The Risk of Marriage


After playing an intense game of Risk with my hubby and kids last week, I had an epiphany. During the game, Abigail (my 12 year old) and I were trying to kill each other off. We were fighting for Australia and both of our armies were scarce.

Before my daughter’s next turn came around (where she would have surely destroyed me for good) my husband swooped in from Asia. He killed every last one of Abigail’s guys (winning the game). I was saved. He was my knight in shining armor. Even though the game was over, hours later, I couldn’t let go of the satisfaction that I felt at being rescued by my man. I was figuratively living in peace in Australia with no enemies in sight.

I thought of the significance of having a man who would come to my rescue. This silly little thing meant a lot to me. I am just a romantic waiting to be wooed, what can I say?

Marriage is a risk that we all should take. It’s a risk because we can’t guarantee that our spouse will always be loyal to us. I have experienced the joy of fierce loyalty in my marriage as well as the complete devastation of having a spouse who is selfish. (Haven’t we all?) I choose the joy. Because no one is perfect, all spouses are sure to experience both.

I wonder what would happen in the world if we all could keep the perspective of fighting for one another instead of against one another? Surely world peace has to start in our own homes and neighborhoods.

I can’t speak for all women or men, but in my own marriage, I know that my husband and I are both much happier when I let him be my knight in shining armor. That requires two things: 1-he has to put me first and 2-I have to let him.

And yes, that goes the other way around. The only way we wives can truly be there for our husbands is if we put them first. That is the miracle of marriage. When you take two people who are fiercely loyal to the other you create a symbiotic and powerful union where two people feel completely safe and perfectly loved.

In the real game of Risk, however, you don’t have to kill off your kids. (Well, maybe just for a couple hours a week of alone time.) It is risky to let someone love you. It’s a risk that has to be taken for one’s ultimate happiness. It’s a risk that has to be made over and over again, especially when it didn’t pan out the first time, especially in marriage.

The beauty of marriage is that over two lifetimes, two people choose to risk their happiness on each other over and over again. There will be heartache, but over time, the heartaches will be minuscule and the love and loyalty will win, as long as we keep risking everything for one another.

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