Author: alicewgold

I would like to state that I am a brunette, but now I am a mix of grey, white, brown, and blonde. I would also like to say that I am 150 pounds, but that would be a boldfaced lie. How about I say I am work in progress because that is the truth? A beautiful work in progress. I love the sound of my fingers tapping on the keyboard and my greatest hope is that something that I write will lift someone else on their journey.

Sugar-free Fruit Leather

I could not believe how easy it was to make my own fruit leather.
Really, I know you think it will be too hard to do, but anyone can do this.
It’s three easy steps.
That’s it.
From now on I will be making my own.
It’s way healthier and a whole lot cheaper.

Step 1: Prepare your fruit. Peel. Wash. Treat with any anti-browning agent (Ball Fresh Fruit).
Caroline is modeling pears, but they could just as easily be apples, peaches, or berries.
I am not sure how bananas would do, but you could try them.

Blend your fruit together with flavors/spices.
This is all about your preference.
I used cinnamon, nutmeg, and cloves.
I also added in some OJ concentrate.
The sky is the limit here. Use your imagination.
You want a thick smoothie type concoction.
This amount in the blender (aprox. 4 cups) did two jelly roll size pans.
[Keep in mind how many shelves you have in your oven.]

Line a cookie sheet with a thick saran wrap. (I used Glad Press n Seal)
[Make sure you tape down excess wrap on ends,
if it falls into the fruit puree, it won’t dry.]
Pour the fruit and smooth to 1/4″ thickness. (spatula, shake, and gently bounce)
Bake in oven at 160 degrees for approximately eight hours.
I like doing it right before I go to bed.

When it’s done, I let it cool.
Then, cut the whole leather in half vertical
(cut straight up the middle from the long side of pan)
and then each half in about 6 rolls vertically.
Roll each individual from the middle so the excess plastic wrap
on the short ends of the pan can be used to seal the roll shut.
Then I store them in a plastic ziplock/tupperware.

I Got Two Dogs by John Lithgow

I Got Two Dogs by John Lithgow
My rating: 5 of 5 stars
View all my reviews

Here is what you all didn’t even know that you were waiting for: the inaugural “Good Reads for Kids by Kids” post. I am excited to share my kids’ reviews for their favorite books. Reading is one of our favorite forms of entertainment. I love kids lit! I love the fun illustrations. I love the simplicity of topics. I especially love the fact that they teach really good life lessons in a way that keeps not just the interest of children but of every age group .

Caroline and I go to the library once a week. She picks out about twenty books and then LG and I each take a turn every other night reading three to her before bed. We have done this with all our kids and consequently they all love to read. I personally believe the most influential thing a parent can do for the kids education is to read to them. So far, so good. Our kids are smart.

At the library on Tuesday I was excited to find a book by John Lithgow. I love him as an actor and so I had high hopes. The cover looked like it could be a winner. Yeah, I judge books my their covers all the time.

LG got to read on Tuesday and so when I snuggled in with Caroline last night I wasn’t surprised that even though Daddy had already read it with her, out of her twenty choices, she wanted to read Lithgow’s book with me again. When that happens it means she really likes the book.

We read it together and I also loved it. It’s fun. It’s funny. The illustrations are great. It keeps your interest with the catchy rhymes. Then, as if I needed an additional selling point, Caroline asked me if we could listen to the CD. Dad had promised.

Oh my goodness, I fell in love with John Lithgow all over again. What a fun and catchy song! Kids can listen to the song and use the book to help them with their sight reading. It’s genius.

If you need any more selling points:

1- The book is about dogs. All kids love dogs.

2- The book can be used for a great comparison lesson. How are the two dogs the same? How are they different?

3- The book could be turned into a really fun skit or puppet show.

4- Kids can participate with the well placed OOOOOO’s.

I give the book 5 stars. Caroline on the other hand gives it 6. Six out of five.

Check it out. I didn’t rig it. If you watch the video from this morning all the way through, you’ll hear her grade the book for yourself.

I am thinking about re-posting her with the CD and book in a few days. I am pretty sure she will be able to sing every single word to the song. The real bonus will be that she will probably also be able to sight read every single word in the book too.

Nicely done John Lithgow. Nicely done. Although I do kind of feel sorry for those other 19 books from the library this week. I don’t think they will get half as much attention.

Whole Foods Journey {vlog}

Here is your simple tip for the day in case you don’t feel like watching the 6 minute vlog.

One simple change years ago helped me to incorporate whole foods into my family’s diet.
Little changes over a long period of time make a big difference.

9-17-13

I have this itch to write and I don’t really want to blog. Yeah for the diary feature! Life is good. It’s really good, but isn’t it funny that it is all in the attitude? Happiness is a choice as so eloquently communicated in one of my favorite books Man’s Search For Meaning by Holocaust Survivor Victor Frankl. Loved that book. The more life I have lived the more I realize that the mind is either a powerful tool for happiness or a mean cruel prison for misery. Right now my mind is doing good and I am really happy. Thank you mind of mine.

I’m listening to this constant play on youtube of JJ Heller. I love JJ. Listening to her always reminds me of the great women’s group I attended at Cokesbury Methodist. Those ladies were my angels at a time in my life when I needed something that my church didn’t have to offer…a 12 step group for Codependency. What a beautiful time that was in my life. Painful but beautiful. Funny the song Your Hands just came on and it said, “that you would take my pain away” and He did. That’s why it was beautiful. “When my heart is breaking I never leave your hands.”

So, the first exciting news is Abigail scored her first goal at a HS soccer game. I was sooooo happy for her. She won the game 1-0. Of course I was home cleaning the kitchen. She always scores when I am not there. I am beginning to think I should miss all her games from now on. NEVER! Last night I got really emotional as I remembered that I had prayed specifically for Abigail to be able to let go of her anxieties and play to her fullest capability. My prayer had been answered. I immediately said another prayer of gratitude.

Funny sidenote about Abigail. We always read all her texts and LG found one really inappropriate one the other day. It had something to do with a boy talking about her nice legs and honey. I’ll just leave it at that. From now on we are going to tease her and call her honeylegs. One really good thing about Abigail is that she has straight A’s so far this school year. She seems to have figured out being organized and getting all her assignments turned in.

Sophia went to her first volleyball practice last Friday and she really loved it. It is one of the best parental privileges to see your kids find their element. I hope she will continue to shine on the court. I want to get her back into art class, but can’t justify the expense right now.

Bella insists that she ONLY wants to play softball from now on. It also makes me smile. She fell in love this Spring. I am so happy that Bella got a teacher that is perfect for her. She loves Mrs. McManus and I feel God really looked out for us this with this placement this year.

We started piano with all the girls. I hope it will stick. One of Abigail’s soccer friends was over a few weeks ago and when her dad came to pick her up he highly encouraged us to teach the girls the basics and promised me that just 5 minutes a day of practice for them would make a really big difference in their lives. I just felt like it was finally time for LG and I to get to work on teaching the kids. We have talked about it for a long time, but never follow through. It is kind of ridiculous that we both play and aren’t passing the talent along. So, we came up with a simple plan. Either LG or I are teaching all 4 girls at the same time on Sundays for a quick 5 minute lesson. They are then expected to practice for 5 minutes during homework time every day. We will hold a recital every Sunday before the next lesson. Whoever masters the song the best gets a prize. The girls were excited about it this last Sunday and I hope we have started a rich tradition that will last. So far, Sophia seems to take the most interest and enjoys playing always taking way longer then 5 mins. Abigail already had a little piano some years back and with her violin and choir it comes to her easy. Bella though has the hardest work ethic so we could have a good three way battle here. The most fun part is seeing 4-year-old Caroline try to fake along.

Caroline has some musical talent. This past Sunday she played some of the right notes, but sang the whole song perfectly as she played. Last year at one of Abigail’s choir concert the music director gave the pitches to the kids on stage and Caroline belted them all out in perfect pitch. It was kind of embarrassing but also totally awesome. We often talk about getting Caroline into dance, acting and singing. She belongs on Broadway.

Today I took Caroline and Shyloh (the neighbor girl I babysit) to the library. They had a fun puppet theatre in the corner and Caroline was LOVING it. Storytelling is her element.

LG and I had a rough week last week as he was withdrawing and kind of down and I get super impatient and frustrated when he is like that. Our Friday marriage counseling session was super productive and it made me happy. We had a really great Sunday night just connecting after the counselor reprimanded us and told us to always pray and then spend at least 30 minutes every night of connecting time. I felt really close to LeGrand as we took the time to just talk and I was so grateful for the progress we’ve been making, especially in communication and emotional intellect.

We went up to Squaw Peak on Friday night. It was fun to just get away and look over the valley trying to figure out which street was which. There were two 20 something kids up there. They were sitting on the wall in front of their bullet bikes drinking beer. One chucked his bottle down the mountain. It upset both LG and I. We had just a few minutes as the only people up there. It was nice.

I had a great experience at church on Sunday with one of my primary kids. I was able to calm him down from his initial state of borderline hysterical. After about 20 minutes of distracting him with my iPad, he was able to participate. During class I took him out in the hall for just a minute and had a heart to heart with him. I told him I loved him and that he could trust me and that he could tell me anything. His parents had told me that he had been acting really upset for a couple of weeks. I asked him a couple of questions and then felt the distinct inspiration that he was just experiencing typical kindergarten anxieties and exhaustion. I asked him if school was making him tired. His emotions surfaces and I was able to give him a pep talk. It was awesome. It made me happy for my calling.

Tonight LG and I were laughing that he is always in the leadership callings. He doesn’t feel like he is a good leader. I told him that the Lord was going to keep calling him as a leader until he believed he was good at it. LG didn’t say it but I know he was probably thinking the same thing I was. Maybe the Lord will give me a leadership calling when I quit thinking I could handle it with ease. LOL I’m so prideful.

We are really happy in this home. We know though that the landlord wants to sell it. We hope something else will open up in our ward or she will wait to sell it until we can afford to buy it.

I had a thought this morning. God was really being very merciful for calling me home when he did. It hasn’t been easy for the last few months but I have really learned a lot and have enjoyed my motherhood more than ever. With Caroline going to kindergarten next year and me not getting pregnant this is kind of my last chance. I think it really took me surrendering to find the joy. He knew that.

Well I have to run and get Caroline in the bath. LG and I are going to try and play tennis for a half an hour when he gets home from YM so I need to have the kids totally ready for bed.

I need new running shoes. My legs were killing me on tonight’s run and that is always the tell-tale that I need to bite the bullet and buy the shoes. Unfortunately they will have to wait til my birthday. I might have to ride my bike solely til I can get my shoes for my birthday. Part of me is happy that I have been running for two whole years but the other part hates using her birthday money on running shoes. This will be the 3rd year in a row that all I get for my birthday is a pair of shoes! At the same time, I’ve never felt better. I am so happy with my running progress. Now the sugar-free is something I need to do better at; I wish I could find the motivation I had the first two weeks again. I really want to lose that 10 more pounds before my 40th birthday. I can’t believe I am going to be 40. I feel so old. I am my mother.

I’m really really really looking forward to going to the Diana Krall concert with LG next week. He loves her and I am so glad I bought the tickets before we went on vacation because there is no way we could afford it now. We will finally get our delayed 16 year anniversary date next week.

Your Kid Needs You To Fill in This Blank

I tell my kids I love them all of the time, but I rarely tell them them what I love about them. Honestly I hadn’t even thought about it until I just read this powerful post. {Trust me, you won’t regret hitting that link and taking the 60 seconds to read it} The post offers one simple suggestion that the author gleaned from another article. {Isn’t it funny how we bloggers just recycle all the good stuff over and over again?} This time the recycled goods is a jackpot of a fill in the blank for parents.

Now normally I wouldn’t welcome fill in the blanks. I swear that the blank state of my mind (not the blank line on the paper) was the real inspiration for the naming of the “fill in the blank”. I can’t tell you how many times in my life I stared down at a question on a test and silently screamed, “C’mon brain, fill in the *^$# blank! I know the answer is in there somewhere.” I guess I have finally arrived. It only took parenting for me to have a cinch of a “fill in the blank”. I can’t go wrong with this one.

Oh, so you didn’t click the link and now you are totally curious? O.k. I’ll tell you, you lazy-linkers, but trust me the other article says it much more articulately. All you have to do is say this to your kids: “I love to watch you _ _ _ .” [Fill in the blank with whatever applies.] See what I mean? It’s a parenting jackpot. You can’t go wrong.

I just went into my photos to find one appropriate for this post and I came up with all kinds of ideas.

“I love to watch you ride a skateboard.”

“I love to watch you blow bubbles.”

“I love to watch you hit your sister.” (O.k. maybe that one isn’t so good, unless you are raising future boxers and then it would be your own personal gem.)

The originally cited article tackled the difference between nightmare and great sports parents. It too is a great read even for the parents with non-athletic kids. Basically it communicates that kids don’t want to be critiqued, they want to be loved and supported. Don’t we all?

I remember one time after I pulled off a significant event at the kids’ school, my husband said to me, “I love watching you in your element.” I still tear up just thinking about him saying that and it was over a year ago. It made me over-joyous that he recognized my actions and affirmed them. With one simple sentence, he perfectly communicated that he was happy to be an integral part of anything I did even if it was just to watch from the sidelines.

Last Saturday while attending my 11-year-old niece’s soccer game I witnessed something really disturbing. A soccer coach belligerently took personal jabs at a 16-year-old referee. He told him he sucked and had no business reffing. He then said, “You have no social skills” among a myriad of other insults.

It’s one thing to tell the ref about a bad call you observed and another thing entirely to verbally abuse a person. Watching this out-of-control coach made me sick to my stomach. After the parents starting joining in too, I hollered from the goal-zone where I was sitting, “Chill out.” A few minutes later as the game ended, the coach walked down my direction and yelled at me to take my “chill out” and shove it. Oh, no he didn’t!! I stood up and called down all the powers of calm from the universe. I walked over to the coach who kept yelling at me to remove myself from his sideline. I calmly said, “I am just a mom here watching a game, I am not here to support either side but the side of the kids. You are being a very bad example to every kid out here. That referee can’t be a day over 16 and I am here to advocate for him.” The parents all started in on me about how bad of a job the ref did, how he is in a role of an adult so he can handle it, la la la. I didn’t even want to be that close to them, they made me sick. I said, “I’m not here to argue. I am just here to be a juvenile advocate”, and then I calmly walked away. On the outside I was a perfect picture of character, on the inside I was shaking like a leaf.

I couldn’t help but think how powerful it would be for every one of those maniacal adults to read the above article about nightmare parents. How sad it was for each of their kids to know that losing a game 6-0 could have the power to turn their parents into insulting and aggressive idiots. After that game not one of them could even tell their kids in honesty that they loved to watch them play because their cruel actions spoke way louder than their words.

Now, I am not here to peg me (the perfect parent) against them the non-perfect parents. We all have dark and light and my dark moment was just three weeks earlier when I railed into my fourteen-year-old after her soccer game for not playing to the best of her ability. As she walked with her dad to his car (to avoid me) after my good licking on the sideline, I felt like crap. I immediately called her and apologized but the damage had been done. We talked later with her and our other girls and they all told me they didn’t need my opinion about everything. I over-critique and they complained that I even over-compliment. The nerve! Ouch. They didn’t know exactly how to tell me, but what they really were saying is this: “Mom, all we want to hear is that you love to watch us play.” Thank you parenting article for making my duty clear and for giving me the right words. All I have to do is fill in one blank for the rest of my life. I can’t wait.

Counting Blessings In Awe

My list of blessings is so long that I need to purge it here to start all over again. This post is happening a lot sooner than my last one, I hope you don’t mind. I am always astounded with the happy affect on my heart when working at gratitude, but in the past couple of weeks I have been completely in awe at the goodness of people and the goodness of God. I don’t think it is coincidental that many of our needs have been met when only we knew what they were.

Well, at first others knew our needs because I had posted about them. Several friends responded to my last counting. I had an old friend from high school contact me via Facebook and offer up an old nonworking iPhone for us to use as screen replacements. She mailed it from California and insisted I didn’t reimburse her. I am still waiting on the hubby to do the phone surgery but Misty’s generosity melted my heart.

Another old friend who is a pharmacist, after reading my last post, contacted me via Facebook to offer up advice on getting affordable prescriptions.

I had a super special experience with my sister-in-law the day that I posted last. She showed up on my doorstep with her arms full of produce from her garden and a few bags of food and non-food items that she had gotten cheap/free with coupons. I felt kind of bad thinking she was just responding to my desperation from the blog but she hadn’t even read it (or so she says).

I did a good job of not completely bawling, but I couldn’t hold back all the tears. It’s just so humbling to let other people support me. The only thing that makes it bearable for me is knowing that I am doing what God wants and they are just his little angels on earth.

Jill and Logan have been truly inspired in their generosity. In that first bag were things we really needed: deodorant, tissues, foods for the kids lunches, etc. On Saturday they took our kids for an adventure and even let them pick something out for themselves at the store. What a big deal for kids who are being forced to live so frugally. This mom can’t contain her emotions. I have to force myself not to think about it or I will just sit in cry in gratitude all day.

A friend from church offered up a bag-full of Hot Pockets that her kids wouldn’t eat. They have been a great reprieve from the foods I have been forced to cook from scratch and a huge treat for our kids.

The 5th was payday but because of the Labor Day holiday and an absentminded payroll employee LG didn’t get paid until the 6th. I had been anxiously anticipating the paycheck on the 5th to fill our empty refrigerator. A huge blessing came through: the check to pay me for the job I took babysitting came in the mail on the 5th. I texted a picture of it to LeGrand and said, “Dinner just arrived.” I think even LG had a moment of emotion with that coincidence. He hates seeing me sacrifice and stress over what to feed our family.

LG’s work had a great summer party where our whole family got to go and swim at a local pool for free. Dinner was also free and delicious. We had so much fun swimming after sunset in the dimly lit resort-style pool. For a little bit it was just our little family in the HUGE pool. It’s a memory I will never forget.

Our marriage counselor challenged LG and I to have three sessions of 30 minute activity a week TOGETHER. It is a tough challenge with our busy schedules but by doing it LG and I have had more stress relief and I have found a new respect for my man. He is an amazing coach. I loved him teaching me how to free-throw. The day he took off ahead of me on the bike trail was also a surprising turn-on. I also really enjoyed playing tennis with him a few days ago.

I got two messages from friends on Facebook that were super sweet and touching. One was from a cousin citing how impressed she was with my running time. It made my day. The other was from an old friend just to tell me that he really enjoyed seeing the photos from our Wills family reunion. The moment he took to write and send his simple message reminded me of some great memories this friend shared with our family. They brought a smile to my face. Sometimes the most simple actions mean so much.

A friend shared with me a way that I could make some money from home. It hasn’t panned out, but the fact that she believes in my writing was an honor I will never forget.

My neighbor brought over some clothes her daughter had outgrown. They were perfect for Caroline this Fall.

Another neighbor (the same who gave me all the pears last time) singled me out at church and told me to come and get all the peaches I wanted from her trees. I canned them all up on Saturday and have 30 quarts to get us through the winter. I wish I would have picked more but I guess I shouldn’t hog all the blessings for myself.

A dear friend of both LG and I (he was LG’s mission companion and my district leader on our LDS missions) published his most awesome book. I really loved The Crown and the Dragon. It’s only $5 on the kindle and I highly recommend it. I would have loved it without knowing the author, but I have to admit that having my name in the acknowledgements makes the book that much cooler for me. The blessing isn’t in the book, but it was in the fact that this friend came to peddle it at the SLC ComicCon. Our friend got us in for free and it was such a great get-away for LG and I. Thanks John!!!

Another neighbor gave me a whole bag of homegrown tomatoes.

This past Saturday our across the street neighbors showed up on our doorstep with a whole plate of leftover pizza. It was the really good kind with super thick crusts. They had no way of knowing that on Friday I had spent my last $30 on a few necessities. I was staring down a overwhelming weekend of cooking without a lot of my normal ingredients. In a situation like that a plate of pizza seems too good to be true. I will be smiling about that pizza until payday on Friday.

Last but not least, my brother took our three older girls with him to see his son’s soccer game on Saturday. On his way home unbeknownst to us they stopped for lunch. Our kids came home so happy. One of them said, “Man, that place was so good. We haven’t been out to eat in a month.”

LG and I were talking last night about how it has been six months since he was called as the YM President in our ward. When the Bishop extended the call to LG I had just quit my job with the plan to move to a cheaper apartment to make up the difference in our budget. We felt strongly that God really wanted this calling for LG and took a huge leap of faith and stayed in our current home so that LG could serve praying that God would work it out. Six months later we are in awe that God hasn’t just worked it out but has blessed us abundantly for our faith.

Living this experiment of relying on God and doing what he tells me even though I have no idea how it will work out makes me wish that everyone else could do it too. Going without more has made me happy for every little thing I receive. Everything is so magnified and blessings aren’t just blessings but manna from heaven. Is there anything better than manna from heaven? I can’t think of anything especially if it comes in the form of peaches, produce, and Pizza Hut.

Sunday Pin: The Lower Lights

Today at church we had a mission farewell. Another young man in our congregation will be leaving his family for two whole years to preach the gospel of Jesus Christ this time to Guatemala. The missionary program of my church is pretty miraculous. This young man and eight other members of his family sang a beautiful rendition of Brightly Beams Our Father’s Mercy. I love the hymn and they had gorgeous four part harmony.

It sounded about like this but with a lot fewer voices.

Don’t you just love those lyrics?

Brightly beams our Father’s mercy
From his lighthouse evermore,
But to us he gives the keeping
Of the lights along the shore.

[Chorus]
Let the lower lights be burning;
Send a gleam across the wave.
Some poor fainting, struggling seaman
You may rescue, you may save.

Dark the night of sin has settled;
Loud the angry billows roar.
Eager eyes are watching, longing,
For the lights along the shore.

Trim your feeble lamp, my brother;
Some poor sailor, tempest-tossed,
Trying now to make the harbor,
In the darkness may be lost.

I would have never thought of this song as a good song to send a missionary out to the field with, but WOW, how powerful it was to think of this hymn in the perspective of a missionary being a lower light.

Speaking of missionaries, check out these musical geniuses. LG and I both LOVE this rendition. I do enjoy how Mormons love music.

I want to be a lower light. I want to rescue and save all the struggling seaman wherever they may be. I will trim my feeble lamp and I will go forward knowing God can work miracles with my teeny little lamp.

And I can’t think of the lower lights without thinking of one of my favorite music groups The Lower Lights. They combine my love for southern gospel and Mormon missionaries. Enjoy. This song better be sung at my funeral someday.

This was a great concert; I’m glad I got to be there in person.

African Proverb: The Village

In the past week my eyes have been opened to the fact that it is wonderful to belong to a church family.
In four different moments I had a deep sense of love for my neighbors and gratitude for my village of residence.

The first was during last week’s Relief Society (my church’s female organization) activity. We had the most fun back-to-school themed activity where we had workshops about lifelong learning, community volunteering, healthy lunches, and teacher’s gifts. After the great informative classes taught not by experts but by my fellow church-going women who studied and shared knowledge (thank you Pinterest) we had a fun recess and lunch. The ladies shown below made me laugh with their hairnets and it was just so enjoyable to sit and chat with other women while eating a cafeteria style lunch.

Then on Saturday we had a pretty big storm and a neighbor posted on Facebook that they had a large fallen limb threatening to crush their fence. By the time we got to the house to help the limb was not only dislodged but cut into pieces. Ten others had showed before us and working alongside them felt like a sacred privilege.

Bella was really sad that for the third year in a row she wasn’t going to have a grandparent at grandparent’s day. She is sensitive like that and I wanted to be accommodating. My parents live four hours away and my in-laws live across the country. Lucky for me she has a special relationship with one of her previous primary leaders. When I called to ask Joyce if she would be willing to be Bella’s adopted grandparent she said, “It would be my privilege.” I hung up the phone with tears in my eyes.

Later that day while walking through the neighborhood I saw two home-teachers out not just doing their home-teaching but going the extra mile and changing a starter in the car of a single mom. I got a lump in my throat and turned back to take a picture. I just knew that I had to share the joy of living among like-minded neighbors who all look out for each other.

I am so blessed to live in a pretty great village. Now, how do I get those home-teachers for when my transmission gives out? Just kidding. Kind of.

I look forward to sharing more African Proverbs. I’ve added a menu up top inspired by this query on pinterest. I hit the jackpot on wisdom on Pinterest and in my choice of neighborhoods.

After I prepared for this post on Tuesday with the above pin, I went to pick up my girls from their activity at church and discovered that our family had been blessed this week yet again. One leader covered for another leader in emergency and by herself she forged through the originally planned activity. She single-handily did every one of these girls hair all pretty as promised. I have four daughters and I don’t think in my entire motherhood career I have done that much hair. The neighbors in my village are pretty phenomenal. I hope you are blessed with a village just like mine. If you aren’t, no matter where you are in the world, there is probably one just like them to be found at your nearest The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. By their fruits ye shall know them.

Saving Ourselves and I’m Not Talking about Premarital Sex

A while back our marriage counselor said this,

“There is nothing that will make an individual sexier than for them to take care of themselves instead of looking outside themselves to be saved.”

We were discussing my ability to stay under budget and something that my husband needed to do for himself – I can honestly say I have no recollection of what his homework was. That’s a good sign that I am rightly focusing on myself.

She continued, “Alice, you need to understand that when you are staying under budget, it is a real telltale sign to LG that he can trust you to take care of yourself. When you do what you need to do to be financially secure, he will look at you with a whole new-found respect.In fact you will not only be trustworthy but sexy.”

Last night I screwed up. I didn’t go over budget. Yeah for me! I did let my husband down by not really knowing what to do once he was vulnerable in telling me his fears. In fact I totally floundered.

I just sent him off an e-mail – sometimes communicating through writing is so much easier than words. I tried to apologize and I also tried to explain that I need to feel the security that he can take care of his own problems. After I hit “send” I went over to Pinterest wasting time until preschool starts this morning and this pin came up.

This says exactly what I was trying to say in about 300 words less than I did. It also spoke to me as if from my husband. Ofttimes I go directly into save mode when people don’t need saving. I have a huge flaw in thinking that everyone needs saving and I mean EVERYONE. I can’t fathom the idea that people can actually manage their own lives. This incorrect principle at my very core makes it very hard for me to have healthy relationships with people.

Saving ourselves is so much more empowering than waiting for others to save us and yes it’s even sexy. If I can convince myself that the only person I need to save is me then my job responsibility just went down by 99.9%. When I look at it that way saving myself seems simple. I’ve gotten a lot better at saving myself. I now just need to learn how to not only let other people save themselves but also how to best support them while they do. It’s a whole new world that I am navigating.

Sugar-free No-Bake Cookies

Here is an old family favorite that I altered in my attempts at clean eating. They turned out pretty good.

1/4 cup butter
1 1/2 cups of honey
1/2 cup milk
3 Tablespoons cocoa
1 cup all-natural peanut butter
3 cups oats
1 tsp vanilla

Combine butter, honey, milk, cocoa, and peanut butter in a medium saucepan and bring to boil on a medium high heat. Add oats and vanilla. Mix well and spoon onto parchment paper. Let cool.

Enjoy.