sophia is going to be the best video playin fool of a girl that was ever raised by her son less father.

My fam

I am still trying to get to the rest of my West Virginia posts. Those pictures just take so long to load…I am just going to use the excuse that they are still loading, but you all know there is really no new post because I am babysitting two extra kids all summer and filling my nights assisting my hubby with his new practice.

Here is a side note for the time being, just so that you will all know that I am still alive.

One of the main reasons I wanted a blog was to have a place to write the stories of my crazy family. I have six crazy brothers and sisters. (o.k., everyone is crazy except maybe Shannon ) I love them all, and love that they all still love me, even when I am the craziest one of all.

Here is a picture of my family back in 2001. I was eight months pregnant but I have this wonderful talent of just looking extra fat when I am pregnant. And, don’t you love my horrible KD Lang cut? Wow, I must of had that horrible mental condition that causes hair style choice trauma. Or it could have been the fault of that student hair dresser that just couldn’t wait to whack my hair off without any concern for my style. I was just thinking the other day that I have no idea why I didn’t wear a wig. This is the latest Wills family photo and it’s been hanging on my wall for 7 years.

O.k. the reason for this post. The family all seems to be joining my blogging family as well. I would say that my influence is unending, but my whole family has known about my blog since I started it in 2005.

So, here are the links to the youngest Wills, Renee, and the oldest Wills, Erick.. Their posts may give you something to read while I patiently wait for school to start again so that I can get back to my blogging business.

And a short family memory that Erick’s latest post just brought back to me. Growing up, our driveway was completely smeared with engine oil. All of those old and leaky cars did quite the number on our concrete. We used to play basketball on that driveway. We played basketball a lot. It was pretty gross. And, also tricky playing when you had to keep the ball from ever touching the ground.

And, when the ball got away from us, whoever was the youngest and/or most adventurous was expected to chase the ball down the long hill until they caught up to the ball and retrieved it. I can remember finally catching up to the ball, almost all the way to the Cabacugans one time. They were the second closest Mormon family from our house…yeah, about 1/2 mile down the road and a 1/4 mile after the turn off to the Youngs.

We really did get our exercise growing up, whether we liked it or not. Man, I must be the sibling with the flattest neighborhood now. I am surely the most out of shape. Maybe I need a basketball hoop. I am probably the only grown Wills child without one. (What’s up with that, my hubby was probably one of the only one’s that actually played basketball in High School – something is wrong with this picture)

You’ve arrived at your destination.

A few weekends back, we went to visit George’s home away from home. George Karnes is our good friend and his family roots go way back in a place call Ten Mile, West Virginia.
Here are some pictures of our journey. For those of you not interested in our travelogue (including pictures of our children) you must ignore the next several posts.
We arrived in West VA without too many problems. We decided to make our journey a little more adventurous and let LG navigate while I drove. Mostly, he just HAD to do the navigating because George had let us borrow his GPS, and LG couldn’t wait to use it. Trusting a GPS 100% is not just a bad idea, but a completely stupid thing to do. We should have never had that darn little evil device. We would have been better off trying to follow George’s written directions and stopping and asking locals when we were unsure. We didn’t figure this out until we drove about our 50th mile. Yep, we most definitely missed that 10th mile our first time around.
After missing one interstate connection, we wasted about 30 miles. We knew we were finally getting close when we started to see license plates like this.
hmmm….cheat Mtn….sounds like a place Mormons should not visit.
And where would West Virginia be without the coal industry?
Probably in the dark, like the rest of the country.
George had warned us that the gas prices were higher up there.
It’s a good thing we filled up in Virginia.
This is when we started to be lulled into a false sense of security.
We had reached Buckhannon with only one wrong turn.
When we finally reached Ten Mile, we were approximately one hour later than expected.
We had called George from where we should have turned off the last road of true civilization.
He expected us 10 minutes later. Oh, but how George grossly underestimated our ability to sight see.
And for our three day stay, we would all try figure out where our GPS had taken us.
Using our best detective skills, we combed through my photos on my camera.
We would all be fired as Nancy Drew. We all missed this sign. LG and I had traveled up the civilized highway about 10 additional miles before we made one very wrong turn onto Sago Drive. (Maybe this is why they call the place ten mile – you have to drive 10 additional miles in every direction until you find the place) The wrong turn made for some very fun travel on crazy old mining roads.
My camera didn’t seem to mind.
What a nice place West Virginia is. They have these little red sheltered bus stops along the school bus route. (Don’t you think a kid could get into some trouble inside one of these? – They must really trust their kids, huh? – There is no way that I would let my kids hang out in one of these, at age 6 or 16…both ages could be very very dangerous for different reasons, if you know what I mean, it only takes two minutes – and those of you that read me often, know what I am implying here.)
Here is the coal mine. The first I have ever seen in real life.
It really brings home the stories that I have heard only on the news.
I guess this is the actual mine of the most recent mining tragedy.
West Virginia is also known for it’s lumber industry.
Between old mining and lumber roads, West Virginia is the perfect place for four wheeling.
This adventure will be in another post.
And, the cows.
All of the family was moaning and groaning because I just HAD to take their pictures.
These pictures would be a HUGE part in piecing the puzzle together of our GPS backwoods tour adventure.
Here was another piece of the puzzle.
Notice the reference to the”red man”.
There is something very liberating about visiting a place that hasn’t been forced to catch up to the rest of the politically correct world.
Sure tale sign that we were REALLY lost.
The wild life turns from domesticated cows to undomesticated dear.
The hubby and kids in the car are also turning into wild life at this point.
And, at some point, our GPS decided to tell us that we had “arrived at our destination”.
There was one problem, we saw nothing. I mean absolutely NOTHING but trees.
Could George and Lanette’s hideaway be THAT hid away?
We started asking locals where to go.
They were able to look at us crazily and question how we had gotten so far off track.
One very kind man was able to direct us back.
He read our directions and said,
“Oh honey, you are looking for ten mile. How did you get way up here?”
He said, “When you see the tunnel (well it’s kind of a culvert – note to self, look up culvert) you will be close.
This is the tunnel that George told us not to travel under on the way in.
We never saw it until our way back. We were so happy to drive through it.
Side note: a culvert is a drain or waterway under a road.
We should have just followed these tracks in.
Ten Mile got it’s name by being the tenth mile on the tracks.
Knowing our sense of direction, we would have followed the wrong set of tracks.
Oh, wow, look at this. The tracks do go RIGHT to George and Lanette’s front porch.
That’s our car. We had finally arrived.

Don’t you think the view alone was worth our hour long adventure in the back woods. (You can all sing along now….a one hour tour, a one hour tour.) Oh, wow, we could really take this Gilligan theme song through the whole story….

Just sit right back and you’ll hear a tale, a tale of a fateful trip
That started from this K-ville port, aboard this tiny Ship.
The mate was a GPS trusting man, a driver brave and sure

And, there is nothing like, joining up with the family at a campfire.
Of course, there was a campfire. It was dark outside, duh?

This picture was taken the next day.

George and Lanette wanted us to forgive them for that stupid GPS.

They sure know how to flatter.