Forgetting the Roadkill

Just a few weeks ago as part of our Spring Break activities, we went, as a family, to one of our favorite places, Bays Mountain Park. As we searched out our favorite animals, we stumbled upon an elderly naturalist volunteer as she gently balanced a black vulture upon her forearm. It was the most intriguing fowl. It was big. It was black. It was a vulture. It eats roadkill. It is not the kind of bird that is beloved or even admired. Yet, I was fascinated; for some reason I saw beauty. I saw the majesty of an eagle in this bird. I wanted to hear all about it.

As the natulralist spoke of the vulture with such endearing admiration, it got me thinking about the conversation I had just had with my therapist. He told me that as I understood myself better I would change my outlook of myself. I would learn to love myself and stop my destructive inner conversation. Well, gee, if this bird could be loved by me, why in the world could I not love me? I thought, “I don’t appreciate myself, and I don’t even eat roadkill!”

As I looked at this vulture, I knew my therapist was right. It wasn’t easy to realize that deep down I don’t have enough self regard, but it was true, and I could work to change it. But, how?

This has been the theme in my life lately. How does one change their thought patterns? How do you change the future without changing the past? How do you love a big black bird when all he does is eat roadkill?

I guess the secret lies in the roadkill. The vulture has a useless reputation because he eats roadkill. In fact when people think of vultures, they rarely think of anything besides one sitting up on a wire waiting for its next dead feast. They don’t think that a vulture is made so unique and strong that it can withstand whatever disease it may eat. Everything about a vulture seems to be designed to assist in his one big job….cleaning up the dead in nature. A vulture is uniquely useful, not useless.

This vulture held powerful wisdom for me. What if I quit thinking about my own roadkill and started thinking about my personal majesty? What if I start realizing that God prepared me very specifically? Just as he had designed the vulture, he had designed me. He may not have given me the most majestically known shell, but he designed me to be useful and he designed me to survive. He masterminded me uniquely to not just deal with life, but to soar above the roadkill.

Well, if I start to see those good qualities, those blessings, those unique abilities, then maybe the roadkill could be diminished, or at the least, shrunk back down to its view from the sky. The vulture in me could be admired and endeared. I wouldn’t have to change from a vulture to an eagle. I could just be amazing because I was a vulture. And if no one else saw me for who I was…..my naturalist would. My maker designed me. And when he loves me, and appreciates me, and is amazed when I just perform up to design, how could I not love me?

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7 comments

  1. LOVE love the thinking and the analyzing going on! Great thoughts! I have always appreciated the vulture for the very reason that they do eat the road kill. It’s part of the circle of life.

  2. Can you imagine…we as humans being attacked and as a defense… we progectile vomit all over the adversary.That’s what vultures do and I think it would stop a mugger dead in his tracks.Vultures also do not build nests and you are mother that has made a wonderful home for your little baby birds.I think it is hardest to love ourselves. Sometimes we are hardest on ourselves.You should make a list.A list of the good things others see in you.I will start it:You have an ability to see what others need. example: making bread and take it to a friend. You cheer others when they need cheering up. So you are a good friend.ToOdLeS.ShEiLaps. I am so glad you don’t eat road kill… then you would have to pee on your legs to disinfect your legs from stepping in dead carcasses.

  3. thought process….something that some of us have to re-wire. For me it is Fear….self destructive thoughts generally come from fear. FEAR-Frig Everything And Run orFEAR-False Evidence Appearing RealSomeday I hope to have the ability to think in a different way. So..I can truly relate to your post! Nice photo! And Ali? I think you are absolutely B E A U T I F U L!!Continue that work on “Slaying The Dragon” as I will be here with sword in hand as well.And to think that there is a restaurant named “Roadkill Cafe”…my kids loved it though! 🙂

  4. Alice, this is wonderful. Thanks for sharing. It can be so hard to see ourselves as we really are and then have the courage to love what we see!

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