FunnyBlog

KB
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KittyBear has been consuming my energy.
She’s been missing for five days.
She is our beloved cat of seven years.
I’ve blogged about her before
I had to go to the pound yesterday 
to see if she was there.
Don’t go to the pound.
Ever.
It’s not all fun and happy like
Hotel for Dogs
or 
Beverly Hills Chihuahua.
It’s sad and depressing
and will make an animal hoarder
out of the most sane of people.
Last night I sincerely had to hand
KB over to God.
I could feel myself
getting more and more depressed.
If I let my thinking fester
I may end up in bed for months.
So, I just said,
“God, I am giving KB to you now.”
You would be amazed at how fast
doing that works in any given situation.
I know you are all gonna think
I am totally whacky.
Who gets that upset over a cat?
Well, I do.
That’s who.
I won’t even go into my
conspiracy theories
of my serial killing neighbor.
However,
God has a way of putting things into perspective.
I got a facebook message10 minutues ago
and someone’s teenage daughter
has been missing from my city
for the same exact amount of time
that our KittyBear has been gone?
Do you think they
could have run off together?
Don’t tell me otherwise, please.
That is my happy place.
A lonely teenage girl and KB 
snuggled together in a boxcar somewhere.
Don’t forget that tomorrow is your last day to win a free half-tee!

Memorizing Scripture
After the last general conference
one of the things
we decided to work on as a family
is memorizing scripture.
Richard G Scott gave a great address
on scriptures being our friends.
It got me thinking about how many times
God has spoken to me through a verse
of scripture running through my head.
I thought I better work harder at giving scriptures
to the girls so that in their time of need
God will be able to speak to them through
the scriptures that are stored in their brain.
We started with my favorite scripture.
This verse has been there with me
through a whole lot of hard stuff.
Proverbs 3:5-6
We all took a turn writing a line.
Caroline even got a turn.
As we all cited the scripture together
for the first time
Caroline was quick to correct us that
after path
we are all to say
scribble scribble scribble
circle.
How dare we leave out her part?
How many of you bet
that someday in the near future
God will speak to my girls
by letting them hear
the words
scribble scribble scribble circle
in their minds and hearts
when they need it the most?
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Ouch
A few weeks ago LG confided in me that he had fallen in the shower.
He had a boo-boo and I wasn’t very sympathetic.
“How old are you?” I asked. “70?”

Then, just days later, I fell in the shower

and he was so sweet about it.
I did fall way more violently
as there were cleaning agents and a trash can involved
but still.
Sometimes I know I got the better end of the deal.
I am so glad that there are those times
to even out the ones when I wonder
what the heck I was thinking.
Love you LG!
And I hope we got our falling out of our systems.
Because if this happens when we are 70 or more
one of us is going to end up in the nursing home.

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Even more disturbing than the bruise….
my triple chin.

Halloween
I guess I better get these Halloween photos up
before Thanksgiving gets here.

Our girls got some killer deals
at K-mart on their costumes.
Sometimes it pays to be late.
50% off plus another 20% off coupon.
Then I got another discount on Abigail’s
because we had to sew a strap on.
I told the girls that we would only spend $5 on each of them.
They gladly subsidized with their own money
so they didn’t have to make their own costumes.
I think we spent a total combined of $30.

I can’t say that I was disappointed
since making our own costumes
would require my help.

I was going to dress Caroline up
as Shirley Temple
but she barely cooperated
for wings,
so what would have been the point?

Have I told you how much of a handful this kid is?
I wonder where she gets it from?
We dumped Caroline back at home with dad
after knocking on the condos
close to home.
Here are the girls out about in the neighborhood
with our two friends Natassja and India.
It seems we should live somewhere more exotic
than Utah
when we have friends with names like that.

I just loved this shot with the pumpkin.
Notice that we use pillowcases
for carrying Halloween candy.
It’s what my mom used to make us do
when we were kids
and the tradition has stuck.
Best costume of the evening.
Obama and his Secret Service agents.
These boys are awesome.
My girls enjoyed following them around the neighborhood
on our perfect weathered evening.

I enjoyed taunting Obama at every door
that us Utahns only give our candy to Republicans
who work for their own stuff.
I’m silly like that.
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Family Dance Night

Do you remember this ancient post about the family staying up all night to dance.
We couldn’t afford to go to Chuck E Cheese and so we pulled out the old records.

Well now we can afford to go to Chuck E. Cheese but I believe I would rather
travel back in time and do this all over again.
I finally figured out how to post the video and these are so cute.
The girls have grown so fast but I am pleased to report that they still giggle just the same.
And they still think they can dance.

It started out slow. Very Lawrence Welk feeling slow.

Then we moved on to Bob Dylan’s song on banjo.
Dad does some tapping and at the end the baby has to join in.

More with dad and baby. Puff the magic dragon.

Then dad goes a little crazy.

A little Beverly Hillbilly’s. We were in TN after all.
We have some underwear malfunctioning.
This is when I hope that no sickos have found the blog.
But, if you sickos have found us, make sure you watch this one through
to see the man you will contend with if you come within 50 feet of our daughters.
And then know that I am about 800% more ferocious.

Now dad kindly introduces the two-step to our flapper girls.
Has anybody seen our girls?

And if you’ve been the loyal watcher,
you will be happy for this finale.
One final laugh for us all.

Good times. Good times.

Living a Consecrated Life

Every 6 months Mormons gather worldwide

to hear from the latter day prophets and apostles.
You may think that sounds crazy,
but trust me, if you were to peek in,
you would be astounded.
Astounded like you were at the feet
of Moses or Noah or Peter, James, or Paul.
For me, every time, the experience is life changing.
This last session in October was especially so.
I wrote down a list of personal questions
that I have been seeking God for answers about
and then I prayerfully listened 
for communication from God
through His messenger The Holy Ghost.
1-How can I know my purpose or mission in life?
2- How will having my own personal goals make me happier?
3-How can I become more physically/mentally healthier? To what level should I commit myself?
4-Why has it been so hard for me to find a job?
5-What about more kids? I want to be done and I want to know now.
6-How long should I wait to finish my education?
7-How can I get more disciplined and make living the gospel priority #1?
8-What do I need to change as a wife and a mother?
I got a whole composition book
of notes
on personal guidelines
for my life.
I hope to share some.
Ian S. Ardern gave a particularly helpful talk.
It was entitled A Time to Prepare. 
Listen to this:

Mastering the techniques needed to
reach our goals includes becoming
the master manager of our time.
Our greatest happiness comes as we tune into the Lord and to those things which bring a lasting reward….Take those things that rob us of our precious time and determine to be their master, rather than allowing them through their addictive nature to be the master of us.

He also said: “Grind distractions to dust.”
This talk answered a whole slew of my questions.
From this talk I made myself some new goals
that would assist me in showing God
by the way I use my time
that He is my first priority.
1-Quit wasting time on the computer and looking for validation online.
2-Make a goal to run a 5k.
3-Pray and study every day.
4-Follow the promptings of the spirit on a daily basis.
I’ve been using my time much more wisely, and I feel a million times happier.
Living a consecrated life isn’t a sacrifice, it’s one of God’s very best blessings.
He looks after each of us individually and speaks to us.
He knows what we need.
I have found that seeking out the Lord in my life
always leads to greater personal satisfaction.

Ingenious Anjella
This is Anjella.
She has 8 kids.
She’s ingenious.

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Her kids have mealtime aprons.
Personalized mealtime aprons.
7 of her 8 kids are boys
and bibs just weren’t cutting it.

Isn’t that the smartest thing you’ve ever heard?

I think I need one of these for my hubby.
He’s always staining his clothes.

Crazy Caroline
We have been having challenges with Caroline.
Since the day she was born.
What a crazy kid.
We have nicknamed her Crazy Caroline.
We have Adorable Abigail.
Sweet Sophia.
Beautiful Bella.
and
Crazy Caroline.
Maybe we should say
Crazy Cute Caroline
so that she won’t grow up with 
black sheep syndrome.
Anyway,
our most recent challenge
has been that Caroline
learned how to open doors.
She is always trying to make an escape.
Can’t say that I blame her.
Well, as you all know
at our new rental home
one of the conditions of the lease
is that our pets are outdoor pets.
It has been nice not having the dog
under foot.
She loves her cozy house in the garage
where she can go outside
as she pleases.
Imagine my surprise when
I got out of the shower the other day
and found this.
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At least she wasn’t out in the street
barefoot.
Not the dog, silly.
Caroline.
She sure does make for some great blog material.