Author: alicewgold

I would like to state that I am a brunette, but now I am a mix of grey, white, brown, and blonde. I would also like to say that I am 150 pounds, but that would be a boldfaced lie. How about I say I am work in progress because that is the truth? A beautiful work in progress. I love the sound of my fingers tapping on the keyboard and my greatest hope is that something that I write will lift someone else on their journey.

Again, HuckaBEe Gone

It looks like SNL must have been inspired by my Romney campaign slogan. No wonder why he wouldn’t listen to me months ago. I will give him a tidbit of credit for having a sense of humor though…that, or a really hip marketing specialist.

Funeral Processions

After getting an e-mail from Karie about a funeral procession that honored a fallen serviceman, Spc. James M. Kiehl, I decided to take Kristen’s advice (read it under the comments from my lemon post) and I googled the story. (Thank you for the forward Karie, I loved it)

I mostly googled it because I thought that the story was so sweet, I had to know if it was really true. Is there still such humanity in the world? According to the forwarded e-mail, it occurred in TN, and I wanted to be so honored to be surrounded by these good people.

Here is what I read about on Snopes. (an amazing site where you can check the origins of internet garble) So, the touching story is true. Spc. James M. Kiehl was killed in action, and the people of his hometown really gave him a true hero’s goodbye. The community members lined the streets from the service to the cemetery, standing in total silence with their hands on their hearts and waving flags.

I would like to add my personal moment of silence in thanking Spc. James M. Kiehl for his ultimate sacrifice. How can one put in words the true gratitude they feel for their freedom that is won every day from the sacrifice of another family’s son/husband/brother/father?

Now, I would like to tear into the person who saw it fit to change the original e-mail. (which I am sure was not Karie) The part that so perplexes me was this sentence: “There is a lot to be said for growing up in a small town in Tennessee.” (compare this sentence to the original from the link above – “There is a lot to be said for growing up in a small town in TX”) This story didn’t take place in TN, but in TX. Why would anyone really feel the need to put their own state in there? As if this story wasn’t just as good if it happened in TX. I think that sometimes Tennesseans have a little bit of an inferiority complex. Can’t we all just be happy that the good people of TX can honor a man as good, if not better than us?

I know that the people of TX honored this man better than I did some person who was buried in Kingsport a few years ago. After reading Laura’s recent post about Southern traditions, I was reminded that I am not totally Southern. In fact, after I tell you the following story, you may wonder if my husband is either.

The first thing that came to mind after reading Laura’s post that if to be truly Southern, you have to appreciate the lack of sidewalks, I will never be Southern. I so miss sidewalks. In California people actually get out and walk, just for fun. You can’t do that here without worrying that someone will run you right over.

The other thing that Laura mentioned about being Southern is the ability to stop on the side of the road for any funeral procession. So, (Alice, focus, off soapbox, back to story) years ago LG and I decided to sneak away and catch a movie. It was a last minute decision and we found that a movie we wanted to watch was starting in just 15 minutes. It takes 10 minutes to drive from my in-laws to the theatre. We said goodbye to the fam and ran off. My in-laws live out in the country and you have to pass a cemetery on the way.

We were cruising along, glad to make it to the movie on time, when all of the sudden, we spotted a funeral procession ahead. There was a line of about 30 cars. Lucky for us, they were just turning into the cemetery, and they were lined up on the opposite side of the street. We thought and discussed that because they were so close to pulling in, we would be safe to just keep on our merry way. We thought very wrong. The front car (the hearse) decided that he needed to teach us a lesson. He yanked the wheel as to spin his car out in front of us while simultaneously flipping us the bird.

All I could think about was the poor deceased soul in back of the hearse. The decease’s driver seemed more concerned about these strangers on their way to what would be their only date in months than the person who may just come tumbling out of the back when he jerked the car like he did.

Now, you can all call me insensitive. And, LG and I both may need some lessons on funeral etiquette, but really, I don’t expect anyone to stop or get out of the way of the car that is taking me to my resting place. I especially hope that the driver of my hearse won’t pull out any offensive gestures in front of my posterity. Really, what good would it have done for us to just stop there? Did all of these people expect us to just stop in our tracks as they all so very SLOWLY pulled into the cemetery? It’s not like we needed to get out of their way.

I very much respect the deceased. May they all rest in peace! I have even volunteered beautifying cemeteries before, multiple times. I just don’t think that we have to pull off on the side of the road to show respect, and that, my brothers and sisters, makes me a Westerner. It is just so hard to give up that fast paced life sometimes. Really, when I am dead in a casket, I truly hope that strangers to me will go on living their lives as usual….especially if it means they don’t have to miss the previews!
And the quote of the day: You are alive. So live. ~ Tomi Miyasaki

Sophia Speaks

Sophia can by shy, although she is overcoming it a little at a time. Playing soccer has been great for Sophia, as well as her friend Allie, who I recently posted about.

The other morning, I took all the girls to their dentist, Dr Bo. (I will have to blog about Dr. Bo another day – LG always teases me that I have a crush on him – not true – but, he is just so cute with the kids – not to mention nice to me when they have cavities – Are there any other moms out there who just can’t forgive themselves when their kids have a less than perfect check up?)

Anyhow, on with the story. On the way from the dentist to the school, Sophia noticed that LG and I had not packed her a lunch. She started crying and begging me to take her home first, so that we could get her a lunch. I said, “Sophia, I don’t have time to go home, and they are having nachos at the school today and you like those. Just eat the nachos.”

This sentence again was replied with the saga, of which we’ve heard at least 10 times since the school year started. “But, mom, they always put chili on the nachos and I don’t like chili.” I replied the same way we always do, “Just tell the lunch ladies that you don’t want chili.” The thought of actually speaking to the lunch ladies was too much. Sophia started crying again. (This child must take after her father, I just don’t get her fear of people. It’s no wonder her father never formally proposed…that is just too much pressure!)

So, when we got to school, I decided that I was going to put an end to the nonsense. Sophia’s grade would be eating lunch in just 30 minutes. I told her that we were going to take a detour through the cafeteria to talk to the workers. She froze and planted her feet as to permanently attach her shoes to the piece of tile that is in the middle of the hall adjacent to the school’s office! I said, “Sophia, this is ridiculous. It is their job to feed you. You don’t have any problem asking me to tell every McDonald’s worker that you want katsup only. C’mon, I am going to show you how easy this is.”

I dragged her into the cafeteria where all the workers were sitting at their big table enjoying their last bit of a break before the kids came stampeding. There was no need to get their attention. All 8 workers were staring at me as I held Sophia in place. Sophia would not look anywhere but her feet and was squirming to get away. I said, “I am sorry to bother you, but this is my daughter Sophia. We just got done at the dentist and I forgot to pack her a lunch. Sophia loves nachos, but it a little nervous about asking you to leave the chili off. Is this something that someone could help her with today?”

Sophia was mortified. The head cafeteria worker didn’t quite get the seriousness of this situation. She stood and as she walked over in our direction, she replied, “We have to give her the chili, it is federal regulation.” (C’mon lady, work with me here.) I must have given her the perfect look of desperation. After staring Sophia and I down, she said, “But, we can put it on the side.” I said to Sophia, “Do you think you can ask this nice lady to put it on the side?”

Only silence followed. The lunch lady wised up and said to me, “Whose class is she in?” I told her. She said, “Don’t worry, we will help her today.”

I walked away, dragged by Sophia’s eagerness to escape. She was trying to keep her crying under control. I sat down with her as she tried to creep away. All I could do was hug her and tell her that I was trying to help her, not embarrass her. She kept repeating, “Just let me go to class, mom.”She finally broke my hold, and as she ran off to class, I hollered, “I love you Sophia, have a great day, and enjoy your nachos.”

I cried on the way home and called LG. I was plagued with the question as to whether or not this fiasco was even worth it. LG assured me that I did the right thing and told me that because I make Sophia face things that are so overwhelming, she will be better in the long run. For once, I didn’t totally believe him.

I was left wondering all day as the whether or not it was worth the trouble. After school, Sophia got in the car triumphantly. (I immediately thought to myself that I was the best mom in the world) I asked Sophia, “How did lunch go?”

Sophia replied, “It was great mom, they had a bunch of trays with the chili on the side already. I didn’t have to ask.” Well, I have to admit that this was wise of the lunch ladies (easier than staying on the lookout for the wreck of a kindergartner named Sophia), but I felt a little sabotaged. Where did the cafeteria workers leave my lesson? Didn’t they understand the depth of the execution?

A few days later, I took the kids to Wendy’s. (We love Wendy’s, here is another funny story about it.) As Sophia shouted from the back seat of the van that she wanted a hamburger with katsup only, I turned back and announced, “I am sorry Sophia, I am a little too shy, I don’t think that I can ask the Wendy’s worker for katsup only.” Sophia thought that was the funniest thing she had ever heard and responded with, “Mom , you always ask them for katsup only”, and almost as an afterthought she declared assuredly, “And, you are not shy.” After I ordered as directed, I reminded Sophia that talking to the lunch ladies should be as easy as it was for me to place that order. (Not that the additional pep talk would do any good, but a mother has to try)

Sometimes parenting is so futile. I guarantee that the next time we are going through the morning routine of, “For lunch you have a choice between teriyaki beef bites, peach and cottage cheese, or nachos…do you want to buy?” Sophia will automatically respond with, “I want to take, please.”

On a side note, because this post is about Sophia speaking: Sophia gave a talk in church today. She was so cute as she repeatedly said “The Dr. of Covenants”.

For LG

I hope you never change.
I like you just this way.
You are mine,
my best told secret.
I pray for all your dreams
to be achieved.
And when you get there,
you’ll still be mine.
I will remember you now.
And, somehow, I will love you more.

To the man of my dreams and the keeper of my heart.

Mac N Cheese Topic #1 – Staying Positive?

We started our More than Mac N Cheese mom’s brunch at the church a few weeks ago. I will give Cally 95% of the credit for the cute name of our “club” and 100% credit for the cute flyer above. My 5% comes from the fact that I was the one that got the ball rolling with, “C’mon Cally, think of something, I am thinking along the lines of More than….more than something like PB&J.”

Most people haven’t seemed to enjoy the name as much as Cally and I, but when it takes off nationwide, we’ll show them! 🙂

Anyhow, the brunch club is a way for the stay home moms to get together and talk about something besides which cartoons are the best and where to buy the best bargained clothes….o.k. it really is the whole point of the gathering to talk about stuff like that, but, hey, the perk is in the food….what’s better than mac n cheese? Just about anything when you are a mother of a toddler!

At the first brunch, we determined the monthly topics for the rest of the year. So feel free to give me feedback! If you can give me one good thing to say, I will seem smart and I won’t even have to waste precious blogging time researching the topic. Good plan, huh?

March’s theme: How to stay positive.

Well, obviously, this would not be my strength. My blog used to be subtitled “I’m a Cynical Housewife” FYI cynicism is the polar opposite of staying positive. My mom got upset with the word cynical in my blog title and I really have been trying to work on my crummy outlook on life, and so I changed my blog’s subheading a while back. Now, if you hadn’t noticed, I am just “not your ordinary” housewife instead of cynical. WOW, that little change on my blog has already made me so much more positive. (And if you haven’t heard, the new wave in blogging is to italics things when you are being sarcastic.)

So, now, the true reason for the post, the quote by Ronnie Shakes summarizes my current contribution for next month’s topic:

I was going to buy a copy of The Power of Positive Thinking and then I
thought: What the hell good would that do?

Do you think the ladies will be offended by the H-E- double hockey sticks? I can’t leave it out, that word just makes the quote so much better.

My 2 cents to add to the quote. Like Shakes, I don’t think we learn about being positive from reading a book. The thing that is the most helpful in keeping me positive: humor.

And they say that humor is rooted in tragedy. Wow, my life is looking more upbeat already.

The Edited Flu

Lori chronicled the flu of what seemed to be her whole blogroll. (that’s how bad this flu has been, or maybe there is some way we have all been passing it from between keyboards?)

Cally (if you link, scroll down to #2, couldn’t get the piknik post to work) inspired me to give you this edited picnik version of the flu at our house.

What does a woman do when she is supposed to rest, her husband is studying for the bar, and they cancel two days of school?

No prob…”Children, you have free reign of the TV, toys, and the snack cabinet. Yes, those 4 boxes of fruit roll ups are not only yummy, they will keep you alive and semi-healthy.” (If you add in the gogurts and dry cereal, they almost get every food group.)

Yes, they wore those pj’s for two days straight. Sophia has been really into keeping up with her new “days of the week” panties that she got for Christmas. Last night I told her that she needed to change out of her pj’s before she went to bed. This is what I hear Abigail exclaim from the bedroom, “Sophia, you are still wearing Wednesday.” This statement was echoed by Sophia in between her fits of laughter.

My mother-in-law will be so stunned…she thinks that I am the clean underwear nazi. I don’t know where she gets the notion, except for the fact that I always pack the girls double underwear when they go to her house. I once said to Faye, “I am not an underwear nazi, I only make them change their undewear daily. How often did your kids change their underwear?” She never did answer me.

We are now in the beginning stages of clean up. I have found at least 50 piles of wrappers that look just like this. Maybe we should clean up after the bar, what do you think?

The Cable Guy

LG was a little concerned when his pants felt a little tight this morning.

Maybe we should go on The Larry the Cable Guy diet.

He brags in this article that now that he is down 50 lbs, he is down a whole Olsen twin!

Yeah, that is funny!

Sidenote: he blames his initial weightgain on the pregnancy of his wife. Sorry honey….those babies just like to pack on the pounds. (If it makes you feel any better, I think that Larry the Cable Guy is sexy…I like a man with some meat)

The Sabbath

Deuteronomy 5: 14 14 But the seventh day is the sabbath of the Lord thy God: in it thou shalt not do any work, thou, nor thy son, nor thy daughter, nor thy manservant, nor thy maidservant, nor thine ox, nor thine ass, nor any of thy cattle, nor thy stranger that is within thy gates; that thy manservant and thy maidservant may rest as well as thou.

As Mormons, we take this scripture literally. We do not do anything on the Sabbath that requires others to work: eat out, shop, or any type of recreation. It is a frequent debate between members about how elaborate of a meal should even be made on a Sunday. Some people seem to think that even cooking a roast is too much work.

This strict Sabbath Day observence is sometimes hard for our children to understand. They understand that God has asked this of us in the Bible and our kids love God but, they just don’t get why no one else around them seems to care.

All of our kids have had to miss out on a lot of birthday parties, but none was as hard for me as the one that Allie celebrated last month. Allie is Sophia’s best friend. Allie is riot; we just love her. Sophia, being the shy kid that she is, just loves Allie; and Allie being as outgoing as she is, is a wonderful influence for Sophia. Sophia has proudly exclaimed repeatedly since the 2nd week of school that Allie is her best friend. I have never seen a happier child than Sophia when she brought home Allie’s birthday invitation to the ice-skating rink. My excitement for Sophia being able to participate in the simple joy of life we call the birthday party was shattered when I referred to the calendar and saw that it would take place on a Sunday.

So, what did we do? We took Allie out to McDonald’s after school on Friday instead. [ALL kids love McDonald’s] We blew out a candle in her kids’ meal hamburger and had ice-cream. Allie opened her gift and then, to pass time before we had to go back to meet her mom, we walked around K-mart and got some clearance Christmas candy. I guess this made an impression enough because yesterday when I took the girls back to this K-mart that we don’t frequent, all Sophia and Bella could talk about was the day that we had brought Allie there. “Remember, this is where Allie hid. This is where we chased Allie. This is where we found the candy that we got with Allie.”

So, I guess I dodged another birthday party bullet. Phew.

On another Sabbath day note:

On Sunday night, LG went to the Stake Bishopric training without me by his side to attend the simultaneous Wive’s Training. I originally typed this post on Sunday evening, but according to my hubby’s counsel I toned it down before publishing it.

As LG was leaving the meeting, he saw a friend of ours. He asked her what I had missed from the women’s meeting when she asked where I was. LG told her that I had taken courage from a talk today in church. The regional rep’s wife talked about resting from our labors on Sunday and when LG got home from church I explained to him that his calling in the Bishopric is one of my greatest labors. I was resting tonight! I needed to be home with my kids, not take them off to a sitter on Sunday. (If I am to be totally honest, I would have preferred to have LG home with us too, but I can’t control him or his desire to attend his meetings)

Our friend told LG that the wives’ meeting was about righteous selfishness. (I still don’t think this is exactly the correct term) The friend explained, “The jist of the meeting was that when a woman has a husband in such a busy calling, it is o.k. for her to act selfishly sometimes if it is to meet the needs of the family. “

LG replied, “Oh good, I guess it was o.k. for Alice to miss this one. She’s got that one down. In fact, she is practicing that right now.”

Yeah for me: I am a great Sabbath Day keeper! Yes, I do a lot of other things wrong, and I may even receive criticism for my choice to not go to the meeting. But by golly, I am teaching my kids that the Sabbath is the day for a family to worship together, not to go to parties or be carted off to the sitter.