Caroline

Stuck
This morning while trying to fold laundry
the baby was out of sight
for a few minutes.
She began hollering.
I ran to the rescue.
She had climbed onto the kitchen table.
My last post makes this story even funnier.
This morning someone had left the maple syrup
in the middle of the table.
Of course that is Caroline’s spot.
I assume she had climbed up to claim it back.
In her 16 month old mind
I guess she decided to take that syrup out.
Out of the bottle to be exact.
The table had a healthy layer of syrup
across it’s whole surface.
And of course Caroline
had it all over herself too.
She was hollering because she didn’t know
how to get out of the mess.
If she moved, she would stick in place.
I scooped her up and put her in the bathtub.
Clothes, shoes and all.
I’m experienced like that.
We got the job done.
Caroline was stick free.
The clothes were in the dirty laundry pile.
And the shoes were washed out.
The table was also scrubbed
to shine.
Now that Carline is down for a nap,
I’ve had a minute to reflect
on my relatively unproductive day.
About how this little incident
parallels my life right now.
I feel stuck in the middle
of a lot of sticky goo.
No matter where I choose to move to
or even if I choose to sit,
it’s still not fun.
And I want to holler out for help.
I wish someone would scoop
me up and throw me in the bath.
And then clean up all the messes.
And then I remember that I am 37 years old
in three days.
And no longer 16 months old.
And I have to find my own way
out of messes.
Even if I don’t like syrup
and would have never
spread it across my living space.
I need an
Aunt Jamima size miracle.
And I am sure that God will deliver.
Because I am his 16 month old
who cries out of help.
Even when I am 36 and 362 days.

My Baby Announcement

Caroline is gorgeous.
All my girls are gorgeous.
I think I may be done having children.
I am not sad.
If I had to be done at some point,
I am glad to make this sweet girl the baby in the family.
She is so perfect.
But I am not.
And I am tired.
And old.
And I am afraid if I have any more
they will be completely neglected.
Every time I turn around,
this baby is into something.
She climbs.
She climbs.
And climbs.
She thinks her spot in the family
is sitting in the exact center
of the kitchen table.
She will find a way to get there,
no matter how many chairs I overturn.
And no matter how many times
I tell her no.
She finds electronic gadgets
and tries to drop them as many times
as she can
before she is caught.
She has broken
2 cameras,
1 laptop,
and a remote control
is lost forever.
Probably in the garbage.
She is constantly dirty
because her mother is lackadaisical.
It’s a good thing
that babies
with food on their faces
are so cute.
The girl will find
anything
that is not to be found.
We have nailpolish on our wood floors.
We have markers on walls.
We have ripped homework.
We have chocolate stains.
And missing shoes.
And not a single chapstick
that hasn’t been eaten.
When the fridge is open
and she is standing by
she goes straight for the tobasco.
Go figure.
She likes to suck the bottle.
I better not have any more children
or they may be taken away
by the authorities.
Oh how I love this child.
She is perfect.
Perfectly energetic.
She is a rambunctious dancer.
She loves to dance.
She loves to sing.
She loves to try and repeat
anything we tell her.
She calls everything and everyone
Jesus.
Because she has a picture of Jesus
above her changing table
and we practice his name
every change.
She can also say stinky ka ka
very well.
She hates bugs.
Freaks out at bugs.
She is a loud child.
She screams like nobody’s business.
She loves our dog and cat.
She LOVES her sisters.
She loves books.
She will open any book she can find
and read it to you.
It’s amazing how many books
are about Jesus.
She is strong.
She can throw a tantrum
that scares her father
who is 285 pounds.
She has the most amazing
attention to detail.
She is always watching
everything.
She thinks every cell phone
on the earth
belongs to her.
To do with as she pleases.
It’s like she has a cell phone detector.
If she is in the same room,
the same house,
the same car,
or the same soccer field,
and you pull out a phone,
she will be there for the grab.
She always wants to play on the computer.
I really think she is trying to program.
No joke.
She has the mouse down.
And the keyboard.
She knows how to open and close windows.
Did I tell you that she is only
16 months old?
I love this child.
I love her
differently than my other kids.
I think it’s because
she is the baby
in the family.
Or maybe it’s because I am
almost 40.
Did I mention how
tired I am?
And old?

How to dress up like a cow
We recently took a trip to Chick-Fil-A
for some free chicken.

All you had to do was dress up like a cow.

It was in this setting that I realized,

that moms can try as hard as they want:
they can make costumes
and help coordinate efforts

but, they can
never
even
try to
replace
dad.

LG is such a good sport.
Or he really just likes free chicken.
Nobody got his costume.
Except for this other dad,
standing close by
in his sissy
jersey spots.
He let out a good manly chuckle
at the sight of LeGrand,
being the man that he is.
I think he is going to rethink
his costume next year.
I wonder how many men
will show up as bulls
next time?
But, remember,
you saw it here first.
LeGrand needs all the manly points
he can get
in this household
full of women.
Like our 4 daughters
always say,
“even our cat and dog
are girls.”

Oops
Look, Sophia got baptized.
We are so proud of her decision to take upon the name of Christ.
And, she is gorgeous.
Can you believe she picked this dress
at the thrift store for $3.
She HAD to have it.
It’s so Sophia.

“When was the big day”, you ask?
“In October 2009, on her 8th birthday.”
Oh, it’s August 2010; I must be late posting.

No, I just took this picture 2 weeks ago.
Because I realized that I had forgot.

Lucky for me, Sophia is really easy going.
And she can’t be mad at me for forgetting.
Because she covenanted to be Christ-like.

I wonder how long it will take for me to
remember child #3’s baptism picture?

Have I ever told you that mothers lose
brain cells with every pregnancy?
I am pretty sure that this old wives’ tale is true

(I have to say that my stone house makes a perfect backdrop.)

It’s too bad that Caroline was only 4 months old back then.
I may have gotten away with it.

It’s all how you look at it.

Caroline is 4 weeks already. I can’t believe it.

Here was my mommy conversation with my 7 year old the other day.

Sophia: “Mom, Caroline is so so smart.”

Me: “I know, all my girls are smart. Why do you think she is smart?”

Sophia: “Oh it’s so easy. She already learned how to cross her eyes. It took me forever to learn how to do that.”

All of my older girls have been in heaven for the past week while Uncle Jordan’s family has been visiting. There is a younger kid around for each of them to have one to themselves at all times.