Month: October 2011

Adieu Nutella Cookies

So the other day, while I am making myself some Nutella cookies, Caroline walks into the kitchen. She is stark naked and holds a diaper in her hand. She is repeating, “poopy, mommy, poopy” and “I get in shower with Bella.”

I put down the cookie-scooper and run over to discover that the girl is a genius. Yes, there is poopy in her diaper and yes she had somehow taken it off and carried it to me. I hurry and discard the diaper while simultaneously grabbing a hold of Caroline so she doesn’t sit anywhere or touch anything.

I run to find the place that she removed the dirty diaper from her body but can’t find poop anywhere in the rest of the house, including the hallway in front of the bathroom where the deed was most likely done. The poop is the hard kind, so less worrisome. All I could think about is e-mailing Amy Kafala and telling her that there are perks to not going vegan. Thank goodness we ate too little fiber yesterday.

I stand Caroline up on the changing table and carefully use the baby wipes to remove the remaining poop from her bum.

I tell her she can have a bath after Bella is done and I lay her down to replace the diaper.

I turn on some cartoons to distract her.

I then go back to the kitchen to scrub my arms and hands. From just under the elbows to all the way under my fingernails, I was thorough. The process took a good five minutes and a cup of handsoap.

I then go back to my cookies, which I remind you, are made mostly from Nutella.

Not surprisingly, I just can’t muster the strength to finish plan A. Nutella mixed with flour, sugar, and eggs looks strikingly like that something else to which I had just dedicated 10 minutes of my life.

That is the life of a mother.
Everything can change on a whim.
The sooner mothers lower their expectations for their own needs
and put themselves at the mercy of their children,
the better off it is for everyone.

Two-year-olds are no respecters of persons.
They don’t care if people want to shower alone.
They don’t care if you have been craving those cookies for two weeks.

I then sit down to write this story
and I find the post I titled last week.
I hadn’t written any of the post yet,
but it was going to be about how as a mother I have been exhausted.

My toddler is wearing me out.

What was the title of that post you wonder?

Scrapin’ the bottom of the Nutella jar.

See how things change in an instant?

No matter how desperate I am for a chocolate fix,
I won’t be scrapin the bottom of the Nutella jar again.

Ever.

And I bet neither will some of you.

Thank you for being a loyal reader and helping me
support my habit of telling awful things that happen to mothers alike everywhere.

What is it with this gross kid?

If you can relate to this story or found it mildly entertaining at my expense,
please feel free to share the story with a friend via e-mail, twitter, or facebook.

The links right below make it so easy.

Just , whatever you do, please don’t show your sympathy
or support by bringing me any chocolate cookies for a while,
and especially not hazlenut.

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Lyrics with Lessons

I recently really enjoyed this post by Cameron Smithson. Cameron used a great song to prove his point that if you want to be loved, you need to give love. You can love without being loved, but it sure does work better when it goes both ways.

Cameron was a Mormon missionary in Knoxville when we lived there and he came from my parts of California, so of course we fed him often. I’ve loved getting to know Elder Smithson as a person instead of just a missionary through his facebook and blog.

If you happen to cross paths with a Mormon missionary, I encourage you to ask them about their love for the Savior Jesus Christ. It may surprise you how close 19 year old kids can be to the Master himself.

In the LDS culture, we often play the do you know game. Well guess what I recently discovered about Cameron? His uncle is the wave at the bus guy I told you about a while back. Cameron’s aunt and mom left me some sweet comments after making the connection on facebook. Thanks guys.

When I told LG about Cameron’s kin all he said was, “Why is it no surprise that Smithson is related?” That was said in the highest complimentary way, of course. What cool people!!! It’s the California connection.

Anyhow, Cameron got me thinking about, how, I, like him, love songs with good lessons.

Lately this has been one of my fav’s.

I would like to dedicate this song to my husband
who is learning the other important life lesson about love.
You don’t have to earn love.
You don’t even have to be perfect to be loved.
In fact I think love is
almost received to a greater depth
when people are at their worst
because that’s when they need it the most.

LG, you are perfect to me.
Even at your worst.

Another one of my favorite lyrics is:

All you need is love.

I was really bummed yesterday
when President Monson
alluded to the fact
that it isn’t true
when talking about the
60’s hippy movement.
Bummer.

We love music around here.
Remember how I used Sarah McLaughlin’s lyrics
to make these adorable framed photographs in my dining room?

What are your favorite lyrics with lessons?

Flecks of Gold

Any message with gold in it is good enough for me.
This one is especially pertinent in a world where people are more entitled and impatient.

Speaking of gold.
I am filled with inspiration this weekend,
listening to a living prophet and apostles.
Yes, the gospel of Christ is restored.
And it is my greatest treasure.

Feel free to listen along today at 10 am and 2 pm MST  here.
Conference is one of the best ways
you can understand
what those crazy Mormons actually believe.

So long summer.
Good-bye summer.
I am going to tell you good-bye
before it gets too cold
and I am cursing you for leaving me.
I know this amazing weather can’t last.
I feel like I still live in San Diego.

One of my least favorite memories of this summer
was Bella’s kool-aid stand.
Maybe we will have better luck with an apple cider stand.
Yeah right, we are never selling beverage again.
When you get to Bella’s sad face, you’ll understand why.

Here she is.
This was at the beginning of the stand.
She is counting all of her hopeful profits.
She has something coming to her.
We set up down our street on the super busy State street.

We even made three flavors of kool-aid.
Tropical, blue, and orange.
Funny that we sold more Crystal Lite than anything.
It could have been because we only sold
three glasses.
Two glasses were bought by my health-conscience visiting teacher
that just happened to walk by.
God must have been watching out for Bella a little bit
to send her by in the very moment when she was needed most.

If I ever get suckered into this again,
we will call it a Crystal Lite stand.
Maybe that will actually make anyone stop
beyond the visiting teacher.
And Amy Kafala will cringe
because she thinks we should have an ice-water stand.

Memorize this face.
It’s the face of defeat.
It’s an important life lesson.
Even if it’s heartbreaking for the mama.
I am proud of my Bella,
she didn’t give up.

In the three hour commitment,
she ended up with $4 profit.
$1 from the visiting teacher.
$1 from the only lady who actually pulled her car over
and told us to keep the change
(and that was in our second location)
and $2 from mama when she bought the missionaries two glasses each.

She also suckered mom into
paying for the kool-aid, sugar, cups, and ice.

She may still have a future in business,
but has decided to stick with babysitting and doing extra chores.
They earn a better profit.

Did I mention it was like 90 degree outside?
You would think more people would be thirsty.

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