Seasonal

Halloween by NutMom

November 1st has quickly become 
one of my favorite days of the year.
It used to be the 2nd of November 
as that’s my birthday,
but now it’s the first.
For sure.
No contest.
Why?
It’s the day after Fall Madness.
That’s the only reason.
I hate the pressure
of Halloween.
Detest.
The pressure.
Even without comparing
it’s horrendous
to be a mom
at Halloween.
Here’s a poem
to explain.
The teenager hollered
starting three weeks ago.
“Mom, I need black tulle.
I also need black tights.
Don’t forget the spray paint
Oh, and I need that special make-up,
don’t worry
I’ll make sure it is just right.
Why don’t you dress up mom?
Why don’t you?
You’re no fun.”
The two girls in the middle
say
“Mom, I don’t want something out of the box,
I want something new.
I don’t know if I like
that 70% off costume.”
Chili cook-off dinner,
make sure you do the award winner.
Do you have some table centerpieces
to bring?
Why of course.
I just have to go and find them
in the garage,
buried under all my
back to school bins.
Not really.
Make all the calls for school parties,
try to get it done before dinner.
Take three days
to go to the school
and paint pumpkins
with the kids
because the PTA
thought it would be a great
idea to have a huge
Pumpkin Walk
just weeks following the carnival.
Oh, and don’t forget all the stuff
you had to purchase to put
in the gift baskets.
“Oh, you don’t want to do the craft.
You don’t want to do the game.
You just want to come to the class party and enjoy.
No worries.
I’ll take care of it all.”
Google and pinterest
are my best friends.
Too bad they can’t come
over and party tend
for me
so I can have a nap.
Off to the dollar store.
They don’t have orange balloons.
Neither does Wal-Mart.
Ah- ha I got the last bag
at the specialty party store.
I don’t need 100,
only 32,
I convince the clerk
to open the bag,
and sell them individually
for a quarter a pop.
Yes, you, even more procrastinating mom,
you are very welcome
at 10 am tomorrow.
“Caroline,
do you like this one?”
No mom it’s scary.
I don’t want to dress up.
I want to be a butterfly.
No, I don’t want to be a butterfly.
I want the cheap plastic wand.
But, what will you be with that?
That wand will be broken before
tomorrow night.
I’ve been there, done that.
At least 50 times.
Oh, look Caroline,
look at this cute
cowgirl hat.
It will go perfect with your
boots.
Oh, yes mom.
I love it.
It’s pink.
Do you want to wear it
trick or treating?
No I want to stay home with dad.
Dad wrote off Halloween
years ago.
He hates trick-or-treating.
Can’t we all just stay home?
We try to bribe the kids every year,
so far only the three-year old
thinks it’s a good idea to stay home.
Maybe we are moving in the right direction?
Let’s not even get into 
pumpkin carving.
That’s a whole other poem,
with the guts,
and the seeds,
that have to be roasted,
and the candles that have to be
found.
tonight.
And the specialty tools
that all break before the night is over.
And then I sit down for two seconds
before I have to run to the school.
And I look at the blogs.
And her family is all themed.
And her costumes are all homemade.
In fact,
I saw them
all over Pinterest
just yesterday.
And
this lady had a party
with handmade masks.
Oh, and this friend
has an annual
Halloween dinner
with spooky food.
Check out the jello worms.
I asked her if my kids
could come next year.
Because I am too tired.
And I just have to wonder?
Are these all the moms
that didn’t want to do the craft
or the game
for the school party?
Did they say no?
Or are they all as crazy as me?
Did they take them self to the picture show
last night too?
Because they just had to get away
after accomplishing
500 things yesterday
and then working their 4 hour shift
at their part time job
so they can afford
the game, craft, treat,
costume, pumpkin,
and the regular groceries.
Did they go to the movie
to avoid putting the kids to bed
because one more mom moment
would set them over the edge?
On the way home did
they sing to themselves
“took myself to the picture show
sat myself in the very last row
(da da  da da da da da
da da da da da da da –
because I couldn’t remember how
it really goes)
I’m a nut.
I’m a nut.
I’m a nut.
I’m a nut.
I’m a nut.”
Somehow I’m doing something wrong.
Terribly wrong.
Every year.
And maybe
next year
I’ll get it right.
Or maybe I will just
keep holding my breathe
and try not to flip out
for the next 20 years,
and then I can be the grandma
who takes the grandkids
for their photoshoot
every year on Halloween.
Maybe at that point,
my new 
favorite day of the year
will be Oct 1st
instead of Nov 1st.
Because I
won’t have to
worry about my sanity.
I don’t think it’s
a coincidence
that this song was written
about an acorn on the ground.
Probably in the Fall.
Like late October.
I’m a an acorn on the ground, 
Sitting under this here tree.
Everybody steps on me, 
That is why I’m cracked you see.

Chorus:
I’m a nut,
I’m a nut, 
I’m a nut, nut, nut-nut-nut.

Called myself on the telephone 
Just to see if I was home. 
Made a date for half past eight, 
Better hurry or I’ll be late! 
– Chorus 

Took myself to the picture show 
Sat myself in the very last row 
Wrapped my arms around my waist 
Got so fresh I slapped my face! 
– Chorus 

Bought some roses at the store.
Told myself I wanted more.
That’s why I broke up with me.
Now I am a nut that’s free!
– Chorus 

Gee, I miss me all the time.
Wonder if I’m doing fine.
Maybe I’ll stop by to see
If I have a chance with me.
– Chorus

Coca-Cola went to town, 
Pepsi-Cola shot him down.
Dr. Pepper fixed him up, 
Now we all drink 7-Up.
– Chorus


For those of you that don’t know the song.

 

 Oh and here’s another fun find.

The Trenchcoat

I was pretty stoked when I found this trenchcoat 
at the thriftstore a while back.
Did you know that it has a special pocket on the inside for a gun?
My hubby is the one that explained that to me.

I was just thinking how my hubby
would love for me to show up at his workplace
with just the trenchcoat.
If I packed a gun along with it,
I do believe it would make me 50% more sexy.

I got a free item with my purchase.
Of course I picked a book.

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Happy Valentine’s Day y’all.
I dare one of you to go to your husband’s workplace in just a trenchcoat.
Let me know how it turns out.

Sorry LG.
All you get is another dumb poem.

There are days.

There are days I want to strip down
and arrive at your workplace in
nothing but a trenchcoat,
but then I remember that you have co-workers.

There are days that I look at our children
and think how amazing we are
and how our posterity is the finest
and then I remember that they screw up,
but they are still the best kids ever.

There are days I can only feel love.
A love so consuming that I feel nothing else at all.
All I can think of is you with your arms around me
and then I remember how that actually feels
 to my skin
and it makes me love even deeper
which I never think is possible.

There are days I want to scream at you
because you frustrate me to no end.
Why don’t you do everything the way
I do everything?
And then I remember that you do the taxes,
and the technical support, and the math homework
and I am grateful that we are different.

There are days that I wonder where you are.
Are you in a man cave or another universe?
You retreat often inside yourself
because you are introverted and overwhelmed.
And then I remember what a great listener you are
which really helps me because I am the talker.

There are days in the distant past
(and hopefully many more in the future)
that the world consisted of just you and me
and we laid around and did nothing
but be together
and I remember those times as
the absolute best.
Ever.

There are days that are swallowed up in the busies.
And you and I run around serving our kids
our co-workers, and neighbors and friends
and we don’t have a second to think about ourselves
or each other.
And at the end of the day,
it’s all we can do to sneak in a good night kiss
and mumble an “I love you”
before the night turns into dreams
and I remember that I missed you
all day long.

There are days.
Many many days.
And hopefully many many more.
Where you and I are in love.
Through the think and the thin.
The wrong and the right.
The counseling and therapies.
And lessons learned and mistakes made.
The tired and the awake.
The kids and the jobs.
The cats and the dogs.
The sick and the health.
The sane and the crazy.
The summers and falls.
And winters and springs.
The basketball practices and dance lessons.
And doctor appointments and lunch breaks.
The afternoon delights and faraway business trips.
The jokes and the tears.
The broken down cars and the puking kids on flights.
The campfires and lightning bugs.
The mountains and hills.
The lakes and the oceans.
The hotels and pools.
The woods and the downtowns.
The pounds lost and the delicious treats.
The Christmases and birthdays,
and Easters and Flag Days.
The scripture readings and temple trips.
The vacations and lack thereof.

But really all those days
make up for the most beautiful thing ever.
Me and you.
Sharing the days.

Because through it all
we can count on one thing
and that is that
There are the days.
And they are ours.

2012 plus announcement

Man, 2011 was a great year for me.

I just got a job at  private alternative school that I am way excited about.
I am signing up to run a 5k tomorrow after I’ve trained diligently for 6 weeks.
My marriage is better than ever. (Trust me there were times that were really tough).
I have been reading my scriptures and saying my prayers consistently (almost daily).
I reached and surpassed my reading goal of 50 books.
I have been paid for book reviews this year.
Most of all, I have felt God’s hand in my life.

I hate to sound all braggy, it’s not really my style, but this year has been awesome for me, and I want to say thanks to all of you who have helped me in little and big ways. I really really deserved a good year. I’ve been through some really rough times over the past decade. Yes, decade.

2012 is looking like it will be even better.

The first thing you need to know is I started a new blog.
Come over and check it out.
I am super excited about the new challenge.

Ispyutah.com

My goals this year are:


FAMILY

1. Read scrips every day.
2. Do good every day.
3. Be quiet.

PERSONAL

1. Run four 5k’s. (keep 3x wk)
2. Read 54 books.
3. Weigh 180 or under.
4. Attend temple monthly.
5. Plan a family camping experience.
7. Dailies. (scripture study, prayer, service)
8. Be still and quiet.
9. Go back to college.
10. Stay under budget.
11. Go to bed & wake up w LG.
12. Show love and compassion.
13. Bond with the girls.


How about you? What are your goals?

Merry Christmas

Check out who was shopping at Target yesterday.

In the words of Mater,
“This here blog is bein’ neglected.”

I am spending lots of time with my family
and loving every minute of it.

Thank you to Jeremy for the reminder
that time is the best way to show love.

Merry Christmas to you and yours.

Maybe after Christmas, I will attempt
to write a yearly recap.

Maybe.

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Wondrous

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We are in the land of snow.
This photo was taken a few weeks back.
It would be a whole lot better
with my old broken camera,
but I take what I can get.

I was having a bad day
and when I opened up this file
it made me smile from ear to ear.

I am so blessed to be a mother
even if sometimes I want to quit the job.

My husband and my girls
are my greatest treasures.
Period.
Nothing else is relative
if I don’t have them first.

They make everything enjoyable.
Even the stuff I don’t like.
Snow
for instance.
Not a huge fan.
I did grow up in San Diego
after all.
But, my family makes snow
wondrous.
Wondrous to behold.

Thank you God
for giving me an eternal family
and this mortal life
with earthly experiences
to savor
with the ones I love most.

Kid Nativity

Today at Cub Scouts
we will be talking about the ways we worship.

While I give a lesson about how
as members of
The Church of Jesus-Christ of Latter-day Saints
we worship our Savior Jesus Christ,
the boys will be keeping their hands busy with this project.

Thanks Aunt Rosemary for the great idea.
And thanks cousin Ryan
for making this so very lovely
twenty years ago.

Nothing better than a vintage art project.
I believe this would make even Martha proud.
Martha Stewart and Martha in the Bible.

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Holly Wreath Cookies

Thanks to Donna for doing a virtual cookie swap. How much fun is that?
Anyone can join including you, so go check it out.

I am honored to be her first feature
with a long-standing family tradition cookie called
Holly Wreath Cookies.

Oh the memories of buttered up hands and brothers grabbing all the red hots first.
I don’t know how my mom put up with all of us.

Before I give you the recipe, let me direct you to Donna’s funniest recent blog post about what not to ask black people. Donna is black just in case you were wondering what makes her the expert.

Here is the recipe for those of you who like your cookies made from dirty little fingers.

Holly Wreath Cookies

1 Cube Real Butter
1 Bag Large Marshmallows
1/2 tsp Vanilla Extract
1/2 tsp Almond Extract
6 cups corn flakes
Lots of green food coloring
Red Hots if desired

First make sure you grease a few large pieces of wax paper prior to preparing cookies. We use Pam to spray the wax paper but mom always used butter or margarine.

In a large stock pot melt the butter. Add marshmallows, vanilla and almond extracts and stir until all marshmallows are melted. Be careful to not burn the mixture. Remove from heat and add green food coloring to bring mixture to a forest green color. It takes quite a bit but it definately looks better than avacado green when you use just a little.

When mixture is a good shade of green add the corn flakes. Fold the flakes into the mixture to avoid crushing the flakes. When flakes are sufficiently green scoop out approxiamtely 1 1/2 cups of flakes onto wax paper. Have kids rub their hands with butter and form the flakes into wreath shapes. Add red hots and let cool.