Month: March 2011

We love Ryan
Ryan has been one of Abigail’s best friends since kindergarten. We absolutely adore him and his family. I am the proud carpooler who gets to take him home from school twice a week. Not only has it been an advantageous situation to get all the scoop Abigail won’t tell me herself, I have enjoyed the time I get to talk to Ryan about his life too.
On Friday Ryan said he might cry for days when we move, just typing that is making me cry. We are gonna miss him so much. He is the sweetest kid.
Ryan loves to read. He loves Cheerwine. He loves his mama and his dad, but I would say he is especially a mama’s boy. He loves to play the saxophone and he loves playing video games. He’s a good big brother. He is so thoughtful; he often saves part of his after-school snack to share with his mom or brother or sister.
The other day he cracked me up while relaying his girl problems to his mom via cell phone. I was in stitches. He was like, “Mom, I don’t understand women. I am afraid to get older.”
The one thing I may appreciate about Ryan the most is that he isn’t afraid to call Abigail out on her crap. He and Abigail are almost like siblings. The other day when we were on our way home from school Abigail pulled out a sign she had made to stick on the back of a friend from school. It made reference to the fact the kid was short. I jumped all over her and I couldn’t do it fast enough.
“Abigail, tear that up right now. You never make fun of someone for the height or their weight or anything. That is not nice. How would you like it if someone pointed out your zits? I will tell you right now I absolutely hated it in Jr. High when kids called me fat. Even if you don’t think it’s a big deal, other kids might be really self conscience. You have to be more considerate. Really. Do you think it’s nice to call people ugly or fat. Short is the same thing.”
I was going on and on. I then said something to the effect of, “Do you think it would be nice for people to call other people four-eyes if they have glasses?”
Ryan quickly interrupted with his finger pointed tall, “I resemble that.”
Ryan is super smart and a great speller and reader. I quit my rant and questioned him, “Ryan, did you mean, you resent that?”
“No, I meant I resemble that.”
Laughter all around.
And I will let you decide if resent or resemble was a better choice of word.
I would never call anyone four-eyes, especially not Ryan. I love this kid. If I could adopt a son, it would be him. He’s one of a kind. And he happens to wear some pretty snazzy glasses.

French Toast for the Masses
I hate cooking. No, I should say I really don’t enjoy cooking. I do it. I do it all the time. I’m even good at it. I would call myself a good cook. I am a cook who hates to cook, but I am also a cook who can put a smile on your face. Still I think it is safe to say cooking is just not my thing; it just happens to be a resume builder I have gained while living in survival mode for the past 13 years.
When LG and I got married, I cried when I realized that it was my responsibility to feed my husband and future children and it would be for THE REST OF MY LIFE. Cried would not be a totally fair assessment. I bawled one night while cooking, and I continue to cry inside every time I am magnetically stuck in the room of my house that sports a fridge, sink, and stove. Now I know I am gonna hear it from my naysayer our there who believes in women’s rights, but from the get-go, I embraced my control over things inside the home. I more than embraced it. I, for lack of better words, peed over the threshold between family room and teeny tiny studio apartment kitchen, as my way of saying, “hands off man, this is my territory”. The kitchen would be my domain. 
Man, I was such a fool. LG was more than happy to step aside for food duty, even though we were both working and going to school full-time. And not to my surprise and even to my blame, today the guy only has a handful of choices that he can pull off that involve a wooden spoon and pan, and most of them are in the breakfast category, come frozen, or out of a box. And I am smacking my forehead against my keyboard as I realize how totally stupid I was back then.
So, I live with the stubborn hell I have created. I cook. Even when I don’t want to. In the past few years, while there hasn’t been wiggle room in the budget for enough pizza and hamburgers ordered from other people’s kitchens, I have learned many tricks.
I have very reliable go-to’s. I keep staples in the house for each recipe. One happens to be french toast. It only takes six ingredients that I usually have on hand. My kids love it and so do I. My husband tolerates it, but if he was more worried about eating his favorites, he might ask me to teach him how to cook them. hint hint.
Before I share the flawless recipe, let me tell you two tricks that will make this easy peezy meal turn into 10 easy peezy meals.

One, make a TON at a time.

Stick them all in a gallon size ziplock.
They have lasted for at least a week at my house.
Reheat them as needed in a toaster.
(Note: the toaster trick was discovered by my hubby, 
who is a saint, 
and takes on breakfast duty at our house 
while I am trying to pry my eyelids open)
The other trick is a little easier.
Buy the kind of syrup shown above.
It’s short enough to be heated in the microwave.
French toast are so much better with hot syrup.
I just refill this container with the cheapest syrup I can find, 
saving myself $2 a pop.
Once in a while I will make my own syrup, which is also very tasty.
You can add one last trick if you want. It would be the one where you teach the kids how to wash the griddle. We are still trying to get this one down at our house.

Guess what is the best feature of french toast: LG knows how to make it!!

Here are my recipes for the sharing. Do any of you have any tips on how you keep your french toast from getting soggy? I am usually 80% successful but not sure how.
French Toast
4 eggs
1 + 1/2 cups milk
1 tsp ground nutmeg
2 tsp vanilla extract
2 pinches of salt
12 slices bread
Beat together egg, milk, nutmeg, vanilla and salt.
Heat butter on a griddle heated to medium.
Quickly dip bread in egg mixture and transfer to hot buttered griddle. Cook both sides until lightly browned and crisp.
Homemade syrup
2 cups white sugar
1 cup brown sugar
1/2 cup karo syrup
1 cup boiling water
1/2 tsp maple flavor extract
Boil together until sugar is completely dissolved.

What Mormon College Students Do For Fun

One of the things I am asked often is how I have any fun whilst practicing my religion of Mormonism. As most of you know, we have some pretty strict codes of conduct, including abstaining from coffee, alcohol, and tea.

I, like many others (including millions of recovered alcoholics) understand that there are so many clean ways to enjoy life and have fun while remaining in control of my faculties and praising my God.

Here is just one really good example of a bunch of people having some good clean fun. I love it that the BYU fans were able to support their team in such a unique way during all this Brandon drama.

Just Ask Alice – Inception (Spanking)
Dana and I go way back. All the way back to California in the 80’s, where she thought I was the coolest girl at camp and decided she wanted to be just like me when she grew up. She has done pretty well with that, except to really pass the Alice look alike test I think she will have to put on a few pounds. Like 100 or so.
A few years ago, Dana and I were shocked to run into each other, after 20 years, at church in Atlanta, where we thought it odd that we both had three children (I believe all of hers were girls) and attorney husbands.

Here is a link to her website, where you will see that she is a talented photographer. I  love her style. You can also like her on facebook. And even though her photography is the bomb, let me tell you that Dana is a hoot. I would pay her to take my picture just because I know she could get a real smile out of me. She may not even have to say anything. Just looking at her makes me laugh. She has the vibe.
Dana came up with the idea for Just Ask Alice.
She said she thinks I could give good advice. Little does she know that I have spent my whole adult life-hood learning how to keep my opinions and advice to myself. Or maybe she does know that (or even relates) but she is flattering me and laughing behind my back as she sends me to my own destruction.
But, I like the idea of having things to write about. Things that interest my readers.
Great picture to go with spanking, eh? It was Dana’s idea.
Did I tell you how much I LOVE her photography?
And her sense of humor?

Dana’s question that I will answer:

How do you feel about spanking?
Don’t do it. Unless it’s for your husband. My husband deserves a bunch of spankings right now, but it’s all good cause he likes being spanked.
But really, while raising four children, I have come to realize that spanking is absolutely ineffective.

To show you the proof: My mom used to line us up as kids and spank us with wooden spoons. It didn’t have ANY, not one iota of influence on our behavior, except for making us laugh. And see how I turned out? Good argument, eh?

My mom was a successful spanker. Why? Because she never spanked out of anger. She slapped me as a teenager out of anger, but that wasn’t the question. And in her defense, I pretty much deserved it.

We quit spanking when our oldest was about three, at about the same time we got rid of the pacifier. And while I am writing this, I am realizing that I think there was a connection between the two. Once she was free of the paci and could talk back a whole lot more, I found myself getting more and more out of control with my anger and the more I spanked the more she acted aggressively.

I’ve heard that some children respond to spanking better, but I think I can honestly say that I have many different personalities represented by my children, my siblings, nieces and nephews, and friends’ children and none need to be spanked.

I know I know. Spare the rod, spoil the child. God never said the rod had to come in the form of spanking. We prefer the punishment techniques of withdrawal, torture, humiliation, and time-out.

Keep posted for our children’s future blogs where they discuss all they overcame in therapy.

What’s your take on the subject? Maybe you actually have something smart to say?

Leave me a question for a future Just Ask Alice and I will give you a shout out with the answer.

Scarlett Jam

I recently read The Scarlett Letter and I couldn’t help but compare its fundamental depravity in judging others and outcasting people over the higher law of chastity with what has just happened with BYU basketball player Brandon Davies. Most of you may not know, but one of the key players was kicked off the team mid-season for admittedly having sex with his now pregnant girlfriend. BYU basketball has had an epic year and it was even rumored that they might take the first seed in the NCAA tourney. That is huge, but now they lost one of their most pivotal players.
Apparently BYU is one of the only schools left on the planet that actually makes college students live up to an Honor Code.  Part of me is proud to be part of church with a University that enforces higher personal standards, and the same part of me is ashamed. When reading this article tonight in the BYU newspaper I was taken back by it’s reference to justice. I guess I tend to be the kind of person more worried about mercy.
Originally I had written in this post that I wished that the University could have let the kid finish out the season so he would not have had to be living such public shame. I felt like if he does ever come back to play, they may as well iron a big old Atlanta Brave A to his jersey. It’s not that I didn’t think he should experience the ramifications of his disobedience and that he should repent. I have personally known many others who had to put their education on hold for a bit while working through their worthiness issues. I just don’t think that it was to anybody’s good to make such a public display of a man’s very personal life.

It’s such a sad thing for me to think about. It’s one of those things where two important principles seem to clash. Yes, let’s have a high standard, and yes, let’s love others, but how can we do both of these simultaneously? I feel like Brandon Davies has become a Hester Prynne and that just like the uptight community of the Puritan days, BYU sold him out to dry. My husband said that it wasn’t BYU that did this to him but his own actions and the media. He knew the standards he had agreed to when he signed on at the school.

When rethinking the option of letting Brandon Davies finish out the season, that would require the school to treat him with preferential treatment. As they kick all Honor Code offenders out immediately, it’s not that Brandon Davies should somehow be exempt.

I guess I am gonna be the kind of girl that stands at the Pearly gates and begs God to let in all the sinners. I  think that I need to study it out some more WHY God has standards in the first place and why I resent being controlled and others being controlled. If anything this news-story has been a lesson to me that our actions are never just about us, but they are also about our significant others and the people who observe us. But mostly it’s about us and our relationship with our Lord, and I hope that Brandon Davies will remember that while experiencing such severe punishment and horrible scrutiny. I pray that His Lord will carry Him through and allow Brandon to feel an extra dose of God’s love to counterattack everyone else talking about him negatively.

And let the record be made known that I would be best friends with Hester Prynne, well at least I would be until her demon child yelped at me. Hester’s kid is portrayed really scary in the book and it kind of freaked me out.

And that is my rant to go along with such an enticing church sign that can be found directly down the street from me right now. It’s like there are Scarlett Letters screaming at me everywhere. LG and I even watched that movie A+ last week when there was nothing else new at Redbox. It was kind of good. Too much language and sex, but doesn’t that make it just like every other movie out there? And if LG and I actually watch these movies, does that make us like Brandon Davies or Hester Prynne? And, aren’t we all like them? Isn’t that really the point  most necessarily understood by us all…we all fall short of perfection so really we should give each other grace? I’m glad I never went to BYU so I can criticize the way they have thrown a good young man who made a mistake out to the wolves of society. 
Meanwhile, I am going to make jam with fruit, and I have no idea whether or not it is forbidden.

Dr. Seuss Day

As many of you know, March 2nd is officially Dr. Seuss Day. Our school decided to celebrate a little bit later. Today the kids had the option to dress up like a Seuss character.

I will be the first to admit that I was so happy when they confided in me that they didn’t want to dress up.

“It’s not worth it. It’s too much work”, they said.

I was happy counting my fortune and then changed gears and wondered if it wasn’t too late to convince them to participate. I started to worry if I was teaching my kids to be lackadaisical. All sorts of things started flying through my mind: chore charts, money lessons, bribing techniques, desperate measures, and many other memories associated with teaching the kids to work.

I quickly snapped out of it. Should it really be a life crisis that my kids don’t want to do an optional dress up for school? It’s not like they’ve never dressed up before.

I quickly googled the master himself to see if any of his writings would back me up:

“Be who you are and say what you feel,
 because those who mind don’t matter
and those who matter don’t mind.”

I don’t care if the kids dress up and I am pretty sure that the people at school who may think it matters, really won’t mind if my kids don’t participate.

And just that fast I felt free.
It didn’t require going here or there.
Or eating green eggs or ham.
Or counting fish.
Or dressing up a cat in a hat.

It just required this mom to let go of her own issues to give her kids some space to underachieve.

If you want to read something funnier about Dr. Seuss that is slightly inappropriate for children (wink wink) go here. You will laugh.

PS22

Do you remember this old post from January 2010?

I introduced you to PS22. A public school choir in New Jersey. Mr. B is their amazing teacher.

Well, guess what I just found out?

This choir sang at the Oscars.

I was so ahead of my time.

I love it when that happens.

And I love Mr. B.

What an inspiration.

Here is another one of my favorites.

Detesting

There are very few things I detest in this world.
But today I am going to try and narrow it down to the things that really rub me raw.

1 – I hate it how US society is so celebrity worshiping. I don’t care about Bristol Palin. Serioulsy, why does anyone care about her? Because her mom ran for Vice-President and lost out to Obama and whoever is his Vice-President? And yes, I am admitting to not knowing who the Vice-President of the United States is. I seriously don’t know. This is a truly pathetic admission given that I now know that Chuck from that show my husband used to watch can kind of sing. I just got done watching the video of him and Katherine McFee. The only way I am going to know the name of the VicePresident is by googling it. Joe Biden. I somewhat remember that. There, now I am not as ignorant as most other Americans. But then again most other Americans know Angelina Jolie’s boob size when all I care about is why she is letting her beautiful daughter walk around dressed up like a boy.

2- I don’t like fake people. Oh, you never make any mistakes. Wow. Your kids are perfect. You and your husband are madly in love; you mean you NEVER fight. uh-huh. You actually have the energy to put up decorations in celebration of each month’s holiday? Do we really need more crap in this country? How about this? How about we all quit decorating and send some bread to Africa? Or some water wells. Or some People magazines. Surely, we aren’t the only country who needs a fix. Maybe some leprechauns could actually put my old plastic gold-pail to use? And mail it back to me? Full?

3- Brussel-Sprouts. I have never tried them. But they look gross and they smell gross. Thus, I have never tried them.

4- People who are overly obsessed with body image. I have friends with eating disorders. Probably most of my friends have struggled with an eating disorder at some time in their life. Heck, I have an eating disorder called over-eating. I also have friends who spend a whole heck a lot of time on physical training…lots of them live in California. he he (And, if you think I am talking about you, I am not. I am talking in generals…very broad generals.) Some may call it their mental health ticket or a phase and some feel it their calling to shove raw foods down your throat, while simultaneously spewing the benefits of smoking pot….are you kidding me? But I think eating healthy and exercise sometimes is just an obsession or it just becomes an avoidance technique…just as much as my overeating is. Now, mind you this is coming from the perspective of someone who needs to lose some pounds. But, really people, is it gonna matter that much when we go to meet our maker if we ran every day of our life? Or never ate a trans fat? Now, I totally understand that there are plenty more people out there who hate the fatties, but doesn’t that just remind you of middle school? Can’t we all just love each other? Can’t you see past my extra pounds, if I see past your obsession with the gym? Or marijuana? Why do we all have to be the same? Here is a link to a great post for eating disorder awareness. I would just like to add one thing to Cjane’s post. Change starts with society as a whole. If I don’t want my daughters to have eating disorders, I don’t only need to have a healthy body image, I need to try and promote healthy across the spectrum.

4- I don’t  like people who are self-righteous or think that they are too intellectual for most. I learn from my kids every day, and I think that I know more math than they do. Well, at least Sophia, Bella, and Caroline. O.k. I admit it, I go to Abigail for help with percentages from time to time, but really, does that mean she shouldn’t want to associate with me? Or that I can’t teach her anything? Every person on this earth is of great worth. Some of the greatest worth to God, may be the most simple minded.

5- Bullies. I don’t hate them, but I feel sorry for them. I try to understand them and if I could I would try to cure them with my love, but I don’t like how they have chosen to take out their own insecurities on other people.

6- Hypocrites. This goes along with #2. Fake people. Pretty much the same thing, but kind of different. A fake person just wants you to think they have it all together, and hypocrites spend every day of their lives trying to convince themselves they have it all together. My husband says it’s the other way around. Hypocrites know they don’t have it all together, but they condemn other people for the weaknesses they themselves have. Fake people are the ones that think they have it all together.

7- Self-righteousness, dishonesty, mean people. (These are all the things that my husband could think of when I asked him) When I begged for more he says, “me, somedays.” You got that straight. We have a healthy love hate relationship.

8- Women who, when they have the rare girls’ day out, can only talk about beauty tips and the plastic surgery they want to get. Men who covet women like this.

9- Really large dangling earrings. For some reason all I can think about is some baby ripping them through your flesh. And it really hurts my ears. Literally. I think I might be a little ADD. I guess I have held too many babies or read too many National Geographics. O.k. I didn’t read, I only looked at National Geographics. Does anyone actually read those magazines? Oh yeah, those people who are too smart to talk to me.

10- Boogers. I don’t like them and I don’t like the word booger. Today Caroline was trying to prolong naptime and was screaming out of her mind. I went in to check to see if she had lost her pacifier for the 15th time by chucking it across the room and she held out her blanket to me and said, “booger”. She had wiped her nose on her blanket and was freaking out. Who says that aversions aren’t genetic?

11- People who actually listen to their preacher when they say Mormons aren’t Christian. I love to talk to other people about their beliefs. Why don’t some of these Southern people actually talk to a real live Mormon about what we believe instead of just believing their obviously paranoid preacher?

12- The fact that my husband can never stay awake past 10 p.m. when I am in my prime, but I guess that this works as I then have blogging time AND a man to do morning duty.

13- Extra needy people. C’mon people, get a hold of yourself. Figure out why you need to be needed so bad. If you are always looking to other people to solve something for you, then it is time you went to see some of those really smart honest people so that they can help you out.

14-  Really foul mommy bloggers. How can this dooce girl have the second most popular mommy blog? That tells me something about where our world is headed. I don’t want to mention her or mamapundit, in case you get so curious you will go there. I have perused both these blogs and if they are the most popular representation of parents in America, then we live in a very scary world. Not to mention the people who actually read and comment. I believe they are some of the most horrible people; they pretty much have no morals. Does this make me self righteous?

Oh no, I guess I don’t like myself. Maybe detest is too strong of a word. Maybe I shouldn’t even say I don’t like these things. Maybe I should just say that I am puzzled by them. Therefore, when I read back and realize that small parts of me actually have to admit to some of these character flaws, I won’t have to hate myself, but just stay in my state of searching self understanding.  Why do I hate decorating? Maybe I should throw out a curse word for good measure.

15 – Oh and to leave out on an odd number – that material that they make sleeping bags and running suits out of. I can’t stand when it rubs together. Funny, I do like to run and camp though, but I find less annoying gear.

My husband has accused me of the purpose of this post being to stir the pot. He may be right. I want more blog readership, what can I say? I also just want to get back to my real self of being more honest about who I am. I completely respect that you are different than me. I hope that this will not come off as judgemental, as I really have tried to adopt the life mantra of accepting people as they are. I just got a worrisome e-mail from a friend saying I hurt her feelings about the decorating, and I thought I better post my reply for the rest of my crafty friends who I love wholeheartedly.


I am so sorry that I hurt your feelings. Maybe I should have been more specific. I didn’t mean ANY decorating was bad. I was just talking about the over excessive love of stuff. People seriously spend a ridiculous amount of money on trinkets for every holiday and go all out on a monthly basis making their home a shrine to hearts or shamrocks or easter bunnies or June umbrellas. 

If it would make you feel better, I will take that paragraph down. Really. Of course I was absolutely NOT referring to you or any of my friends. Maybe I should make that known. I like to think that the people that I associate with have a lot more substance than that, as I know you do. I came across this blog where this lady literally has a whole huge shelving unit in her living room full of decorations. As you know, this is not my thing. It’s also really hard to see stuff like this when I know so many people suffer without the basics. 

I totally agree with you 100% that each person is entitled to their own hobby. I actually love reading blogs about those hobbies, and seeing what people come up with, but I hope you understand that I am also entitled to my hatred of the way Americans are overly spoiled and inconsiderate of others when they spend so much time and effort on making their homes so amazing just so they can feel better than other people. 

I am not sure if this is gonna make it any better for you, and maybe what you really want is for me to completely change my opinion of decorating all together, but I just don’t see that happening, but please know that I don’t judge the individual; I have a ton of friends with gorgeous homes. I just judge the practice of competing with others in any form. 

Is there something else I can say to keep you as my friend? I really feel awful.

Facebook – February 2011

So you know you are a recluse when the only way you know you could possibly be under a tornado watch is because you got on facebook.
I only bowled a 99. Man, I am out of shape and practice. Anytime I have bowled in the past 5 years it has been with a bumper. Make a big difference.
listening to Madonna is putting me in the mood to go bowling with the girls…just like the 80s minus the short skirt
having a forgetful teenager + a crazy toddler equals frustration….been searching for a missing cell phone for 48 hours.
I am pretty sure I scratched my eyeball when I failed to avoid something that flew up into it while changing Bella’s sheets today. red eye and pain all day. surely dead skin cells can’t cause such damage. I think it must have been something left behind by our dog. No more doggies sleeping in the bed.
Oh, and we solved the case of the missing cell phone…it was in the bottom of Abigail’s backpack. It only took 60 hours. If only I made her clean it out thoroughly the first two times I asked her to look in there.

I think an hour at the doctor was worth getting notes for Bella and Sophia to be home with me tomorrow. Excited. They feel fine, but they told me to keep them home tomorrow. I see some movie watching and cookie making in the future.
I am confessing to having a chocolate stash in my nightstand.
I really wish I had enough energy to enjoy American Idol tonight. Night yall.
We will be moving to Utah in the next few months. Are looking for some good lease options in Utah County. Need a 3 bed 2 bath (would love 4 bedrooms) where we can bring our dog and cat. Plan to rent for a few years. If anyone knows of anything I will be much obliged. Thanks.
I just had an awesome revelation…when we move to Utah, I will never have to wake up for early morning seminary!!! God knows what I need. LOL
Caroline just grabbed the bag of cool ranch doritos out from the top of the garbage can and said HEY…I guess she didn’t want those last 6 chips to go to waste…just like her daddy.
Oh man, I am gonna hear it from my CA liberal friends, but I really respect Chick fil A for sticking to their moral high ground. They stay closed on Sundays and they don’t believe in gay marriage. What this means to me = Eat more chikn.
I am typically anti-BYU and being a fan of a school just because it is Mormon-owned, but this story is funny
College Basketball Nation

My husband is the most kind and tender man. I love him a lot today. He loves me best when I am the most vulnerable. I am so blessed.
Who takes the garbage out at your house?
I booked the moving truck today. Can’t believe this is happening.
I’m helping out a friend today and have three children in diapers + a 4 year old all day. You know their momma rocks when they are easy enough to give me FB time.
Mom tip1: If they don’t want tylenol @ home; they were faking
What happens when your Sunday School teacher meets your hubby’s buddy from law school. A pretty cool news story about new technology. Small small world.

New technology causing large companies to go under
Philosophers usually baffle me, but this guy seems to know what he is talking about.
On Faith Panelists Blog: The Christian case for Mormon values – John Mark Reynolds
red hot chili peppers on the radio bringing back some good memories…I don’t evr wanna feel like I did that day
is sick of staring at the formatting on the blog. I’ve been making too many changes and I am not staying up until 3 am again tonight.
Pecans in sweet potato casserole and salad are awesome, but I believe they may be best in ice-cream.
Between the chocolate @Taylor Michelle Waters smuggled to me at church and the chocolate in my nightstand my Sunday nap didn’t work out. 😦 Tonight Rx drugs r gonna be my chosen remedy 4 sleep.
Calories only exist if u count them – Dove chocolate
I’ve been late to get my kids 5 times in the last 10 days. I’ve got issues. I owe some teachers and staff some serious Little Debbies. At least it’s never usually more than 5 minutes. It’s a good thing we are moving soon.
Give me one moment in time when I’m more than I thought I could be.
Did I seriously just google Justin Beiber’s new haircut?