Month: March 2011

My Baptist Influence

While living in this wonderful home of Knoxville Tennessee I have been greatly influenced by my Baptist friends. I use Baptist for all the Protestant churches  really because they are the majority and to tell you the truth, I don’t see much of a difference between them all.


The other day when I was getting greatly discouraged in our search for a new rental that would actually accept our pets, out in Utah, (Trust me when I say I’ve learned that most Mormons must be animal haters) from facebook, I called upon the help of my prayer warriors . It’s a Baptist thing. Within 24 hours we had secured the perfect new home. And when I say perfect I mean the house we found included all of our needs and many of our wants. 


I would say my Prayer warriors worked some magic.Even if they weren’t all Baptist. My friends are so funny. My Jewish friend sent me a message asking me if I didn’t think her prayers would work. I told her to please pray and apologized for inadvertently leaving her out in the first request. So in all fairness I really can’t be sure which denomination our miracle can be attributed to, but I do know that we all have a mighty God. 


My awesome brother and sister-in-law helped above and beyond the call of duty and from Utah looked at each possible home and gave us the o.k. or nay over the phone. One house was even accompanied by a live video stream. So, when I explained to my brother how excited we were for our new lease and how awesome his wife had been to help us, I got a little carried away. “David”, I said, “I am so excited, I don’t know what I did to deserve being blessed so much, but God is so good.” David: “Did you just say ‘God is good’?” Me: “Yeah, isn’t he?” David: “If you’re Baptist.” “Alice, is there something you need to tell me about your religious affiliation changing while you’ve been down there in the deep South?”


Still very much a believing Mormon here, but I like to ponder on how the Baptists (and by Baptist I mean Protestants) have deepened my conviction. Bless their hearts. I can’t help to have been influenced. They are some of the greatest people I have known. They have got me saying things like “give him grace” or “our God is a mighty God”. One that I don’t really say but you often hear down here is, “It’s a God thing.”


I asked LG what Baptists say a lot and he informed me that they like to talk of Jesus. They don’t usually add on the Christ. I don’t really know why that is. LG says that Baptist often say things like, “Trust in Jesus, Jesus loves me, I love Jesus, What would Jesus do?, Jesus is my guide, and my personal favorite just plain old Jesus.”

I found it funny that I found this church sign a day after I started this post.

Although when Mormons refer to Jesus, we usually also include the title Christ with Jesus, I wouldn’t say that we love Jesus any more. Baptists truly love their Lord. They often exclaim “lordy, lordy lordy.” I don’t think that they realize that this very saying takes the Lord’s name in vain. I’ve told several of them this very fact. They were gracious about it. Of course. Protestants are some of the most gracious people I know.

Baptists traditionally eat out on Sunday after church. I remember explaining to one friend that Mormons are very strict about the Sabbath observance and try not to do anything that would require anyone else to work She laughed and said, “Well if you want to debate the principle with my preacher, you would have to come and find him after church at the restaurant with the rest of us.”

LG and I were delightfully surprised at how much religion is a part of life here in the South. We have been strengthened and taught by our Protestant friends. I hope they know how much we love them, even if they call us UnChristian or worry that they were never able to “save” us. There is one thing that I know we have in common and that is a great love for our Jesus.

Justin Beiber

Justin Beiber is a big deal in our family. Not because my four daughters drool over him, but because Sophia is quite sensitive on the subject. Her sisters like to tease her about the popstar.

One time Sophia cried for an hour because Abigail said Sophia wanted to marry Justin Beiber.

We try not to talk about the Beiber too often. We all love Sophia and don’t want to cause her any additional emotional distress.

When one of my nieces posted this picture on facebook it cracked me up.

I guess this kid (who believe it or not is not actually Justin Beiber) is the son of my brother’s new girlfriend. My two teenage nieces found his resemblance a little uncanny.


A while back another friend posted something on facebook that I thought was absolutely hilarious.

Cameron Smithson used to be a full-time Mormon missionary serving in Knoxville, TN. He is from California and we got along just great; we fed him and his missionary companion many meals. He is a really funny guy.

On his facebook he made reference to Hinckley’s 6 Be’s. Gordon B Hinckley was the President of our church and his counsel to the youth of the church to be grateful, smart, clean, true, humble, and prayerful was quite the phenomenon among church members for a while. Great advice if you ask me.

Now that you have the background, you will be able to laugh we with me at Cameron Smithson’s status.

Be grateful.
Be smart.
Be clean.
Be true.
Be humble.
Be prayerful.
Be – ber?

I hope Sophia won’t get wind of this post.

Nothing like good friends.

Remember this old post where I once again spewed my big mouth.

Let me refresh your memory:

I listed things that bug me. Like boogers, brussel sprouts, and fake people. I spent a significant amount of time talking about people overly obsessed with exercise. My quote was something like, “Do you think God really cares that much if I ran today?” Let me further explain my position. After reading my post, LG’s cousin in law Catherine made a good point. She said that God does want us to take care of our temples, which are our bodies. I just wanted to let her know I agree with her, and I hope I can do a better job of taking care of mine. My previous post was talking about the people who are obsessed, who neglect other really important things in their life because they are more worried about their abs staying hot over anything else.

Now let me explain a little further. My abs were tore to pieces in my first pregnancy. After birthing four children they will never be the same. They used to be pretty nice, but if I ever want them to get back to where they were, I would have to have some kind of surgery. I don’t think God would want me to have a surgery because God is the one who created me. He is the one who knew I would gain weight with each pregnancy, that I would lose muscles where I want them to gain others that are required for raising kids (like greater hips and heart). He knew that I would get grey and wrinkly and physically weaker in ways. His resurrection will be a very quick cure all for these infirmities of mortal life. But, my spirit, is up to me. My spirit is what I like to focus on becaus0,e let’s face it, it could use all the help that I can give it. And yes, body, mind and spirit are all connected, and some people are really great at focusing on all of these at once, but some of us have a lot of work to do and can only give so much focus. And maybe that focus needs to be more on one than another.

Anyhow, I realize I came across very judgemental in that old post, and I want to apologize. I really am a person who tries to be open minded. I do try to love unconditionally and I think I do a pretty good job. I have a big heart and after your many comments here and on facebook, I realized that I didn’t accurately portray my positions. Darn, my writing is still just mediocre. In my defense, I would like to say that I don’t hate the people just the habits. Many of which I myself have. I also botched that in the post. I was trying to portray my own hypocrisy.

Two of the other things I mentioned detesting in the previous post were dangly earrings and the overuse of seasonal decorations. It’s a good thing I have friends who aren’t afraid to call me on my crap and who are also not afraid to be themselves. They also like to tease me. And I love them for it.

Check out two of the pictures that were sent to me after my last post.

I love my friends. They crack me up.

My Food Storage
As many of you know,
Mormons are huge on preparedeness.
We are counseled to have a three month supply of food on hand
in case of emergency.
I love this counsel.
I save a load of money and time on grocery shopping
by heading this counsel.
Not to mention, that in really hard months,
it saves me from worry about what I am going to feed my kids.
I am so excited for the great food storage room in our new place.
And I am so grateful for Stacey,
who came last Wednesday night
and helped me pack up my own personal grocery store.

My Prayer of Conversion

Search me God.
Find the source of decay and heal it.
Find my broken heart and make it whole.
Make my brain without lesions.
Cure each sore muscle.
Fill the hole of lonliness.
The thoughts of negativity, pluck from me
and transform them into loveliness.

And when thou art done,
make me a tribute to thee,
a living monument to thy grace
and power and love.

And from me,
others will see beauty
and like I have,
they will stop in place and time
and know that thou art God.
And they will want
to be thy creation too.
And they will search for thee.

And they will know
that all they have to do
is let Thou search through them.
And do thy magic.
They will ask also.
And I will be but one flower
in a world full of breathtaking gardens.

Scientific Method

Abigail was quoted in the Knoxville Sentinel today. She was dressed like Galileo when talking to the reporter. She was so proud that the way the reporter started his article was Galileo was there. “Oh yeah, he’s talking about me,” bragged Abigail. The irony of her later quote is what is killing me. I must blog about it. Don’t mind me as I ramble on about the whole experience. Sometimes this blog acts as my personal journal and our family historian. If you want the abridged version just read the next paragraph and scroll to the end.

I can only blog about this because Abigail is usually a great student. She always scores in advanced on her T-Caps. She is in all Honors classes. She got straight A’s her first quarter of middle school. So you can imagine our dismay when a few days ago, Abigail came home with her report card and there was a big fat F in Science. We were appalled.

My friend Rita said that when she saw Abigail at the school it
 reminded her of how they always depict God in the movies.
It wasn’t until I took this picture and added it to my blog
that I realized what she was talking about.

We have come to the conclusion that the grade is the fault of three bad combinations: 1- Our neglect due to the move. 2- Abigail’s complacency and 3 – We are pretty sure Abigail will eventually be diagnosed as ADHD.

What most people don’t understand about ADHD kids is that a lot of them are extremely bright. There is an ADHD subset that usually gets overlooked. They are the ones that do very well in school because they are so bright.

My husband was a kid like that. He was just recently diagnosed with ADHD as a 35 year old adult. Ritalin has been an eye-opening experience for LG. The first time he took the drug, he said to me, “Oh my gosh Alice, my mind is so clear. It’s crazy. Just imagine what I could have done if I had some Ritalin while in law school.”

Anyhow, back to the story. Abigail brought home this F. It was horrifying. I immediately e-mailed her teacher and talked to her principal on the phone. I am a little worried how this will effect Abigail’s placement at her new school after we move. The timing is awful, but hopefully we can get her new school to understand the extreme abnormality of this grade. The good news is that maybe now we can get her doctor and school to understand our concern for her ADHD.  They wouldn’t agree to look into the possibility when she had straight A’s, but now they will hopefully be able to see a little window into what we are dealing with on a larger scale.

When LG sat down with Abigail last night to review her individual assignment grades it was no surprise to us that Abigail said that on each low grade she had forgot to either turn it in, complete it, or study. She has science first period and even if she does pay close enough attention to instructions, which she often considers non-essential information, it’s gone by the end of the day. She is just not engaged by things that don’t require real thinking and she is simultaneously totally overwhelmed by the structure in this class. Her teacher has about ten things going on at once and it’s just too much for an ADD brain. Her teacher is great and really makes science come to life, but for an ADD kid, the way that she structures her class is brutal. It’s been an awesome on-going science project. Who knew that they actually do science projects in a middle school science class?

Let’s see. The Scientific Method at work:

1 Ask a question – Does Abigail have ADHD?
2 Do background research – Abigail is normally a straight A student.
3 Construct a Hypothesis – It would be unlikely that Abigail has ADHD given the facts.
4 Test your hypothesis by doing an experiment – Give Abigail a Science Teacher who assigns 6 projects per nine weeks and does very little to communicate with the parents or make sure that Abigail stays on task. See how she does.
5 Analyze your data and draw a conclusion – Abigail failed science yet still received either A’s or B’s in all of her more structured classes, therefore she probably does have ADHD or just hates science.
6 Communicate your results – That would be this blog post. Do you think I should e-mail it to the teacher? She would be so proud that real science was actually taking place. She might even use it for future class projects.

So, imagine our surprise when Abigail came home the same day as receiving her F all excited about her Galileo project. She was so excited to not just research Galileo but to dress up like him. She did awesome, huh? She got really creative and insisted on dragging out the Santa costume box. Of course it was at the bottom of the stack of moving boxes, but at her stubborn request we re-shifted the whole room to discover the needed beard and wig. Then she told us not to come to her presentation. I think she was trying to keep us away from her science teacher.

Well imagine our surprise when reading this in the newspaper article this afternoon: (Amongst our first failing grade ever, the irony is just a little too much)

Sixth-grader Abigail Gold donned a white wig and beard as she depicted famed early astronomer Galileo for the Living Space History Museum exhibit.

She and other students selected a person in history who had an impact on the space program, designed posters, dressed in period and gave oral presentations on their historical figures. 

Abigail said Thursday’s event shows science and math can be fun.

“I’ve always wanted to be a scientist,” she said. “A lot (of kids) think it’s boring, but it’s my favorite subject.”

When Abigail got done reading aloud about herself in the article, Sophia quickly chimed in:

“Abigail what it really should have said is ‘but it’s my favorite subject’, even if I did fail the last nine weeks.”

What I was thinking was that it’s a good thing that God gave Abigail such a bright mind because if anyone is ever gonna figure out how to beat ADHD permanently, it’s her. She has a love for science that I have rarely seen, even if it’s a failing kind of love.

Table Talk

I am sure that our family is much like most others.

I am sure of it until we sit down to dinner. My husband and kids are all the entertainment a girl could ask for.

Here was the conversation the other night:

LG:
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs hanging on a wall?
Girls:
Art

LG: What do you call a man with no arms and legs floating in a lake?
Girls: Bob.

LG: What do you call a man with no arms and legs in your mailbox?
Me: Envelope?
LG: Bill

Me: Did you just make that one up?
LG: (with a smirk) “Yeah, good one, huh?”

LG: What do you call a man with no arms and legs on your doorstep?
Me: Matt

LG: Why do you have to take my punchline, huh?

Me: What do you call a man with legs and arms that tells bad jokes?
Girls: Dad!!!

LG: What do you call a man with arms and legs that is not appreciated by his family?
Me: Dad?

Bella: What do you call a woman with arms and legs that tells bad jokes?
Silence.
That’s right they know who is boss.
They also know who cooks dinner.

Moving Sucks
Right idea. For sure.

It’s 1 am. I have vowed to post something every day. It only took me 3 minutes to regret that vow. And I haven’t stopped regretting it for 3 whole weeks.

I have not written anything for tomorrow, or the next day, or the next. I do have something scheduled for next Saturday and Sunday. Yeah for me. I am so ahead of myself.

So, I have about .8 seconds before I drop dead. I guess I can only hope to hit the publish button before my fingers give up.

Why does moving suck? Do I really need to tell you? I am pretty sure you all know all the reasons. I am sure the moving sucks mode is the same across all other barriers

Callouses and paper cuts from cardboard boxes.
Packing.
Cleaning. (cleaning normally is good, but packing cleaning is frustrating)
Trying to cook only to realize that you packed that thing away already.
The feeling of your teeth  ripping against each other while tearing off packing tape.
Labeling…box after box.
Sore back from lifting.
Being stuck on the phone all day, every day.
Saying goodbye, one place at a time, one person at a time, one memory at a time.

This time I decided to add a great little challenge. Try having only 11 days left to go before you head out across the nation without a new home secured.

It’s a doozie.

And I am exhausted.

These are my hands typing very s l o              wwwwwwwwww llllllll yyyyyyyy.

E n t er

Publish.