FunnyBlog

Potty Rhyme

Check out this article.

The Japanese think we need more poetry in our public restrooms.

Their studies show it will cut down on t.p. use.

Here is the bathroom rhyme I always learned in California.

Mind you it’s from a drought and environmentalist state:

If it’s yellow, let it mellow,

if it’s brown flush it down.

If I see some stranger’s yellow or brown in a public toilet,

it surely cuts down on my paper use…

it’s called I won’t go anywhere near that toilet,

much less use the paper.

Do you have any un-obscene bathroom poetry that you love?

I love to find a cute or inspiring thing in a bathroom stall.

We should start a sharpie revolution for the environment.

My day

This is Kitty Bear.

She’s a big part of my day today.

Yesterday I was having contractions at church.

I’m only 19 weeks.

I came home to put my feet up and they stopped.

Even though I am assured that everything will be fine with the baby,

I vowed to take it easy for the next few days.

So, last night, Bella goes to bed with a fever and thrashes through the night.

LG also goes to bed with a fever and a sick stomach and also thrashes through the night.

This morning I drug up LG with some Dayquil so that he can go to court.

As he leaves the house trying not to puke I hear his voice trail quietly, “I need a partner so bad.”

I drug up Bella with some Tylenol because her fever is higher.

I wait for LG to return.

He looks ghost white and sweaty.

I put him to bed.

I put Abigail in charge and run Kitty Bear to the vet.

Kitty Bear pees all over me and my van on the way. I have been meaning to buy a kitty crate and never got around to it. Kitty Bear did not like that pillow case. I threw it away.

I watched Kitty Bear scratch the vet’s eyes out while she got her vaccines and her tapeworm treatment.

I get an education about tapeworm. In the bottle it is all wound up like a spring and about 3 feet long. Kitty Bear has one of those inside of her. Yuck!

I go home. Everyone is managing and Bella seems to feel a little better. LG is knocked out.

I put Abigail in charge again and run to the store for whatever I can find that is a kid’s form of Dayquil. It worked for LG and I want it for Bella.

Abigail calls me at the store. Sophia is throwing up.

I run some groceries by a friend’s house who believe it or not has it worse than me today.

I run home.

I drug up Sophia and Bella.

Abigail and I do a little dance because we are the only members of the family who are not throwing up.

I forgot how violent it is when a man is hurling out his guts over a toilet.

I get everyone situated and make the rest of my Relief Society phone calls to make sure all the other sick people at church are taken care of.

I make dinner, clean up the disaster of a house, and sit. And try to find somewhere to put my feet up. It doesn’t matter because I only get to sit for five minutes.

It’s bedtime for Abigail and Bella and Sophia is thrashing.

I take care of Sophia and LG some more.

I do a load of laundry because the kids need their favorite pj’s for school tomorrow.

I then realize that LG needs a shirt ironed for court tomorrow.

I iron.

Kitty Bear is making weird noises.

She throws up all over the carpet.

Sophia then proclaims that Abigail and I are indeed the only members of the family who aren’t sick.

I feel another contraction and remember that I was supposed to be taking it easy today.

So much for that.

If this baby is to survive I think it must be a girl.

One more week and we shall see.

The good: Because I have been home playing nurse, I had time to blog today.

The bad: I will more than likely be up all night.

The ugly: The fact I have been wearing a shirt with cat pee on it since 11 am this morning.

Ay Curumba

Whenever I am tempted to think that my husband lacks romance, I will just remember this.

LG may not have ever proposed,

and he may have chosen our wedding night hotel solely for the all you can eat breakfast.

But, at least he married me in a magnificent place.

What happened to us?

In 11 and a half years,

we went from the Salt Lake temple to having a date at McDonald’s the other night.

But I will take some comfort.

With their new McCafe’s, they are almost as classy as Starbucks now. 🙂

Stand By Me

Who doesn’t love being stood by?

Especially from around the world.

Girls Night Out

I passed a note on Sunday asking the counselor in the Bishopric to make an announcement.

It said, “Come to enrichment on Thursday and work on a project or play basketball.”

He looked at LG and said, “Is she serious?”

Yep, dead serious. The counselor could barely read it over the pulpit without a chuckle.

“Hey”, I screamed. “If the boys can play and the kids can play, why not the women?”
(O.k. I didn’t scream this out loud in case you were worried…it was just in my head)

And just in case the basketball isn’t tempting enough, who doesn’t want to work on a project?

O.k. maybe projects aren’t that appealing BUT with company of NO children and NO men, but other chatty women and food, what woman can resist? Especially if they don’t actually have to work.

We shall see if we get more than 5 women out tonight.

Thanks to Jennifer for being the most aweseme enrichment leader ever.

She’s going to move away and leave me hanging. How dare she!

And a sidenote here. We have decided to combine our mini-classes into one night and go back to having one enrichment a month. With the same 10 women attending it was just too much to try and do something once a week. And we all want to be enriched. So, once a month, we will have three hours to try three new things. I am pumped. If you are LDS and outside the state of Utah, what do you do to make your enrichment miniclasses work?