FunnyBlog

Taking Care

You know how in passing we say “take care.”
Yeah, you’ve said it.
You’ve heard it.
Do you mean it when you say it?
Do you really hope others will take care of themselves?
Do you really do it?
When someone tells you to take care,
do you really take care of yourself?

As a codependent I used to think it was my job
to take care of everyone and everything.
I was always sticking my nose in other peoples’ business.
Yes, peoples is plural.
I tried to control others.
I would serve them to make them love me
or to change them
or just to be in control.
I had no idea I was doing it
but I was.
Then I gained awareness
and I’ve tried really hard to change me ways.

So now I try not to excessively worry about other people,
(it’s still a work in progress)
and I also try a lot harder to worry
about the only thing that was in
my control all along: me, myself and I.

Several years ago I made a very conscious decision
that I was going to take care of me.
That little decision has made me a much happier person.
Not only did it free me from the things that weighed me down and were out of my control,
but it changed my focus completely.
I am always asking myself what I need now.
I don’t rely on everyone else to make me happy,
I just try to have a healthy self dialogue to honestly assess my needs
and then I go out and get what I need.

I never used to do that
and then I would be all resentful that nobody was taking care of me.
Half the time I didn’t know what I needed
and half the time I did, but I would wait for someone else
to magically show up and give it to me.
In this case there is no such thing as magic.

Of course I was too afraid to look inward
and realize that the blame lied with me,
and not on the others who couldn’t work magic
and so I walked around with a chip
on my shoulder all of the time.
I was mad all of the time.
Nobody cared about me.
Boo hoo hoo.

Now I can graciously accept it when others love me
because I no longer have the excessive need to be loved
and I don’t expect people to work magic
like in the past.
I appreciate their love and want it,
but I don’t have an excessive need for it.
I have the one thing that I really need most:
I love myself.
I take care of myself.

Two days ago
I found this little gem below
on the ground next to
our pile of backpacks.
One of my daughters
had been writing about me at school.

It made my century.
One – someone else notices that I can take care of myself.
Two – that person is one of the people I want to be a good example for most.
Three – She knows it is safe to say that I have flaws because we all do.
Four – She didn’t dwell on the flaws. Thank goodness.

It is the only way to really live: taking care.

If we can’t take care of ourselves

nobody else will.

Or they might try really hard

but it will never really penetrate because

the inner you will be in turmoil.

Trust me on this.

Take care now, ya’ hear.

While running after writing this post

I heard this song by MJ

and thought my next step is to

find the right balance

of caring for myself and others

for the right reasons.

I wish Michael Jackson would have taken care of himself.

Book Review: 10 Questions to Answer While Preparing for a Mission

I did receive a copy of this book in exchange for my review,
but like always I gave you my honest opinion.

10 Questions to Answer While Preparing for a Mission by Benjamin Hyrum White
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

This little how-to book should be given to every perspective Mormon missionary long before they serve. It is full of nuggets of wisdom from the author (who also teaches seminary), church leaders, and scripture. It is a great guide that can be followed with ease. As a returned missionary, I absolutely agree with everything that is preached from its pages and I look forward to gifting my copy to my soon-to-serve nephew or niece, if I can stand to part with it. I may have to buy them their own copy and I am sure it won’t be the last. (Can I just input here how much I love how recent church policy changes have made it as likely for one of my neices in college to serve a mission as it is for my nephew who is a freshman at BYU?)

At $9 it would also make a perfect companion for that tie you already bought for your future missionary. The book can be useful for young people who need to hear what is expected of them: to be worthy to serve someday. It will also be equally helpful to those serving: reminding them of their great privilege and duty to preach the gospel of Jesus Christ and how to really measure their success even if they never baptize anyone. And last but not least it contains helpful hints to the returned missionary: get a job, go to college, endure to the end.

I rarely give a 4 star rating to books that I’ve been invited to review, but this one absolutely deserves it. I assume that the market for this paperback is a little smaller than most being that it is written for LDS missionaries, so that means that I need to be that much more adamant in telling you that every missionary needs a copy (even those senior couples.) It really is full of great advice and one will feel the spirit of God testifying of its wisdom as they read. What more could an author hope for? Well done, Brother White.

You can purchase the book at Deseret Book,
Seagull Book (sorry Seagull couldn’t find a link), or Amazon.

View all my reviews

Here’s a little bit more about the author:

Benjamin Hyrum White was born and raised in the San Francisco Bay Area. He labored in the Colorado Denver North Mission and was employed at the MTC during college. Ben met his wife, Keenan, while they both were dancing with the International Folk Dance Ensemble at BYU. They each graduated from BYU with a degree in Family Science. Brother White is a seminary teacher and recently received his master’s degree in religious education from BYU, where he wrote the history of Preach My Gospel. Ben and Keenan reside in Orem, Utah, with their four children.

Sophia the Wise

The name Sophia means wise.

When my Sophia was born

I took one look into her eyes

and I knew she was an old soul.

Sophia was on our short list,

I knew it meant wise,

and I knew the name belonged to this

little one.

Whenever I take the time to think about it,

I realize that I made the perfect name choice.

I was supported

when yesterday Sophia came home from school.

Her teacher is really into the Chinese zodiac

and Sophia’s class has been getting their fill.

Sophia said that she was born in the year of the snake

and that snakes are wise.

What a coinkydink.

I am so proud of my Sophia.

She is many of the traits listed above:

quiet, unassuming, prefers to work alone,

sympathetic, intuitive, and amorous.

She is an angel.

Truly.

She is also very talented.

I would love to take all the credit

for her compassion, kindness, and nurturing ways,

but she came to us with them.
I know that she is

not just special to me and LG

but she is also special to God.

She embodies God.

She embodies love.

She has blessed my life so much

and she makes me want to be

a better person.

The school rewarded her

yesterday

for being the way she is.

I told her she should call her Grammy

and tell her thanks

because she is so much like

my mother-in-law.

The funniest part of Sophia’s

character connection award

is that Sophia came home

and said,

“Mom, I was so weird-ed out.

I am 11,

I don’t want to be known

for love.”

I am so glad I don’t have to retire yet,

we obviously still have a lot to learn

about love.

Well Sophia doesn’t,

she has it down.

Maybe I just need to explain.

Mustache you about those beards

While having cream of wheat in the kitchen Thursday morning,

here was the conversation.

Caroline (in her alarmed voice): “Mom, we have beards again.”

Me: (referring to the photos on the wall) “Who did that?”

Caroline: “Abigail.”

Me (laughing): “Why would she do that?”

Caroline (in all seriousness): “Because she’s a brat!”

I have loved these photos in our dining room.

They have given us a whole lot of entertainment.

One of my favorite times was when I noticed

that the kids had switched the order of the photos

so that they read

Ice-cream is better than your love.

I guess that would be an honest statement

depending on whether or not

you have an available bowl of ice-cream.

Funniest part is that by the time

this busy mom noticed

the kids swear they had been rearranged for

at least a month.

Maybe ice-cream is better than my love.

Sometimes I am too busy serving my family

that I forgot to stop and make sure they know

that I love them dearly.

My opinions

I never keep my opinions to myself.
Those of you who know me,
know that I always speak the truth.
So when I say NEVER I mean never.
And by truth, I mean
things the way that I see them.

One of my goals this year is to NOT
make any comments at church
for a whole year.
You have no idea how hard
this is going to be for me.

Maybe if I don’t raise my hand
or blurt out anything funny
my husband will channel
his polar opposite and get
up one fast Sunday and
bear his testimony
to the world.

Be the change you wish to see in the world.

There are good sides to being the way that I am.
Some people really like me for my openness.
There are bad sides too.
Some people are big-time haters.

I am a very black and white person.
It is something I am trying to work on:
taking myself into the grey zone
from time to time.
How weird does that sound?
Who wants to be stuck in the Twilight Zone?

I don’t want to be the kind of person
who instantly likes another
or hates them.
I want to be how I would hope
others would be for me,
like my good,
ignore my bad.

A while back in church we discussed

If you judge people,
you have no time to love them.
~Mother Teresa

Man, I suck at this.

However,
because this is my blog,
I can use it to throw opinions out,
Guilt-free.

So even though you all know I am trying to
not judge people,
and give them the benefit of the doubt,
here are some of my black and whites
that I am trying to turn grey.

I am not into essential oils,
even though every other mom in Utah is.
I will use some if you give them to me for free,
otherwise I will stick to the stuff
I can buy at the pharmacy in Wal-Mart.

I am not into whole foods, even though I did just make cookies with coconut oil and they were good.

I think Girl Scout cookies are evil.
I gained 5 pounds in one week one time
because I ate 3 boxes in a day.
I don’t let my girls be Girl Scouts.
I say it’s because I don’t need one more thing in my life,
but really it’s because I still hold a grudge towards those cookies.

I feel sorry for people with bratty kids, and even though I try and tell myself that my kids are brats sometimes and maybe their kids have a special condition, I mostly am stuck in blaming other people for their crappy parenting. (Mental illness is the exception here. I do know a lot of kids that do in fact have conditions.) I am talking about the kids whose only condition is crappy parents. For some reason I can love the kids easier than their parents. I guess because I recognize that the parents are doing the best they can and I shouldn’t take it out on the kid.

I hate how rude people have become when in public movie theaters. Turn off your phone already. Don’t bring your baby to an action film (or any film) unless you are prepared to take them out at the first sign of fuss. Stop talking. Watch the dang show and remember the people around you paid almost $10 to do the same.

I gravitate towards people who have an exceptional sense of humor (as long as it is a lot like mine) and/or love to have a good time. I also gravitate towards people who are exceptionally smart. I guess opposites do attract sometimes. Wait, does that mean I’m not really funny? Yes, I am admitting I am not smart. I have a goal this year to tell myself I am smart every day until I believe it.

I am so annoyed with people who think they are more important than other people, especially when they are humored by the whole community around them. Your kids are not that cute and they don’t deserve special privileges. That is all I am going to say about that because someone reading this may figure out who I am talking about.

I have major issues with dads who father kids but then don’t provide for them. Major. Issues. I have issues with mothers who allow this to happen and don’t walk away and/or advocate for their kids or in the very least get a job. Once again I don’t have a hard time with the kids, they’ve never been taught any different. Why can I not see the grown parents as the kids that were never taught any different?

I also have issues with the hypocrites that get up in front of crowds and talk about how much they love their families, but really avoid spending time with them as often as they possibly can.

I really don’t want visiting teachers. I understand this makes me a hard person to love. I don’t like feeling like an assignment. Be my friend or don’t but don’t come and check on me because someone told you to.

Here is a doozie for you. If in the next life man is going to be totally pure of thought, but can also have a more than one wife, does that mean he will be able to have sex with them at the same time? I truly do lose sleep wondering about things like this.

I secretly hate people who won’t admit their weakness. I really do. Don’t live your life in such a way that your goal is to make everyone else around you think they have to live up to your standard. bahahaha That sounds pathetic. It is what it is.

I am openly jealous of homeless people: not only do they not have to pay taxes, they have freedom to roam wherever they want to go and do or not do whatever. After many pep talks from my husband, I have come to understand how totally irrational and ridiculous this is.

I hate brussel sprouts. (I just looked up brussel in the dictionary) I can’t imagine any scenario where they would actually taste good. O.k. maybe I wouldn’t hate them if they were all I could find to eat after three days of starvation, but I wouldn’t think they taste good. Ever.

I am going to hell for saying everything I just said. I should delete this whole post. I should have said prayers and studied my scriptures before opening my blog this morning. I don’t really know if I want to let you all in on my deep dark secrets. This post is going to have haters and lovers. Can’t wait for the lovers. Trying to ignore the haters already.

Hitting publish. now.

Book Review: The Willpower Instinct

This is a paid review for the BlogHer Book Club.
Go here to join the discussion.

The Willpower Instinct: How Self-Control Works, Why It Matters, and What You Can Do to Get More of It by Kelly McGonigal
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Here is my word one review of this book: fascinating. Absolutely fascinating.

Reading this book made me feel like I was being embraced at the smart kid table. Even though I only got a low 20 on my ACT it no longer mattered, the smart kids were more than willing to share with me their secrets. Even though I didn’t know it before I joined them for lunch, I really needed to know all their secrets. You see the smart people are the ones who get willpower. Because they ever so intellectually understand the research; they know what they have to do to drink milk not soda, avoid the desserts all together, and most importantly NOT say anything EVER that is going to be offensive. (Well, I guess I did kind of know I needed that last one.)

I would love to follow around the author of this book: Kelly McGonigal, Ph.D. and a professor at Stanford. I want to watch her every move and I want to question her incessantly at how much of the information she uses from her research to guide her every day decisions. I laugh as I imagine the endless scenarios: Starbucks (are you getting that coffee just because you didn’t get enough sleep last night?), Checking e-mail (Are you checking it out of habit, is this what you really want to be doing right now?), Vending machine (Are you not getting the healthy option just because it’s there?). Read the book. You’ll quickly understand.

All kinds of interesting people find their own willpower by attending McGonigal’s seminar, and for the rest of us less-interesting folks who can’t afford to go to California, there is the book. I think I would prefer to attend the seminar, but the book sometimes just has to do the trick because it’s all we’ve got. I did a quick read of this book for this review, but the next time I pick it up (and there will be a next time) I plan to read it as it was originally intended: a self-guided master through a willpower challenge in my life. I think the book will be much more powerful when used a bit at a time towards a real-life obstacle, especially for those of us from the lower end of the IQ spectrum who (cough cough) have a hard time retaining all the amazingly fascinating information.

Great read and I highly recommend it to everyone, but especially those of us that are sick of fighting the same battles of willpower over and over again. And really, isn’t that all of us? Even the kids at the smart table had to learn this for themselves; they just did it before the rest of us suckers.

View all my reviews

Here is an interesting small workshop I found on youtube.

Caroline Temple

In 2011 I posted a picture of Sophia’s clay monsters.

Today in my draft box I came across

this video of Caroline’s destruction of it.

How time flies.

And how this little Caroline (Shirley Temple) got all grown up

is beyond my comprehension.

I miss the baby stage.

I really do.

How entertaining toddlers are.

How she has grown.

Funny quick story about Caroline

and her Shirley Temple like talent.

When we were at Abigail’s choir concert back in December,

the choir director assisted the choir

with their accapella number

with their three start notes on the piano.

Three year old Caroline

took her cue

and loudly

very loudly

sang

each note

in succession

in perfect pitch

with the lyrics

la la la.

We all chuckled

which egged her on more.

Which was a really bad thing

considering the choir

was about to sing

Angels we have heard on high

and Caroline took our

laughter as a cue

that she was invited to

a sing-along

with every round of

Gloria.

Proud parenting moment.

I need to get this girl in pre-Broadway classes.

Instead I bought her a pair of tap shoes

at the thrift-store.

2013 goals or Going for the Gold

I’ve been trying to finalize my 2013 goals.

Even though I gave myself a C last year,

I am an absolute believer in the adage

“goals that are not written down are just wishes.”

While at Ikea on our date Saturday

LG and I came up with a winning idea

on how to motivate our family

towards betterment.

Money is a pure motivator

for all of us,

so we are going to reward ourselves

with GOLD.

We decided on family Olympics

for 2013.

Or as LG says,

“We’re having family hunger games.”

Everyone will get to put their names

in a pot in a once a week drawing

for 5 gold coins.

We will all earn chances in the pot

by accomplishing

our 5 personal and 5 family goals daily.

(That’s up to 70 shots a week)

Unlike hunger games,

we want our names in the pot.

The more we accomplish our goals,

the better chance we have to win a gold coin (or 5).

Our theme is

“Go for the Gold.”

Get it.

We’re the Gold’s.

We’re so funny.

I am super excited about

the 5 rings of improvement.

LG and I narrowed our desires for our kids into

5 categories:

spiritual, mental, physical, emotional, and financial.

(See the above photo)

Here are the goals

we came up with as a family

in each category.

Some of these goals are going to be easier than others.

Reading should be a cinch.

Believe it or not

I think sharing feelings

might be harder (especially for some)

than daily scripture study.

The kids are already up in arms

about the soda

but I love that they will still have the choice.

If they drink soda,

they lose a shot at a dollar.

If it were up to us

we’d take it away all together

but this way we make the point

without taking away their agency.

I am super excited about

seeing how this family challenge

will pan out.

I hope to win a few bucks along the way

and I think this may

have the “fun” factor

to keep us motivated all year.

Anyhow,

I am sure you have all been dying

to see what my goals are for

2013.

With no further ado,

by category

we go.

Financial

1.Save a $1 a day toward family vacation.

2.Stay under budget.

Emotional

1.Journal/study/meditate daily before doing anything else.

2.No phone in bed.

3.Give a meaningful inspired service weekly.

Physical

1.Use myfitnesspal every day until I weigh under 160 pounds.

2 Keep running 3x/week.

3.Run 2 half marathons (unless I get pregnant)
4. Add in a fourth workout every week. Something other than running.

Spiritual

1.Pray every day.

2.Temple once a month (take Abigail with 4x)

3.Organize family genealogy.

Mental

1.Learn a new word every day.

(I discovered a cool app for this)

2.Go back to school,

even if it’s just one class.

3.Write every day

(blog/outline of novel)

4.Read 100 books

(adding in 1 junior non-fiction

to regular reading goals)

Marital

1.Bond every night.

(Communicate regularly)

2.Go to bed and wake up together.

It’s lofty, I know,

but if I only get a C,

I will still have accomplished twice

as much as if I had never written anything down.

My OCD side really loves fresh starts.

Just think, we have one every day.

New Year

In Utah,

we’ve had some record colds

for the past week.

I’ve loved all the snow.

I don’t think Olive has though.

Check out her water

frozen over.

We’ve all been enjoying our

Christmas gifts.

Caroline is up to her same antics.

But like her shirt says,

she is the best present ever

so it’s o.k. that

she’s spoiled rotten.

Right?

Notice that Santa

did bring the girl

all she wanted.

Make-up and nail polish.

Sophia finally got a fijit (she’s wanted it for 2 years
and Santa found it on sale at Target for $15.)
Caroline with her make-up case.
She has carried it around the house with all her treasures.
Bella with her FurReal Pets.
Abigail with her combat boots. Katniss style.

My favorite gift you ask?

It is a 50/50 toss up between

my pizelle maker

that I asked for on pinterest

and

the diamond earrings

that LG

picked out

all by myself.

But my favorite of all was this purse.

I’ve been looking for the perfect purse for 3 years.

LG and I spotted this at TJMaxx a week after Christmas

but it was $100 so I put it back.

LG went back to the store

on his own accord and

surprised me with it for no reason at all

on New Year’s Eve.

He said it is my

“the party is over” purse.

That means I’ll have it to enjoy

when I go back to living on a

non-Christmas bonus budget.

It makes me so happy every time I see it.

I love this photo from Christmas.

Abigail thought that Bella’s present was awesome.

One of my favorite Christmas traditions is

taking the girls to the Dollar Tree and letting them shop.

It always proves to be entertaining.

I justify the expense by only letting them shop

for a select few and by

not doing stockings.

Oh yeah, this post was supposed to be about New Year.

Well, we had a great New Year.

We got to be reunited with our good friends

The Varnon Family

from Knoxville TN.

They were bringing Jordan out

for his first semester of college

and stayed with us a few days.

That’s Jordan.

The kid figured out that he can dominate

at Just Dance4 by only moving his arm.

Yeah, our family room is not made for 13 people,

but cozy is how we prefer to do things around here.

I suck at dancing.

But man I’m looking fit,

even with that layered looking

hanging all out.

Isn’t Caroline the cutest?

She’s a great dancer.

So are all these girls.

Of course we took the obligatory outoftowners

sightseeing trip to

Temple Square.

Here are two of my favorite photos.

I wish I had more time to play with my camera.

Here are the Varnon’s

in front of the historical

Salt Lake Temple.

And here they are

in the Conference Center.

We stopped in at the church’s

Historical Museum.

They have a pretty great kids’ wing.

LG was pretty sick that day.

What a trooper.

I’m always amazed at how

some of my favorite pictures

are the spontaneous ones.

I sure love these kids.

Oh yeah,

we have rung in the New Year

with the Varnon’s

every year but 2011 for about 10 years.

We missed our other

partners in crime

The Ryan family.

I am pretty certain

this year was the best.

The photo says it all.

We did some other fun stuff

while the Varnon’s were here.

We went up to see

Bridal Veil Falls.

We saw a funny movie.

(Highly recommend Here Comes the Boom).

We went to BYU.

We checked out Deseret Industries.

And last but certainly not least,

we went sledding.

If you made it this far in the post,

you are our true friends

and you are invited

to come and crash at our house

past the 3 day

fish and family stink

rule

any time.

Happy New Year y’all.

We love you Varnon family.

Hope you still love us

after spending that much time at our house.

All I want for Christmas is books.

I just guest blogged my 2102 Bookbuyer’s guide
here for a great friend, Donna.
(What a great idea! I’ve never done one before.
I do believe Donna started a tradition)

I decided to add my own twist.
I’m adding in a contest here
to compliment the post.
Make sure you enter to win
by matching the books with their categories below.

First a bit about Donna.
You all remember her birthstory here, right?
How could you forget.
Donna has a great new blog called Donna’s Dish.
She is one of the most hilarious people that I know.
I love her dearly.
Serious. I want her for my neighbor in the next life.
We would just laugh through eternity.

Donna is a foodie.
She is pretty good at a lot of stuff.
Fashion, decorating, shoes,
pop-culture, handbags, food, parenting, yoga.
She lives in NEW YORK.
Someday I am going to see her.
Hopefully sooner rather than later.
She WILL take me to every place worth
mentioning to eat as many calories as possible.

She’s not a lame Mormon mommy blogger
who only shows picture of her uber gorgeous kids
or scrapbooking pages.
She’s real and interesting and FUNNY!
I want to be like her when I grow up.
She also will tell you really funny stuff about what
it’s like to be a Mormon and black
and she always references The Cosby’s.
Like I said, you will love her.

For some reason, Donna has come to me to be her book expert.
Head over for my expert opinion. (chuckle chuckle)

I based my list by who you gotta buy for
cause we all know that’s how we do our Christmas shopping.

Before you head over see if you can match the categories with their books.
Match at least three correctly below in the comments and I will enter you to win a free book.
That’s right I will mail it directly to you (if you are my winner) next month.
Contest ends on Christmas.

She Friend (two picks)
Little Girl
Big Girl
Teenage Boy
He Friend
Grandma
Little Boy
Big Boy
Him
Teenage Girl
Her
Grandpa
The Whole Family