FunnyBlog

Impending Summer

You know Summer is just around the corner when your teachers all start looking like this.

No title needed.

No caption needed.

I am so proud that I have blog-trained LG.

He came home last week with this snapped photo just for me.

The Golden Girls…

….we look as unlike a famous Rock Band since The Chipmunks .

But hey, if they can do it, so can we.

We absolutely cannot resist the chance to play a little Rock Band when we see it set up at Sams.

It does not matter how much shopping we have on our list or how close it is to bedtime.

We just know that those Sam’s Club employees set that equipment up for us.

We would not want to disappoint.

If only we could afford to bring one home.

But, of course, if we bought the game Rock Band,

we would then have to add a Nintendo 360,

and then we would need the big screen TV,

and then after we got it set up,

but before we could play,

we we would have to go back down to Sams

and get some onlookers to come home with us.

You just can’t be a Rock Band without some groupies.

(this is starting to sound like the book: If You Give A Mouse A Cookie)

And, everyone would come from far far away to see the Gold’s play.

They would not be able to resist our talent or our charm.

And, I don’t care if the game thinks that we are failures.

We all know that these electronic games come with programming glitches.

A letter to my man

Dear LeGrand,

There is no one on this earth that is happier for you than me.

I am smiling HUGE thinking about you over at your new office,

being your own boss.

You are sitting at that big nice desk,

knowing that you are living the dream.

You must feel so fulfilled and so blessed.

I think that they were all right when

they told us it would be worth it.

God has been good to us and has sustained us.

I know he will continue to bless us.

I know that you are happy to live your dream.

Look at that smile.

I am happy because you are happy.

Even though our lives have been crazy for two weeks straight,

I got used to working by your side.

I want you to know that I am missing you very much.

I think that you are right when you said it’s finally all coming together.

Now that you are working at your own office, I am just wondering one thing.

When will you take me out to lunch?

We could try the quaint BBQ place across the street.

But only if you want to lose weight.

( I thought that this was a sign with a misspelling until I realized their creative play on words.)

I think that this will be a perfect place for us to eat.

We can call ahead and lose wait time.

And since you are such a totally busy lawyer, I know that you need to save time.

And I will patiently wait for you to finish out your work week,

so that I can have some of your coveted free time.

And, then all your girls will go to church and look at you sitting up on the stand.

And we will improve our family, so that we can all love and miss you even more.

And, we will wish that you were sitting by us.

Just like I do right now.

Love,

Alice

Potato Sack Fashion and Perseverance

I’ve taught all of my girls color coordination.

And, I am upset because anyone that matches her shirt

to her potato sack deserves better than 4th place.

Even, if they have a clothesline hickey on their neck.

We were so proud of Abigail at her track meet a few weeks back.

She is a pro at the potato sack race.

Her love for the sport all started at her monstrous 7th birthday party.

She practices all of the time during our backyard cookouts.

Abigail was in a strong second place. She was about to pull out to the front when she stumbled just a bit. She got right back up. She got 4th. She is a winner. Life won’t get her down.

Friends are the best.

I don’t think I posted this yet, but if I did, forgive me.

My friends, Rita and Wendy, and I went out to lunch a few weeks ago.

They surprised me with this darling Rita handmade card, a gift card to a restaurant, and a coupon for a night of babysitting.

They did it just to say congrats to LG for passing the bar. How sweet is that?

I love surprises, especially unwarranted ones.

I have made it a goal to be a better friend.

Cars speak volumes.

All my friends had personalized plates growing up.

I had a plan for what mine would be one day.

IBMEUBU

What does your car tell people about you?

Here is mine.

I am too cheap for personalized plates.

I don’ think I will ever get the cute plate I pondered about for so long.

Because my life is in my minivan,
I thought that the back of my van should start
sporting all the magnets that I could get my hands on.

I want everyone to know what I love when they look at my car.

Don’t you think that Sam’s Club pizza magnet is a nice addition?

The kids are excited to start placing magnets all over our car.

They were bummed when the pizza magnet went missing after two days.

Do you think somebody really needed that take out pizza reference number that bad?

I don’t want to believe that regular size magnets aren’t hefty enough

to withstand the travails of my minivan.

I have plans.

I found a blue man

For almost 6 months,

I have been in the fritz with a company called Allegiant Air.

To make a long story short,

we bought discounted plane tickets from Knoxville to Vegas.

We thought that we would visit my parents in St George in December.

Because LG had to retake his bar prep course, we had to prolong the trip.

Allegiant Air customer service

would only give us an Allegiant Air credit,

but because they stopped their Vegas/Knoxville service,

this airline credit would do us no good.

I called, I wrote, I faxed…

nothing was working towards getting our money back.

Nothing worked, until I found a blue man.

A blue man is my way of associating this cool photo

with a guy who actually breathes and listens.

In my own weird logic,

my favorite man of today is a blue man.

Because he is an excellent human,

he must have blue blood running through his veins, right?

Who is the man?

The man is Mr. Gallagher, Allegiant Air, CEO.

Here is the e-mail I received over the weekend

because of Mr. Gallaher’s commitment to customer service:

Mrs. Gold:
I am in receipt of your letter dated May 11, 2008, to Mr. Gallagher and I apologize for the delay in responding to your inquiries. As a courtesy I have refunded back to the original form of payment $1171.50. Because we no longer fly into Las Vegas we took this into consideration when refunding. However, the $50.00 per person per segment ($100.00 per person) cancel fee does apply per our Terms and Conditions because you declined the Travel Protection.
Again I apologize for the delay in answering your letters.

Sincerely,
Joe Schrider Manager, Customer Relations

“Leadership is the art of accomplishing more than the science of management says is possible”

WOW! I was so impressed.

If I could go to Vegas and shake the man’s hand personally I would,

but because Allegiant doesn’t fly there from here any more, I can’t.

I guess this blog post will have to accomplish my deepest compliments.

Thank you, too, Joe Schrider.

Oh, and thanks to that Reader’s Digest article.

It taught me that if all else fails,

write the CEO,

sometimes they can make action happen faster.

And fast, was an understatement.
I just sent the guy a letter in the mail last week.

I am thrilled that I now have enough money

to drive to Utah this summer.

I don’t even plan to leave for a few more months,

and Mr. Gallagher was finally able to put my travel money back in my hand.

Yeah for Mr. Gallagher and Allegiant Air!

I am so glad that I waited to post about this situation until the happy ending.

I can now tell you all to go there and buy some tickets.

Just be sure to also buy that travel insurance,

so you don’t lose $500, like we did.

Oh, and you will have to go somewhere besides Vegas,

they don’t fly there from Knoxville any more.

But, hey, we finally have our $1171.50 back. I cannot complain. I won’t do it.

Life’s not fair

Life is just not fair.

I preach this message to my daughters.

I figure if they get the message into their tiny little bodies now,

they will be able to enjoy life’s injustices in their bigger mommy bodies later.

Here are some pictures to illustrate my point:

Last week, LG got this.

Abigail got this:

Abigail, Sophia, and Bella got this:

(I have to be honest, I kind of got this too, but if I admit it, the fact would ruin my point)

And, on Friday, here is what I got.

Oh, and I won’t forget to show you what else I got, even though I cringed when LG photographed it.

(I have to say now that I am grateful for LG’s assistance in my blogging goal last week – even if I was too busy to think of it, he didn’t forget)

And, the real reason that life is not fair.

On Friday, after helping LG with his practice all week guess what I got?

After catching up on all my housework,

I then got to spend 4 hours doing my favorite thing ever

and pack the whole family for the weekend!

(I, too, got to enjoy the weekend get-away, along with the rest of them, but if I told you about that here, it would also ruin my mother martyring moment)

Needless to say, last week was extremely busy.

I missed my blogging time. But, hey, life’s not fair. I’ll take it when I can get it.

I will also take the moment from last week when I bonded with a mother of a different species.

I couldn’t help but wonder how this mother bird feels about her duties on the home front?