Month: January 2013

My opinions

I never keep my opinions to myself.
Those of you who know me,
know that I always speak the truth.
So when I say NEVER I mean never.
And by truth, I mean
things the way that I see them.

One of my goals this year is to NOT
make any comments at church
for a whole year.
You have no idea how hard
this is going to be for me.

Maybe if I don’t raise my hand
or blurt out anything funny
my husband will channel
his polar opposite and get
up one fast Sunday and
bear his testimony
to the world.

Be the change you wish to see in the world.

There are good sides to being the way that I am.
Some people really like me for my openness.
There are bad sides too.
Some people are big-time haters.

I am a very black and white person.
It is something I am trying to work on:
taking myself into the grey zone
from time to time.
How weird does that sound?
Who wants to be stuck in the Twilight Zone?

I don’t want to be the kind of person
who instantly likes another
or hates them.
I want to be how I would hope
others would be for me,
like my good,
ignore my bad.

A while back in church we discussed

If you judge people, 
you have no time to love them. 
              ~Mother Teresa

Man, I suck at this.

However,
because this is my blog,
I can use it to throw opinions out,
Guilt-free.

So even though you all know I am trying to
not judge people,
and give them the benefit of the doubt,
here are some of my black and whites
that I am trying to turn grey.

I am not into essential oils,
even though every other mom in Utah is.
I will use some if you give them to me for free,
otherwise I will stick to the stuff
I can buy at the pharmacy in Wal-Mart.

I am not into whole foods, even though I did just make cookies with coconut oil and they were good.

I think Girl Scout cookies are evil.
I gained 5 pounds in one week one time
because I ate 3 boxes in a day.
I don’t let my girls be Girl Scouts.
I say it’s because I don’t need one more thing in my life,
but really it’s because I still hold a grudge towards those cookies.

I feel sorry for people with bratty kids, and even though I try and tell myself that my kids are brats sometimes and maybe their kids have a special condition, I mostly am stuck in blaming other people for their crappy parenting. (Mental illness is the exception here. I do know a lot of kids that do in fact have conditions.) I am talking about the kids whose only condition is crappy parents. For some reason I can love the kids easier than their parents. I guess because I recognize that the parents are doing the best they can and I shouldn’t take it out on the kid.

I hate how rude people have become when in public movie theaters. Turn off your phone already. Don’t bring your baby to an action film (or any film) unless you are prepared to take them out at the first sign of fuss. Stop talking. Watch the dang show and remember the people around you paid almost $10 to do the same.

I gravitate towards people who have an exceptional sense of humor (as long as it is a lot like mine) and/or love to have a good time. I also gravitate towards people who are exceptionally smart. I guess opposites do attract sometimes. Wait, does that mean I’m not really funny? Yes, I am admitting I am not smart. I have a goal this year to tell myself I am smart every day until I believe it.

I am so annoyed with people who think they are more important than other people, especially when they are humored by the whole community around them. Your kids are not that cute and they don’t deserve special privileges. That is all I am going to say about that because someone reading this may figure out who I am talking about.

I have major issues with dads who father kids but then don’t provide for them. Major. Issues. I have issues with mothers who allow this to happen and don’t walk away and/or advocate for their kids or in the very least get a job. Once again I don’t have a hard time with the kids, they’ve never been taught any different. Why can I not see the grown parents as the kids that were never taught any different?

I also have issues with the hypocrites that get up in front of crowds and talk about how much they love their families, but really avoid spending time with them as often as they possibly can.

I really don’t want visiting teachers. I understand this makes me a hard person to love. I don’t like feeling like an assignment. Be my friend or don’t but don’t come and check on me because someone told you to.

Here is a doozie for you. If in the next life man is going to be totally pure of thought, but can also have a more than one wife, does that mean he will be able to have sex with them at the same time? I truly do lose sleep wondering about things like this.

I secretly hate people who won’t admit their weakness. I really do. Don’t live your life in such a way that your goal is to make everyone else around you think they have to live up to your standard. bahahaha That sounds pathetic. It is what it is.

I am openly jealous of homeless people: not only do they not have to pay taxes, they have freedom to roam wherever they want to go and do or not do whatever. After many pep talks from my husband, I have come to understand how totally irrational and ridiculous this is.

I hate brussel sprouts. (I just looked up brussel in the dictionary) I can’t imagine any scenario where they would actually taste good. O.k. maybe I wouldn’t hate them if they were all I could find to eat after three days of starvation, but I wouldn’t think they taste good. Ever.

I am going to hell for saying everything I just said. I should delete this whole post. I should have said prayers and studied my scriptures before opening my blog this morning. I don’t really know if I want to let you all in on my deep dark secrets. This post is going to have haters and lovers. Can’t wait for the lovers. Trying to ignore the haters already.

Hitting publish. now.

Book Review: The Willpower Instinct

This is a paid review for the BlogHer Book Club.
Go here to join the discussion.

The Willpower Instinct: How Self-Control Works, Why It Matters, and What You Can Do to Get More of ItThe Willpower Instinct: How Self-Control Works, Why It Matters, and What You Can Do to Get More of It by Kelly McGonigal
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Here is my word one review of this book: fascinating. Absolutely fascinating.

Reading this book made me feel like I was being embraced at the smart kid table. Even though I only got a low 20 on my ACT it no longer mattered, the smart kids were more than willing to share with me their secrets. Even though I didn’t know it before I joined them for lunch, I really needed to know all their secrets. You see the smart people are the ones who get willpower. Because they ever so intellectually understand the research; they know what they have to do to drink milk not soda, avoid the desserts all together, and most importantly NOT say anything EVER that is going to be offensive. (Well, I guess I did kind of know I needed that last one.)

I would love to follow around the author of this book: Kelly McGonigal, Ph.D. and a professor at Stanford. I want to watch her every move and I want to question her incessantly at how much of the information she uses from her research to guide her every day decisions. I laugh as I imagine the endless scenarios: Starbucks (are you getting that coffee just because you didn’t get enough sleep last night?), Checking e-mail (Are you checking it out of habit, is this what you really want to be doing right now?), Vending machine (Are you not getting the healthy option just because it’s there?). Read the book. You’ll quickly understand.

All kinds of interesting people find their own willpower by attending McGonigal’s seminar, and for the rest of us less-interesting folks who can’t afford to go to California, there is the book. I think I would prefer to attend the seminar, but the book sometimes just has to do the trick because it’s all we’ve got. I did a quick read of this book for this review, but the next time I pick it up (and there will be a next time) I plan to read it as it was originally intended: a self-guided master through a willpower challenge in my life. I think the book will be much more powerful when used a bit at a time towards a real-life obstacle, especially for those of us from the lower end of the IQ spectrum who (cough cough) have a hard time retaining all the amazingly fascinating information.

Great read and I highly recommend it to everyone, but especially those of us that are sick of fighting the same battles of willpower over and over again. And really, isn’t that all of us? Even the kids at the smart table had to learn this for themselves; they just did it before the rest of us suckers.

View all my reviews

Here is an interesting small workshop I found on youtube.

Caroline Temple
In 2011 I posted a picture of Sophia’s clay monsters.
Today in my draft box I came across 
this video of Caroline’s destruction of it.
How time flies.
And how this little Caroline (Shirley Temple) got all grown up
is beyond my comprehension.
I miss the baby stage.
I really do.
How entertaining toddlers are.

How she has grown.
Funny quick story about Caroline
and her Shirley Temple like talent.
When we were at Abigail’s choir concert back in December,
the choir director assisted the choir
with their accapella number
with their three start notes on the piano.
Three year old Caroline
took her cue
and loudly
very loudly
sang
each note
in succession
in perfect pitch
with the lyrics
la la la.
We all chuckled
which egged her on more.
Which was a really bad thing
considering the choir
was about to sing
Angels we have heard on high
and Caroline took our
laughter as a cue
that she was invited to
a sing-along
with every round of
Gloria.
Proud parenting moment.
I need to get this girl in pre-Broadway classes.
Instead I bought her a pair of tap shoes
at the thrift-store.

2013 goals or Going for the Gold
I’ve been trying to finalize my 2013 goals.
Even though I gave myself a C last year,
I am an absolute believer in the adage
“goals that are not written down are just wishes.”
While at Ikea on our date Saturday
LG and I came up with a winning idea
on how to motivate our family
towards betterment.
Money is a pure motivator
for all of us,
so we are going to reward ourselves
with GOLD.
We decided on family Olympics
for 2013.
Or as LG says,
“We’re having family hunger games.”
Everyone will get to put their names
in a pot in a once a week drawing
for 5 gold coins.
We will all earn chances in the pot
by accomplishing
our 5 personal and 5 family goals daily.
(That’s up to 70 shots a week)
Unlike hunger games,
we want our names in the pot.
The more we accomplish our goals,
the better chance we have to win a gold coin (or 5).
Our theme is
“Go for the Gold.”
Get it.
We’re the Gold’s.
We’re so funny.
I am super excited about
the 5 rings of improvement.
LG and I narrowed our desires for our kids into
5 categories:
spiritual, mental, physical, emotional, and financial.
(See the above photo)
Here are the goals
we came up with as a family
in each category.

Some of these goals are going to be easier than others.
Reading should be a cinch.
Believe it or not
I think sharing feelings
might be harder (especially for some)
 than daily scripture study.
The kids are already up in arms
about the soda
but I love that they will still have the choice.
If they drink soda,
they lose a shot at a dollar.
If it were up to us
we’d take it away all together
but this way we make the point
without taking away their agency.
I am super excited about
seeing how this family challenge
will pan out.
I hope to win a few bucks along the way
and I think this may
have the “fun” factor
to keep us motivated all year.
Anyhow,
I am sure you have all been dying
to see what my goals are for
2013.
With no further ado,
by category
we go.
Financial
1.Save a $1 a day toward family vacation.
2.Stay under budget.
Emotional
1.Journal/study/meditate daily before doing anything else.
2.No phone in bed.
3.Give a meaningful inspired service weekly.

Physical
1.Use myfitnesspal every day until I weigh under 160 pounds.
2 Keep running 3x/week.
3.Run 2 half marathons (unless I get pregnant)
4. Add in a fourth workout every week. Something other than running.

Spiritual
1.Pray every day.
2.Temple once a month (take Abigail with 4x)
3.Organize family genealogy.

Mental
1.Learn a new word every day. 
(I discovered a cool app for this)
2.Go back to school,
even if it’s just one class.
3.Write every day
(blog/outline of novel)
4.Read 100 books
(adding in 1 junior non-fiction
to regular reading goals)

Marital
1.Bond every night.
(Communicate regularly)
2.Go to bed and wake up together.
It’s lofty, I know,
but if I only get a C,
I will still have accomplished twice
as much as if I had never written anything down.
My OCD side really loves fresh starts.
Just think, we have one every day.

New Year
In Utah,
we’ve had some record colds
for the past week.
I’ve loved all the snow.
I don’t think Olive has though.
Check out her water
frozen over.

We’ve all been enjoying our
Christmas gifts.
Caroline is up to her same antics.
But like her shirt says,
she is the best present ever
so it’s o.k. that
she’s spoiled rotten.
Right?
Notice that Santa
did bring the girl
all she wanted.
Make-up and nail polish.
Sophia finally got a fijit (she’s wanted it for 2 years
and Santa found it on sale at Target for $15.)
Caroline with her make-up case.
 She has carried it around the house with all her treasures.
Bella with her FurReal Pets.
Abigail with her combat boots. Katniss style.
My favorite gift you ask?
It is a 50/50 toss up between
my pizelle maker
that I asked for on pinterest
and
the diamond earrings
that LG
picked out
all by myself.
But my favorite of all was this purse.
I’ve been looking for the perfect purse for 3 years.
LG and I spotted this at TJMaxx a week after Christmas
but it was $100 so I put it back.
LG went back to the store
on his own accord and
surprised me with it for no reason at all
on New Year’s Eve.
He said it is my
“the party is over” purse.
That means I’ll have it to enjoy
when I go back to living on a
non-Christmas bonus budget.
It makes me so happy every time I see it.

I love this photo from Christmas.
Abigail thought that Bella’s present was awesome.
One of my favorite Christmas traditions is
taking the girls to the Dollar Tree and letting them shop.
It always proves to be entertaining.
I justify the expense by only letting them shop
for a select few and by
not doing stockings.

Oh yeah, this post was supposed to be about New Year.
Well, we had a great New Year.
We got to be reunited with our good friends
The Varnon Family
from Knoxville TN.
They were bringing Jordan out
for his first semester of college
and stayed with us a few days.
That’s Jordan.
The kid figured out that he can dominate
at Just Dance4 by only moving his arm.

Yeah, our family room is not made for 13 people,
but cozy is how we prefer to do things around here.
I suck at dancing.
But man I’m looking fit,
even with that layered looking
hanging all out.
Isn’t Caroline the cutest?
She’s a great dancer.
So are all these girls.

Of course we took the obligatory outoftowners
sightseeing trip to
Temple Square.
Here are two of my favorite photos.
I wish I had more time to play with  my camera.

Here are the Varnon’s
in front of the historical
Salt Lake Temple.
And here they are
in the Conference Center.

We stopped in at the church’s
Historical Museum.
They have a pretty great kids’ wing.
LG was pretty sick that day.
What a trooper.

I’m always amazed at how
some of my favorite pictures
are the spontaneous ones.
I sure love these kids.
Oh yeah,
we have rung in the New Year
 with the Varnon’s
every year but 2011 for about 10 years.
We missed our other
partners in crime
The Ryan family.
I am pretty certain
this year was the best.
The photo says it all.

We did some other fun stuff
while the Varnon’s were here.
We went up to see
Bridal Veil Falls.
We saw a funny movie.
(Highly recommend Here Comes the Boom).
We went to BYU.
We checked out Deseret Industries.
And last but certainly not least,
we went sledding.

If you made it this far in the post,
you are our true friends
and you are invited
to come and crash at our house
past the 3 day
fish and family stink
rule
any time.
Happy New Year y’all.
We love you Varnon family.
Hope you still love us
after spending that much time at our house.