Church Signs

Rear View Mirror

While on the road to pick up Sophia from school today, I noticed that Bella has picked up my love for rock and roll. It is hard to tell from the video, but she is a head boppin’ fool. (I have to apologize to my mother in law here who hates it when I drive and operate anything other than the car at the same time) Bella’s rock out session was much better before she realized that I was trying to catch her in the act. I resorted to videoing her through the rear view window so she would act naturally. I think that she still kind of knew what I was doing because she isn’t half as zealous as before in this video. When I got done and put my camera in my purse Bella said, “Mommy are you going to put me on your blog?” She didn’t want me to, but I hope she’ll forgive me someday. She is kind of blog shy.

I am always happy when I can catch something entertaining while driving in my car. Have you noticed my new K-town label. K-town is label for the things I see around Knoxville; it’s amazing the things you notice from your car when looking for blog photos. (usually while driving in the car – because you all know that I am in my car a good two hours every day) So, I was trying to figure out how I was going to come up with an excuse to post this cute blurb of Bella. I don’t want this to my “kid” blog. I don’t like reading other people’s blog when all they blog about is their children. (I do like to read about their children, just not ALL the time)

Sheila, my new blogging friend, just gave me the best excuse ever, to post my rear view mirror catch. WOW! I only had to wait three hourse to find a good reason to justify posting about my children again. Anyway, read Sheila’s post with a rear view mirror analogy. I loved it. It is good advice for all of us who need to learn to let go of our mistakes.

Nope, I’m not a Native.
I saw this sign posted the other day and thought it was hilarious.
Yes, that word is supposed to be tamales. I am not sure if it is misspelled or just misunderstood.

People in TN just don’t get Spanish. I almost died laughing the first time I heard the word tortilla pronounced TOR-TILL-UH. I had to quickly stop myself from reacting out loud because the TN native was serious, she wasn’t trying to repeat Napoleon Dynamite.

Here are some other things that I had to learn after moving to TN.

1. to run if you hear a banjo. (that is towards the banjo for those of us that are bluegrass lovers)

2. Walmart is GOD’s department store.

3. Convenient stores are man’s best friend. (I would argue that people know this one all over the country)

4. Moonshine can cure any sickness, virus, and sometimes disease.

5. Hillbilly isnt a label, its a language. (that I readily admit, I do not know)

6. It’s baseball season all year long because everyone has a dip. (chewing tobacco, that is)

7. Bright orange T-shirts should be worn every Friday with pride, and if all your Orange is dirty (which is NEVER for natives) a John Deere shirt or hat is the next best thing to help you fit in.

8. They’re not rednecks, they’re Appalachian Americans. And if you can’t pronounce Appalachian correctly, don’t utter it at all. (App uh latch un)

Bowling for a Break

I recently posted about LG’s desire to join a bowling league to escape the female hormones that are rampant at our house.

So, over Spring Break, we did the next best thing. We went bowling with all the female hormones in tow. Lucky for LG, we joined some of our friends from the testosterone family.
I have to say Matt is one fierce competitor when it comes to who has the most testosterone, and I am only saying that to get him to read my blog.
Here are some pictures in the form of how to have a successful time when bowling with children.
Tip #1: Kick back and try to enjoy the constant motion of the children. Try not to worry about the children throwing the bowling etiquette out the window. Hope that you don’t get people from the redneck bowling league on the lane next to you. (Man, I knew I should have taken their picture)

I know this is a picture of Rita’s backside, but you can’t really see it, and I wanted you to all see her knocking down ONE pin…and we all know that is the hardest thing to do when bowling. Unfortunately, the picture is too small here and you can’t see her blue ball knocking down the pin either.

But, Tip #2: Aim the best you can, and let the bumpers take care of the rest. And try not to worry about anyone taking a picture of your backside.

Tip #3: Demonstrated by Sophia. Dry your hands on the hand blower as often as possible. This seemed to be more fun for the kids than the actual bowling. That blower was never idle throughout the night.

Tip #4: Keep your eye on the ball.

Tip #5:

Try not to obsess about the score.

Tip #6: Say Cheese when your moms get out the cameras, and you will be duly rewarded.

Tip #7: Dig in, because when you said cheese,
your mothers responded with the Nachos. And everybody loves Nachos: big and small.

Tip #8: Take a nap before the final frame.
And the final tip of the night:
Go bowling on the night that games only cost $1.
No matter what goes wrong, everyone will be happy, even the dad’s leave happy.
$20 for our family of 5, and you know he couldn’t have bowled in a league that cheap.
And who wants to bowl with all the rednecks anyways?
They would never jump up and down for you when you get a strike.
And, they would have most definitely threw you out when you missed that split, instead of climbing up into your lap for a hug.
(not that you would want a hug from them anyway, and you certainly wouldn’t want them climbing in your lap)

Oh no, they’re mutiplying!

This is what LG exclaimed, when we looked out on Sunday to see two ugly cloned vans across the street.

And, if you have no idea what I am talking about, you will have to read this previous post about the Preacher’s van.

Lucky for us, the working van drove away a good twenty minutes later. It looked as though it just came over to offer a short pep talk to his battered twin. Unfortunately, our lovely preacher neighbor’s van must have some kind of spiritual connection to his front lawn.

Geocaching

My brother David was just visiting on a business trip and he introduced us to the world of geocaching. We had so much fun! I can’t believe I didn’t take my camera…next time. I just love you David, and I really am sorry for all the torturing as a child. (I will blog about the “shut up” game another day)

Yeah, even though I am in my 30’s and David is closely approaching the BIG 3-0 also, he still had to act brotherish, in a torturous kind of way today. He waited until after he had me hooked on the geocache find to tell me, “Alice, this may not be the best hobby for you.”

I have no idea what he is talking about….just because I would search for hours, not share the GPS with my children, ruin my new tennis shoes in the mud quicksand, scale hotel walls, and let my chicken burn in the oven to find that darn canister, he thinks I am a little overzealous…oh, the nerve! He knows how obsessive compulsive I am and he didn’t even give me a disclaimer. He will never admit it, but secretly he was trying to addict me….I am sure it makes him feel better to have another adult join his madness.

And, so what if I took one more stop later in the day when no one was looking…still haven’t found it, but no one else has in the past year either. They don’t even know if it is still there, but gosh danget, I will succeed…eventually. And, yes, this will be such a GREAT hobby…what else would lure me away from blogging!

Winners!

I am sorry to all of you who tried to get the free MaryKay stuff, but Michelle announced the winner, and you won’t believe it, but it is me. I can’t wait to get some free stuff in the mail.

Just when I was feeling like a loser, my luck did a 180. Thanks Michelle! One luck of the draw and now I am an instant winner, not a loser.

LG was a winner last week. He won the three point contest at the school’s basketball game. He says “he got lucky”….I guess our luck really is turning around. Last year was a rough one for us. 2008 is going to be our year, I can feel it. Maybe next we can win some money! That would be really nice about now. 10 years of college life + 3 children can really put a drain on the bank account, if you know what I mean.

Here is the video of the kids after the game. Abigail is holding LG’s prize, a basketball autographed by Pat Summit. WOW!