Friendship

Legal Assistants
LG’s law practice is a thing of the past. I think sometimes he misses it a little bit. Although he would never admit it. For any of you starting your own practice my husband will gladly give you some advice. Have a partner. The other thing he will tell you was told to him by a smart law professor.
“Get a good assistant and keep her.”
The first year of LG’s law practice I was the assistant. I guess I wasn’t good enough because he didn’t keep me. We often joke that I think I quit and he thinks he fired me. Either way it doesn’t matter. What really happened is I had a baby and it was too hard for me to take care of the baby, the other girls, LG, and his practice. I was forced to let LG take a portion of his take home pay and divvy it out to a real assistant.
I can’t remember the details, but before I knew it, LG had hired two assistants. 
You see, he tries to be a humble guy and will gladly admit to needing all the help he can get.
The other lawyers that got to know is assistants always teased LG that he knew how to do things right. It was more than a little eery that they would all make the same joke:
“LG, you must be one hellofaguy. You have a blonde assistant on T and TH and a brunette on M,W,F.”
Yuck.
I really had to work on my confidence for years, and a wife really doesn’t need jokes like that. For a long time LG and I had an understanding that the only assistant he was going to have was a gay man.
But then came Sheena and Stephanie. I trusted these girls with my life and my husband. And they took really good care of him. I think if LG were to enhance his new job in any way, he would request a personal secretary to do all the things he doesn’t like doing. These girls were a godsend. They relieved my man’s stress level by about 40%.
Funny, by the pictures you would think that Sheena was the brunette and Stephanie was the blonde, but when they worked for LG, they both had opposing hair colors to these photos.
Sheena on her wedding day.
I stole this photo from her facebook.
Stephanie on her graduation day.
She e-mailed me this photo.
And gave me permission to use it on my blog.

When Stephanie was working for LG, her mom showed me a pair of shoes that Stephanie had requested for her birthday. Upon seeing them, I begged her not to wear them to work. No explanation needed. She honored my request. Or didn’t she? I can’t remember. It really didn’t matter. I was just joking with her.

You can imagine my entertained laugh a few weeks back when opening an e-mail with this photo from Stephanie. Stephanie had graduated from paralegal school. She said she had to wear her heels to make a statement.
I replied with, 

My thought was what point were you trying to make…that all legal assistants have to be hot? Because if that’s the case, my sex life should have been a lot better than it was during that year that I worked for LG.

Of course I wasn’t serious.

My girls
My girls all know that they revealed Katniss because I e-mailed them
as soon as I discovered the magazine cover.

About a year ago I decided that I finally had enough friends to fulfill a lifelong dream of starting a book-club.

Here is a photo of my last chance to attend back in March. I guess the ladies will be carrying on the tradition without me. Which makes me totally ecstatic and extremely depressed. Tonight I may have to go out with LG dressed up like a woman. The thought is cracking me up.

While living in Tennessee, one of my greatest life lessons was how important relationships are and how we need to allow others into our lives. The bi-monthly meetings I had with these women was a manifestation to me of God’s love and support. These women are smart. They are fun and they are some of God’s greatest creations. They offered me complete acceptance and love and I miss them somethin awful. I love them all dearly, even the ones missing from the photo, and especially that one in the middle of the photo that got her head cut in two.

The good news is that moving so far away hasn’t taken any satisfaction away from reading. I can still enjoy many many books. It’s just that whenever I get done reading a really good one, I have this overwhelming urge for a Panera Apple chip salad and some conversation. I think I will be 85 years old and reminiscent of the good old days with my ladies.

Not only have I made memories with these ladies that I can’t shake, they have shaped my universe. I can’t think of any better ladies to do my shaping. The other day I was at the bookstore and I found myself advising an unsure buyer that her friend would love reading The Help and I thought of the evening we all spent at Valerie’s house. LG came home from work a while back and told me that  actors had been cast for the movie The Hunger Games and I thought of the discussion about who like me imagined Peeta chunkier. I saw the The Book Thief on the shelf at the library and thought of Rachel and that daunting voice of death.

The moral of the story: make friends. And read together. It’s bonding. For life. And so enlightening.

Stay with us
Children are one of the greatest gifts we have from God.
So often they remind us of the things that are truly important.
And sometimes they seem to eloquently communicate words that we can’t think of on our own.
Taison and Daimon are some of our favorite boys. We spent a lot of time with them when we lived in Tennessee. This going away card that they made for us was perfection. Pure perfection. So so so sweet.
Thanks to Taison and Daimon for reminding us how much we wish we could stay with you.
It got me thinking of how many times as adults we would like to say to someone else, “Stay with me. Please stay with me,” but we don’t. Why don’t we?
Listen to this Catholic Prayer. 
I think it perfectly communicates who we should be the most worried about staying by our side.
Stay with me, Lord, for it is necessary to have You present so that I do not forget You. You know how easily I abandon You.
Stay with me, Lord, because I am weak and I need Your strength, that I may not fall so often.
Stay with me, Lord, for You are my life, and without You, I am without fervor.
Stay with me, Lord, for You are my light, and without You, I am in darkness.
Stay with me, Lord, to show me Your will.
Stay with me, Lord, so that I hear Your voice and follow You.
Stay with me, Lord, for I desire to love You very much, and always be in Your company.
Stay with me, Lord, if You wish me to be faithful to You.
Stay with me, Lord, for as poor as my soul is, I wish it to be a place of consolation for You, a dwelling of Your Love.
Stay with me, Jesus, for it is getting late; the days are coming to a close and life is passing. Death, judgement, eternity are drawing near. It is necessary to renew my strength, so that I will not stop along the way and for that, I need You. It is getting late and death approaches. I fear the darkness, the temptations, the dryness, the cross, the sorrows. O how I need You, my Jesus, in this night of exile!
Stay with me tonight, Jesus, because in the darkness of this life, with all its dangers, I need You.
Help me to  me recognize You as Your disciples did at the breaking of bread, so that the Eucharistic Communion be the light which disperses the darkness, the power which sustains me, the unique joy of my heart.
Stay with me, Lord, because at the hour of my death, I want to be one with you, and if not by Communion, at least by grace and love.
Stay with me, Jesus. I do not ask for divine consolation, because I do not deserve them, but I only ask for the gift of Your Presence. Oh yes, I ask this of You!
Stay with me, Lord, for it is You alone, Your Love, Your Grace, Your Will, Your Heart, Your Spirit, because I love You and ask for no other reward but to love You more and more, with a strong and active love.
Grant that I may love You with all my heart while on earth, so that I can continue to love You perfectly, throughout all eternity, dear Jesus. Amen!

Second String

It has been so awesome to see my husband happy again. He has been so stressed out for so long and I have hated seeing him sad. LG is loving his new job and I couldn’t be happier for him. LG has really been missing basketball for a long time. I think one of the things he loves most about his new job is that the whole office plays basketball at lunch, almost daily. Doesn’t he look happy?

In Tennessee, I had been encouraging him to start his own basketball team, so that he could get in more playing time. Basketball is his favorite sport and his chosen form of exercise. The bad thing is, it’s hard to play by yourself. He teased that he would only invite the fat and out of shape to play.

We started joking about it, LeGrand telling me that he couldn’t start his own team because it would be obvious to all his in-shape friends who had their own team that he was trying not to be left out. “C’mon, honey, this is about you, not them. You would feel so good to play again, and you would be forced to work it into your schedule, once you made a commitment. There are probably plenty of other guys out that who would love to play, but aren’t good enough to be asked. You should make a team for them and in the name of playing for fun and exercise and not for winning.”
And then I chimed in with this goodie:
“It would be cool, you could name the team Bench-warmers. Or how about Second String?”
LeGrand laughed. I laughed. We had a good laugh. Laughing is healing. Funny that my blog is call imsofunny. I need laughter in my life. I need healing.
Somewhere in that amazing brain of his, LeGrand decided that I would not get the last laugh at his expense. He would get me back for the bad joke. Weeks later, he and I got into another conversation. This time, it was about a musical number that was put together. I usually had an invite to sing alto. This time I did not. In fact, the newly formed group was singing the same song that I sang with them last time. Another friend of mine, who was now in while I was out, and had no idea, I had been outed, informed me. 
LeGrand and I got talking about the situation. I said, “It’s o.k. I’m pretty over life right now, maybe they knew I didn’t need to add one more thing to my plate.” What I needed to do was be more like Christ. And care more about the people who are our friends than my own feelings of pride. I should be happy for them that they have the best basketball team and the best singing group, even if that means we can’t be a part of it. I should sit through the church meeting and feel the Spirit of the Lord with their voices being raised, and not need to be included, except to appreciate it from the sidelines.
I told LeGrand that I believe my singing career had just found the end of the road. It’s not worth it to be included and then to not be included. I can’t help it that I am overly sensitive. LeGrand told me that I was wrong and that I loved to sing, and that I was good at it, and I shouldn’t let this little episode completely discourage me. And then, LeGrand, turned to go to the bedroom and change out of his suit. And like LeGrand, with his incredible timing and humor, he said, “Alice, you should start a musical group of your own. Really. You could call it Second String.”
Good one LeGrand. Good one. I love my husband. He really is great at a lot of things. Like being forgiving, being temperate, being funny, and being the best second stringer of all time. He’s MY second stringer. And I would rather be on the fourth string team, if it meant we get to be together. Thank you to LeGrand for always making me laugh and trying to teach me to let it go by incredible example. And thank you to Jesus Christ who takes us all from whatever team we are on, and puts us on His team…the best team, no matter what our skill level.

Birthdays by Lindsey
My friend Lindsey is crazy about birthdays. 
She remembers EVERYONE’s birthday.
I mean EVERYONE.
She probably remembers the birthdays
of each of the
Presidents of the United States.
Seriously,
she’s got them all memorized.
She also has the most amazing internal GPS.
You can never get lost when she is around.
When I lived in Knoxville, I called her often,
gave her the name of a street I was on, 
and begged her to help me find my way home.
She would talk me through it.
Every turn.
I miss her.
A LOT.
I feel kind of lost without her.
Even though I am sure I can call her from
my new hometown,
and she could still somehow find a way
to help me find my way home,
physically and spiritually.
Back to birthdays,
Lindsey gives gifts even when there is no party
obligating her to do so.
The gifts are always perfectly personal.
She makes her kids special meals for
breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
She also bakes cakes.
Lots of cakes.
And she decorates them.
Here are several of her wonderful creations.
Don’t they get your creative juices flowing?

Popsicle inspired Make-over

Hailey was the first friend the girls made in Tennessee.

She lived next door at her grandmothers for about 4 years.
We enjoyed some time with her right before we left.
We were happily surprised when her recently applied eye shadow 
matched her Popsicle perfectly.
It started all kinds of fun.
Here is the other neighbor Leslie, featuring Tennessee orange.
Go Vols.

Bella was the envy of Sophia.
Purple belongs to Sophia.
No one else is allowed to have purple.
It’s Sophia’s favorite.

Somebody went a little crazy while applying Sophia’s blue.
I think that would have been Abigail.
Blue is Abigail’s favorite.

And last but not least.
Abigail doing the best she can with what was left.
Red.
I guess even red looks orange in Tennessee.

I will forever cherish the memories of our kids playing with the neighbors.
Luckily, they aren’t too old for that.
We now have new neighbors to play with.
We might have to pull out the eye shadow and popsicles one day.

Ramen Noodles

My new across the street neighbor is great. She made us a homemade meal on our first night here. And it was delicious. I loved her homemade wheat bread. It was the perfect breakfast the next morning, toasted with jam. As soon as I get her recipe, I will be sharing.

For now, I am sharing with you a GREAT tip she gave me for a healthier lunch option.

After you cook Top Ramen, throw in a handful of frozen peas. It cools down the ramen and it adds some veggies to the usual carbohydrate overload with no nutritional value.

The bad news is that you will more than likely have a lot of leftover ramen when usually your kids scarf down every last drop.

The good news…more leftovers for mom!

Who knew that a random photo shoot could turn out such cute photos?

Caroline really is our doll baby. I gladly share her with her sisters and dad. None of us can get enough of her.

Nothing like good friends.

Remember this old post where I once again spewed my big mouth.

Let me refresh your memory:

I listed things that bug me. Like boogers, brussel sprouts, and fake people. I spent a significant amount of time talking about people overly obsessed with exercise. My quote was something like, “Do you think God really cares that much if I ran today?” Let me further explain my position. After reading my post, LG’s cousin in law Catherine made a good point. She said that God does want us to take care of our temples, which are our bodies. I just wanted to let her know I agree with her, and I hope I can do a better job of taking care of mine. My previous post was talking about the people who are obsessed, who neglect other really important things in their life because they are more worried about their abs staying hot over anything else.

Now let me explain a little further. My abs were tore to pieces in my first pregnancy. After birthing four children they will never be the same. They used to be pretty nice, but if I ever want them to get back to where they were, I would have to have some kind of surgery. I don’t think God would want me to have a surgery because God is the one who created me. He is the one who knew I would gain weight with each pregnancy, that I would lose muscles where I want them to gain others that are required for raising kids (like greater hips and heart). He knew that I would get grey and wrinkly and physically weaker in ways. His resurrection will be a very quick cure all for these infirmities of mortal life. But, my spirit, is up to me. My spirit is what I like to focus on becaus0,e let’s face it, it could use all the help that I can give it. And yes, body, mind and spirit are all connected, and some people are really great at focusing on all of these at once, but some of us have a lot of work to do and can only give so much focus. And maybe that focus needs to be more on one than another.

Anyhow, I realize I came across very judgemental in that old post, and I want to apologize. I really am a person who tries to be open minded. I do try to love unconditionally and I think I do a pretty good job. I have a big heart and after your many comments here and on facebook, I realized that I didn’t accurately portray my positions. Darn, my writing is still just mediocre. In my defense, I would like to say that I don’t hate the people just the habits. Many of which I myself have. I also botched that in the post. I was trying to portray my own hypocrisy.

Two of the other things I mentioned detesting in the previous post were dangly earrings and the overuse of seasonal decorations. It’s a good thing I have friends who aren’t afraid to call me on my crap and who are also not afraid to be themselves. They also like to tease me. And I love them for it.

Check out two of the pictures that were sent to me after my last post.

I love my friends. They crack me up.

We love Ryan
Ryan has been one of Abigail’s best friends since kindergarten. We absolutely adore him and his family. I am the proud carpooler who gets to take him home from school twice a week. Not only has it been an advantageous situation to get all the scoop Abigail won’t tell me herself, I have enjoyed the time I get to talk to Ryan about his life too.
On Friday Ryan said he might cry for days when we move, just typing that is making me cry. We are gonna miss him so much. He is the sweetest kid.
Ryan loves to read. He loves Cheerwine. He loves his mama and his dad, but I would say he is especially a mama’s boy. He loves to play the saxophone and he loves playing video games. He’s a good big brother. He is so thoughtful; he often saves part of his after-school snack to share with his mom or brother or sister.
The other day he cracked me up while relaying his girl problems to his mom via cell phone. I was in stitches. He was like, “Mom, I don’t understand women. I am afraid to get older.”
The one thing I may appreciate about Ryan the most is that he isn’t afraid to call Abigail out on her crap. He and Abigail are almost like siblings. The other day when we were on our way home from school Abigail pulled out a sign she had made to stick on the back of a friend from school. It made reference to the fact the kid was short. I jumped all over her and I couldn’t do it fast enough.
“Abigail, tear that up right now. You never make fun of someone for the height or their weight or anything. That is not nice. How would you like it if someone pointed out your zits? I will tell you right now I absolutely hated it in Jr. High when kids called me fat. Even if you don’t think it’s a big deal, other kids might be really self conscience. You have to be more considerate. Really. Do you think it’s nice to call people ugly or fat. Short is the same thing.”
I was going on and on. I then said something to the effect of, “Do you think it would be nice for people to call other people four-eyes if they have glasses?”
Ryan quickly interrupted with his finger pointed tall, “I resemble that.”
Ryan is super smart and a great speller and reader. I quit my rant and questioned him, “Ryan, did you mean, you resent that?”
“No, I meant I resemble that.”
Laughter all around.
And I will let you decide if resent or resemble was a better choice of word.
I would never call anyone four-eyes, especially not Ryan. I love this kid. If I could adopt a son, it would be him. He’s one of a kind. And he happens to wear some pretty snazzy glasses.