How to be a modernized boy band

LG recently expressed his utter amazement at seeing that The New Kids On The Block are making a comeback with saying, “Alice they are a bunch of 40 year old guys dancing around. It was a little weird seeing them on every TV at Wal-Mart at the same time.”

I am not sure which is more eerie: the thought of LG watching a bunch of guys dancing at Wal-Mart or the fact that the 60 year old Wal-Mart greeter could point out and name every member of the band, even in their “twenty years later” disguise?

Either way, I am going to try and refrain from purchasing the CD…and that is said in all facetiousness.

Recently, another boy band was in town. They are a very updated version. (In fact, they are so modernized that I thought they were all dressed like they were “gay” just to find out that they were really wearing the clothes of cool skater type kids….go figure… I am old!) I had never heard of this band before; their name is Varsity Fan Club. And they are living proof that the boy band is back in all its glory. We got to watch them in person. The girls were mesmerized. Really, I was mesmerized too…in between all the photos that is. They were cute and sounded good and boy they could dance….and those are the precise reason that I know they are a boy band.

Here are some photos of them with my version of how to be a modernized boy band:
You have to have a Napoleon Dynamite look a like.
And one boy who dresses normal.

(You know the mom’s in the audience have got to have
something to remember the good old boys by.)
Wear some rad UT orange shades.

And don’t forget your hat or your friendship bracelet.

Have some pit hair.

Do the running man in sloooowww motion.

Flash some peace along while simultaneously sticking out your tongue.

Get an old school Thompson Twins T-shirt.

Kink your neck.

Wear your coolest Michael Jackson gloves of all time.

Sing into your shades instead of your mike.

Hydrate to make up for all that sweating.

Play hide and seek with your younger audience.

They love Danny The Dinosaur.

And, if nothing else works to woo the audience, bow your heads in prayer.
But, remember the cute boy doesn’t have to because he wears the stripes.

Show your audience that it is indeed possible

to dance and stretch in skinny jeans.

If your prayers didn’t work the first time, reach heavenward.

And, don’t forget your scarf.

No matter how winded you are at the end,
please don’t throw up on the audience.



  1. lol i love the captions on the pictures loland i love varsity fanclub too theyre awesome and they CAN dance and CAN sing LIVE at the same time so cool! 🙂

  2. Love it. Alice we went to our Tongan family reunion, these big tongan boys in those hip skinny jeans.. Way too horrible I just thought that they were gay too, tiil I read your post.. Thanks for the lesson.

  3. Oh no, no!My sister was so obsessed with NKOTB back in the day. She even put together a very organized folder with bdays, fav foods, etc for each member of the band.I still make fun of her.

  4. I remember the NKOTB craze when I was young. My friend actually named her son Jordan because she was in love with the new kid Jordan and is still to this day. I, on the other hand, will pass on the new cd.

  5. O.k. so my friend from sacramento told me she went to their concert a couple weeks back. She said it was awesome. How the heck did you get so many pictures, did you take anyone out with your camera ?

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