Funny

I’ll Take My Church With Humor

LG doesn’t understand why I think this guy is funny, but he couldn’t hide his chuckle at The Eye of the Tiger. Lots of Mormons are funny. I recently learned of this funny guy Shaycarl on youtube. He’s a Mormon. He’s kind of obnoxious. He has four kids. He lives online. Wow, it’s like we are long lost twins. Except he is famous and makes his living on youtube and I am only known by my 800 friends on facebook (and only 1/8th of them read my blog) and I don’t make any money. But, it’s all good, I blog for me. And it’s always flattering that anyone actually reads this thing.

Well, you know how I love my church signs. You also know how I love a good laugh. And you know how I get giddy when we combine the two. If you are with me, you must check the link below. It is a great church sign war. And I believe the funny Catholics won.

This is hilarious.

I think that I agree with the Catholics, and not only because they are funny. Rocks will be in heaven because heaven will be here on earth. Why would the rocks have any need to go anywhere else?

Funny Dads are best

Check out the dad who dressed up every day of school last year to wave his son off.

He has entertained his son, all the kids on the bus, his neighbors, and a whole lot more via the world wide web.

I am so grateful his wife recorded every single outfit.

This is my kind of guy. Thanks to whoever you are that turned me on to the local Utah County phenomenon by sharing this news article on their facebook.

I looked and laughed at every single picture.

I wish I had ideas as good.

I wish more people in this world could turn away from the wicked stuff and just go back to having a good old time.

My Tennessee influence has to claim this get up the winner of all.

But now that I am in Utah again,
this is a very close second.
I wonder if they played missionary tag that day at school 
in honor of the ultimate funny dad?

I’ll take my car with some humor, please.
Somebody posted this picture on facebook and I went online to find the source.
Bravo to two car companies with a sense of humor.
I guess these billboards are a few years old.
Yet humor is timeless.
And hilarious.
Who knew I was mature?
Do you want to know what’s really funny?
The noise my husband’s car makes whenever you put it in reverse.
I am so glad I have learned to laugh at trivial nonsense.
And that in my heart I can have peace
and know that temporal things don’t matter.
Not one bit.
The most important thing is that I keep my cool.
And it’s kind of fun to have a good little test with our cars.
How long can it make that noise and still run
before it won’t run at all?
I think with LG’s new workplace being only 2 miles away,
and the fact we are purchasing him a bike this weekend,
we may have this car noise around for a very long time.
I am holding out for a year or so.
And really, it’s funny that we purchased his car in 2000,
and it will most likely be the car 
that all of our children are going to drive
when the turn 16.
Not only funny,
but a testament to Honda.
Speaking of children getting older,
wait for my post tomorrow. 
I am old.
Very very old.
So old I that I may go and finally get my ears pierced.
To rebel against my mom and her mantra
that if God wanted holes in my ears he would have put them there in the first place.
You see, I think I may have to show Abigail that she can do it.
And be the trial run.
Maybe we can get matching studs.
Oh yeah, we already have a matching stud.
He’s a guy with a car that makes a funny noise.
How sexy.

Second String

It has been so awesome to see my husband happy again. He has been so stressed out for so long and I have hated seeing him sad. LG is loving his new job and I couldn’t be happier for him. LG has really been missing basketball for a long time. I think one of the things he loves most about his new job is that the whole office plays basketball at lunch, almost daily. Doesn’t he look happy?

In Tennessee, I had been encouraging him to start his own basketball team, so that he could get in more playing time. Basketball is his favorite sport and his chosen form of exercise. The bad thing is, it’s hard to play by yourself. He teased that he would only invite the fat and out of shape to play.

We started joking about it, LeGrand telling me that he couldn’t start his own team because it would be obvious to all his in-shape friends who had their own team that he was trying not to be left out. “C’mon, honey, this is about you, not them. You would feel so good to play again, and you would be forced to work it into your schedule, once you made a commitment. There are probably plenty of other guys out that who would love to play, but aren’t good enough to be asked. You should make a team for them and in the name of playing for fun and exercise and not for winning.”
And then I chimed in with this goodie:
“It would be cool, you could name the team Bench-warmers. Or how about Second String?”
LeGrand laughed. I laughed. We had a good laugh. Laughing is healing. Funny that my blog is call imsofunny. I need laughter in my life. I need healing.
Somewhere in that amazing brain of his, LeGrand decided that I would not get the last laugh at his expense. He would get me back for the bad joke. Weeks later, he and I got into another conversation. This time, it was about a musical number that was put together. I usually had an invite to sing alto. This time I did not. In fact, the newly formed group was singing the same song that I sang with them last time. Another friend of mine, who was now in while I was out, and had no idea, I had been outed, informed me. 
LeGrand and I got talking about the situation. I said, “It’s o.k. I’m pretty over life right now, maybe they knew I didn’t need to add one more thing to my plate.” What I needed to do was be more like Christ. And care more about the people who are our friends than my own feelings of pride. I should be happy for them that they have the best basketball team and the best singing group, even if that means we can’t be a part of it. I should sit through the church meeting and feel the Spirit of the Lord with their voices being raised, and not need to be included, except to appreciate it from the sidelines.
I told LeGrand that I believe my singing career had just found the end of the road. It’s not worth it to be included and then to not be included. I can’t help it that I am overly sensitive. LeGrand told me that I was wrong and that I loved to sing, and that I was good at it, and I shouldn’t let this little episode completely discourage me. And then, LeGrand, turned to go to the bedroom and change out of his suit. And like LeGrand, with his incredible timing and humor, he said, “Alice, you should start a musical group of your own. Really. You could call it Second String.”
Good one LeGrand. Good one. I love my husband. He really is great at a lot of things. Like being forgiving, being temperate, being funny, and being the best second stringer of all time. He’s MY second stringer. And I would rather be on the fourth string team, if it meant we get to be together. Thank you to LeGrand for always making me laugh and trying to teach me to let it go by incredible example. And thank you to Jesus Christ who takes us all from whatever team we are on, and puts us on His team…the best team, no matter what our skill level.

Do Your Duty

At church on Sunday, Relief Society meeting proved for a really good laugh. I just have to share.

The lesson was about how our testimonies evolve. The teacher asked us to think about our first experiences where we felt God was talking to us through the Holy Ghost.

This one woman talked about how she couldn’t remember ever not believing in the truthfulness of the gospel and that God was watching over her. She recalled how she could remember when she was very young, toddler age. They didn’t have primary songs then, but would sing the hymns. One day at Primary, the children sang Put Your Shoulder to the Wheel.

She said that for us to understand, we needed to know that her mom would say they needed to go potty for #1, and for #2, her mom would always say, “do your duty”.

So, now, the lyrics to Put Your Shoulder to the Wheel.

Put your shoulder to the wheel, push along.
Do your duty with a heart full of song.
We all have work. Let no one shirk.
Put your shoulder to the wheel.

Minutes of laughter ensued. Minutes. The more you thought about it the more you laughed.

When everyone calmed down, the woman said that she didn’t think it was funny as a kid, she truthfully thought how wonderful it was that God watched over us so much that he even cared how we did our duty.

More laughter.

I love the women of the church. They are hilarious.

Playground Dangers

While at the Fountain City Park a few weeks back, I found myself if a predicament. A very embarrassing predicament. I was stuck in the tire swing and I could not get out. So what did I do? I took my camera out of my pocket. And took a before and after.

Sophia wasn’t much help in getting me out of the swing, but she did a great job capturing the after, don’t you think?

This wouldn’t have been quite so embarrassing if the swing wasn’t in the view of the whole evening commute from Broadway. It took me 15 minutes to dislodge myself and was appropriately finished with me falling on my butt.

The funniest part is that at the end, I was hanging from the swing upside down. I was sure I would die. My arms were giving up, holding all my weight onto the swing. I din’t want to fall in the rocks. The wet rocks. But, I couldn’t figure out a way to move myself to a more graceful dismount. Sophia said, “Just let go mom. You will be o.k.” I trusted her. She was right. I was o.k. My body was only 4 inches from the ground.

What a workout.

Note to self: Tire swings are only for kids.
Only try the tree swing again if dad is around to help, or you have lost about 50 pounds.

Justin Beiber

Justin Beiber is a big deal in our family. Not because my four daughters drool over him, but because Sophia is quite sensitive on the subject. Her sisters like to tease her about the popstar.

One time Sophia cried for an hour because Abigail said Sophia wanted to marry Justin Beiber.

We try not to talk about the Beiber too often. We all love Sophia and don’t want to cause her any additional emotional distress.

When one of my nieces posted this picture on facebook it cracked me up.

I guess this kid (who believe it or not is not actually Justin Beiber) is the son of my brother’s new girlfriend. My two teenage nieces found his resemblance a little uncanny.


A while back another friend posted something on facebook that I thought was absolutely hilarious.

Cameron Smithson used to be a full-time Mormon missionary serving in Knoxville, TN. He is from California and we got along just great; we fed him and his missionary companion many meals. He is a really funny guy.

On his facebook he made reference to Hinckley’s 6 Be’s. Gordon B Hinckley was the President of our church and his counsel to the youth of the church to be grateful, smart, clean, true, humble, and prayerful was quite the phenomenon among church members for a while. Great advice if you ask me.

Now that you have the background, you will be able to laugh we with me at Cameron Smithson’s status.

Be grateful.
Be smart.
Be clean.
Be true.
Be humble.
Be prayerful.
Be – ber?

I hope Sophia won’t get wind of this post.

Table Talk

I am sure that our family is much like most others.

I am sure of it until we sit down to dinner. My husband and kids are all the entertainment a girl could ask for.

Here was the conversation the other night:

LG:
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs hanging on a wall?
Girls:
Art

LG: What do you call a man with no arms and legs floating in a lake?
Girls: Bob.

LG: What do you call a man with no arms and legs in your mailbox?
Me: Envelope?
LG: Bill

Me: Did you just make that one up?
LG: (with a smirk) “Yeah, good one, huh?”

LG: What do you call a man with no arms and legs on your doorstep?
Me: Matt

LG: Why do you have to take my punchline, huh?

Me: What do you call a man with legs and arms that tells bad jokes?
Girls: Dad!!!

LG: What do you call a man with arms and legs that is not appreciated by his family?
Me: Dad?

Bella: What do you call a woman with arms and legs that tells bad jokes?
Silence.
That’s right they know who is boss.
They also know who cooks dinner.

Not so glee

I have this problem.
I can hardly admit it.
It’s an addiction that a Mormon doesn’t like to talk about.
We try to keep it in the closet as much as possible.

Once in a while it just comes bursting out though.
I need to rid myself of the guilt.
The Glee induced guilt.
It doesn’t feel glee.

Yesterday I was sitting watching the show after school.
Hulu is my best friend, ever since Caroline lost our digital converter remote.
The girls gathered around.
I always get nervous about this.
I know I shouldn’t let them watch such trash.
This episode was particularly trashy.
I try to justify saying it gives us an open communication
about the evils of today’s world.

Well the show was all about under-aged drinking.
Just as the girls gathered around,
the main characters were gathering at a party.
Before I knew it, they were all drinking heavily
and doing stupid things associated with intoxication.

I said, “See kids, this is why Dad and I won’t allow you to go to parties where there is drinking.”

Later, Bella wandered off for an after school snack.
As she came walking back towards our TV viewing via PC,
she immediately noticed that the characters
had advanced to drinking at school.
Without missing a breathe, she hollars,
“See Mom, this is why you shouldn’t allow us to go to school.”

Hokey Pokey

Jordan, my brother-in-law is funny. I really really love hanging with him and his wife Meagan. In fact, they are some of my favorite people to hang with. Jordan is one of the only stay at home dad bloggers that I know. Read this recent funny post. He is teaching his kids well. The shirt that Jordan is wearing in the above photo says “I work out every day”, and it has a wii controller on it. This shirt goes perfectly with the theme from Jordan’s background on his blog: Super Mario.

So, a funny story about my dear Jordan. It is completely inappropriate and that is why he will love this post. Another thing I love about Jordan is that he actually reads my blog; even my own family doesn’t do that.
One night a while back we were all sitting around a campfire at my in-laws. We got talking about stuff. I can’t even remember how it went. I waited too long to blog it. I think that somehow we got talking about the love life of my mother and father in law. Not in specifics, but just in general fun. I said something about hanky panky.
Jordan then chimes in with, “No, you know they don’t call it that when it involves a Virgina Tech grad?” My father in law is a proud Hokie. My mom and dad don’t do the hanky panky…they do the Hokey Pokey.
I know I am not doing the real incident justice, and I am sure that Jordan will clarify the details, but all I can say is that I have not laughed that hard in a very long time. I couldn’t breathe.
And it’s moments like these that bond Jordan and I together. We thrive on impropriety. And really, life would be so boring without people like us.

Oh yeah. This joke went on forever. Put your right hand in. Put your right hand out. Put your whole self in. Put your left hand in. Still laughing.