I just want you to know that you were my hero yesterday. It started with you waking up with a Caroline sized hangover and dragging your butt to work.
From work in the afternoon you then called me, even though you had a question that needed answering, it was so nice to hear your voice. And it was nice for the two minutes that you let me believe that you just called to say Hi and listen about my day. It made me tingly all over.
And then after work you read my mind. I do believe we are making serious progress. You rescued me from hell. Literally. You did exactly what I have been coaching you to do all these years and that is to be my knight in shining armor. You said, “Alice, let’s get out of here.” And I so appreciated it. More than I can express.
You then patiently put up with my ranting, that for some reason I just couldn’t stop myself from directing it at you. And it was so unfair. I am aggressive. And what I was really trying to say (but still have a looooonnng way to go) is I was so in love with you yesterday. And I don’t want that to change. I love it when you are there for me, but I guess I can’t let myself enjoy it. Because I am completely crazy and I obsess about it all coming to a screeching halt which won’t let myself enjoy the good. But I should have hushed my own fears and just enjoyed it. So I apologize. Profusely.
Then, as if all of that already wasn’t enough. When we went to bed, you held my hand while we prayed and when I told you that we didn’t have to hold hands every night, you told me that we did have to hold hands every night. I wondered why and you said that it was part of your big plan. Then I asked what that plan was and you said “staying hopelessly in love with you”. I knew you were telling the truth and I believed you and I have never felt so good. It just took me a night’s sleep to process it. I couldn’t ask for anything better. Ever.
You are the person that means more to me than anyone and I want it to be us against the world, not the world wedged between us. So today I am happy for all of it. And I am crying because I love you so much and I look forward to tomorrow because I believe you that you want to stay in love with me, and I also believe that you have a plan to do it. Even if you don’t reveal every detail of it. I guess that’s the next step. Progress not perfection. Although really, you were pretty near perfect yesterday.
I love you my patient patient Conquistador.
You win my heart over and over again.