FunnyBlog

Scarlett Jam

I recently read The Scarlett Letter and I couldn’t help but compare its fundamental depravity in judging others and outcasting people over the higher law of chastity with what has just happened with BYU basketball player Brandon Davies. Most of you may not know, but one of the key players was kicked off the team mid-season for admittedly having sex with his now pregnant girlfriend. BYU basketball has had an epic year and it was even rumored that they might take the first seed in the NCAA tourney. That is huge, but now they lost one of their most pivotal players.
Apparently BYU is one of the only schools left on the planet that actually makes college students live up to an Honor Code.  Part of me is proud to be part of church with a University that enforces higher personal standards, and the same part of me is ashamed. When reading this article tonight in the BYU newspaper I was taken back by it’s reference to justice. I guess I tend to be the kind of person more worried about mercy.
Originally I had written in this post that I wished that the University could have let the kid finish out the season so he would not have had to be living such public shame. I felt like if he does ever come back to play, they may as well iron a big old Atlanta Brave A to his jersey. It’s not that I didn’t think he should experience the ramifications of his disobedience and that he should repent. I have personally known many others who had to put their education on hold for a bit while working through their worthiness issues. I just don’t think that it was to anybody’s good to make such a public display of a man’s very personal life.

It’s such a sad thing for me to think about. It’s one of those things where two important principles seem to clash. Yes, let’s have a high standard, and yes, let’s love others, but how can we do both of these simultaneously? I feel like Brandon Davies has become a Hester Prynne and that just like the uptight community of the Puritan days, BYU sold him out to dry. My husband said that it wasn’t BYU that did this to him but his own actions and the media. He knew the standards he had agreed to when he signed on at the school.

When rethinking the option of letting Brandon Davies finish out the season, that would require the school to treat him with preferential treatment. As they kick all Honor Code offenders out immediately, it’s not that Brandon Davies should somehow be exempt.

I guess I am gonna be the kind of girl that stands at the Pearly gates and begs God to let in all the sinners. I  think that I need to study it out some more WHY God has standards in the first place and why I resent being controlled and others being controlled. If anything this news-story has been a lesson to me that our actions are never just about us, but they are also about our significant others and the people who observe us. But mostly it’s about us and our relationship with our Lord, and I hope that Brandon Davies will remember that while experiencing such severe punishment and horrible scrutiny. I pray that His Lord will carry Him through and allow Brandon to feel an extra dose of God’s love to counterattack everyone else talking about him negatively.

And let the record be made known that I would be best friends with Hester Prynne, well at least I would be until her demon child yelped at me. Hester’s kid is portrayed really scary in the book and it kind of freaked me out.

And that is my rant to go along with such an enticing church sign that can be found directly down the street from me right now. It’s like there are Scarlett Letters screaming at me everywhere. LG and I even watched that movie A+ last week when there was nothing else new at Redbox. It was kind of good. Too much language and sex, but doesn’t that make it just like every other movie out there? And if LG and I actually watch these movies, does that make us like Brandon Davies or Hester Prynne? And, aren’t we all like them? Isn’t that really the point  most necessarily understood by us all…we all fall short of perfection so really we should give each other grace? I’m glad I never went to BYU so I can criticize the way they have thrown a good young man who made a mistake out to the wolves of society. 
Meanwhile, I am going to make jam with fruit, and I have no idea whether or not it is forbidden.

Dr. Seuss Day

As many of you know, March 2nd is officially Dr. Seuss Day. Our school decided to celebrate a little bit later. Today the kids had the option to dress up like a Seuss character.

I will be the first to admit that I was so happy when they confided in me that they didn’t want to dress up.

“It’s not worth it. It’s too much work”, they said.

I was happy counting my fortune and then changed gears and wondered if it wasn’t too late to convince them to participate. I started to worry if I was teaching my kids to be lackadaisical. All sorts of things started flying through my mind: chore charts, money lessons, bribing techniques, desperate measures, and many other memories associated with teaching the kids to work.

I quickly snapped out of it. Should it really be a life crisis that my kids don’t want to do an optional dress up for school? It’s not like they’ve never dressed up before.

I quickly googled the master himself to see if any of his writings would back me up:

“Be who you are and say what you feel,
 because those who mind don’t matter
and those who matter don’t mind.”

I don’t care if the kids dress up and I am pretty sure that the people at school who may think it matters, really won’t mind if my kids don’t participate.

And just that fast I felt free.
It didn’t require going here or there.
Or eating green eggs or ham.
Or counting fish.
Or dressing up a cat in a hat.

It just required this mom to let go of her own issues to give her kids some space to underachieve.

If you want to read something funnier about Dr. Seuss that is slightly inappropriate for children (wink wink) go here. You will laugh.

PS22

Do you remember this old post from January 2010?

I introduced you to PS22. A public school choir in New Jersey. Mr. B is their amazing teacher.

Well, guess what I just found out?

This choir sang at the Oscars.

I was so ahead of my time.

I love it when that happens.

And I love Mr. B.

What an inspiration.

Here is another one of my favorites.

Detesting

There are very few things I detest in this world.
But today I am going to try and narrow it down to the things that really rub me raw.

1 – I hate it how US society is so celebrity worshiping. I don’t care about Bristol Palin. Serioulsy, why does anyone care about her? Because her mom ran for Vice-President and lost out to Obama and whoever is his Vice-President? And yes, I am admitting to not knowing who the Vice-President of the United States is. I seriously don’t know. This is a truly pathetic admission given that I now know that Chuck from that show my husband used to watch can kind of sing. I just got done watching the video of him and Katherine McFee. The only way I am going to know the name of the VicePresident is by googling it. Joe Biden. I somewhat remember that. There, now I am not as ignorant as most other Americans. But then again most other Americans know Angelina Jolie’s boob size when all I care about is why she is letting her beautiful daughter walk around dressed up like a boy.

2- I don’t like fake people. Oh, you never make any mistakes. Wow. Your kids are perfect. You and your husband are madly in love; you mean you NEVER fight. uh-huh. You actually have the energy to put up decorations in celebration of each month’s holiday? Do we really need more crap in this country? How about this? How about we all quit decorating and send some bread to Africa? Or some water wells. Or some People magazines. Surely, we aren’t the only country who needs a fix. Maybe some leprechauns could actually put my old plastic gold-pail to use? And mail it back to me? Full?

3- Brussel-Sprouts. I have never tried them. But they look gross and they smell gross. Thus, I have never tried them.

4- People who are overly obsessed with body image. I have friends with eating disorders. Probably most of my friends have struggled with an eating disorder at some time in their life. Heck, I have an eating disorder called over-eating. I also have friends who spend a whole heck a lot of time on physical training…lots of them live in California. he he (And, if you think I am talking about you, I am not. I am talking in generals…very broad generals.) Some may call it their mental health ticket or a phase and some feel it their calling to shove raw foods down your throat, while simultaneously spewing the benefits of smoking pot….are you kidding me? But I think eating healthy and exercise sometimes is just an obsession or it just becomes an avoidance technique…just as much as my overeating is. Now, mind you this is coming from the perspective of someone who needs to lose some pounds. But, really people, is it gonna matter that much when we go to meet our maker if we ran every day of our life? Or never ate a trans fat? Now, I totally understand that there are plenty more people out there who hate the fatties, but doesn’t that just remind you of middle school? Can’t we all just love each other? Can’t you see past my extra pounds, if I see past your obsession with the gym? Or marijuana? Why do we all have to be the same? Here is a link to a great post for eating disorder awareness. I would just like to add one thing to Cjane’s post. Change starts with society as a whole. If I don’t want my daughters to have eating disorders, I don’t only need to have a healthy body image, I need to try and promote healthy across the spectrum.

4- I don’t  like people who are self-righteous or think that they are too intellectual for most. I learn from my kids every day, and I think that I know more math than they do. Well, at least Sophia, Bella, and Caroline. O.k. I admit it, I go to Abigail for help with percentages from time to time, but really, does that mean she shouldn’t want to associate with me? Or that I can’t teach her anything? Every person on this earth is of great worth. Some of the greatest worth to God, may be the most simple minded.

5- Bullies. I don’t hate them, but I feel sorry for them. I try to understand them and if I could I would try to cure them with my love, but I don’t like how they have chosen to take out their own insecurities on other people.

6- Hypocrites. This goes along with #2. Fake people. Pretty much the same thing, but kind of different. A fake person just wants you to think they have it all together, and hypocrites spend every day of their lives trying to convince themselves they have it all together. My husband says it’s the other way around. Hypocrites know they don’t have it all together, but they condemn other people for the weaknesses they themselves have. Fake people are the ones that think they have it all together.

7- Self-righteousness, dishonesty, mean people. (These are all the things that my husband could think of when I asked him) When I begged for more he says, “me, somedays.” You got that straight. We have a healthy love hate relationship.

8- Women who, when they have the rare girls’ day out, can only talk about beauty tips and the plastic surgery they want to get. Men who covet women like this.

9- Really large dangling earrings. For some reason all I can think about is some baby ripping them through your flesh. And it really hurts my ears. Literally. I think I might be a little ADD. I guess I have held too many babies or read too many National Geographics. O.k. I didn’t read, I only looked at National Geographics. Does anyone actually read those magazines? Oh yeah, those people who are too smart to talk to me.

10- Boogers. I don’t like them and I don’t like the word booger. Today Caroline was trying to prolong naptime and was screaming out of her mind. I went in to check to see if she had lost her pacifier for the 15th time by chucking it across the room and she held out her blanket to me and said, “booger”. She had wiped her nose on her blanket and was freaking out. Who says that aversions aren’t genetic?

11- People who actually listen to their preacher when they say Mormons aren’t Christian. I love to talk to other people about their beliefs. Why don’t some of these Southern people actually talk to a real live Mormon about what we believe instead of just believing their obviously paranoid preacher?

12- The fact that my husband can never stay awake past 10 p.m. when I am in my prime, but I guess that this works as I then have blogging time AND a man to do morning duty.

13- Extra needy people. C’mon people, get a hold of yourself. Figure out why you need to be needed so bad. If you are always looking to other people to solve something for you, then it is time you went to see some of those really smart honest people so that they can help you out.

14-  Really foul mommy bloggers. How can this dooce girl have the second most popular mommy blog? That tells me something about where our world is headed. I don’t want to mention her or mamapundit, in case you get so curious you will go there. I have perused both these blogs and if they are the most popular representation of parents in America, then we live in a very scary world. Not to mention the people who actually read and comment. I believe they are some of the most horrible people; they pretty much have no morals. Does this make me self righteous?

Oh no, I guess I don’t like myself. Maybe detest is too strong of a word. Maybe I shouldn’t even say I don’t like these things. Maybe I should just say that I am puzzled by them. Therefore, when I read back and realize that small parts of me actually have to admit to some of these character flaws, I won’t have to hate myself, but just stay in my state of searching self understanding.  Why do I hate decorating? Maybe I should throw out a curse word for good measure.

15 – Oh and to leave out on an odd number – that material that they make sleeping bags and running suits out of. I can’t stand when it rubs together. Funny, I do like to run and camp though, but I find less annoying gear.

My husband has accused me of the purpose of this post being to stir the pot. He may be right. I want more blog readership, what can I say? I also just want to get back to my real self of being more honest about who I am. I completely respect that you are different than me. I hope that this will not come off as judgemental, as I really have tried to adopt the life mantra of accepting people as they are. I just got a worrisome e-mail from a friend saying I hurt her feelings about the decorating, and I thought I better post my reply for the rest of my crafty friends who I love wholeheartedly.


I am so sorry that I hurt your feelings. Maybe I should have been more specific. I didn’t mean ANY decorating was bad. I was just talking about the over excessive love of stuff. People seriously spend a ridiculous amount of money on trinkets for every holiday and go all out on a monthly basis making their home a shrine to hearts or shamrocks or easter bunnies or June umbrellas. 

If it would make you feel better, I will take that paragraph down. Really. Of course I was absolutely NOT referring to you or any of my friends. Maybe I should make that known. I like to think that the people that I associate with have a lot more substance than that, as I know you do. I came across this blog where this lady literally has a whole huge shelving unit in her living room full of decorations. As you know, this is not my thing. It’s also really hard to see stuff like this when I know so many people suffer without the basics. 

I totally agree with you 100% that each person is entitled to their own hobby. I actually love reading blogs about those hobbies, and seeing what people come up with, but I hope you understand that I am also entitled to my hatred of the way Americans are overly spoiled and inconsiderate of others when they spend so much time and effort on making their homes so amazing just so they can feel better than other people. 

I am not sure if this is gonna make it any better for you, and maybe what you really want is for me to completely change my opinion of decorating all together, but I just don’t see that happening, but please know that I don’t judge the individual; I have a ton of friends with gorgeous homes. I just judge the practice of competing with others in any form. 

Is there something else I can say to keep you as my friend? I really feel awful.

Facebook – February 2011

So you know you are a recluse when the only way you know you could possibly be under a tornado watch is because you got on facebook.
I only bowled a 99. Man, I am out of shape and practice. Anytime I have bowled in the past 5 years it has been with a bumper. Make a big difference.
listening to Madonna is putting me in the mood to go bowling with the girls…just like the 80s minus the short skirt
having a forgetful teenager + a crazy toddler equals frustration….been searching for a missing cell phone for 48 hours.
I am pretty sure I scratched my eyeball when I failed to avoid something that flew up into it while changing Bella’s sheets today. red eye and pain all day. surely dead skin cells can’t cause such damage. I think it must have been something left behind by our dog. No more doggies sleeping in the bed.
Oh, and we solved the case of the missing cell phone…it was in the bottom of Abigail’s backpack. It only took 60 hours. If only I made her clean it out thoroughly the first two times I asked her to look in there.

I think an hour at the doctor was worth getting notes for Bella and Sophia to be home with me tomorrow. Excited. They feel fine, but they told me to keep them home tomorrow. I see some movie watching and cookie making in the future.
I am confessing to having a chocolate stash in my nightstand.
I really wish I had enough energy to enjoy American Idol tonight. Night yall.
We will be moving to Utah in the next few months. Are looking for some good lease options in Utah County. Need a 3 bed 2 bath (would love 4 bedrooms) where we can bring our dog and cat. Plan to rent for a few years. If anyone knows of anything I will be much obliged. Thanks.
I just had an awesome revelation…when we move to Utah, I will never have to wake up for early morning seminary!!! God knows what I need. LOL
Caroline just grabbed the bag of cool ranch doritos out from the top of the garbage can and said HEY…I guess she didn’t want those last 6 chips to go to waste…just like her daddy.
Oh man, I am gonna hear it from my CA liberal friends, but I really respect Chick fil A for sticking to their moral high ground. They stay closed on Sundays and they don’t believe in gay marriage. What this means to me = Eat more chikn.
I am typically anti-BYU and being a fan of a school just because it is Mormon-owned, but this story is funny
College Basketball Nation

My husband is the most kind and tender man. I love him a lot today. He loves me best when I am the most vulnerable. I am so blessed.
Who takes the garbage out at your house?
I booked the moving truck today. Can’t believe this is happening.
I’m helping out a friend today and have three children in diapers + a 4 year old all day. You know their momma rocks when they are easy enough to give me FB time.
Mom tip1: If they don’t want tylenol @ home; they were faking
What happens when your Sunday School teacher meets your hubby’s buddy from law school. A pretty cool news story about new technology. Small small world.

New technology causing large companies to go under
Philosophers usually baffle me, but this guy seems to know what he is talking about.
On Faith Panelists Blog: The Christian case for Mormon values – John Mark Reynolds
red hot chili peppers on the radio bringing back some good memories…I don’t evr wanna feel like I did that day
is sick of staring at the formatting on the blog. I’ve been making too many changes and I am not staying up until 3 am again tonight.
Pecans in sweet potato casserole and salad are awesome, but I believe they may be best in ice-cream.
Between the chocolate @Taylor Michelle Waters smuggled to me at church and the chocolate in my nightstand my Sunday nap didn’t work out. 😦 Tonight Rx drugs r gonna be my chosen remedy 4 sleep.
Calories only exist if u count them – Dove chocolate
I’ve been late to get my kids 5 times in the last 10 days. I’ve got issues. I owe some teachers and staff some serious Little Debbies. At least it’s never usually more than 5 minutes. It’s a good thing we are moving soon.
Give me one moment in time when I’m more than I thought I could be.
Did I seriously just google Justin Beiber’s new haircut?

Really Sick

On Friday morning, I was surprised to find Abigail and Sophia ready to go while Bella was still laying on the couch in her jammies. LG explained that he told Bella she could stay home from school as she had thrown up minutes before.

“Alright”, I said, “but you look fine to me Bella, maybe you should try to go.” Bella was having none of that. I let her stay home. She acted fine all day long.

I picked up Abigail after school; Bella was at home with Daddy and wasn’t in the car for the conversation. Abigail felt it pressing to explain to me that Bella had succeeded at faking it. I told dad this morning that she did not throw up.


All she did was burp and spit.

As Abigail tattled away, I was thinking to myself that I wished I was a morning person so I could catch these things better. I was also thinking it was o.k. because Bella entertained her baby sister while I went back to bed for a few more zzz’s. And this mom can never get enough sleep. So if you don’t like how I roll, just pretend I was sick. I can also burp and spit on demand.

My voice

A friend had this video posted on facebook tonight.

It didn’t make me want to sing; it made me want to listen.

It made me want to use my voice better as a mother.

No more screaming. Only loving.

No more criticizing. Only encouraging.

No more frustrations. Only moments to embrace.

I am blessed by God to raise four beautiful daughters.

Sometimes I fail miserably, but because of God’s grace, I still have a shot every day at being their biggest fan. I get every day to become the kind of mother I want to be.

I hope someday when I am gone, and they are hanging with their children or grandchildren, my girls will have a moment when they say to themselves: “That was the voice of my mother coming out of my own mouth.” And I hope whatever they said was something that I would be proud of.

Not so glee

I have this problem.
I can hardly admit it.
It’s an addiction that a Mormon doesn’t like to talk about.
We try to keep it in the closet as much as possible.

Once in a while it just comes bursting out though.
I need to rid myself of the guilt.
The Glee induced guilt.
It doesn’t feel glee.

Yesterday I was sitting watching the show after school.
Hulu is my best friend, ever since Caroline lost our digital converter remote.
The girls gathered around.
I always get nervous about this.
I know I shouldn’t let them watch such trash.
This episode was particularly trashy.
I try to justify saying it gives us an open communication
about the evils of today’s world.

Well the show was all about under-aged drinking.
Just as the girls gathered around,
the main characters were gathering at a party.
Before I knew it, they were all drinking heavily
and doing stupid things associated with intoxication.

I said, “See kids, this is why Dad and I won’t allow you to go to parties where there is drinking.”

Later, Bella wandered off for an after school snack.
As she came walking back towards our TV viewing via PC,
she immediately noticed that the characters
had advanced to drinking at school.
Without missing a breathe, she hollars,
“See Mom, this is why you shouldn’t allow us to go to school.”

Work

My friend Aimee gave the women of our congregation 
a wonderful lesson on Sunday.
It was about the eternal principle of work.
Work is something I have thought a lot about lately. 
Which is funny given this quote I just read.


You cannot plough a field by turning it over in your mind.  ~Author Unknown


Looking at the quotes on the internet today allowed me to hang myself. I am guilty. I admit it. I think too much and work too little. Especially at times when I am under a lot of stress.
Maybe I should say that I eat too much and work too little. That might be more accurate.


I thought that you all may enjoy some of my favorite quotes about work. 


Some people dream of success… 
while others wake up and work hard at it.  ~Author Unknown


Be not afraid of going slowly; 
be afraid only of standing still.  ~Chinese Proverb


Things may come to those who wait, 
but only the things left by those who hustle.  ~Abraham Lincoln


Opportunity is missed by most people 
because it is dressed in overalls 
and looks like work.  ~Thomas Edison


The difference between try and triumph is a little umph.  ~Author Unknown


I am also attaching this cool little video. It’s inspiring. And let’s face it, I need some inspiration so that I can get off this computer, put the oreos away, and get the laundry done.

For those of you not familiar with the Latter Day Saint (Mormon) culture,
watch until the end when this kid goes on his Mormon mission.


Think about what it would be like 
to send your kid off for two years 
knowing you would only be able 
to talk on the phone twice a year.
And tell me that your mom heart doesn’t just burst into tears.

Inspiring people of my faith work and sacrifice every day. 
First of all, every position in our charge is filled by lay ministry (for lack of better terms). Nobody gets paid.

Our Bishops (equivalent to Baptist pastors) work full-time jobs, are married and usually have kids, and administrate and shepherd the whole congregation.

We currently have over 50,000 full-time missionaries 
serving 18mo-2year missions all around the world. 
And they work so very hard. 
I know because I was one of them.
We worked every day from 6:30 in the a.m. until 9:30 in the p.m.
The schedule was grueling.
Even on the Sabbath, missionaries didn’t get rest from their full-time missionary service.
We would take 8 hours of one day a week to accomplish 
letter writing, grocery buying,  laundry doing, and apartment cleaning.
We were lucky to sneak away an hour or two for actual rest, 
which I would usually try to find some kind of physical challenge. 
I was very happy when I had companions 
who liked to hike or play volleyball or basketball.
I need to rediscover the work ethic I had back then. 





Of course the only picture I have scanned is when I wasn’t actually working.
Hey, but at least there are no oreos in the photo.
Even though my vest and white shirt getup is making me obsess over the creme filled centers.


Man, I am stressed out.
It’s no wonder why I am avoiding work. I don’t want to do it.


I wonder why we could never get this guy to come to church with us. Check out his resemblance to Jesus.