Climbing Trees and A Nosy Mom

We were at soccer practice on Monday night and Sophia and Bella automatically started asking me to help them climb the tree. The girls all love the trees that line the fields. The trees are the perfect size for them to climb, they just need a boost up to the first branch.

I boost Sophia up and tell Bella that she can have her turn in five minutes. Meanwhile, I start chatting with the other soccer parents while simultaneously keeping my eye on Abigail in the field, Bella in her camp chair, and Phia in the tree.

Out of the corner of my eye, I spot a mom from the other field walking over in our team’s direction. She walks right up to me and says in an ever so nosy way, “Um, your kids aren’t supposed to climb the trees.”

“Oh, really, according to whom?” I reply with a “leave me a alone” tone. “Well, the soccer board members will get on to you if they see your kids in the tree. They have made me get my kids down before.” I reply again with a dual tone of you are really bugging combined with I am going to try and be nice, “Thanks for letting me know. I appreciate your concern. I will be sure to get a little more concerned when the soccer board is around.” I smiled at her and she got the message and finally walked away.

HONESTLY! Do people just need to get a life or what? The other people around me agreed that my small kids climbing these trees are not a big deal. They are not going to do any damage and I have no plans to sue if they fall.

Meanwhile, LG shows up after work and I tell him about the annoying conversation. He, of course, reacts totally obediently and says to me, “Alice, we probably shouldn’t let them climb. The soccer league probably has a contract with the school….blah blah blah…legal jargon, blah.” I cut him off, “LG, you and the soccer league are ridiculous. They are trees. They are kids and this is a park.” LG trails off with, “Well, they have to protect their liability….blah blah” I intentionally tune him out, go and get Sophia out of the tree and boost Bella up for her turn.

I got Bella down five minutes later and told LG that Sophia and I were going home to get dinner and a Family Home Evening lesson ready.

So, we get into the bath/dinner rush and then all sit down to eat. LG says ever so authoritarianish….”I have an announcement. Our family will no longer be climbing trees at the soccer field.” I start into my nagging about the tree/kid thing. LG cuts me off and says, “Alice, a soccer league board member came over after you left and said that THAT lady had called him. The board member announced to our whole team, ‘That lady (what he should have said is: THAT nosy mom) said that a woman was letting her two children climb the tree and that she DARED a board member to stop her. I am here to stop her.’

I started cracking up! I asked, “Did you tell Doug that it was me?” The board members all know us because we have coached for the past 3 years. LG sighed and said, “No, of course not. I am not taking the slack for you. In fact, at the next practice you need to thank all of the other parents, they didn’t say a word.”

I then said, “I can’t believe that Doug came down there to get a kid out of the tree. C’mon, LG, you know you agree, that lady and the board members need to get a life. You guys should have all told him it was me, and you should have handed him your phone to call me, or better yet, brought him to the house. I am not afraid of them. In fact, if we have to quit the soccer league so that I can just go to the park and let my kids climb the trees, we will.” Can you tell I am feisty? I then got even more fired up. “What is up with that lady. Seriously, she needs to get a life! What is she? Some wannabe hall monitor?”

LG nods towards the listening children and then repeats ever so calmly, “Like I said kids, our family will no longer be climbing the tree.” And yes, if they end up in jail someday, whose fault is it going to be? Mr. Obedient or Mrs. Rule Breaker?

But, really, they are trees and kids…I just don’t get people.



  1. All I can say is that story is hilarious!!! I’ve been tempted a few times throughout motherhood to call in the “authorities” on someone who I think is endangering their kids…but honestly the soccer board and tree climbing. Give me a break!

  2. what a lame lady. Does she have too much time on her hands or what?! I can see how the soccer board wouldn’t want to be liable or whatever-because unfortunately some people will do ANYTHING for money–but we all know you are not like that. I really have strong feelings towards people like that lady. nosy people!!

  3. Now see, my kids would love you because I don’t let them climb the trees at soccer. Mostly because a couple of seasons ago there was a child who was always there at the same time as my kids who was Mr. Destruction and he would try to break branches and beat on the trees and I didn’t want my kids picking up his habits. Plus his own parents NEVER watched him, so I usually was the one getting after him before he got injured (or injured one of my kids!)Anyway — never heard of the soccer board thing, but maybe because of destructive kids (such as the one I have mentioned), no kids are allowed to climb. I just have to smile thinking of you and LG and your different points of view…:) You rule breaker! πŸ˜‰

  4. So what is the difference between these trees and taking your kid to the local Elem school to play on the swings? I am totally on your side. If they wanted me to sign a waiver so I wouldn’t sue, I’d sign it. But they don’t give that option do they… idiots. Let the kids be kids.

  5. Did you take the picture of Phia before or after tree nazi? It’s a gorgeous photo. Tell Phia to do a bunch of dangerous cartwheels instead, or something unruly like that. You’re so funny.

  6. I admire the moms who are a little more relaxed! The worst that happens is someone comes along and asks you to stop. Who cares?I have to say, however, I totally went off on a couple of skateboarders who keep skating down the drainage ditch that is on part of my back yard yesterday…. and reported a couple who put an “illegal” hot tub in their yard. I’m the neighborhood bylaws nazi!Don’t judge me. I just like my home value to move in one direction and that’s up.

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