The Extended Golds

Take Me Home, Country Roads

I thought that you would all love a pic of me in my bathing suit! He he

Shown in pic. – Cousins Jarrett and Missy Gold, and their 3 adorable kids (Brighton, Aspen, and Rider) and us and two of the girls. I have no idea where Bella is, but I highly doubt she ran ahead. She may be coming up and over the hill, or hiding behind the vastness of my towel.

This is a pic that LG’s Uncle Dirk snapped when we were at Claytor Lake, VA over the 4th of July. I love the picture of all the green in the back. Behind us, over the small hilltop, is a massive lake…all the green is from behind the lake. There is at least a mile of lake between our backs and all those trees. Crazy, huh?

This is why they say, “Take me home, country roads.”

My next post is going to be our last trip to Claytor Lake over Labor Day. We paddled in the paddle boat and did Karaoke. If I can get the video to work, there is a funny one of LG singing like a sleezy lawyer….you have to try and catch it all from behind my laughter.

Welcome to the family Lily

Some of you know about LG’s sister, Amy, and her husband, Tyler. They have been trying for a very long time to start their family. Their opportunity finally came true with Lily. She came into our lives aproximatley 6 months ago.

We have all had our fingers crossed through the ups and downs of the adoption process, but we can finally all celebrate. Lily’s birth father finally signed the official papers.

I am sure that we cannot be more happy than Amy and Tyler, but it sure feels like nobody could be happier than I am right now.

Happy Fetchin’ Halloween

This was a photo worth showing to everyone. And it even got me to blog an entry. Here is my cool brother-in-law Logan dressed up for Halloween. As he walked into our Halloween party last night he received a standing ovation. Swwwwweeeet!

He is a good look alike, huh? Can you believe this is his real hair…so funny because he really has very straight hair. If you are living in the stone age and need a reference to Logan’s hero,Napoleon Dynamite just click here.

Have a great Halloween!

Free Kitchen

My mother-in-law called this afternoon and told me that I just had to enter into the Lowe’s and The Early Shows’ “I Want a Kitchen Makeover Contest”. She feels sorry for me and my kitchen. She called and expressed her faith in me being able to write something that would convince the contest people that I need that kitchen more than anyone else!

[Sidenote: Faye(my mother-in-law) is redoing her kitchen right now and was tempted to enter for herself, but says that I need it more than she does. She just knows that I will have such a good chance of actually winning]

Well, I think these types of contests are totally rigged (like the show’s producers sat around trying to figure out how they could get their mother a new kitchen without having to pay for it)! But, because Faye was so insistent I went ahead and sent the above picture with the following poem.

Keep in mind, I was only allowed a 50 word essay to express why I deserve a kitchen.

Pyrex exploded, ruined my floor.
Two year old paint, coats, need 3 more.
Husband in law school and 3 small kids.
No dishwasher, enough said!
Light and fan broken.
Now we use floor lamp, no jokin’.
I love to cook, even entertain.
But, my kitchen is driving me insane.

Don’t you think I should win this contest? Who else can come up with something more sorry?

Sexy

Ever since my in-laws turned into health and exercise nuts a few years ago, they began worrying about their progeny’s health also(or lack of it). We don’t much appreciate eating all of their low-fat and sugar free foods but we truly do wish that we could have their self denial skills. Well, besides trying to help us be in better shape, they also wanted to help us with our high stress lives. As portrayed in my last entry, Self checkout, they are pretty high most of the time. So, for LG’s 30th Birthday, they gave us a wonderful gift. Most people that I tell about it don’t think it was a wonderful gift, but LG and I are ecstatic about it. We are now the proud owners of a treadmill.

Why is it that just owning a piece of exercise equipment makes you feel sexier, younger, and totally yuppy-ish!? Man, if I would have known what just owning a treadmill could do for my mental and emotional state, LG would have surely invested a long time ago. Well, surprise, surprise, we have both been actually using the thing. We really do like to exercise; we have just never figured out how to fit it in when we have so many school, family, church, and work responsibilities. Now, we can do it at night while we are winding down….so far, so good. So, yes, we will be placing before and after pictures up by this time next year….just kidding.

Well, this entry may not be that funny, but I just wanted to tell you what I thought the other night. It was the night of Self checkout and so I wasn’t exercising in case I may have had a concussion. I had the priviledge of watching LeGrand do his routine instead. Now, I have to put a disclaimer in here: I do think that my husband is sexy, but under society’s definition of sexy, you probably won’t find his description. You have to know that he is 6′ tall and 270 lbs. We laughed so hard because he was worried about using the treadmill; it has a 250 lb. weight limit.

Well, LG can be as big as he wants and I will always think that he is sexy. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but as I watched him huff and puff on that treadmill the other night something magical happened. I blurted out, “LG just watching you on that treadmill makes you look 25 pounds lighter.” He started laughing so hard that he almost had to step off. I guess he wasn’t feeling too sexy! But, I tell you what, really, there is something to owning a treadmill. Go and get one and when you step on it (whether or not you have it turned on) you will feel sexier too. I swear.

See the light

At church today, during the kids’ learning time, one of the leaders pulled out an object lesson. She had drawn a picture of a lightbulb and showed it to the 25 children, ranging in ages from 3-8, as she explained that she meant to bring a real lightbulb but forgot it in her rush out the door.

So, she posts the lightbulb and throws out a question to the kids: “If this were a real lightbulb what would it need to light up?” The first child pulls out the obvious answer from a child….a lightswitch.

My daughter Abigail raised her hand and eagerly awaited her turn to be called on. She was called on second. Now, remember, she is 6 years old. She says as matter of factly as possible,”Electricity!” Where does this child come from? I called her “little smartie pants” in front of all the other kids. I think I kind of embarassed her a little. But, golly, what am I going to do? The kid almost knows more than me already. I am doing way too good of a job teaching her. (Just kidding) I really do give all credit to her Father’s genes and the time that she spends with her Papa asking question after question….bringing me to my favorite quote.

“All knowledge begins with wonder.” – Noah Webster

So, go find out something new today.

Yoda, this is

Do, or do not. There is no ‘try’.
– Yoda,
The Empire Strikes Back

Thanks to my geek of a husband my daughter Abigail has a thing about StarWars. She just loves it! Her Grammy took her to a bookstore two days ago and she HAD to have the StarWars book.
I don’t really have anything funny to write about StarWars. I really like this quote by Yoda. I hate the delivery that Yoda delivers. (I guess he never had an English class on not ending sentences with prepositions.)
Good story about prepositions:
On the subject of ending sentences with prepositions, people often recount a story involving Winston Churchill. When an editor dared to change a sentence of Churchill’s that appeared to end inappropriately with a preposition, Churchill responded by writing to the editor, “This is the kind of impertinence up with which I shall not put.” His purpose, of course, was to illustrate the awkwardness that can result from rigid adherence to the notion that prepositions at the end of sentences are always incorrect.
When we went to see the final StarWars I laughed out loud at the pivotal Darth Vader moment….you really have to be a StarWars geek to appreciate the cheese. My husband was mortified as to how freely I “ruined” the movie for everyone. Oops.
Anyhow, Yoda may have bad delivery, but just like an old wise Grandma, no matter how hard it is to pay attention at times, you HAVE to listen to what he has to say. He has profound teachings. He is my favorite part of StarWars. I had a spiritual experience at the last movie as Yoda counseled Anikan.

Farts and Poops

This is Bella’s bum trying to fit into her diaper. I love it when the kids have plumber’s bum. So cute! Great shot, huh? I hope it’s not considered “inappropriate”.

Well, Bella has taken on a very endearing ritual. I first need to fill you in on my thoughts about the word “fart”. I thought it would be fun to share, even though my mother will be devastated that I am using the word “fart” so freely. I guess I am not a lady at all because I have never had a problem with the word fart. I mean why do people think the word is so bad? Fart, toot, pass gas, flatulate…they all mean the same action…..air being passed from a not so nice smelling part of the body. Everybody does it. Well, as you read on you will see that I am passing on the non-lady like use of the word “fart” to my three poor daughters. LG and I think it is funny when they say it.

We laughed SO hard the time Sophia announced to a crowded restaraunt that she had farted. Well, in the past two months, Bella, our little clown, has figured out that when she says the word fart it makes people laugh. So, whenever I ask her if she needs to be changed, I say, “Bella, are you poopy; do you have poops; do you need your diaper changed?”, she replies ever so slyly with, “No, I just farted.” At two, she is showing huge potential for being a funny adult, don’t you think?

I was staying at my in-laws for the last couple of days. My father-in-law, was very kind and offered to watch the girls while I went to a girls’ dinner with my mother-in-law and some extended family. I explained that I had left a diaper and wipes in the bathroom for Bella in case he needed it. Now, I know how he feels about poopy diapers. He wasn’t even fond of changing his own kids. So, I told him, “If she does poop, if you don’t want to deal with it, if you can stand the smell, just leave it, she’ll be o.k. until I get back.”

On the way to dinner I confided my concern for my father-in-law and the diaper situation to my mother-in-law. She just cracked me up and said, “Oh, he’ll be fine. You should have told him that you were just giving him an opportunity to pay you back for his diapers that you are going to have to change someday.”

Well, he did have to change a poopy diaper a half an hour after we left. I voiced my appreciation from the hallway as I was leaving to come home last night. I also mentioned that he had given me a good reason to have to change his diapers someday. I wasn’t too surprised when no laughter came from the office. I am sure he was horrified at the thought. I quickly p.s.’ed with the declaration that Faye had told me to tell him that. Still no response. What do you do? Again, I am left to wonder if my father-in-law will continue to accept me. So, in explanation: Duane, it was just a joke. If someone needs to change your diapers when you get old, I promise, it won’t be me. That is what Amy is for.

Carson

My newest nephew. Lucky for my sister-in-law, Meagan, he was only 8 lbs. 4 oz. My brother-in-law, Jordan, was a whopping 12 lbs. when he was born. Lucky for Carson, he was born on July 24, 2005. July 24th is the day that marks a great Mormon holiday, Pioneer Day. Pioneer day is the day that we celebrate the Mormon’s arrival in 1847 to the Salt Lake Valley, also memorializing our great Pioneer Heritage.

It is just coincidence that Carson’s parents gave Carson the middle name Taggart. Carson shares this name with his famous Mormon great-great-great-great grandpa. Carson was given this name months before they knew he would be born on Pioneer Day.

George Washington Taggart was part of the historic Mormon Battalion and was the father to SarahJane Taggart. SarahJane was the mother of Horace Heiner. Horace and Amy Heiner were the parents to Melba Heiner Gold. Melba is the mother of my father-in-law, Duane Gold. Duane is the father of my husband, LeGrand, and LeGrand’s brother, Jordan, the father of the newest little nugget, Carson Taggart.

Holes

A hole in the middle of two studs….hmm.

I am not talking about the critically aclaimed book. I am talking about holes in drywall. It wasn’t until 1999 that I knew how easy they were to patch.

You see, growing up, my brothers and sisters had a favorite game to play. Remember how I talked about that long hallway in The Home of the Free entry. Well, besides lining up for our Grand ol’ Flag March, there were a few other things that we did in that hall on a regular basis. Our absolute favorite of all time, was scaling the walls. The hall was just wide enough that when our legs and arms would get to a certain length, we could jimmy ourselves up the wall, like regular mountain climbers. We would place our left arm and leg on one wall and our rights on the other and up we would climb all the way to the ceiling.

Well, as you can imagine, once in a while, there was some damage. It was the COOLEST when someone’s foot would go through the wall. This happened several times, mostly to my brothers. My dad is a contractor and so you would think that the holes would automatically be repaired, but NO, they weren’t; those four or five holes stayed in those walls until we sold the house 10-20 years later. I always assumed fixing holes in walls was a difficult thing to do until….

Move ahead to 1999. My husband’s sister and brother-in-law had just bought their first house. Everyone in LG’s family was bursting with pride because they were in their early 20’s and were so RESPONSIBLE. LG’s parents came out from TN, and we all went to have a house-warming party. Amy and Tyler didn’t know it but, our main mission was to break in their house, literally.

LG and his younger brother Jordan, just had to be boys, and at one point they were monkeying around in the dining area. Jordan jumped on LG’s back. LG, because of his “man gene”, for who knows what reason, decided to play out some kind of move he learned watching WWF. To make Jordan regret jumping on his back, he lunged backward, with Jordan on his back, smashing Jordan’s backside into Amy and Tyler’s brand spanking new wall. You can imagine Amy and Tyler’s absolute HORROR at the sight of Jordan’s gluteous maximus impression, and I mean, MAXIMUS, in the middle of their wall.

Amy came at LeGrand will all her vengence (this was her BRAND NEW HOUSE). LG put his tail between his legs and went, beside his dad, like a disciplined child to the local Hardware store. They bought a Drywall patch kit and fixed it up as good as new. Amy says that she can still tell where the bum went through the wall, but I think it looked fine (then again, my bathroom is 1/2 way remodeled and I am OK with that).

Well, on the way home LeGrand was on the virge of tears. (He is going to kill me for writing this) It wasn’t that he felt so bad for his “man gene”. No one can explain that! He mostly just felt so bad because Amy was never going to forgive him. I thought that his WWF wrestling move was impressive, and I tried encouraging, reminding LG that he had been successful at getting Jordan off his back. I, being the bistander, saw the hilarity of the situation and I tried to make light of it as best as I could. I reassured him that the wall was as good as new and that Amy would eventually see the humor.

Eventually, was the right word. It wasn’t until this past year, 2004, that I FINALLY heard Amy laugh when replaying the scenario for friends. She still emphasized, “It was our BRAND NEW HOUSE.”