Where Men Win Glory: The Odyssey of Pat Tillman by Jon Krakauer

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I remember hearing about Pat Tillman and his decision to join the army after September 11, 2001. I had no idea at the time that I was just another unassuming American being sold on a war by the US Government and the US media. I am glad that on a whim I picked this book off the new additions shelf a the library.

This book was absolutely fascinating in two ways. The first is obvious: Pat Tillman was a remarkable man. He was patriotic and tough. He was unmaterialistic, almost anti-materialistic, and that is why it wasn’t a big deal for him to walk away from his NFL contract and sign up to be a soldier. He was loyal. He stayed with his same girlfriend through high school, college, and the rest of us his cut-short life. One of my favorite parts of Pat’s story was how he gave up a 9 million dollar contract with another NFL team way before he went to war. He was loyal to the coaches and team that gave him his first chance at professional football in the 7th draft, and he wasn’t even worried that he lost millions. But, I already told you that he wasn’t materialistic. What a breathe of fresh air in today’s stuff-saturated society.

Pat is a hero to me. He’s an unlikely hero for me. He was agnostic and almost self centered. However he was smart and confident. In reading this book he wasn’t portrayed as the selfless guy that I imagined him to be, but as a high risk junkie. I am not sure if I liked that. I know that just as this book made me non-trusting of the government and news networks, I am also now untrusting of the story teller. No one man can ever write enough to really let you know a man you never met. I will tell you this, after reading about Pat Tillman’s life, I would have loved to be able to sit down with him and discuss ideas. He was a philosophy kind of guy…always testing ideas. This is why he is a hero to me. I like thinkers.

Interestingly, Pat never wanted to be paraded through the streets as the guy who believed in the war, and this is precisely the reason I chose to read his biography in the first place. In fact, Pat was disenchanted with the war. He joined to go and find Bin Laden and kill him, and Pat was pissed when his whole first tour turned into Bush’s ulterior motives of defeating Sadam Hussein and Iraq. As a naive American, I never knew that warheads were made up by our government just to use the 9/11 opportunity to defeat a country we felt was a threat. But, Iraq was never a terrorist threat like the Taliban and Al Qaeda members harbored in Afghanistan and Pakistan. Iraq just happened to be a convenient neighbor close enough to Bin Laden to rally Americans to attack. I finished this book, also pissed that I had been dooped into fighting the wrong war and upset that our government wasn’t more successful at finding every last terrorist and wiping them into oblivion.

The second facet I loved about this book is that it was a living history lesson. It was a lesson to me about world events that I was never in touch with. I learned all kinds of stuff about the middle east and our foreign affairs with them; things I am ashamed I never took the time to know before. The way that the story was written as a go between of a fascinating soldier and a fact telling story was especially effective at keeping my attention. I would never just pick up a daunting tell all of middle eastern events, but mixed in with the story of Pat Tillman, made it all the more fascinating and relevant, for this ignorant US citizen who tries to keep US politics at bay.

Good read. It is recommended by me for all kinds of people: People who like world history, US Politics, the National Football League, the US Military, war histories, the Middle East, terrorist plots, or just plain old philosophy.

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Seeker, The: A Novel by Ann H. Gabhart

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Love is everything. From the love between the two romance seeking main characters. To the man who couldn’t love a woman and found his escape in a Shaker colony. The love of a father, a brother, and a daughter. The love of strangers for soldiers on both sides of the Civil War was powerful enough to keep the meals coming, at the risk of starving a whole colony through the winter.

I loved the character Charlotte. When she ran away from her Southern Plantation to a Shaker colony, I thought she was a coward, but when she used the opportunity to better understand herself, my affections returned. Adam Wade was every girl’s dream: good-looking, rugged, and a very talented artist. The author’s descriptions of his art made the reader feel like she was looking right at each masterpiece. Who says a picture speaks more than the written word? You would have never guessed this when reading this book. Each fictional sketch took on a life of its own for me, just as each character did.

Learning about the Shakers’ beliefs was secondary to a look into the state of the nation during the Civil War. Did those Confederate soldiers really chicken out like that in that first battle? How did that get past me all these years?

The Shakers ability to love was inspiring, as was Charlotte’s love and devotion to a helpless little boy…even when his own mother was a horrendous example of motherhood. Perhaps the greatest love story of all was the freeing of beloved slaves. I get teary just thinking of the fictional characters as their faces glowed with liberty for the first time in their lives.

I can’t wait to read some more of Gabhart’s books.

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Mockingjay by Suzanne Collins

My rating: 3 of 5 stars

How would you like it if I started this review with “Well, they all survived.” and then quickly added, “Oh, except the main character?” I am not saying that IS what happened at all. I wouldn’t want to write a spoiling review so soon. But, that is what this book was like for me.

Have I ever told you that I am a tidbit emotionally unstable and that I get really really involved with these fictitious characters? I don’t like it when authors mess with my stability. It really makes me mad when they get you all happy, only to turn the page and be disappointed or to turn the page repeatedly to a complete WHAM-O in my face. I don’t like it all. The jumpy transitions were not only unnecessary but annoying.

Although, this was a chosen life-long favorite for me after reading the first two books, the third one left me re-thinking this declaration. In fact, it left me wanting to rewrite the whole finish. It almost felt rushed. It didn’t have as much depth or feeling. There were emotional parts but it is almost as if the author stopped being IN the story when she was telling it…if that makes any sense.

I still enjoyed it and at least there was closure in the end (more than you can say for the first two books) but I just wish so many things were different. And I guess you can say that because I feel that way, Collins masterfully got her point across….humanity sucks. War is cruel. Most people are out for themselves. And, now you can see why this person who likes to see the good in people was thoroughly disappointed.

The plot wasn’t as exciting as those found in Books 1 and 2. In fact, to me, the main plot may have just been as dull as “Nobody gets what they want. Everyone is just surviving the events of their life.” This book almost took more of a political turn. Like true-life anti-war propaganda or something. Although, in a round about way, at the end, you were left to think that war was actually necessary and justified for a better society.

I don’t feel the author gave the proper burial to minor characters. Heck, she didn’t give a proper good-bye for major characters. It felt like a rush to the publish date book. I hate that. Why can’t everything be as masterful as Harry Potter from start to finish?

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Alcoholics Anonymous – Big Book by Alcoholics Anonymous

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

WOW! This is going to be a hard review to write.

When I told my husband that I planned to review this book, he laughed.

“Isn’t that like saying I’m going to review The Holy Bible?”

“Why, yes, yes it is.”

In fact, this book is much like The Holy Bible.

Like my daughter’s 6th grade math teacher has his students create A Math Bible with math notes in a composition book, this is a Bible that was written by Alcoholics. It’s not a Bible for math, but for finding peace and serenity.

Funny, the alcoholics familiar with AA, affectionately call this book “The Blue Bible” or “The Big Blue Book”.

This book is jam-packed with wisdom. JAM PACKED! It starts with bits of wisdom from the founders of AA with their reveal of the 12 steps and how to work the AA program. But, the bits of wisdom I enjoyed best were the bits I gleaned from all the personal stories. I was left feeling totally enlightened. The honesty of the storytellers was a breathe of fresh air. They gave me a greater understanding and love for alcoholics and all addicts. They somehow helped me have a respect for alcoholics, especially a respect for the ones brave enough to break free. Most of all, I, now, after finishing the book, have a greater appreciation for human life, and the fragility of the human. It is so vital that we as humans help each other to learn how to affectively deal with our issues.

And, in one sentence, that is how I would describe AA and it’s mighty Bible: It’s a place where people go to help each other learn and deal with issues. Because all people have issues and lots of people don’t know how to deal with them. Unfortunately, instead of learning how to get happy, people give themselves permission to live drunk, which isn’t living at all.

If you think that you could live a happier life, read this book, I promise it will leave you with a greater understanding of yourself and what you need to do to resolve your issues and to have self-respect, serenity, peace, happiness, and joy. I personally feel much more humble yet powerful, peaceful yet productive, happy yet thoughtful and most of all in touch with myself and who I am, who God wants me to be, and how He is going to help me get there.

I decided shortly into the book that in my review, I would just share the bits that I loved. Writing a review is like writing a review of The Holy Bible. You can’t communicate the power by stating your opinion. You can share the verses and hope the reader will feel its power. So, here are the words (verses) that communicated to me in the order I read them:

p. 100 ALCOHOLICS ARE SICK AND SHOULD BE HANDLED WITH CARE “When working with a man and his family, you should take care not to participate in their quarrels. You may spoil your chance of being helpful if you do. But urge upon a man’s family that he has been a very sick person and should be treated accordingly. You should warn against arousing resentment or jealously. You should point out that his defect of character are not going to disappear over night. Show them that he has entered upon a period of growth. Ask them to remember, when they are impatient, the blessed fact of his sobriety.”

p. 178 EVERYONE NEEDS SUPPORTIVE FAMILY MEMBERS “My wife became deeply interested and it was her interest that sustained mine, though I at no time sensed that it might be an answer to my liquor problem. How my wife kept her faith and courage during all those years, I’ll never know, but she did. If she had not, I know I would have been dead a long time ago. For some reason, we alcoholics seem to have the gift of picking out the world’s finest women. Why they should be subjected to the tortures we inflict upon them, I cannot explain.”

p. 180 HERE IS THE POWER OF AA – GLEANING KNOWLEDGE FROM THOSE WHO HAVE WALKED IN OUR MOCCASINS BEFORE US “Of far more importance was the fact that he was the first living human with whom I had ever talked, who knew what he was talking about in regard to alcoholism from actual experience. In other words, he talked my language.”

p. 197 DON’T AVOID & PROCRASTINATE – IT BUILDS UP AND MAKES YOU WANNA GET DRUNK “About this period, too, came increasing procrastination and the avoidance of responsibilities. I would put off doing anything that I could until the next day, and consequently, everything would pile up and then there would be this blackout.”

p. 214 ADMIT YOU HAVE A PROBLEM AND USE THE FAITH YOU HAVE TO HELP YOURSELF “The thought simply never occurred to me that through the exercise of what I had I might find the answer to my problem, simply because I wouldn’t admit that I had a problem.”

p. 226 STAY IN TOUCH WITH THIS GLORIOUS WORLD AND FIND YOUR PLACE IN IT INSTEAD OF HIDING ” I wanted help, and I tried to cooperate. As the treatment progressed I began to get a picture of myself, of the temperament that had caused me so much trouble. I had been hypersensitive, shy, idealistic. My inability to accept the harsh realities of life had resulted in a disillusioned cynic, clothed in a protective armor against the world’s misunderstanding. That armor had turned into prison walls, locking me in loneliness – and fear. All I had left was an iron determination to live my own life in spite of alien world – and here I was an inwardly frightened, outwardly defiant woman, who desperately need a prop to keep going. Alcohol was that prop and I didn’t see how I could live without it.”

p.228 GOD SPEAKS TO US “Then the miracle happened – to me! It isn’t always so sudden with everyone, but I ran into a personal crisis which filled me with a raging and righteous anger. And as I fumed helplessly and planned to get good and drunk and show them, my eye caught a sentence in the book lying upon my bed: ‘We cannot live with anger.’ The walls crumpled – and the light streamed in. I wasn’t trapped. I wasn’t helpless. I was free, and I didn’t have to drink to ‘show them’. This wasn’t religion – this was freedom! Freedom from anger and fear, freedom to know happiness and love.”

p. 275 FIGHT THE FEAR “For eighteen years, from the age of twenty-one to thirty-nine, fear governed my life. By the time I was thirty I had found that alcohol dissolved fear. For a little while. In the end I had two problems instead of one: Fear and alcohol.”

p. 279 ANSWERS ARE WAITING TO BE FOUND – YOU JUST HAVE TO ASK – PERHAPS MY FAVORITE PAGE OF THE WHOLE BOOK “I could no longer relieve the pressure of fear by starting home, as was once my habitual solution to the problem, because I no longer had a home. Finally, and I shall never know how much later it was, one clear thought came to me: Try prayer. You can’t lose, and maybe God will help you – just maybe, mind you. Having no one else to turn to, I was willing to give Him a chance, although with considerable doubt. I got down on my knees for the first time in thirty years. The prayer I said was simple. It went something like this: ‘God, for eighteen years I have been unable to handle this problem. Please let me turn it over to you.’ Immediately a great feeling of peace descended upon me, intermingled with a feeling of being suffused with a quiet strength. I lay down and slept like a child. An hour later I awoke to a new world. Nothing had changed and yet everything had changed. The scales had dropped from my eyes and I could see life in its proper perspective. I had tried to be the center of my own little world, whereas God was the center of a vast universe of which I was perhaps an essential, but a very tiny, part. I have never had a drink since.”

p. 320 BE GENTLE WITH YOURSELF AND LIVE FOR NOW “Once I did have a slip – tried drinking again – but the AA’s tell me not to worry about yesterday, because nobody can change it, and not to worry about tomorrow because it hasn’t come yet. Live twenty-four hours at a time, they say. And it works. I’m sober for today. Like I said, I’m a twenty-four-yea-old alcoholic and I’m happy.”

p. 325 HEALING CAN HAPPEN FOR INDIVIDUALS AND FAMILIES “WE have only been in A.A. a few years, but now we’re trying to make up for lost time. Twenty-seven years of confusion is what my early married life was. Now, the picture has changed completely. We have faith in each other, trust in each other, and understanding. A.A. has given us that. It has taught me so many things. It has changed my thinking entirely, about everything I do. I can’t afford resentments against anyone, because they are the build-up of another drunk. I must live and let live. And “Think” – that one important word means so much to me. My life was always act and react. I never stopped to think. I just didn’t give a whoop about myself or anyone else.

p, 352 POWER COMES FROM GOD AND FROM OTHERS WHO ARE RECEIVING HELP FROM GOD “What is this power that A.A. possessed?? This curative power? I don’t know what it is. I suppose the doctor might say, “This is psychosomatic medicine.” I suppose the psychiatrist might say, “This is benevolent interpersonal relations.” I suppose others would say, “This is group psychotherapy.” To me it is God.

p. 418 HEALING IS UP TO YOUR HONESTY WITH YOURSELF “No one could have told me then that I had not earned all my success, nor could anyone have told me that I was an alcoholic and a drug addict. The only thing that bothered me was a queasy feeling I had in the pit of my stomach. It hinted to me that everything was phony. I had accomplished all the right things that our society expected, and I had no real peace of mind nor gratitude. I was nothing more than a spoiled, indulged, and talented brat.”

p. 504 GOD WILL GRANT YOU PEACE IF YOU SURRENDER “I get out of bed and go to the man’s room. He is reading, ‘I must ask you a question,’ I say to the man. ‘How does prayer fit into this thing.’ ‘Well,” he answers, ‘you’ve probably tried praying like I have. When you’ve been in a jam you’ve said, ‘God, please do this or that,’ and if it turned out to be your way that was the last of it, and if it didn’t you’ve said ‘THere isn’t any God’ or ‘He doesn’t do anything for me’. Is that right?’ ‘Yes,’ I reply. ‘That isn’t the way,’ he continued. ‘The thing I do is say ‘God here I am and here are my troubles. I’ve made a mess of things and can’t do anything about it. You take me, and all my troubles, and do anything you want with me.’ ‘Does that answer your question?’ “

p. 542 LOVE IS EVERYTHING ” For me, A.A. is a synthesis of all the philosophy I’ve ever read, all the positive, good philosophy, all of it based on love. I have seen that there is only one law, the law of love, and there are only two sins; the first is to interfere with the growth of another human being, and the second is to interfere with one’s own growth.”

p. 544 GET TO THE ROOT “The mental twists that led up to my drinking began many years before I ever took a drink for I am one of those whose history proves conclusively that my drinking was a ‘symptom of a deeper trouble.’ Through my efforts to get down to ’causes and conditions,’ I stand convinced that my emotional illness has been present from my earliest recollection. I never did react normally to any emotional situation.

p. 547 DON’T RUN FROM YOUR FEARS OR RATIONALIZE THEM AWAY ” I wasn’t afraid of anything or anybody after I learned about drinking, for it seemed right from the beginning that with liquor I could always retire to my little private world where nobody could get at me to hurt me…..I was immersed in self-pity and resentment…It became more and more necessary to escape from myself, for my remorse and shame and humiliation when I was sober were almost unbearable. The only way existence was possible was through rationalizing every sober moment and drinking myself into oblivion as often as I could.

p.552 BLESS THOSE THAT CURSE YOU – IT WILL GIVE YOU PEACE “‘IF you have a resentment you want to be free of, if you will pray for the person or the thing that you resent, you will be free. If you will ask in prayer for everything you want for yourself to be given to them, you will be free. Ask for their health, their prosperity, their happiness, and you will be free. Even when you don’t really want if for them, and you prayers are only words that you don’t mean, go ahead and do it anyways. Do it every day for two weeks and you will find you have come to mean it and to want it for them, and you will realize that where you used to feel bitterness and resentment and hatred you now feel compassionate understanding and love.’ ‘The only real freedom a human being ever know is doing what you ought to do because you want to do it.’ “

p. 560 REALITY IS AWESOME WHEN YOU’VE FOUND AND WORKED FOR PEACE “Above all, we reject fantasizing and accept reality. The more I drank, the more I fantasized everything. I imagined getting even for hurt and rejections. In my mind’s eye, I played and replayed scenes in which I was plucked magically from the bar where I Stood nursing a drink, and was instantly exalted to some position of power and prestige. I lived in a dream world. A.A. led me gently from this fantasizing to embrace reality with open arms. And I found it beautiful! For, at last, I was at peace with myself. And with others. And with God.”

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The Help by Kathryn Stockett

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

This was a quick read, which means it was a good read. I think historical fiction is becoming my new favorite genre. Besides the interesting historical bits, I found myself mostly in love with the characters over the content.

It’s not that the plot wasn’t great because there were many and I wanted to uncover the end to them all. It’s that the characters were flawless. The whole time I was reading I kept trying to decide if I was more like Aibileen or Minny or Skeeter. Or was I like Elizabeth, LouAnne, or heaven forbid Hilly? Was I like Skeeter’s mama or was I like Miss Celia? I finally had to compromise that I was like each and every one of them.

I love to encourage the babies like Aibileen. I also like to tease the kiddos by asking them where are their tails and funny things like that. I also would have a lot of “I am not on good terms with that dress” moments because I hate to iron just about more than anything.

My mouth, just like Minny’s, has got me into heaps of trouble. Thank goodness I have never been hired or fired as The Help. I don’t think I could have done it. I rejoiced when Minny finally got her gumption to love herself. Yeah for the Co-dependent’s success. And I have to say that because I go to a support group every week where there are many ladies who get beat by their husband’s and they are all trying to find their courage.

And Skeeter. Well, she loves to write. What more do I need to have in common with her? Although I do have more than just the love of writing. I like to think that I would be a risk taker just like her. I would do what was right for the greater good, even if it meant I committed social suicide. And I have a dream of living in New York someday, and really you don’t need more than this commonality to love a person.

Like Elizabeth, do I worry too much with impressing my friends? Do I not appreciate my children enough? And LouAnne. Well, I don’t want to give her secret away, but let’s just say that I understand psychological warfare. And I think that every woman on this earth can relate to Hilly, especially if they’ve been through Middle School. I know I was way too worried about getting to the top of the heap and staying there for my 4 years of High School. What a disgrace to my own history.

Skeeter’s mama was proud and she was blind to how her own pride screwed up her relationship with her daughter. Every critical statement was really just a reflection of Mama’s own pride issues. And once again, we all have those…especially Americans. Oh and Miss Celia. How I loved her loyalty and her naivety. I like to think that my love also has no bounds and that I can be blind to invisible social taboos. It would be really great if I could look that great in an evening gown too. 🙂

Anyway, this book is a must read. I really enjoyed it. I am glad that it was chosen for the book club. There is a little bit of language and there is one racy part with a sex offender, but I hope the book club ladies will be able to see past these parts and know that the good is always weightier than the bad. It is quite possibly my second favorite Southern book after my all time favorite To Kill A Mockingbird.

And lastly, Thank you God for sending us Martian Luther King. And the misspell in Martian is my way of honoring the fictional hero Aibileen. My hat goes of off to our civil rights activists…especially those who lost their lives. Whenever I meet another racist in TN, I am going to leave them this book on their porch, but we all know that those racists probably don’t read.

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