Photos

Quite possibly the funniest photo of all time.

Go here for a real good laugh.

If you liked this, please come back
and become my 139 or 140th facebook liker.
You can even do it with one click on the sidebar.

Pretty please with sugar on top.

There may or may not be a prize involved.

And never make the mistake of leaving your cup on when the photographer shows up.
Or if you do, please share the result with the rest of us so we can laugh at you like you’re an idiot.

Family Photos in Beautiful Knoxville

Please excuse the post full of pictures of my beautiful family. It may not be that funny. But it will sure be some eye candy.

We’ve been married almost 14 years.

We’ve had 4 kids.

We’ve only had our photos taken at JC Pennies.

Do you spell JC Penny plural

JC Pennies or JC Penny’s?

Anyhow.

You get the point.

This is a confession that tells you two things about our family.

1 – We’ve been poor.

2- We didn’t value a good photographer near enough.

Our friend Jessie was a Saint.

She was in the middle of moving

and we were leaving the State of Tennessee

the very next day.

I had to have some pictures with

my precious dogwoods.

She not only obliged.

But, rocked the house.

Thank you Jessie.

I will love you forever.

Jessie is about to have her first baby any day, so she will probably take a little time off. Or she will be shoving her camera in the face of her best subject ever. She also happens to be a perfectionist. As evidenced by the photos. She doesn’t have a site yet, but if you want to be put in touch with her, just let me know. She will be in the Knoxville area for a little while longer.

I literally cried my eyes out while looking at these photos tonight.

How I miss my Tennessee.

We took these photos at the Knoxville Botanical Garden and Arboretum.

It’s a beautiful place, much like all of East Tennessee.

Lucky for us we got to enjoy it on a perfect Spring day.

It was raining.

Did I mention it was a perfect way to say goodbye.

This is where I wanted the photo, but Jessie being the professional that she is said that we couldn’t set it up right. But, thank you Jessie for sending me this one shot of THE spot. It’s just beautiful. And so fitting of TN. From my favorite trees, to the old rock structure, all the way to the rusted old metal.

Our Sweet Caroline.

Her nicknames are Curls, Boots, and Shirley Temple.

She looks just like her daddy.

Even their smiles are identical.

Our not so sweet Caroline.

Beautiful Bella.

Sweet Sophia.

Adorable Abigail.

The whole family.

The whole family with the dogwoods.

The only picture LG and I have of us kissing since we got married.

You would never know that we were in a fight that day.

Thank you to Jessie for solving all of our 8 years of marital issues that played out during our time in Tennessee in one final moment.

It’s hard to be mad at someone when the photographer requests a kiss.

My favorite picture of all time.
Does it not just scream Tennessee?

I really do love this man so much.

Even more than I love his wife.

Oh no!

I have been getting all kinds of updates from Knoxville.

Friends without power for days.

And just when they were almost in the clear,

another round of

tornadoes came causing more chaos!

Of all the updates I have received, Amanda’s post on Facebook has been the most entertaining of all, by far.

Her caption:

Oh, no! What do I do?

There is always humor.

Even in the midst of suffering.

I prefer the laughter

over the pain.

It’s soothing to my soul.

I am so grateful for friends that

always make me laugh.

Love you Amanda.

Just Ask Alice – Inception (Spanking)

Dana and I go way back. All the way back to California in the 80’s, where she thought I was the coolest girl at camp and decided she wanted to be just like me when she grew up. She has done pretty well with that, except to really pass the Alice look alike test I think she will have to put on a few pounds. Like 100 or so.

A few years ago, Dana and I were shocked to run into each other, after 20 years, at church in Atlanta, where we thought it odd that we both had three children (I believe all of hers were girls) and attorney husbands.

Here is a link to her website, where you will see that she is a talented photographer. I love her style. You can also like her on facebook. And even though her photography is the bomb, let me tell you that Dana is a hoot. I would pay her to take my picture just because I know she could get a real smile out of me. She may not even have to say anything. Just looking at her makes me laugh. She has the vibe.

Dana came up with the idea for Just Ask Alice.

She said she thinks I could give good advice. Little does she know that I have spent my whole adult life-hood learning how to keep my opinions and advice to myself. Or maybe she does know that (or even relates) but she is flattering me and laughing behind my back as she sends me to my own destruction.

But, I like the idea of having things to write about. Things that interest my readers.

Great picture to go with spanking, eh? It was Dana’s idea.
Did I tell you how much I LOVE her photography?
And her sense of humor?

Dana’s question that I will answer:

How do you feel about spanking?

Don’t do it. Unless it’s for your husband. My husband deserves a bunch of spankings right now, but it’s all good cause he likes being spanked.

But really, while raising four children, I have come to realize that spanking is absolutely ineffective.

To show you the proof: My mom used to line us up as kids and spank us with wooden spoons. It didn’t have ANY, not one iota of influence on our behavior, except for making us laugh. And see how I turned out? Good argument, eh?

My mom was a successful spanker. Why? Because she never spanked out of anger. She slapped me as a teenager out of anger, but that wasn’t the question. And in her defense, I pretty much deserved it.

We quit spanking when our oldest was about three, at about the same time we got rid of the pacifier. And while I am writing this, I am realizing that I think there was a connection between the two. Once she was free of the paci and could talk back a whole lot more, I found myself getting more and more out of control with my anger and the more I spanked the more she acted aggressively.

I’ve heard that some children respond to spanking better, but I think I can honestly say that I have many different personalities represented by my children, my siblings, nieces and nephews, and friends’ children and none need to be spanked.

I know I know. Spare the rod, spoil the child. God never said the rod had to come in the form of spanking. We prefer the punishment techniques of withdrawal, torture, humiliation, and time-out.

Keep posted for our children’s future blogs where they discuss all they overcame in therapy.

What’s your take on the subject? Maybe you actually have something smart to say?

Leave me a question for a future Just Ask Alice and I will give you a shout out with the answer.

Oops

Look, Sophia got baptized.

We are so proud of her decision to take upon the name of Christ.

And, she is gorgeous.

Can you believe she picked this dress

at the thrift store for $3.

She HAD to have it.

It’s so Sophia.

“When was the big day”, you ask?

“In October 2009, on her 8th birthday.”

Oh, it’s August 2010; I must be late posting.

No, I just took this picture 2 weeks ago.

Because I realized that I had forgot.

Lucky for me, Sophia is really easy going.

And she can’t be mad at me for forgetting.

Because she covenanted to be Christ-like.

I wonder how long it will take for me to

remember child #3’s baptism picture?

Have I ever told you that mothers lose

brain cells with every pregnancy?

I am pretty sure that this old wives’ tale is true

(I have to say that my stone house makes a perfect backdrop.)

It’s too bad that Caroline was only 4 months old back then.

I may have gotten away with it.

Really Important Stuff My Kids Have Taught Me #15

On the playground,

you’re either chasing or being chased.

Codependence

Most people I know have no idea what codependence means. In fact, blogger does not even recognize the term. Here is the short definition from the wikipedia link:

Codependency or codependence is a tendency to behave in overly passive or excessively caretaking ways that negatively impact one’s relationships and quality of life. It also often involves putting one’s needs at a lower priority than others while being excessively preoccupied with the needs of others.

This post may not be really entertaining, as it is meant to be informative. I wish I would have heard of codependency a long time ago, as my recent study of codependency has made me an extremely healthier person. If you have known me for any length of time, you know codependent behavior. I fit the “controlling” part of codependency to a tee.

Control patterns:

I believe most other people are incapable of taking care of themselves.

I attempt to convince others of what they “should” think and how they “truly” feel.

I freely offer others advice and directions without being asked.

I lavish gifts and favors on those I care about.

I have to be “needed” in order to have a relationship with others.

Here is a little blossom analogy to help myself past trying to control. A few years back the girls and I were at my friend Valerie’s house. Her tree was full of gorgeous blooms. I lined my girls up for a great photo op. For over ten minutes, I kept telling them EXACTLY how to sit, look, and act. I got some good photos. It was so important to me to have that picture perfect photo. At the time, I wasn’t in touch with WHY this was so important to me. Through therapy I have finally discovered my need to be loved…part of that is my need to look perfect. I perpetuate that onto my family.

Aren’t they just about perfect? God has been good to me.

Well, after we were through with the torture session, the kids were free to be themselves again.

I kept shooting. They got into a blossom fight. It was so enjoyable to watch them have fun. It dawned on me that I had controlled them out of having fun for ten minutes. I was now getting BETTER photos with REAL expressions. And they were HAPPY. At that very moment, I realized that I was my own worst enemy. I had issues.

It was an ah-ha moment. I didn’t get to put a name to it until a year or so later. Codependency. Codependency has given me so much grief throughout my whole life. It has kept me from being happy so many times. It has also kept many of my loved ones from the happiness they deserve.

Codependents are people who need to be loved. Pure and simple. Many codependents are closely involved with addicts. I am not talking about the addicts in my life in this post. Maybe another time, but I am addressing my co-dependency. Why? Because people need to understand. Why not?

It is hard to know which comes first, a codependent or an addict. It is almost like that old riddle about the chicken or the egg. It is however easy to understand why codependents and addicts are attracted to each other like teenagers on Friday night. Addicts are a mess. Codependents are a mess. They feed off of each other. Codependents pick up all the pieces all the time. Addicts dish out all the problems. Codependents thrive on being needed because that makes them feel loved. Addicts need a codependent to help them to remain an addict. There is no one better to love or need a codependent more than a person with a bunch of problems.

Sometimes codependents create addicts. People get sick of being controlled and they rebel in form of addictions: alcoholism, abusiveness, sex addiction, gambling…they turn into addictions as a way of escaping the damage that their codependent loved one has etched into their sensitive soul.

I am working very hard at not being a codependent. I don’t want to be that person. I don’t want to be the one who needs to be needed. I don’t want to be the one who has to control. I also don’t want to enable others. Most assuredly, I don’t want to negatively impact the people around me, especially the people who I love the most.

I mostly don’t want to be the crazy witch that goes nuts when everyone and everything she has been trying to hold together falls apart. I don’t want to take responsibility for others’ actions. I want to take responsibility for my own.

I don’t want to need to be loved. I want to love myself. I want my love and God’s love to be enough because anything I get on top of that is like an amazing overtime paycheck. I don’t want to suck all the energy from everyone in my life because no matter how much they love me, it’s never enough.

I will not be codependent any more because I want to be whole. I don’t want to be broken.

And more than anything, I want my children to be able to live lives full of carefree fun. I don’t want them to have to worry about their old mom who needs them so badly. I want them to be able to make mistakes and know that it won’t destroy their mother. I want them to know that their mom is happy, confident, and healthy, and that they can rely on her.

I encourage you to go to the link at the top of this page. Read about codependency. Educate yourselves so that you can recognize bad patterns and stop them before you do irreparable damage to yourself, your spouse, or your children. I think everyone has codependency to one degree or another, so it wouldn’t hurt to learn about it. And, even if you aren’t a codependent, I am sure that you know one, or two, or twenty, and it will help you to understand and love them better to be more aware of their challenges.

And you gotta admit it, you know you love me even more after reading this post. Even if I don’t need you to love me any more.