I have this itch to write and I don’t really want to blog. Yeah for the diary feature! Life is good. It’s really good, but isn’t it funny that it is all in the attitude? Happiness is a choice as so eloquently communicated in one of my favorite books Man’s Search For Meaning by Holocaust Survivor Victor Frankl. Loved that book. The more life I have lived the more I realize that the mind is either a powerful tool for happiness or a mean cruel prison for misery. Right now my mind is doing good and I am really happy. Thank you mind of mine.

I’m listening to this constant play on youtube of JJ Heller.  I love JJ. Listening to her always reminds me of the great women’s group I attended at Cokesbury Methodist. Those ladies were my angels at a time in my life when I needed something that my church didn’t have to offer…a 12 step group for Codependency. What a beautiful time that was in my life. Painful but beautiful. Funny the song Your Hands just came on and it said, “that you would take my pain away” and He did. That’s why it was beautiful. “When my heart is breaking I never leave your hands.”

So, the first exciting news is Abigail scored her first goal at a HS soccer game. I was sooooo happy for her. She won the game 1-0. Of course I was home cleaning the kitchen. She always scores when I am not there. I am beginning to think I should miss all her games from now on. NEVER! Last night I got really emotional as I remembered that I had prayed specifically for Abigail to be able to let go of her anxieties and play to her fullest capability. My prayer had been answered. I immediately said another prayer of gratitude.

Funny sidenote about Abigail. We always read all her texts and LG found one really inappropriate one the other day. It had something to do with a boy talking about her nice legs and honey. I’ll just leave it at that. From now on we are going to tease her and call her honeylegs. One really good thing about Abigail is that she has straight A’s so far this school year. She seems to have figured out being organized and getting all her assignments turned in.

Sophia went to her first volleyball practice last Friday and she really loved it. It is one of the best parental privileges to see your kids find their element. I hope she will continue to shine on the court. I want to get her back into art class, but can’t justify the expense right now.

Bella insists that she ONLY wants to play softball from now on. It also makes me smile. She fell in love this Spring.  I am so happy that Bella got a teacher that is perfect for her. She loves Mrs. McManus and I feel God really looked out for us this with this placement this year.

We started piano with all the girls. I hope it will stick. One of Abigail’s soccer friends was over a few weeks ago and when her dad came to pick her up he highly encouraged us to teach the girls the basics and promised me that just 5 minutes a day of practice for them would make a really big difference in their lives. I just felt like it was finally time for LG and I to get to work on teaching the kids. We have talked about it for a long time, but never follow through. It is kind of ridiculous that we both play and aren’t passing the talent along. So, we came up with a simple plan. Either LG or I are teaching all 4 girls at the same time on Sundays for a quick 5 minute lesson. They are then expected to practice for 5 minutes during homework time every day. We will hold a recital every Sunday before the next lesson. Whoever masters the song the best gets a prize. The girls were excited about it this last Sunday and I hope we have started a rich tradition that will last. So far, Sophia seems to take the most interest and enjoys playing always taking way longer then 5 mins. Abigail already had a little piano some years back and with her violin and choir it comes to her easy. Bella though has the hardest work ethic so we could have a good three way battle here. The most fun part is seeing 4-year-old Caroline try to fake along.

Caroline has some musical talent. This past Sunday she played some of the right notes, but sang the whole song perfectly as she played. Last year at one of Abigail’s choir concert the music director gave the pitches to the kids on stage and Caroline belted them all out in perfect pitch. It was kind of embarrassing but also totally awesome. We often talk about getting Caroline into dance, acting and singing. She belongs on Broadway.

Today I took Caroline and Shyloh (the neighbor girl I babysit) to the library. They had a fun puppet theatre in the corner and Caroline was LOVING it. Storytelling is her element.

LG and I had a rough week last week as he was withdrawing and kind of down and I get super impatient and frustrated when he is like that. Our Friday marriage counseling session was super productive and it made me happy. We had a really great Sunday night just connecting after the counselor reprimanded us and told us to always pray and then spend at least 30 minutes every night of connecting time. I felt really close to LeGrand as we took the time to just talk and I was so grateful for the progress we’ve been making, especially in communication and emotional intellect.

We went up to Squaw Peak on Friday night. It was fun to just get away and look over the valley trying to figure out which street was which. There were two 20 something kids up there. They were sitting on the wall in front of their bullet bikes drinking beer. One chucked his bottle down the mountain. It upset both LG and I. We had just a few minutes as the only people up there. It was nice.

I had a great experience at church on Sunday with one of my primary kids. I was able to calm him down from his initial state of borderline hysterical. After about 20 minutes of distracting him with my iPad, he was able to participate. During class I took him out in the hall for just a minute and had a heart to heart with him. I told him I loved him and that he could trust me and that he could tell me anything. His parents had told me that he had been acting really upset for a couple of weeks. I asked him a couple of questions and then felt the distinct inspiration that he was just experiencing typical kindergarten anxieties and exhaustion. I asked him if school was making him tired. His emotions surfaces and I was able to give him a pep talk. It was awesome. It made me happy for my calling.

Tonight LG and I were laughing that he is always in the leadership callings. He doesn’t feel like he is a good leader. I told him that the Lord was going to keep calling him as a leader until he believed he was good at it. LG didn’t say it but I know he was probably thinking the same thing I was. Maybe the Lord will give me a leadership calling when I quit thinking I could handle it with ease. LOL I’m so prideful.

We are really happy in this home. We know though that the landlord wants to sell it. We hope something else will open up in our ward or she will wait to sell it until we can afford to buy it.

I had a thought this morning. God was really being very merciful for calling me home when he did. It hasn’t been easy for the last few months but I have really learned a lot and have enjoyed my motherhood more than ever. With Caroline going to kindergarten next year and me not getting pregnant this is kind of my last chance. I think it really took me surrendering to find the joy. He knew that.

Well I have to run and get Caroline in the bath. LG and I are going to try and play tennis for a half an hour when he gets home from YM so I need to have the kids totally ready for bed.

I need new running shoes. My legs were killing me on tonight’s run and that is always the tell-tale that I need to bite the bullet and buy the shoes. Unfortunately they will have to wait til my birthday. I might have to ride my bike solely til I can get my shoes for my birthday. Part of me is happy that I have been running for two whole years but the other part hates using her birthday money on running shoes. This will be the 3rd year in a row that all I get for my birthday is a pair of shoes! At the same time, I’ve never felt better. I am so happy with my running progress. Now the sugar-free is something I need to do better at; I wish I could find the motivation I had the first two weeks again. I really want to lose that 10 more pounds before my 40th birthday. I can’t believe I am going to be 40. I feel so old. I am my mother.

I’m really really really looking forward to going to the Diana Krall concert with LG next week. He loves her and I am so glad I bought the tickets before we went on vacation because there is no way we could afford it now. We will finally get our delayed 16 year anniversary date next week.