Living my Religion

Weakness
In my church we have modern day scripture called
The Book of Mormon is compilation
of Native American prophets.
The climax of the book is when Christ
appears to the Native American people.
of this written sacred event.
You can read about it here.

One reason, many Christian religions
say that Mormons are not Christian
is because of this Book of Mormon.
It pains me
because The Book of Mormon
brings me closer to Christ.
It helps me learn of Him.

One of my favorite verses from
The Book of Mormon
is

2 Nephi 25:26.
The words of Nephi, the prophet, are this:

“And we talk of Christ,
we rejoice in Christ,
we preach of Christ,
we prophesy of Christ,
and we write according to our prophecies,
that our children may know
to what source
they may look for a remission of their sins.”

Another of my favorite verses is
Ether 12:27

“And if men come unto me
I will show unto them their weakness
I give unto men weakness
that they may be humble;
and my grace is sufficient
for all men
that humble themselves before me;
for if they humble themselves before me,
and have faith in me,
then will I make weak things
become strong unto them.”

How powerful is that?

It’s a beautiful promise
that soothes the soul
of this imperfect woman.

And I am not the only one
who has felt the power
of this verse.

I can’t wait to show this video to my family tonight.

If this embedded video is not working

My kind of Craft Project and Chore Chart
I am NOT crafty.
That is not a confession,
like the kind you have to hide in a closet,
but a declaration of this is part of who I am.
More power to those of you who are crafty and take joy in it.
I would rather buy your stuff than attempt it myself.
Because I am a shopper.
Shopping is a talent I like to spend my time working at.
I’ts also something that I have learned how to curb.

You see, God made everyone different.
It’s o.k. that I am not crafty.
It’s o.k. that I don’t want to spend my time
trying to be like most of the other moms I know.
It’s o.k. that I would rather spend my time
reading and writing and bargain shopping.
It’s o.k. that I don’t care if my girls hair is perfection.
And that I don’t even like those horrible
crazy HUGE bows on the modern babies’ heads.
It’s o.k. that my house is simple.
That I don’t need a showroom
for my friends.
It’s o.k. It’s o.k. It’s o.k.

I recently came across a friend’s cool craft project.
It involves a T-shirt and a can of spray paint.
It’s my kind of project.
I am going to try it.
But, I will probably never post a picture of it.
Because that’s just not who I am.
I would rather blog about my
thoughts, opinions, ideas, and funny stories.

Go over and check out how to do it at Jennifer’s blog.
She’s most definitely a crafty.
In fact her mom tried to teach me how to sew once.
It was a disaster.
The only way my ugly skirt got done
was because my sister took pity on my
and finished it after she got done with hers.
We were 14 and 16,
and she was and still is a million times craftier.

And to add to that
Here is an example of the simplicity I prefer.
It’s our chore chart.

I will show you how to make your own
if you are craft challenged.
Like me.

This system made it through the whole summer,
and is still in full swing
into the first week of school.
I’m very proud.
Not of its gorgeous display,
or the effective system,
but I am proud of the fact
that I pulled out
the electrical tape,
crayons,
scissors,
paper,
contact paper,
and magnets,
and my kids made it for me.

The kids were crossing their weekly jobs out
with a dry erase marker
as they get them done.
Now, we just know when they’ve got them done.
The sooner the better.

Each of the girls were assigned a row.
Oldest to youngest.
And there is even a spot for Caroline.
Because we are putting her to work
as soon as possible.
Trust me,
the older girls
can’t wait to pawn stuff off on her.

And they each have three columns.
One for everyday jobs.
And a column of weekly jobs.
Because Excel spreadsheets,
I can reinvent.
We rotate the dailies on a weekly basis.
And they get to choose their own weeklies.
First come, first serve.
They love the grab.
And the competition.
We’ve initiated the concept
in family scripture study too.
Scripture chase:
Old Testament.
Go.
Proverbs 3:5-6
They are memorizing the
scripture songs
so they can get faster.
Watch out seminary kids.
The Gold Girls are in the house.

The last column is completely unrelated.
They are not rewarded any longer for chores.
They are expected to comply.
They don’t get allowance.
But, they do get warm fuzzies
for good behavior.
Kind of like
dad gets warm fuzzies from mama
for bringing home the bacon.

The black circles are worth 1 warm fuzzy.
The yellow are worth 2 and a treat at the store.
The red are worth 3 and a rented Redbox.
The blues are the biggest hit.
They are worth 10 and a date with mom, dad, or a friend.
The green are worth 20 or $5.
They haven’t learned to save up yet.
They like instant gratification.
In the form of candy and movies.
Lucky for dad.

The term warm fuzzy was coined
by my first grade teacher.
And you will hear me use it as a threat often.
“Go take two warm fuzzies for hitting your sister.”
But hopefully, more often than threatening,
you will hear me rewarding:
“Everyone gets three warm fuzzies
for being so helpful today.”

It’s on the fridge,
like every other important thing in my life.

And did I mention?
That it’s been working
at my house
for three months!!!

Kids doing chores = one very happy uncrafty mom.

One last sidenote:
At church the other day,
a teacher was explaining to me that
in his training he has learned
that you don’t want to divide and conquer your kids.
For example,
“Look at Bella, she is such a good cleaner.”

I am trying to figure out a way that I can
make this system
more of a Harry Potter style.
Where
everyone
gains
and
loses
together.
I am thinking that may
unify the girls
a little bit more.
Go Griffendor Gold Girls.

Oops
Look, Sophia got baptized.
We are so proud of her decision to take upon the name of Christ.
And, she is gorgeous.
Can you believe she picked this dress
at the thrift store for $3.
She HAD to have it.
It’s so Sophia.

“When was the big day”, you ask?
“In October 2009, on her 8th birthday.”
Oh, it’s August 2010; I must be late posting.

No, I just took this picture 2 weeks ago.
Because I realized that I had forgot.

Lucky for me, Sophia is really easy going.
And she can’t be mad at me for forgetting.
Because she covenanted to be Christ-like.

I wonder how long it will take for me to
remember child #3’s baptism picture?

Have I ever told you that mothers lose
brain cells with every pregnancy?
I am pretty sure that this old wives’ tale is true

(I have to say that my stone house makes a perfect backdrop.)

It’s too bad that Caroline was only 4 months old back then.
I may have gotten away with it.

www v.God

Last week I was without internet for two days.
You would think that someone had come along and stole half my brain.
It seemed I couldn’t get anything done.
It was like my life had turned into a picture taken with a 2 pixel camera.
Everything was still there, but I just couldn’t get it into good focus.
I just read this article by a Father Jim and it inspired me
to remember that sometimes I don’t go to the BEST resource for answers.
I can rely on God for answers a whole lot more than I do.
But, even though I do believe in God and going to Him for answers
I am not sure how much he would have helped me
with the following dilemmas that I faced
while being without my bestfriend the www.
I couldn’t figure out what to cook without allrecipes.com.
How was I supposed to find my way to the new doctor’s office without mapquest.com?
I couldn’t call Abigail’s new school because I didn’t have a way to look up the number.
Apparently I forgot how to use a phone book. Even if I could remember how to use one, actually finding it would be a whole different story.
I couldn’t go grocery shopping because I was unable to make my master plan without my most glorious coupon matcher Jenny at southernsavers.
What was going on in the world? How would I know without cnn.com or my local knoxnews?
I couldn’t study my scriptures without lds.org. O.k. I actually still read from the paper Bible, but I couldn’t use my study guides to help me along like usual, much less the words that I usually read from modern church leaders to enhance my understanding.
I can’t renew my books without knoxlib.org.
I couldn’t pay bills without access to my online accounts…not telling you what they are.
I couldn’t check that finished book off my list at goodreads.
I had no idea how much money I had (which probably wasn’t much anyway)
without instant access to my checking account.
Pre-ordering movies from redbox was impossible.
I would have to go and hope for the best in line at the machine.
The girls were driving me crazy without their youtube and littlepetshops fixes.
It seems I can’t even spell without dictionary.com.
And, maybe the worst of all, I didn’t even know WHERE I was supposed to be.
This year I converted my usual fridge calendar to google calendar
and I was really feeling lost without it.
The only way I knew where I was supposed to be
was to call my husband and have him look it up on his phone.
“Um, Alice, you were supposed to be at play group an hour ago.”
“Ah, man, I knew I was forgetting something.”
I couldn’t access family pictures.
How can I even mother without the random things that I use google for on an hourly basis.?
I’ve talked about my love for google in the past.
Let me give you some words I have recently typed into the search engine:
how to remove carpet glue from flooring,
treatments for ________rash,
signs of menopause,
home remedies for dog’s with dry skin,
what’s the difference between ADD and ADHD?,
codependence support groups online,
campsites in TN,
and the list could seriously go on for another page…
and that is all just from the last few hours of today.
None of these ordinary modern inconveniences even touch how isolated I felt from the world
without my e-mail, blog, blog reader, and facebook.
I guess I am not the only one who has become too dependent on the internet.
I recently heard my Bishop get up and speak when there was unexpected time left in a meeting. He got up on the spot and read a really good quote….
straight from his phone.
He said, “I would be lost without google.”
I will give him this though,
I am pretty sure God told him to read that quote.
And after my few blurry days last week,
all I’ve got to say is
“It’s just a good thing that God has google.”
How else could he expect the Bishop to pull out that sermon in two seconds flat?

SteeleStrong
I stole this photo from Rachel’s blog.
I am sure she won’t mind.
This is her at the hospital, surrounded by her volleyball team.
Rachel rocks on the volleyball court.
is a cool article about her team’s love for her
from
usavolleyball.org.

For a few years, while living in Utah,
we felt adopted into an amazing family.
We lived right next to the UVU campus in Grandma’s old house.
That is Grandma Steele’s old house.
LeGrand and I talk about the good memories of that time often.
We loved the people we went to church with,
we loved being close to campus,
and we loved the Steele’s.
We loved the peacocks, the dogs, the annie over games on our roof,
the little cousins who at times just walked in our door,
the occasional loose cow, the family resourcefulness,
the winning Pinewood Derby cars,
the music coming from Frost and Marie’s,
the garden out back, the annual easter egg hunt,
the Halloween pizza,
and just about everything.
One of our favorite things to do
was sneak out into the group of lawn chairs on Sunday nights.
They always spontaneously gathered at
Grandma Lucille’s and Grandpa Q’s who lived next door.
Under the big tree.
It’s like they were wired.
And after living there for a bit,
we did not want to be left out.
We were made to feel like family.
One time LG got a piece of mail that read:
Mr. LeGrand Q. Gold.
On that day, we knew it was official,
we were IN the family.
You see, LG really doesn’t have a middle name,
and there are countless Steele’s who have the middle initial Q,
after their beloved Grandpa.
Well, lately, I’ve been keeping up with Rachel.
You see, she started her own blog.
It’s one way she stays connected to the world,
during her long stays at Primary Children’s.
She was recently diagnosed with leukemia.
As far as we can tell, she is doing great.
We pray for her full recovery.
She is such a sweetie pie.
I remember one time she made Abigail
draw a picture of Abigail and cousin Joseph getting married.
Rachel also has an amazingly positive attitude
that is contagious.
I love reading her blog.
She is fun and funny.
Well, today I stumbled upon a video made for Rachel.
It is beautiful.
I wanted to share it.
Without words,
it screams,
SteeleStrong.
There is nothing better than family.
Unless of course,
your family has close to 100 people.
Then you can handle most anything.
Even adopting a couple of more
young married students,
and their kids,
who are far away from home.
And we hope they are hearing us
all the way in Utah.
“We love you too Rachel.”
We wear UT Vol Orange all the time,
so I guess we have been supporting you all along.

Forgiveness is a gift
This video is AMAZING!
Quite possibly,
at this moment,
my favorite on the web.

I’ve had some things in my life that were really hard to forgive.
I have found that the only way I was able to forgive
was because somebody perfect gifted me with the ability to do so.
Christ was that perfect example of taking Himself
and His own pain out of the situation.
He showed me the way,
when I thought it was impossible.
His charity allowed Him to care for others perfectly.
His love for others made it possible for Him to not be hurt by their issues.
“Forgive them Father for they know not what they do.”
We all have the beckoning call to be like Christ.
The only way to be like Him, is to go to Him,
and let Him wash us over with His grace.
As humans, it is very hard to love others in the same capacity
that we love God and we love ourselves,
but that is the requirement.
Only when we do learn this power,
can we overcome our trials and our sorrows.
Why is it a requirement?
Because God knows that is the only way to our happiness.
I am so grateful for my Savior Jesus Christ.
I know that He is the only way I have been able to forgive.
He is the only way that I can learn to love perfectly.
I know He is the Savior of the world.
But, today, I am mostly grateful
that He is my Savior, my Shepherd, my Mentor, my Perfect Example,
my Advocate with the Father, my Brother, and my Friend.

Who is Mormon?

I was mesmorized listening to the stories of other Mormons this morning. My church has done an amazing job with their site Mormon.org. I really love this page that features small videos of different Mormons and how they define themselves.

Here is a video to a mom named Rochelle that really touched me. I loved how she ended her 30 seconds. “I’m Rochelle. I’m a redhead. I’m a Texan. I’m a mother, and I’m a Mormon.”

Being a mom is so wonderful, but I have always had a soft spot in my heart for the mom’s of special needs kids. I am almost jealous of them. No, I AM jealous of them. God has given them a great gift. A special reminder that stays with them constantly that God is love.

Check out this video of Jane Clayson. You remember her from her job as a Network Journalist. You know, the one she gave up to be home with her kids.

Go and check out the videos. They are amazing. I love hearing people’s life stories. I will be watching videos the rest of the day. So far I have been introduced to a guy who works at the Library of Congress, a successful brilliant singer in England (who happens to be black and was left by his mother who went back to Nigeria when he was 11), a professional surfer, a Harley Davidson sculptor, and a several other professional artists.

I love Mormons. They are all so amazing. But, you know what? All people are amazing. Everyone has a story. I wish I could learn the story of each and every person I come in contact with.

If any of you ever want to meet some Mormons. Come to church with me anytime.

What’s your addiction?


So, as I have mentioned before I have been spending one night every week at a Codependent Support Group. It has been so eye-opening, supporting, and validating. The ladies range from being in physically abusive relationships to those who have had complete mental breakdowns. Many but not all have significant addicts in their lives in the form of a spouse or a child. The addicts are addicted to drugs, alcohol, sex, or they have personality disorders or just plain have character flaws that keep them from living normal lives.

We, the codependents, come to our meeting to get support on how we are supposed to deal with the chaos in our lives. We come to get support on acting like we know we should. We come to find our voice. Codependents are addicts too. We have everything very much in common with the people that society refers to as “the real addicts.” We come to our meeting to take responsibility for our part of the cycle. We come to recover from our own addictions, even if they are more socially acceptable.

The women in my group are all addicted to love, for that reason, they are also called codependent. You don’t know them, but I am sure you know somebody like them. It may even be you. You may be unaware that people like this can actually have an addiction too. Codependent people are self described as SuperHuman. They get it ALL done and more. They take care of everyone which means that they also attract needy people. They take self sacrifice to an all new level. Even though they are the ones that everyone goes to when they need something done, they are really a total mess, and should be the one seeking support, not dishing it out. They have no voice, except “do whatever it takes to keep the peace, to help people, and to stay loved.” They are totally unhealthy. Sometimes the people on the outside start to catch on to their problems. Why are they on their 20th loser boyfriend? Why do they stay with that man that beats the crap out of them? Why do they complain about so much yet do so little to change it? Why do they go crazy at the slightest turn of events? Why can’t they set boundaries?
This link was interesting to me this morning. It’s an article from Psychology Today about new thinking in regards to addicts. In the past we have all just thought that addicts were spiritually weak, or mentally ill, wired wrong, or maybe just given “the gene”. But, the more time that goes on, the more the experts realize that we are all addicts. Every single one of us. Humans have a mentally evolved reward system. We find things that make us feel good and we gravitate to those things. Some people choose exercise. Some people use food. Some have preferences for shopping, online gaming, pornography, tobacco, caffeine, alcohol, drugs, sex, or feeling loved by other people. So, you see, those of us who have in the past loved pointing fingers, are now stuck with only one option..turn that finger around, and evaluate yourself.
What is it that you are addicted to? Addictions can be rated at different levels of problematic. Your addiction may not be a problem because you have learned to control it. Everybody has something that attracts them. Some things are just more socially acceptable. We all put on the pedestal those people who have amazing bodies, but to look like that, they are probably more than likely addicted to exercise or body image, or both. Funny, that those model bodies have always been praised while the overweight have been ridiculed, and they really have the same problem deep down inside…addiction. One has chosen exercise and one has chosen junk food, but really it’s the same problem. They are looking for love in all the wrong places. Sorry I couldn’t resist using that lyric. They are both getting a mental feel good moment from whatever their choice of drug happens to be.
The thing we all hold in common is that we are each looking for things that reward our brain. Things that make you go OOOO. Things that make you go OOOOO. Some of us (OCD) find that fix in a clean house or an immaculate yard. Some prideful people are addicted to making their children perfect or at least having everyone think that they have a perfect little family. Many addicts are addicted to work. Again, one of those socially acceptable addictions. I think my kids are addicted to making messes. I don’t know how this makes them feel good, but it must because they do it all the time.
I love that of course, once again, my church was ahead of the game. Look here for the manual they put out on how to use the 12 steps to overcome addiction. They have a class at church once a week for addicts to attend. If they want help overcoming a weakness, they can use the class, the manual, and the 12 steps, to personally apply the atonement in their life and to let God help them overcome their addiction, no matter how socially acceptable. On the part of the person who wants to change, all that is required is the desire and commitment. Then when you seek out help, you will be given the tools to apply the grace of God and makes weak things strong.
The scriptures are true. The verses from the Bible that talk about moderation in all things were God’s way of telling us to bridle our passions, control the feeding rewards to our brains. We have to avoid our natural man telling us that we NEED the good feelings caused by our worldly passions. Get our rewards from God because there is one place where we can never have too much and that is God’s love.
Let go and let God. That’s what they teach in AA and it is gospel truth.

Our True Identity
I was hoping for something, anything inspiring at church today.
In Sacrament meeting, we got a talk about Staying Out of Debt.
Although it was good.
That topic is never really touchy feely for me.
Especially since we have so many law school loans.
My answer for greater peace
came today in the form of a video.
It seems like such simple message,
but I pondered on the application of it in my life.
If all of us
would just see ourselves
as God sees us,
we would not only be so much happier,
but we would have limitless potential.
We are all truly NOT ugly ducklings.

Book Review: Leaning Into The Curves


Every day this little old blog of mine gets
hit repeatedly from a certain google search.
Bucket list.
It has to do with this old post of mine.
It seems that everybody has a bucket list.
I know I do.
Funny that one thing I mentioned doing
in that old bucket list post
happened years ago at
The Rose Parade.
I asked a complete stranger for a ride
on the back of his Harley.
Fast Eddie was so sweet to me and graciously obliged.
is one of my fondest memories.
You have to just throw caution to the wind and enjoy life.
It is still on my bucket list to
ride across the country on a motorcycle,
stopping to see all the sites.
Funny that my husband’s bucket list
has the same cross-country trip,
but his chosen choice of transportation is an RV.
Someday our dreams will have to be negotiated.
I know this.
That is why I loved this line from Hank
to his loving wife, Molly, in
“The answers I need are right here.
You and me together.”
Negotiation isn’t a chore
when you have each other.
The jist of the whole book for me was:
when you love someone,
you make it work,
no matter what.
You compromise,
you change,
and communicate,
and you overcome fears,
and choose to trust each other
and love your differences.
Now who can’t use a book like that?
Leaning Into The Curves
felt like a real life love story.
That is much preferred by this realist,
over all that impossible romance rhetoric.
The authors, Anderson and Morris,
are obvious pros at this marriage thing.
While reading the book,
I found myself following along on my
own Honda Gold Wing,
touring with the Temple Riders Association,
on a wonderful adventure,
full of charming life-like characters.
It was an extra bonus
that I was also taken through
some marriage counseling, too.
The authors are not just wise
wives, mothers, and grandmothers,
obviously in touch with an array of life challenges,
but they are witty,
and very stealth with their flawless life coaching
through great story telling.
And I know you can all use some
bonus marriage counseling
and life coaching.
Reading this story
was like sitting at the feet
of a beloved grandmother,
where she is effortlessly telling her life stories,
and everything that she says
is exactly what I needed to hear.
Although there are some
disappointing “for Mormon eyes only” references,
I still think even Non-Mormons could
relate and be entertained.
(But what do I know about writing for a specific audience?)
It was a really light and fun read.
And funny. Did I mention funny?
And I am not just saying that because
they sent me a free copy to review.
I would give it a strong 4 stars.
I rarely give out a 5.
Like maybe 10 adult books in the whole universe.
So buy it.
This would be a great gift for
retired people,
best girl friends you love to walk with,
newly-married people,
motorcycle loving people,
adventurous people,
people with an irrational fear,
people who need to find a hobby,
or people who need to create a bucket list.
And if you are never going to read this book,
do one thing,
get back in touch with your bucket list.
Don’t wait until you are retired to enjoy life a little.
I relearned that important truth in the pages of this book.
Oh, and they nailed the end.
I never love the end.
This one was great.
And I was happy for the closure,
which was somewhere between,
“they lived happily ever after”
and
“they loved each other all along”.