Funny

Family Dance Night

Do you remember this ancient post about the family staying up all night to dance.
We couldn’t afford to go to Chuck E Cheese and so we pulled out the old records.

Well now we can afford to go to Chuck E. Cheese but I believe I would rather
travel back in time and do this all over again.
I finally figured out how to post the video and these are so cute.
The girls have grown so fast but I am pleased to report that they still giggle just the same.
And they still think they can dance.

It started out slow. Very Lawrence Welk feeling slow.

Then we moved on to Bob Dylan’s song on banjo.
Dad does some tapping and at the end the baby has to join in.

More with dad and baby. Puff the magic dragon.

Then dad goes a little crazy.

A little Beverly Hillbilly’s. We were in TN after all.
We have some underwear malfunctioning.
This is when I hope that no sickos have found the blog.
But, if you sickos have found us, make sure you watch this one through
to see the man you will contend with if you come within 50 feet of our daughters.
And then know that I am about 800% more ferocious.

Now dad kindly introduces the two-step to our flapper girls.
Has anybody seen our girls?

And if you’ve been the loyal watcher,
you will be happy for this finale.
One final laugh for us all.

Good times. Good times.

Squashed Dinner Plans

Experts say that eating meals together as families have all kinds of benefits for everyone.
This article on CNN recently sited some of the best reason to eat dinner together.

1- Supper can be a stress reliever.
2- Kids might learn to love their veggies.
3- It’s the perfect settings for new foods.
4- You control the portions.
5- Healthy meals mean healthy kids.
6- Family dinners help kids “just say no”
7- Better food, better report card.
8- Put a little cash in your pocket.

Recently, I tried out a new recipe for butternut squash soup. Shannon had served it at lunch and I enjoyed it so much I decided to make some for the family. You can find a close recipe here.

It was delicious. I slaved over it for hours. We sat down to dinner and everyone was instantly opposed to eating orange soup. Even my hubby wasn’t too keen on the idea. He spooned it away and tried to pretend he loved it, but he wasn’t fooling anyone.

So much for dinner being the perfect setting for trying new foods. CNN, you lie! My kids weren’t learning to love their veggies that night. Everyone was more stressed. I hope it won’t cause the girls to come home with bad report cards too.

I sat and enjoyed the soup while everyone else helped themselves to cereal. I gave a good sized take-home portion to our handyman who just happened to stop in at dinner to come to look at the furnace. He’s a healthy kind of guy and was gracious. So gracious I thought about trading my family in for a second.

CNN, I would like to take this moment to give you a true benefit of butternut squash soup.
It’s called “mom’s gourmet lunch all to herself the next day.”

And that my friends is how you make
lemonade out of lemons
or
soup out of squash.
Whichever you prefer.
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ROFL

I have funny friends.
They make my facebook world wondrous.
Here are some great shares from this morning.
They are telling about American life.
 Even American Chinese food isn’t always safe.
 Health departments nationwide
are having an influx of crazies and marital strife.
Cookie monster says get your own job
and pay for your own cookies.

Funny Politics

Dear Mitt Romney,
I know I helped you last time,
even though you never acknowledged it.
Not only did I tell 
about my support,
but I gave you a whole whoppin $10
which I am sure was used ever so wisely,
seeing as how you can still
afford to campaign a second time around.
But since 2008,
I have become disenchanted with US politics.

So please tell your family members to stop
e-mailing me to ask me for money.
Thank you very much,
I’mSoFunnyatPolitics

I have always loved political cartoons.
Here are a few more current.
You can call these political photo pins.

This is a picture of one of the oldest politicians.
How he got his head up there upside down is beyond me.
Maybe it was decapitated by his constituents and then shoved back up.

Please feel free to share your funniest joke at any politician’s expense.

Guest Post – Jarrett Ferguson Gold – Are Blondes Really Dumb?

It is against my better judgement to publish Jarrett’s jibberish, but when a family member actually takes time to write something, you can’t very easily turn it down, can you?

For the stories sake, you need to know.
I am Alice.(just in case you are blonde and have no idea who this blog belongs to)
LG is my husband.
Jarrett is LG’s cousin.

Jarrett is a liar, or maybe I should say that in a nicer way? Jarrett is a story-teller. He learned it from the best of the best, and it’s the very reason we get along so swell…just as soon as we worked out his hurt feelings over MY honeymoon in his backyard! Yes, my whole honeymoon was spent with my husband’s family. Can you believe we are still married? Apparently sleeping in your in-laws basement and your in-law’s in-law’s Winnebago is good luck for the long life of marriage. Who knew?

On with the guest post. All about blondes. And me. You can just disregard the part about me because it’s all lies. LIES!!! Yes, the owner of the blog gets the last word Jarrett.

The picture on facebook that started it all.
Jarrett: “Perfect corn maze for my dear sweetheart!”

Jarrett and his beautiful blondies



Is it true? Are blondes really dumb?

I’m not sure where the rooting of the blonde jokes comes from but there are some that do take the analysis seriously. Wikipedia link

I really never took it all that seriously. And based on my experience, being married to a blonde woman with blue eyes I never really thought of my wife as a dumb blonde. Oh sure there’s the occasional joke like the above referenced picture but she takes it well and knows I mean no harm by it.

Here’s a question: If she gets her hair highlighted, and the roots touched up, does that really make her a true blonde? It’s hard to tell anymore. The $100 Hundred dollar visits to the hair dresser drive me a bit crazy but she does have blue eyes naturally and was blonde as a child. I think most blondes grow up to eventually be browns anyways unless artificially maintained. IS that because they do get smarter as they get older?

As I ponder this infinitely eternal question of “Are blondes really dumb?” I can think of a lot of conflicting data. My sister is not a blonde. We used to call her an “ink head.” She was meant to be blonde but God dropped ink on her head instead. I love my sister, she’s a sweetheart, and as I get older I feel ashamed for the trauma that me and my two brothers likely caused her. We called her fat, dumb, lazy, and many other mean and cruel things. In the end, she turned out to become a really great person despite her horrible childhood with 3 awful brothers! She’s one of the sweetest most patient persons on the planet. She’s still a bit air-headed but she really does know a lot more than she lets on.

I’ve known LG longer than Alice has known LG. LG was very blonde as a child. AND he’s a very smart guy. His wife Alice on the other hand is not blonde and I would find the words flakey, flighty, or spastic to adequately describe Alice. I’ll never forget the first time I met Alice….or, was it just the sound of her voice I heard?

I had just gotten home from my 2 year Mormon mission from Spain. LG and I hadn’t seen each other in about 3 years due to the overlap of our missions. LG and Alice got married just a few days prior to my homecoming. LG and Alice got the honeymoon suite out in the backyard since they had recently taken vows! We’re talking deluxe accommodations for privacy. The Winnebago had a sign placed on the door, “If it’s a rocking don’t come a knocking!”

Being a recently returned Mormon missionary I had no qualms about knocking on a door and disturbing someone! Besides, I wanted to catch up with my dear friend and family member LG. Share my mission stories and hear some of his mission stories!

I certainly didn’t want to enter “their space” so LG and I took our conversation in the house. We’d been talking for maybe a ½ hour or so when we hear: “LG – WHERE ARE YOU? GET OUT HERE AND MAKE ME A HAPPY WOMAN!”

I was floored when I saw/heard this. I just wanted to catch up with my cousin who I hadn’t seen in 3 years and she’s yelling and carrying on like this after he’s been gone for 30 minutes?!! I asked: “What kind of NEEDY woman did you marry LG?”

When he replied it all made sense to me: “I married a sister missionary from my mission.” I offered my congratulations and condolences and LG went on to carry out his newly found and soon to be mastered husbandly duties.

So now were back to the original question: Are blondes really dumb?
I can’t say that I’ve done any scientific research, I can just think of two brunettes that exhibit blonde like qualities in the form of my sister and my cousins wife. Both of which are very sweet and awesome women!
In the end I know that my blonde wife can’t be all that dumb – after all, she did marry me!

J. Ferguson Gold

A couple of funny blonde jokes:
  1. A dumb blonde was really tired of being made fun of, so she decided to dye her hair to look like a brunette.When she had brown hair, she decided to take a drive in the country.After she had been driving for a while, she saw a farmer and a flock of sheep and thought,“Oh! Those sheep are so adorable!”She got out and walked over to the farmer and said,“If I can guess how many sheep you have, can I take one home?”The farmer, being a bit of a gambler himself, said she could have a try.The blonde looked at the flock and guessed, “157.”The farmer was amazed – she was right! So the blonde, (who looked like a brunette), picked one out and got back into her car.Before she left, the farmer walked up to her and said.“If I can guess the real color of your hair, can I have my dog back?”
  1. The assistant asked the blonde if she would like her pizza cut into six pieces or twelve.“Six please” she said, “I could never eat twelve!”
  1. A blonde asked someone what time it was, and they told her it was 4:45. The blonde, with a puzzled look on her face replied,“You know, it’s the weirdest thing, I have been asking that question all day, and each time I get a different answer.”

Dam Post

Here are the photos
straight from my camera
in July.
They present our trip in July
back from California.

For some dam funny stuff,
read more.

I couldn’t get my little whimpy camera
to capture this sight.
This road climbs elevation
and almost looked like it
was in route to heaven.
And remember,
I am an expert on heaven.
Just check out my klout,
it doesn’t lie.

Oh no an excess of water,
what are they going to do about it?

What was that C3p0?
Build a dam?
Or is that the eye of God talking
that Abigail made in 5th grade?

Is building a dam the best idea?
Dam straight.

And then we can name everything after it.
What a great idea.

I really hated to drive on 
when I knew it meant I was going
to have to miss 
the dam jam.
I wish I had some money here.
Or in any dam bank account.

Definitely the most touristy trap place ever.
When LG and I stopped to use their restrooms,
we both ran to our gender appropriate lou’s.
And I chuckled as I could hear LG’s peeing through the wall.
That was dam funny.

Watch out for the chocodiles.
I believe they are at least 2 dam years old.

Have a fabulous dam day.

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And once again,
if you chuckled,
even once,
feel free to like my blog on facebook
on the sidebar,
or hit a share link below
to help me get some more readers.

Thanks to you so dam much
for being a reader.
I love you more than any other dam thing.

Quite possibly the funniest photo of all time.

Go here for a real good laugh.

If you liked this, please come back
and become my 139 or 140th facebook liker.
You can even do it with one click on the sidebar.

Pretty please with sugar on top.

There may or may not be a prize involved.

And never make the mistake of leaving your cup on when the photographer shows up.
Or if you do, please share the result with the rest of us so we can laugh at you like you’re an idiot.

If fashion can make me laugh: I’m in.

Fashion: I don’t get it.
I have a friend who runs this fashion blog.
Every day it astounds me that people
actually put clothes on and take pictures of themselves.
Sometimes multiple shots from different angles.
I guess it’s the wardrobe equivalent of me
blogging every detail about my life on this little thing we call the blog.

Well this morning Sheila turned me on to a post
that is funny and fashionable.
Go and check it out.
You will never look at your accessories the same.
Thanks Sheila.