FunnyBlog

Beautiful Heartbreak

I’ve experienced heartbreak.
More than one.
I remember vividly a day years ago when my friend Lindsey
walked in my front door
to find me completely debilitated,
inconsolable, defeated, and heartbroken.
I was on my couch crying uncontrollobly
while my three small children
were running around neglected.
When I told Lindsey what was going on
she cried too.

Earlier in the day, I had tried to go to the library
to escape the pain,
my toddler was a monster,
surely responding to her mom’s emotional state.
A mean old man confronted me
and told me I was a horrible mother.
Of course, that day I was a horrible mother.
It was all I could do not to shoot myself in the head.

He didn’t see all the other days.
The good days.
The days before the crippling pain.
But the other mom did.
She was usually by my side for weekly storytime.
She rushed out to my car and prayed for me
while I bawled some more at the wheel of my car.

You may think I am just some dramafied attention mongrel,
but you will never know.
The heartbreak is one I have shared with very few.
But it was awful. It is something I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy.

I have worked for years to overcome that pain.
The only thing that finally gave me solace
was turning it over to the Lord.
Over and over again.
I have become
an expert at handing it over.
So much so
that I have become a new person.
A better person.
A stronger person.
A happier person.
A more peaceful person.
And a person who seeks the Lord.

I have experienced a beautiful heartbreak.
More than one actually.
I have experienced a repeated heartbreak
until I gave it to my Lord
so many times that it
became beautiful.
Just because I shared it.
And He turned it into beauty.

So, I loved this song this morning.
Even if Hilary Weeks
stole it from this life-changing blog post.

I hope we can all be Lindsey’s
or praying moms,
but really sometimes we may
be moms who neglect our kids
or ornery old men who are mean and critical.
And hopefully other people will just remember
that we might be at the bottom,
or trying to hike our way out of the
beautiful heartbreak.

But even though I don’t have a video made about me
or I am not an inspirational speaker
or a famous blogger,
I can testify
with all the honesty of my heart
that God will bring us through
our worst pain.
He may even take us through it on purpose
so that we can have a new and beautiful vista
when we reach the top
where we have learned to
stay right by His side.

P.S. Help DeAnne not to experience the heartbreak of coming so close to first place as HeroMom of the year and not winning. Please go vote now. If you get someone else to vote, besides you, leave me a message and tell me who you got to vote and I will add you into a real special post coming up very soon.

ROFL

I have funny friends.

They make my facebook world wondrous.

Here are some great shares from this morning.

They are telling about American life.

Even American Chinese food isn’t always safe.

Health departments nationwide

are having an influx of crazies and marital strife.

Cookie monster says get your own job

and pay for your own cookies.

The BeaUty of Utah

My post is late today.

I prayed this morning that God would help me prioritize

and use my time wisely.

I seem to have this issue lately with being attached to my computer.

I guess my prayers were answered

because I got all three of my bathrooms cleaned.

And boy did they need it.

They needed it before I was sick last week.

And now every member of the family

has had their turn being sick,

except for Abigail;

she never gets sick.

Ever.

Seriously.

She is like an alien or something.

I am so glad I didn’t clean bathrooms before everyone got sick.

So much better to clean them after.

Instead of cleaning them both before and after.

God is always watching out for me.

As I was cleaning bathrooms today

God was with me.
Weird I know.

How do I know he was with me?

I felt a deep sense of joy and gratitude.

Those are fruits of the spirit.

I was so grateful for my bathrooms.

LG and I have our own half bath now

and it is a luxury to us.

Our bathrooms are all recently remodeled

which makes them really easy to clean.

I was grateful for my man.

He went to work today

even though he is still a little sick.

Thank you LG

for being the provider for our family.

I was grateful for our neighbors,

most of which are also church friends.

Only in Utah.

I am so excited about

trick or treating

in a three block radius

full of people

we know and love from church.

I am grateful for my kiddos.

Sophia just turned 10

and I see her growing into a lovely

young lady, just like Abigail.

Bella is such a great worker.

And Caroline is keeping us young.

I am mostly grateful for my new life in the Lord.

I have a much deeper and greater relationship with Him

because of the trials I have faced in the past decade.

I know He is with me. Always.

He makes me happy,

and I have such a positive outlook on life

because He helps me overcome my weaknesses.

So on to the photos.

I have a bunch of new Autumn landscapes

waiting on my camera

for download and publish,

so I guess I better give you

the last of the summer shots.

You could probably find a photo like this on every block in Utah.

It just makes me giddy to think

about all the good people going to church

at the foot of the strong mountains.

This was a messed up shot

when Bella was swinging at the park.
I thought it should be metaphorical for something.
Any ideas?

I imagined NieNie out on this boat

at Utah lake

with her family.

LG and I rode our bikes down on the trail

a few weeks back.

We rode through a bunch of burs

and got all four of our tires flat.

A nice nice woman stopped to get me

and take me home

so I could come back and pick up LG.

That’s what it’s like in Utah.

Good people everywhere.

I love sunsets.

Sunset at the park during football practice.

I think I should win some kind of award for this shot.

The tents at the Timpanogos Storytelling Festival.

We got to play in them when they were empty.

We rode our bikes as a family down the canyon.

A lady in the public restroom gave me tips on how to have a boy.

They had four girls and she was pregnant with a boy.

Only time will tell if her tips were true.

Because Scouts honor she says they were tried.

Another day, another sunset.

We may not be beaUtiful to you,
but we are beaUtiful to us,
and that is all that matters.

Tempting

Two weeks ago in Sunday School

we talked about King Agrippa.

I think I relate with him

when I say

“Almost thou convertest me.”

Thank you Marta for the facebook share.

Southerners: I need your eyes.

Pretty pretty please take pictures of church signs for me.

DIY Dining Room Frames

Remember the post
where I told you about
my thrift store picture frames?

Well, here are the photos of the finished product.
Just for my mother-in-law.
She won’t be visiting any time soon
to see it for herself.

My father-in-law
will be serving in the
Columbia, South Carolina
LDS temple presidency
and my mother-in-law will be
assisting the temple matron
for the next three years.

We are so excited for them
in their new calling.

I think I need to redo this one

so that the lettering is darker and easier to read.

Your love is better than ice-cream.
And African safari animals.

Book Review – The Alias

The Alias by Mandi Slack

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I’m coming to grips with the idea that not all books have to be considered classic literature to be good. There are books that are so amazing that they change your life and those are the books that I have long considered to be the ones worthy of my time. However, in doing book reviews, I am now reading more of the non-life shattering books. They may never make it to The New York Times Bestsellers, and that is perfectly o.k. As an aspiring author these books are giving me courage to get my stories onto a page.

The Alias is in the second category. It’s a simple story. It will probably never make the New York Times Bestsellers because of its simplicity. It’s short and sweet. It wasn’t life shattering for me, yet it was a completely enjoyable read. I read the book in a few hours. As I read this book, my philosophy on book enjoyment changed. Novels don’t have to be long with complex plots and words like honey to be good. They just have to tell a story that you are interested in reading. This story kept my interest throughout and by the end I found myself wanting to read more “simple” stories.

Not every author needs to be a JK Rowling or a Suzanne Collins. Mandi Slack is a small town Utah girl who loves the outdoors. She isn’t pretentious, I can tell this about her from her writing. I think she will be perfectly o.k. with me saying that her book was simple in nature…or at least I really hope so! I am not saying it was simple to write, but just a simple read. Simple being the same as easy, enjoyable, quick, and fun. Mandi Slack is the kind of mom with whom I would love to sit down and enjoy a cup of hot chocolate. She’s imaginative. She’s deep. She has a great understanding of what kinds of inner struggles a women has when she is in an abusive relationship. I plan to go over to her blog and make a new online friend, just as soon as I finish this review.

Mandi Slack wrote a great short novel. It’s the kind of book someone needs to have in their possession on a intercontinental flight or for a night off with no kids and a bubble bath. It’s also the kind of book that a busy mom can squeeze in and enjoy in pieces between carpools, mealtimes, and before her head hits the pillow. Just look at the cover, and tell me it doesn’t draw you in.

The storyline went something like this: there is this girl named Jacey. She has a best friend Melissa. Jacey is running away from her psychopath husband and doing everything she can to protect her darling son who is at that awkward age between boy and young man. She’s a big city girl, but ends up in small-town Utah. The characters in Utah are so love-able that you will want them for your own distant relatives. There is a love interest that is just as dreamy as Jacob or Peeta. Two side story-lines are life on the small farm and life as a Mormon. Neither are overwhelmingly saturated, so I would recommend this book to all of my friends, even you Non-Mormons. I never like to give away too much of the plot. I hate spoilers. So, that is all you are getting from me. Just know that an alias is formed and the FBI is interested it and that this book will keep you in suspense.

I loved the book. It left me with characters who will go on with me through all the books I will read in the future. I looked deep inside myself to find that I share some insecurities with a fictional battered woman. Thank goodness I am married to a gentle giant. The Alias left me wanting to work on those insecurities. I loved the ending of the book. I am HUGE on the endings, as you all know. I got closure; that’s important to me.

On page 158, I absolutely adored the descriptions of the close-by Provo Canyon. If you read the book, and have never been to Utah, you have to know that the descriptive narration here is all spot-on. The Provo Canyon is one of the most beautiful places on earth. I loved seeing it through Jacey’s eyes.

Buy the book. Read it. And then come and visit me and I will take you to the Provo Canyon to see the awesome geological wonders as well as Mt. Timpanogos and Bridal Veil Falls.

Go here to buy it. It’s only $3.99 for the e-version. That is a pretty amazing price.

I was given a free copy of this book in exchange for this review but as you all know I always give my true opinions. I can’t help myself really.
View all my reviews

Hero Mom Contest

My cousin DeAnne is my Mom Hero. There’s no doubt about it. Look at her family!

I have four children and I think I am pretty heroic. Depending on the day of the week, I might tell you that I am an all-out Wonder Woman, but the mom that I think who deserves to win the most votes in this contest is not me. She is not even my amazing mother or mother-in-law. She is my cousin. I haven’t seen her in person in about six years, but since the last time I saw her I believe she has added at least 10 more kids to her family.

My cousin DeAnne Walker and her husband Doug just got home from China where they say that they finally completed their family. Yes, they are finally done with numbers 15 and 16. They are truly an inspiration to me and so many others. They have motivated and assisted many with stateside and worldwide adoption. Check out DeAnne’s blog appropriately called It’s a Wonderful Life.

They have grown their own family biologically but more through adoption. Each child is as precious to them as the other. I can’t imagine how huge their hearts have grown as they have made room for one child after another. DeAnne has one of the biggest momma hearts that I know. She can’t stand the thought of any child being without a family or without a home. She advocates for every child of the universe in word and deed. She has children with every ethnicity and from the whole spectrum of capability. She knows all there is to know about bonding and caring for children with special needs.

I just personally don’t know how she does it. I think I would be pooped after just one meal. I can’t even think about the laundry or the taxi-ing that is required much less the time to love each one individually, but she does it. She also doesn’t claim to know how to do it either, but I am sure her 16 children will have some of her secrets if you were to ask them.

Go and vote for DeAnne. Pretty please with sugar on top. $2,500 could give DeAnne’s wonderful family one heck of a Christmas and I soooo want that to happen! It just takes two clicks. The link that says go vote and then all you have to do is scroll down and find my photo with a brief write up about DeAnne. Hit the vote button on the left. You can vote every 24 hours until November 4th.

You can also invite your friends to this facebook event started by DeAnne’s daughter, Sereen (the bride in the photo), to encourage more voters.

Don’t Ruin It

the perfect shirt for
any two-year old.

Peace and Quiet

Yesterday I was reading a blog

where the mom was keepin it real.

I like those kinds of blogs.

The real ones.

As opposed to the fake ones.

The blog’s author (who I have no recollection – sorry)

shared her concerns

over not having adult conversations

and what it would be like to go back to the workforce

someday while her working-mom counterparts

build their careers as she changes diapers.

She talked about her fight with depression

over the years.

I personally think she needs to up her meds.

It’s amazing what you can tell about a person from their blog.

She was real and she was also somewhat depressing.

I’ve been there.

I have those days.

But thankfully, because of some psychiatric drugs that work,

they are few and far between.

Not a day goes by that I am not grateful that my anti-depressants work.

Overall, I am a pretty content person.

I am such a happy mom.

I love my job as a stay-home mom.

I don’t know if it will last forever,

but I love it for now.

And the longer I live,

the more I understand that

the now is all you should worry about.

I love my kids.

I love spending time with them.

I love teaching them.

I love nurturing them.

I love watching them grow.

I love building friendships with them.

I love discussing with them all kinds of things:

fashion, hygiene, religion, boys, music, cooking:

the list is endless.

I love it when they make me laugh.

I love it when I make them laugh.

I also love getting away from them.

And having adult time.

Free time.

Me time.

Peace and quiet.

Any mom who doesn’t admit this is a liar.

Or is generally psychotic and needs therapy.

I told this other blogging depressed mom that there

have been two practices that

have kept me sane

through the years.

#1.

I try to have a lunch-date with a girlfriend once a week.

It can be the same friend or different ones.

It can be with kids or without,

but for some reason that connection

really helps me to be happy.

#2.

I have to have my weekly date with my cute hubby.

It is a MUST.

I HAVE to have it.

Like the air that I breathe.

Even if it just means that hubby and I sneak away to the library for some peace and quiet.

Peace and quiet is sometimes better than you know what.
Especially the longer we’ve been married
and the more kids we accumulate.

Evolving Mom

I used to be a much more controlling mom. I’m not saying I’m cured or anything, but I have made some progress. Serious progress.

Progress not perfection.

It’s amazing how my outlook on life has changed as I’ve incorporated this truth into my mentality.

Letting go of control is liberating. Extremely liberating. So liberating that liberating isn’t even a good enough word to describe the freedom one feels.

This morning I caught Caroline with a box of Smurf cereal. She had gotten three measuring cups from the kitchen drawer and was pouring cereal into the cups. Or should I say she was attempting to pour cereal into the measuring cups? More was landing on the kitchen table’s bench and floor than the measuring cups. As I went up to the cupboard to fetch a large measuring pitcher I reflected on the progress I have made as a mother with control issues. I poured little blue and white Smurf flakes into the plastix pyrex and handed it off to Caroline so she could go to town with her measuring cups. This way I contained the amount of cereal that would be wasted, but I didn’t impede on my toddler’s creativity or ingenuity.

It was a win/win. She was happy and I was happy. She was making a mess, but it was on the kitchen tile and could easily be cleaned whenever she decided she was done. Who knows when that will actually be? She is still content with her measuring cups as I type this post.

I may have just shot myself in the foot because this could become her favorite past-time. Smurf cereal measuring is all the rage nowadays. None of her friends get to do it, so it makes it all the more desirable.
It may turn into the new finger painting. Heaven knows we’ve been doing that five times a day for the past 2 months.

You won’t believe this. Caroline just moved the trashcan (you can see it in the photo above) and grabbed the broom (also always readily available as shown in the photo above). She says, “I clean up the cereal.” I am afraid to look, as I am sure her clean up will require even more clean up, but inside I secretly cheer myself for being less controlling.

Everyone is happier and I may even be allowing the girl to learn something on her own. Yeah for me.

I’m free. Free at last.